Disclaimer: The Hunger Games Trilogy is property of Suzanne Collins. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.

Note: This is Gale's side story which takes place in the same universe and runs concurrently to my story "Spectator." You will likely want to read that fic first since I will be making reference to the events that take place in it. This chapter takes place during and after the events of Chapter 36.

Forgotten
By Fanfic Allergy

oOo

Chapter Ten

oOo

Working with Captain Miner for the next few days helps keep my mind off of Katniss's upcoming wedding. But keeping busy can't completely keep the feeling of dread from gnawing at my heart. As much as I've mentally come to terms with Katniss getting married, I still am a bit heartbroken at what I've lost.

Madge seems to understand. She's been carefully making sure I have various distractions like taking Rory out into the Meadow for the first time to teach him how to identify the edible plants there and altering some of her father's old suits for me to wear.

The fact she can sew as well as she can is a bit of a surprise. When I asked her about it she just shrugged and said that a lot of merchant girls are encouraged to participate in 'quilting circles' and as the Mayor's daughter she has an obligation to participate.

"Sounds boring," I tell her as she's letting down the hem of the pair of pants I'm wearing.

She pulls the pins she's holding out of her mouth and says, "It is. Although if you ever want to know which merchant girls would defy their families to date you, I might be persuaded to divulge the names."

I grin down at her. "Isn't that against some kind of rule?"

"It would be if I actually liked any of them," she says going back to what she's doing.

"I don't think I'm up for a relationship at the moment. Thanks for the offer, though."

"Probably for the best." She flashes me a grin. "They're all a bunch of busybodies anyway!"

I laugh. It's good to have a friend.

oOo

The day of Katniss's wedding arrives.

I'd been afraid that it'd be another rationed power day and I'd be forced to watch the woman I love get married to another man in front of the whole district. But Captain Miner and the Mayor worked together to make sure this didn't happen.

It'd be an insult, Captain Miner pointed out, if the District which is home to the star-crossed lovers couldn't have enough power to watch the event of the season from the comfort of their own homes. I'm a little surprised at her vehemence since I know that her daughter was in the Games with the boy she'd planned on marrying. I'd have expected her to want to exact some kind of revenge. I guess she has more integrity than that. And if her integrity means that I don't have to have my pain paraded in front of all of District Twelve, I'll take it.

It's still small comfort.

I might not be forced to watch the woman I love get married while the rest of District Twelve watches me, but that doesn't change that I'm still watching Katniss marry that damned merchant Mellark. I know I shouldn't think of him that way, not all merchants are useless, but I can't stop my resentment. Mellark's stealing my family, and what's worse is I'm sure the bastard knows it.

I can't hide what I'm feeling from Madge as much as I want to. I know she feels a little betrayed, like I'm backsliding, but in a way I guess I am. For today, I'm allowed to hate Peeta Mellark. For today, I'm allowed to want to throttle whoever thought it was a good idea to marry my girl to that damned merchant. For today, I'm allowed to be the old Gale Hawthorne who doesn't see shades of gray, who only sees the world in black and white, good or evil, us versus them. I want Madge to understand, it's important that she does, even though I'm not sure why it's important that she does. But I'm not sure I can face her today.

I'm not sure I can face anyone.

The Everdeen house is empty. I stand in the main room looking around, thinking of all of the things Katniss and I have done here. We made love on her mother's bed and we celebrated birthdays, hers, mine, Posy's, at that very table. This place has so many memories. What's one more?

The screen turns on despite the occupants not being home and an excited blue-haired woman chattering away. Next to her sits Vera Johnson, who the blue-haired woman identifies as one of the Capitol's premier couture designers. They're chattering on excitedly about the who's who of the Capitol elite who are attending the wedding of the star-crossed lovers from District Twelve. I want to scream at them that they aren't lovers, that Katniss is mine, but I somehow manage to keep it inside. I watch wave after wave of brightly colored people enter President Snow's gardens where the wedding will take place. They're dressed extravagantly, with bodies and hair dyed to match their clothes. Vera can't stop talking about one woman who's wearing a bright pink hat that looks a bit like a toilet seat on her head. I'm not sure why it's the look of the season, but apparently it is.

On and on the parade continues and I wish they would just get it over already. I don't need to see undersecretary so-and-so with his paramour of the moment, screen actress what's-her-face. None of these people matter to us out here in the districts. They're just names on a TV screen who have nothing to do with real life. The only names I do recognize are those from the Games. Finnick Odair. Beetee Lee. Haymitch Abernathy.

There's a knock on the door and I know immediately who's there. There's only one person it could be: Madge. I open it to see the Mayor's daughter standing there, a brown paper bag clutched in her hands.

"Why are you here?" I ask without any preamble.

"I thought you might like some company."

"Well you thought wrong. Goodbye." I start to shut the door in her face.

She reaches out, her hand stopping me from closing the door. "Damn it, Gale! I'm about fed up with you!"

"Well that makes two of us."

"What has gotten into you?" she asks incredulously. "Where's the guy who took me hunting? Who talked to me? Laughed with me? Where's that guy gone? Because I sure as crap don't recognize this asshole standing in front of me. And I'm about to ask him to get the fuck out of my friend's house!"

I stare at her. She's pissed. Not that I really can blame her, I am acting like a bit of a dick, but I didn't expect her to react this way. "You know why," I say, not willing to admit that I'm wrong.

"No, I really kind of don't! You've known this was coming, you've known for weeks!"

"Well knowing something is gonna happen and actually seeing it happen are two different things!"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I suppose, but that sounds like an excuse to me."

I try to close the door again. "Go away, I don't want to be around anyone today."

"Too bad. We don't always get what we want. You're acting like an idiot, Hawthorne. And you're forgetting that we're in enemy territory."

"We're always in enemy territory," I say.

"That's right. Which means you can't afford to let your guard down. I promised myself for Katniss's sake that I wouldn't let you do anything stupid, and I'm gonna keep that promise." She reaches into the bag and pulls out an iced sugar cookie. "So, cookie?"

I stare at the iced sugar cookie she's holding out. There's nothing special about it, nothing painted on the icing, but I'm just not sure if I should take it.

"Look, you don't have to eat it," she says. "Take it home to Posy, I'm sure she'll like it. But if you're eating something, you're not running your mouth."

I take the cookie and set it on the table. "I'm not hungry. Besides, I'll probably just throw up anything I do eat."

"That's a good point," she concedes. "I might be willing to keep you from being an idiot, Hawthorne, but I'm not about to clean up your vomit. We're friends, but we're not that good of friends."

"Good to know you have boundaries."

"Well, a girl's gotta have standards."

"So what else do you have in that bag of yours?" I ask.

"Wonderful things," she answers. "I've got strawberries and some chocolate that I've been saving for just such an occasion. No alcohol, we don't need a drunk Gale running around."

I chuckle.

"But I do have some fried chicken, a bunch of cheese buns from the bakery." She starts to pull the items out of her bag, setting them on the table. "You do not know how much I have missed those cheese buns and I am glad the Mellarks are back, even if Mrs. Mellark is in a fit. You'd think it was the most horrible thing on earth that her son survived the Hunger Games and is marrying Katniss. She's even being more of an asshole than you, if you can believe it. Captain Miner's about to lock her up for disorderly conduct. The woman will just not shut up about how horrible the Capitol is and how it's such a travesty that her baby boy has to marry that 'slut from the Seam.'"

I feel my anger rise at the slur. "Katniss is not a slut."

Madge looks up at me. "Of course she's not, but good luck telling Muffy Mellark that. I'm glad we fleeced her brother." She smiles ferally. "It couldn't happen to a nicer family."

"Is it wrong that I feel sorry for Mellark for having a mom like that?"

"No. It means you're human and not a complete asshole, just only most of one. For today at least."

I look at the brown paper bag and note it's still got stuff in it. "What else is in there?"

"Stuff for later, if you need it," she answers mysteriously.

"Like what?"

"Some extra handkerchiefs, some sleep syrup, if you get really out of hand or if you need it for tonight, and…"

"And?"

She reaches in and pulls out a small stuffed bear. "And Chester."

"Chester?"

"My bear." She cuddles the bedraggled toy to her chest. "He's named after my Grandpa Chester. Grandpa gave him to me when I was born, my mom tells me. I don't really remember, I never really knew him. He died a few months after I was born. Chester kept me safe, growing up. I figured he could keep you safe. You don't have to snuggle him, but he gives good snuggles." She holds the bear out to me.

I take it gently. It's got fuzzy brown fur made from some kind of material that's similar to velvet. There's a yellow polka-dot bow tied around its neck. The bow is a bit droopy and lop-sided, like it's been tied and re-tied several times. I'm touched she would bring her childhood toy to share with me. "You really are a good friend, Madge Undersee," I say.

"Nice of you to notice." She sighs. "Look, I know you don't want to do it, but it looks like everyone is taking their seats. The ceremony's about to begin and it's better if you see this for yourself rather than hear about it later."

She's right.

The announcers explain that Caesar Flickerman will be performing the ceremony and President Snow will be acting as Katniss's father in terms of giving her away, and it's all so very very exciting. This explains why Caesar isn't narrating this travesty, he's a part of it.

Madge seems more concerned about President Snow's role. "That's not good," she says, frowning. "I wonder why he's so involved."

I shrug. "He's probably up to something."

Madge gives me a look. "That's a given. The question is what. What does he have planned? I'm worried about Katniss. She doesn't know how to play the game."

"She's also a terrible liar," I add, thinking about my own interactions with various officials.

Madge frowns even more. "That's not good."

"What about this whole thing is?" I ask.

She just shrugs.

Mellark escorts Caesar Flickerman down the aisle, then takes his place, adjusting the cuffs of his ivory jacket. The Vera person is exclaiming excitedly over the flame and mockingjay motif embroidered on Mellark's vest and hinted at along the cuffs of his waistcoat and trousers.

"He's still wearing the pin," Madge notes and I see the mockingjay pin, the one that he's been wearing throughout the Games, is prominently on display over his heart.

"Wonder where he got it."

"Katniss gave it to him," Madge answers. "You'd find that out eventually," she tells me when I stare at her incredulously. "The pin was my Aunt Maysilee's. I gave it to Katniss when she was Reaped and she gave it to Peeta."

"Do you know why?" I'm unable to keep myself from asking.

"Something about she owed him. I don't claim to understand how the whole system of Seam owing works, but Katniss felt that was all she could do at the time to try to settle her debt."

I nod my head, accepting the story. It makes sense. I'm guessing she feels she owes Mellark for saving Prim's life. I understand why she's doing what she is. I even understand why Mellark did what he did. I understand it all. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

I try to focus on inconsequential things, like what people are wearing or the decorations. I note Caesar's also dressed in the continuing flame theme, but his suit is much more sedate than what he normally wears. There are several bird decorations scattered about and even the roses seem to be representing flames. I'm guessing that Mellark's designer had a hand in that.

The background music changes and the commentators fall into a hush. Katniss emerges a few moments later, one hand resting in the crook of President Snow's arm.

I can't take my eyes off of her.

Whoever designed her dress should be commended. Compared to all of the brightly colored overly styled ornate outfits that the Capitolites are wearing, Katniss's dress is almost plain in comparison, but calling it plain would be doing it a disservice. She's been rather carefully styled to look as youthful and innocent as possible. Her dress is simple, the overlying lace matching the embroidery on Mellark's vest. Her makeup is clean and if I hadn't spent day after day, year after year, looking at her face, I would think that she wasn't wearing any. There's a crown of flowers resting on her head, similar to the crowns Posy and I make in the Meadow. Whoever made that decision, I don't know if I want to cuff them or compliment them. Katniss is beautiful, and now all of Panem can see it.

She's also clearly trying to look happy, but I know her well enough to know that she's not.

How could she be? She told me she never wanted to be a wife or mother, and now she's going to be both.

I can't stop the jealous thoughts from forming. If she had to marry anybody, why couldn't it be me? At least I actually know her, understand her, love her. Mellark says he's in love with her, but I don't know how he can be. Katniss says they never even talked until the day he was Reaped, and I believe her. You can't love someone without ever talking to them.

That's not love. That's obsession.

I'm scared for her.

My fears magnify when Caesar steps forward and delivers his opening speech. "We're gathered here today to witness the unification of this handsome young Victor, Peeta Mellark," he indicates Peeta with a grand gesture then turns to Katniss, "and his beautiful inspiration, his faithful bride-to-be Katniss Everdeen."

Beside me Madge snorts.

I glare at her.

Back on the television, Caesar continues his speech, gesticulating excitedly throughout. "Together, they defied the customs of their backwards district to fall in love and start a family together."

"Backwards my ass." I glare at the screen. "Who writes this crap?"

Madge snorts again. "Probably Caesar or Snow."

I grunt, wishing I didn't have to watch this mockery of a wedding.

"We've been blessed to be a part of their love story, and more importantly, they have been blessed by the Capitol with this happy ending. Because, if it weren't for the Games, they never would have been able to have a marvelous wedding here, at our beloved President Snow's mansion." Confirming Madge's guess that Snow had a hand in the speech writing and the whole wedding. "And it's thanks to our dear President Snow that we're able to even have been witness to Katniss and Peeta's inspiring love story. This, my friends, is why we have the Games. The Games brought these two young people together and they show us that the wisdom of the Capitol so long ago after the horror of the Dark Days was right. Their love is proof of the Capitol's love and I don't know about you, but I look forward to seeing this love story through to the very end."

Madge lets out a low whistle. "That's not good," she says. "That last line. I don't like that last line."

"I don't like the whole thing," I say, "but what about that last line bothers you?"

"It sounds like a threat. Like Caesar's going to be alive to see the marriage come to an end. Which he shouldn't. Caesar's old. I'd be surprised if he lived another twenty years. The fact that he's planning to see this through to the very end? I'm worried about Katniss and Peeta."

"I'm sure that was just Caesar being Caesar. He's always like that. I mean, how many kids does he tell 'I look forward to seeing you back here at the Victory Celebration?' It's just words."

"I hope you're right," Madge says.

Caesar drones on about the power and the generosity of the Capitol for several minutes longer and the camera flickers to various people's reaction shots. I don't know if I'm supposed to recognize any of the people that the camera shows on screen, but I'm guessing they have some significance.

Caesar finally wraps up ten or so minutes later, saying, "And now our lovely couple will exchange their marriage vows. Peeta has requested to go first."

The camera switches to the merchant. "I, Peeta Mellark, take you, Katniss Everdeen, to be my wife. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, through any trials and tribulations, to protect our family against all who might threaten it. To be your helpmate in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, no matter what the future has in store."

I can feel my blood boiling. The bastard means me. He means that he's got it out for me. He knows I'm not going to give up my daughter that easily. The kid's mine, damn it. I have the right to be a part of her life and that bastard's not gonna keep her away from me.

Madge must guess what I'm thinking because she says, "I don't think he's talking about you, you know."

"Who else could he be talking about?"

"I don't know, how about the people who put them there?" she answers, rolling her eyes. "The people who are forcing him to get married to Katniss. He's basically telling them, 'you mess with my family, you're gonna have to go through me.' It's sweet, but really, really stupid."

"He's not gonna keep me from my daughter," I grumble.

"You're going to have to talk to Katniss about that," Madge says. "But be careful. The Capitol doesn't know who you are and what you mean to Katniss. A lot of people have risked their lives to make sure of that. Don't sacrifice their efforts just because you're feeling all alpha male."

I grumble but nod my head. I know the main reason why I have the job with her father is so I wouldn't have to provide the reference sample for working in the mines. A reference sample that could be used to match up my unborn daughter's DNA to my own.

Katniss is up next. She looks uncomfortable, nervous, and she stumbles haltingly over her vows. I can tell right away that she didn't write them. Katniss is not what you'd call eloquent and the vows are nothing like what we say here in District Twelve. The one thing I notice is that, unlike Mellark, she doesn't promise to love her new husband. Knowing my Katniss, she couldn't lie that well. It'd show on her face, and then the jig'd be up. Whoever wrote the drivel that she's spouting must have known that and adjusted what she had to say accordingly. I don't know why, but just knowing that Katniss doesn't love Mellark makes me feel better. I know that I don't have a chance with her, not anymore, but he doesn't get off scot-free either.

The rest of Katniss's wedding is more Capitol fluff. There's a choir of small children singing what I can only guess are Capitol wedding song standards but to me just sound like more of the same brainless drivel that the Capitol's known for. Caesar gives another speech praising President Snow. It's almost as if the wedding were a secondary event to this President Snow love fest.

Finally comes the part I'd been dreading the most. Caesar finishes his last President Snow praise-a-thon and then smiles benevolently at Katniss and Mellark. "And now the part I'm sure you've all been dying for! With the authority vested in me by President Snow and our beloved country of Panem, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Peeta Mellark, winner of the Seventy Fourth Hunger Games, you may now kiss your bride!"

To Mellark's credit, the kiss is awkward and perfunctory. It's clear that both participants are extremely uncomfortable with the parts that they're having to play, and it shows. I wonder if the Capitol will realize the whole thing's a farce, but Caesar just passes it off as newlywed nerves.

The camera lingers on Katniss and Mellark. I wonder if they're hoping for a redo, but it doesn't happen. The over-effusive announcers return, saying that the live footage is now over, but that they'll be showing highlights from the reception in President Snow's own banquet hall later this evening and that you won't want to miss it. And that Caesar Flickerman will be by later to add some color commentary to today's wonderful events.

Madge gets up and shuts the TV off. I'm not sure I could take that much more.

I look up at her. "So… that's it," I say.

She nods her head. "That's it. I'm not gonna ask you how you feel, I've got a pretty good idea. But I do have to ask one thing."

"What?"

"Are you gonna pull a Muffy Mellark?"

I know what she means. Am I going to run around cursing the Capitol. I shake my head. "No. You beat enough sense into me. I know better than that."

"They're going to be home in a couple of days," she says. "You gonna be able to face them?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"We all have choices. Sometimes the choices are just between a bunch of bad options."

"I guess it depends on Mellark," I say. "And on Katniss."

Madge shakes her head. "Only you can decide what you're gonna do. You can't pass the buck to Katniss or Peeta. They're not in charge of you."

I make a face. She's right. Again. I'm getting a little sick of it. "I hate that you're right," I tell her.

"But at least you're smart enough to recognize it." She smiles at me encouragingly.

"Not like I got a choice. You'll smack me over the head if I forget. Look. I need time to think," I tell her. "Alone."

She nods her head. "Don't take too much time," she says. "There isn't a whole lot of time left."

oOo

She's right. There's not.

Orville pulls me to one side the following day. "The teams have arrived to move the Victors' stuff," he says.

"Move it where?"

He gives me a look.

"Oh, right. Victors' Village. Sorry about that." A thought strikes me. "Why now? Don't they normally move themselves?" We haven't had a Victor in so long I'm not sure about the procedures.

Orville shakes his head. "The Capitol oversees the move. Most of the time the Victor's family is there to make sure that the movers take what they want. This year's a little...unusual."

"That's one way of putting it," I say darkly.

"Yeah, well, we just have to roll with it." The Mayor shuffles some papers on his desk, before returning to the topic at hand. "I figured Carrick could take the Mellarks' place while you took the Everdeens'."

"Why can't Ronnie take the Everdeens'?" I know I sound like a petulant teenager, but I'd really rather not supervise the ransacking of my best friend's house by a bunch of Capitol goons. The way I'm feeling right now I'm afraid I'll 'do something stupid' as Madge says and I'd rather not break my promise to the girl.

Madge's father regards me sympathetically. "I know you'd rather not be involved. But unfortunately this move is a bit more complicated than normal and I don't think Ronnie'll be able to do what you can. You see, some of the stuff's going to go to Prim's house in the Victors' Village while some of it's going to go to Peeta's."

"You mean, you want me to sort through Katniss's stuff and tell them what to take to Mellark's house." It's not a question.

Orville nods his head. "Ronnie's not going to know what's Katniss's and what's Prim's and what's Violet's. You will."

"I'm not happy about this, sir." I need to make sure he understands that the only reason I'm going to do this is because he's ordering me to.

"You don't have to be," he tells me. "You've just got to do it."

I shunt my feelings to the side to focus on the task facing me. "Who's going to be doing the actual moving?" My tone is businesslike, crisp.

Tilting his head down to scan the papers in his hands, the Mayor says, "The Capitol's sent a team and there'll be Peacekeepers supervising the whole thing. They arrived on the train this morning."

"And when are the Everdeens getting back?"

He checks the papers. "Tomorrow afternoon." He sets them back down on his desk. "They sent a TV crew on the train this morning as well."

"Turning it into a whole big show, aren't they?" I motion to the papers.

"Did you really expect otherwise?" Orville asks me, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards. "These are the star-crossed lovers of District Twelve. Of course the Capitol wants to see their triumphant return to the backwards hamlet that tried to stifle their love."

I can tell Orville doesn't believe a word of it and that he's parroting Caesar tongue-in-cheek. But it doesn't make it any less frustrating. I need to get away from Katniss, to be able to think, and standing around directing total strangers to ransack her house isn't going to do that.

But surprisingly it's easier than I expected. The Capitol's team of movers takes us to the Victors' Village first so that we can get an idea of what they might need. Personal effects, some clothing, whatever food they have stored. But that's it. The houses are fully furnished, complete with dishes, silverware, linens for the beds… they don't need to take much and it's a bit surprising.

I walk through the two almost identical houses in a daze. I feel lost and out of sorts. The sameness disconcerts me since I'm used to the quirky architecture and decorating associated with houses in the Seam. Only the color of the furniture tells me that I'm not in the same house. Even the walls have been painted in the same neutral tones.

In the entryway of what I've been told will be Mellark's house are a bunch of crates. None of them are labeled, but I think I see a chandelier poking out of one of them although that raises a slew of other questions I have no way of finding out the answer to. In addition to the chandelier, there are also several brightly wrapped packages of varying sizes and shapes.

"Coming through!" a voice calls out. I step to one side and two of the movers walk in with dollies full of crates and boxes.

"What is all this stuff?" I ask, staring at the ever growing pile of packages.

"Don't know, but it came on the train with us," one of the men says.

The other pipes up, "I think a bunch of it's baby stuff. I'm pretty sure I saw a box of diapers mixed in with all this crap."

"Where's it all going to go?"

"Not my problem," the man says brusquely. "Our job is just to get it here. Peeta Mellark and his missus get to figure that out." If he didn't have the typical Capitol accent I'd have guessed he came from the Seam.

It bugs me to hear Katniss referred to as Peeta's missus. It's almost like she's not her own person, and I know she'd hate that description. But I don't bother to correct them. Instead I look around, peeking into what crates I can.

The one mover's right. It is a lot of baby stuff. I'm guessing someone in the Capitol, maybe President Snow, sent all this. My daughter's going to be the most spoiled child in Twelve.

And that's when it hits me. Mellark, for all that I hate him, will be able to provide for my family better than me. Even with the Mayor's job, money's still tight. Mellark's rich. And what's more, the Capitol likes him. They're already showering him with gifts.

I can barely afford to buy my daughter a doll.

She'll be better off with Mellark. At least here she'll have a full belly, never have to worry about going hungry or having to wear patched and holey clothing. She'll be warm and safe. Mellark will protect her. For Katniss's sake, if nothing else. And Katniss? She doesn't want me. Doesn't need me. She's never needed me. No. They're both better off without me.

Somehow, that realization makes things easier. Lighter. I'm able to make it through my duties without breaking down. I don't have them take much of Katniss's stuff to Mellark's house. Just an extra picture of her father, her dad's hunting jacket, the plant book, and a few clothes. Katniss isn't the type to hold onto things and she hasn't accumulated a lot of stuff. Prim's actually got more personal items than Katniss does: a worn picture book, the tattered remains of what used to be a stuffed animal, a few pressed flowers, a string of wooden beads, and several mud-stained baby clothes.

Which brings up another issue. What to do with Prim's animals? The movers and I have to hastily construct a fence outside the back door of her new house because there isn't a place to keep animals. There's a flower and vegetable garden, but no fence, and I don't think Prim would take kindly to Lady wandering off. Lady takes the move placidly, she's a good goat. Buttercup, on the other hand, is a handful. The cat hisses and spits at anyone who approaches him and finally takes off running through the legs of one of the movers. I chase after him a bit but lose him when he darts through several nearby yards. Stupid animal! Prim can deal with the damned cat when she gets home.

My job complete, I go home. I'm tired even though I didn't really do all that much. I probably should check back in with the Mayor, but I just can't be bothered. I sit in my chair, contemplating what I've got left in my life. I'm eighteen years old and about to become a father, and I feel like the biggest failure.

I feel someone small climb into my lap and look down to see my sister Posy curled up against my chest. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"You looked sad. Are you sad?"

I stroke her glossy black hair. "Yeah baby girl, I am."

"Why?"

"Adult stuff."

She wrinkles her nose. "Adult stuff's boring."

"Not all of it," I say with a chuckle.

"But it makes you sad! If it makes you sad, you shouldn't do it." She says it like it's some kind of proclamation.

"It's not that easy."

"Why not?" She rests her head on my shoulder, looking up at me.

How am I supposed to tell her that I feel like I can't provide for my family? That my whole life is nothing but a giant mess? I settle for a half answer. "I made a mistake, baby girl. And I can't kiss it and make it better."

"Didja make a mistake with Katniss?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Does it have to do with the baby?"

I look at her sharply. When did my baby sister get so astute? "Yeah, it does."

"That's a pretty big mistake," she tells me, nodding her head solemnly. "But I'm sure you'll make it all better! You're a good big brother. It's why you're my favorite."

I wrap my arms around her little body, holding her close. "You're my favorite too."

oOo

That night during Mandatory Viewing they dwell on Katniss's wedding. They show exclusive moments from the wedding reception, including several very forced kisses. I can tell Katniss is extremely uncomfortable throughout the whole thing. She's always been a private person and having her public life exposed like this has got to be hard on her. With every forced kiss I can see a momentary flash of displeasure before she smiles and gives Mellark a peck on the lips. They're definitely not the most romantic kisses I've ever seen. Heck, even the kisses in those horrible Capitol dramas are better.

But Katniss isn't the only one who seems put out. Mellark seems to be growing steadily more and more unhappy as the event goes on. He's doing a good job of hiding it, but if you know what to look for, you can tell he's forcing himself to put on an act.

I find myself feeling sorry for the guy. And that gives me pause. I've been so angry at Mellark for stealing my girl that I've forgotten that he's not the one doing the stealing. The Capitol is. He's just a pawn in their games and worse, Katniss is caught up in them as well. She's probably going to end up hating Mellark. I know I would… am. And that's not really fair to the guy. In fact, this whole marriage thing isn't fair, to either of them.

I believed Katniss when she told me never wanted to get married, even though it did take a while for it to finally sink in. And now the Capitol's forced her to do just that. I can't be worse than the Capitol. She's going to need a friend and she's never trusted people easily. I'm one of the few who's gotten in and despite everything I still want to be a part of her life in any way I can. I can't take this out on her, and if I'm honest with myself, I can't take this out on him either.

My eyes slip back up to the screen. They're showing Katniss and Peeta's first dance. The guy is smiling, but it's not quite reaching his eyes. His eyes reveal his sadness, his disappointment.

No. I can't hate him. It's hard to hate somebody you feel sorry for. And right now, even though Peeta's been proclaimed a Victor, the poor kid's actually a loser.

oOo

The following afternoon finds me dressed in the best of Mayor Undersee's hand-me-down suits. Wearing a long sleeved cotton button down shirt under a wool vest and jacket in the July heat is not my idea of a good time, but I can't back out of this. District Twelve's first Hunger Games Victors in twenty four years are returning home today and everyone of importance needs to be present for the cameras to record this auspicious event. That includes me.

Beside me, Madge looks almost as uncomfortable as I am, shifting back and forth from foot to foot. I know it's not because of the heat. She's wearing a light yellow dress that blows easily in the summer wind. It's got poufy short sleeves and lace around the neck. I sidle up to her. "Did someone forget to use the bathroom?"

She glares at me. "Knock it off, Hawthorne!" she growls. "It's these shoes. They're killing me."

I look down to see that her feet are encased in a pair of white high heeled open toed sandals. "Are you trying to imitate Effie Trinket?" Referring to the stilettos the Capitol woman insists on wearing every year.

"I didn't plan on it!" she wails, leaning on my arm to stand on one foot. "My respect for that woman's gone up a hundred fold! I don't know how she manages it! I'm about ready to cut off my feet if I thought it'd stop the pain."

"That still doesn't explain why you're wearing them."

"They're my mom's, okay?" she answers, shooting me another glare. "That damned cat of Prim's peed on my good pair. I didn't want to walk around smelling of cat piss!"

I'm struggling not to laugh. "How'd he do that?"

"I was wearing them when I went back to Katniss's house to feed that goat of her sister's. The cat saw one of the Capitol movers doing something and sprayed all over me, including my shoes!"

"You wore your good shoes to milk the goat?"

"It made sense at the time! I needed to break them in. They're new, okay?"

I can't keep the laughter in any longer. "And now they've got cat piss all over them."

"Shut up." She punches me in the arm.

I tap her back. "Nah, I think I'll laugh at you a bit more. Takes my mind off the fact that I can now bake bread in my armpits."

She grins at me. "Better not tell Peeta that."

"What, you think he wants to bake armpit bread? I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

We can hear the train coming in the distance. Time to get into our starting positions. I straighten my clothing, moving back to take my place behind and to the left of the Mayor. I see Madge doing the same. She shoots me an encouraging smile that morphs into a grimace.

I chuckle.

The train pulls into the station and I can see Prim waving gleefully out one of the windows. I don't see Katniss or Peeta yet, I'm guessing that they're inside, waiting for the door to open to their adoring public, or at least that's how I assume Caesar Flickerman's describing it to the Capitol audience right now.

And the public is adoring. The crowd in the square cheers wildly, stomping their feet and clapping. It's thanks to these two that they've got more food and supplies to feed their families. For this year, fewer families will have to take out tesserae. Only the most desperate will need to take that chance. For once, my family will not be among them.

The train draws to a halt and a white-clad Peacekeeper leaps forward to open the door. An unsteady Haymitch Abernathy stumbles out of the train, holding up his hands in victory, egging the crowd on. I can't even understand what he's saying, his words are so slurred and unenunciated, but the crowd is eating it up. He deserves this moment. As much as I disrespect the old drunk, he's managed to pull off something that no other mentor has. He's brought home both of his tributes alive.

Mrs. Everdeen steps out next, holding out a hand to Prim. The crowd cheers, shouting Prim's name. The twelve year old, in her pretty blue dress, smiles and blows kisses at the crowd. Now that she's here in person, I can see that the Capitol has done things to her, modified her to fit their version of beauty. It's disgusting. It makes me wonder what they might have done to Katniss or our baby.

As if in answer to my thoughts, Peeta and Katniss come out next. She looks mostly the same, a little more filled out than when she left, but that's not a bad thing. She was dangerously thin before. Emaciated. She looks healthier now and her cheeks don't have that hollowness to them that they used to. Her stomach's protruding more, it looks like she's finally popped. I wonder, if I placed my hand on her belly, if I could feel my daughter move. There's no safe way for me to find out.

The cheers go on and on with Haymitch encouraging them. Finally, the Mayor steps forward and clears his throat.

No one hears him.

He tries again, taking the boxy microphone and tapping it.

The squeal of feedback echoes across the stadium platform, but the Mayor's managed to get everyone's attention. Good. I just want this to be over.

"Peeta Mellark and Primrose Everdeen," Orville begins, "on behalf of all of the citizens of District Twelve, we welcome you home with open arms. We're proud to be the first district in history to have dual Victors. Thank you for showing District Twelve's strength." He goes on to thank the Capitol for being so generous to allow this opportunity and other placating doubletalk.

During the Mayor's speech, I watch Katniss, willing her to notice me. She finally does see me standing next to him and I flash her a quick smile. She doesn't appear as surprised as I thought she would be, I'm guessing someone told her about my new job. I wonder who.

When the Mayor finishes, Haymitch steps forward, belching loudly into the microphone. The crowd laughs. It's during Haymitch's speech that I finally get the opportunity to talk to Katniss.

The mentor's talking about how the only reason he was able to bring back two Victors, is because the people of the Capitol wanted it, and it's thanks to the Capitol's generosity that it's happened. He's echoing the Mayor's words and that tells me more than anything else that there's something else going on. "Is Haymitch for real?"

"Don't underestimate him," Katniss says, her mouth barely moving.

I grunt. "So… how are you?"

She shoots me a look. "I'm fine. Suppose I should be asking you the same question."

"I'm fine too," I say. This is not going the way I'd planned. The conversation's awkward and I'm not really sure what to say. "You look good," I murmur.

"So do you." She gives me a look. "Didn't know you owned a suit."

"It's a hand-me-down from Madge's father."

"Madge?" Katniss asks.

"She's a friend," I say.

"It's good to have friends."

I hazard a glance back over at her. "Yeah. It is." I take a deep breath. "Are we still friends, Katniss?"

Her eyes dart up to meet mine. "I'd like to be."

"I'd like that too," I tell her.

I want to say more but Haymitch's speech comes to an end and I see Peeta stepping up to take his place. "You should go stand beside him," I say, nodding at her husband.

"You're not upset?" she asks, her concern evident in her tone. There's a lot of questions there, more than just the one that's being asked.

There's no way I can answer them all without our exchange getting noticed, so instead I say, "It's just good to have you home, Catnip."

She smiles. She understands. "It's good to be home."

oOo

AN:
Written: 4/30/15
Revised: 5/11/15
Revised 2: 5/14/15
Betaread by RoseFyre

Ugh! This chapter was hell to write. In fact, it likely still wouldn't be written if RoseFyre hadn't volunteered to take dictation for me so I didn't have the problem of staring at the screen willing words to appear on it. Which doesn't work, let me tell you. I tried. And we discovered during the course of our co-write that apparently I can be hella prolific if I can pace or do a latchhook rug or anything else really other than type. So seriously, thank her. This chapter would still be sitting at 400 words written if it weren't for her. She's awesome and I wouldn't be half the writer without her.

So that wraps up Gale's arc. Yes, he backslid for a bit. This is normal. But he's moved on and accepted that he and Katniss aren't going to be romantic. In a very real sense, this was Gale dealing with the five stages of grief. This story was also about redefining his role in the story and that of District Twelve. Changes are a coming and canon is becoming more and more a distant memory.

Finishing this fic also means I can start working on Participant finally. It's going to be 30 chapters long although that may change. In addition, this fic can serve as a series ending if necessary, in case I get hit by a bus or something like that. The plan is for me to work on Participant during Camp NaNoWrimo in July.

I'm still working on "Let Me Fly" a different AU with a core relationship of Gale/Katniss/Peeta with RoseFyre. That fic currently has 15 chapters published (and one side story) and has an additional 15 chapters written (and one side story) with at least 28 more to be written (and one side story). Rose and I have also started on a Modern AU called "Floriography" which should be coming out soon. I'm also going to be starting on an original novel that I've had kicking around for a while. I'm in the world building and character creation phase, there's a very basic outline, but that needs to get fleshed out. The plan there is to work on the novel during regular NaNoWriMo in November. So FanficAllergy's going to be a busy author for a while.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.

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