"No, he's just being Peeta about all of this," I sigh into the phone, rubbing the heel of my palm against my eyes. It's been a long night and I'm beyond exhausted, but I couldn't miss my weekly phone in with Prim, especially not on New Year's Eve.

"Are you sure it's because of the test and not something you did?" She counters. I can hear the rustling of papers on her desk as she moves them around, leaving me on speaker phone so anyone passing by can hear. Sometimes I think she does that just to keep me in line when I call her. It's probably a habit she's formed since she moved out west a year ago.

It's been almost a decade since our whole world changed and Prim was diagnosed with HIV. Since then we've grown stronger than I ever thought we could – Prim was now pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor and I was… Well, domesticating. The change had seen her move west for medical school and leave the stable community we had grown to be a part of. Despite my reservations, Prim had thrived and while the first few phone calls between us had involved me nursing my pain at her departure, we'd both changed for the better because of it.

"I'm sure. He always gets it in his head that it's going to be bad news, it's just something he does. Rye tries to talk him down from it but sometimes he just gets carried away. He always figures it out though," I reply knowing it's true.

Peeta and I had grown together over these last few years, even more so now that Prim was away at school. I won't deny that there had been bumps along the way, some scares about my status and a fight or two that scared the hell out of me, but we'd come down every time together and grown stronger for it. He gave me hope for the future and stability, qualities that had been sorely missing from my life before he crashed into it. Now Peeta was now the director of Posi+ive and I was working at a position Peeta had helped me secure for full-time at the legal aid office.

Or at least I had been until we had Charlie.

"Maybe he's not getting enough sleep? A newborn will do that to a person," Prim says, pulling me out of my thoughts. Yawning, I glance over to where Charlie is finally sleeping in her bassinette and smile softly.

Charlie had been the main cause of concern for Peeta this past year, his fear having spanned before the insemination up to today, the day of my testing.

I'd never known that having children was a possibility for magnetic couples before Prim's diagnosis. Hell, I hadn't even known what magnetic couples were let alone their fertility considerations. All of that had changed for me though and a large part of where I was now was likely because of Annie Cresta and Finnick Odair.

Peeta and I had made it a point to be there throughout Annie's pregnancy, trying to help fill the void of Finnick being gone and to help her get through the challenging months that she'd been facing alone. We'd been there the day of Aiden's birth, Finnick and Annie's beautiful son, and we'd been there nearly every day since, helping her get a job and caring for Aiden like he was our own. I'd watched Aiden grow into almost a mirror of Finnick, his confidence and protective nature having helped Annie move on from Finnick's death and into the centre's educational community liaison. In those early years I also hadn't failed to notice the look of longing on Peeta's face every time Aiden had come around.

It had been that look that had made me change my mind about having kids.

"Are you sure this is something that you want?" Peeta asked again, the memory flooding me. It was late one night as we lay in bed together, the clear sky visible through the loft's oversized windows. I was staring up at the stars, the idea of having a child with Peeta turning over in my mind.

Did I want children? Yes. Were Peeta and I ready for children? I thought so.

The consideration of HIV hadn't even factored into my thought process. I'd known then for sure that this was something I wanted more than anything.

"I'm sure," I whisper, turning to look him in the eye. I didn't need light to see the glow my words had brought to Peeta's features with my answer. He was in.

It hadn't been an easy road from that moment on like I'd hoped it would be, though we both had come to terms with the reasons why. Our first visit to the doctors had been filled with the gritty details of sperm washing and the estimated sky-high cost of the recommended procedure of IUI, intrauterine insemination. From there, we'd battled not only the medical screenings but also our own fears.

Peeta had, on more than one occasion, been so terrified of my contracting HIV from the pregnancy that he'd nearly backed out. Each time though he would come around after having reviewed the medical research and by reassuring himself that the procedure was medically founded and relatively safe. My own fears had not been so easily squashed – though money wasn't so much the issue now that we had medical coverage and steady incomes, I'd reverted back to my anxious habits by trying to control everything around me until my behaviour had forced Peeta and Prim to confront me about it. The fallout had resulted in both Peeta and I getting counselling together to discuss our reservations about the process. It helped.

The months leading up to the first IUI cycle attempt had been trying on us, but never once had we left one another to face it on our own.

Nor had the community. The moment we shared our news that I was well into my second trimester, I thought the centre would collapse from the excitement and baby gifts that started to arrive at Peeta's desk. Among the gifts, Johanna had given spiked baby boots while Annie passed down her bassinette and Prim knit a hat and mittens. Haymitch's gift had probably been the hardest on my hormonal emotions, bringing tears to my eyes.

"Here," Haymitch grunted, thrusting the small bear into my hands as I waited for Peeta in the front lobby. I stared at him in slight confusion, my mouth struggling to form words. "It's been… It's…" I remembering watching as he looked awkwardly around us. "Ours didn't… I wanted it to go somewhere it would be loved." The meaning behind his words was heartbreakingly apparent.

"Haymitch." The word tumbles from my lips with the heavy realization that this had been a gift for his child. One that he didn't have.

The memory stings inside of me as I come back to the present, my fingers rubbing the bear's ear affectionately.

"I better get going," I interrupt Prim's chatter as I catch sight of the clock. "I've gotta get Peeta and then we need to get uptown. Call me at midnight," I bid farewell to Prim and start to get ready for my appointment.

Peeta is waiting on the curb when I pull up to the centre, his blonde curls spilling out from the edges of his cap and his legs bouncing to keep warm.

"Hey there hot stuff," I roll the window down and call out to him as he approaches.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," he responds as he climbs in, his lips stealing a kiss before he buckles in. I smile to myself and pull back into traffic, heading towards my doctors as Peeta turns his attention to Charlie as she sleeps in the car seat.

We're quiet all the way there and I know it's because of what today could mean for us.

"Katniss Everdeen!" Cinna calls out as he enters the room, clipboard in hand and smile on his face. "Oh, and you brought along Charlie and Peeta. Good! The more the merrier! How are you doing, my dear?" He coos, sliding over to Charlie as she curls into Peeta's chest.

I wish I was able to cuddle against Peeta right now, especially as my nerves start to fray and my heels clamour against the bed's metal cabinets. At the noise, I see Peeta look towards me and frown, his hand reaching out for mine instinctively. Taking it in mine, I swallow the lump in my throat and dig deep into myself for the strength I know is hiding inside me.

"So, about the results?" Peeta prompts awkwardly, causing Cinna to stand up and look between us, lips pursed.

This is it. This is the moment I find out if the sperm washing worked or if carrying Peeta's baby, if growing Peeta's child inside of me for nine months, gave me the virus that Peeta has worked so hard to ensure I never get. This moment could tear him apart. I don't even know what it would do to me…

"The bloodwork came back and after six months, it looks like we're in the clear," Cinna states slowly, his eyes tracing down his clipboard and then meet both mine and Peeta's assuredly.

"No trace of HIV?" I confirm, my mouth dry. Cinna nods his head.

"We of course did the post-birth tests and they came up negative, as you know. These tests we have after six months when it's more likely that if you did have HIV, your viral load would likely be detectable. Thankfully, that isn't the case for you and the test is negative. You're not positive, Katniss," he affirms and the words are like rain as they wash over me and clear the fears from my mind.

"Not positive," Peeta whispers mostly to himself, then again as he looks at me and smiles wearily. I recognize the look as a mix of relief coupled with his own breed of sadness, the kind that creeps in on him when he faces a moment where his virus has made his life more challenging. It's the kind of sadness I hate seeing in his eyes, the kind that I know sometimes robs him of the really good moments in his life.

"Not positive," I echo and pull him to me so that I can wrap my arms around him and Charlie and feel their heartbeats against my skin. "I love you, Peeta Mellark," I murmur against his neck, my fingers gripping hard to his sweater. "I love you too, Charlie Everdeen-Mellark," I add and brush my nose against my daughter's.

We stay like that for who knows how long, Cinna having disappeared at some point and leaving us to have some privacy. The news comes as such a relief that I feel almost like I'm floating as Peeta guides us out of the medical building and back into the street. When we climb in the car, Peeta having placed Charlie in the car seat before joining me in the front, I finally feel my body relax and the tears come to me in a hot rush. I'm crying before Peeta even has his door closed and then his arms wrap around me so tight that I wish I could stay like this forever.

"When does this get easier?" I ask later that night, my tears long past as I rest my head against Peeta's chest. The TV before us is playing its regular New Year's Eve coverage, the sounds filling the quiet apartment around us.

"Over time. It'll always be there, but it'll get easier. It will," he reassures me. I feel his lips press against the top of my head and his arms tighten.

"I'm sorry," I sigh. It spills from me and I know I shouldn't – I know Peeta would never wish this upon me – but I can't help but hurt at the fact that he's the only one who has HIV in this family and that he is the only one who knows what that truly means. Charlie and I, we won't understand his battles, not really, and that's good, I have to believe it is, but it also means he's alone. I wish he never had to be alone in this.

"Katniss," he pauses, his fingers sliding against the skin of my back until I look up to meet his gaze. Behind me I hear the buzz from the TV get louder, the impending ball drop getting closer. "Don't apologize for this. For giving me everything I've ever wanted. Don't apologize for giving me a happy, healthy, family to love. I would give my life for you and Charlie, in a heartbeat. This isn't something we're sorry for, it is what it is. Besides, without it, would we even be here today?"

The thought turns over in my mind and I have to smile. Would we be sitting here, enjoying this quiet New Year's at home with our beautiful child in the room down the hall?

"I like to think we would. But I wouldn't change this for the world." And I know for sure that that's true.

"Me too," he says, his lips meeting mine for a brief moment. "Let's make a resolution for a year where we only move forward."

Our eyes meet, his so full of love and mine so full of hope. The clock countdown starts and I lean back, my hands grabbing Peeta's shirt.

"We don't need a resolution, we've already started," I respond and pull myself into a kiss where I can't tell where I end and he begins.

Later, I catch myself laughing. It starts as a small hiccup, right as the sweat cools on my skin as we lay together on the couch, and then bursts into a cackle that pulls Peeta out of his sleep.

"What are you laughing about now, evil woman?" He croaks, nose nuzzling into my neck.

"Oh, just something about bringing in the New Year with a bang."

AN: Happy New Year's Eve everyone! Please have a safe and fun night! Note that this bit didn't get sent to my beta because I'm flaky and just wrote it, so any and all errors are mine (I did my research but you know, I'm human and make mistakes). Love you all, have a great 2015!