((A/N: Hello, Sylph here. Being that this is my first fic in a while, I might be a little bit off with updating, but I'm aiming for chapters on Fridays unless I get a lot of writing done. The story begins (and diverges from canon) on the Victory Tour. Enjoy!))

It was somewhere between Districts 9 and 8 that I broke down. The nights had turned into nightmares in the form of new games and arenas and I always wished I could go without sleep. I was trapped on a train speeding past families I helped destroy, forced to speak words of heartfelt promise during the day.

It was somewhere between 7 and 6 that the screaming began. Waking up peacefully was no longer an option when your voice is ripping through your throat. Peeta had said it happened to him, and I knew there was a reason Haymitch slept with a knife in hand to this day.

It was somewhere between 6 and 5 when I heard my own voice screech out a name I said far too many times in panic. Peeta's voice rang out down the train car, and he appeared in the doorway, slightly out of breath, with hair disheveled.

"Are you okay?" Eyes worried, he took a cautious step into the room, keeping a firm hand on the doorframe.

"Nightmare. Sorry for waking you." I didn't realize how tightly the sheets were bunched in my palms until I mutter. Stopping shaking hands was no easy feat.

"It's fine. I get them too." Though I could only see his vague outline in the dark, I knew he was letting out a sigh of relief. "Would it help you if I... Do you want me to stay?" It was easy to tell how cautiously he picked his words. We barely spoke outside of the spotlight, and even then it was simple things such as "Please pass the salt" and "bless you"s traded without eye contact.

I heard Peeta's footsteps as he walked closer, and I moved over in the bed. The mattress creaked slightly under his weight as he shifted uneasily until he was sitting next to me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Shaking my head slowly, I let the nightmare wash over me again, ever detail bright as ever. "I'm just scared is all. It's not important." It wasn't worth worrying him. He was already well aware I was falling apart.

"Don't say that. It's important enough to you." I felt his calloused hand carefully remove the sheet from my grasp and twine his fingers in mine. "C'mon, it'll make you feel better just to get it off your chest."

My eyes drifted away from his. I would rather see anything than look him in the eyes. The rain streaked on the windows, the silk sheets, the chandelier shaking slightly with every bump on the track. Anything but see the hurt and fear in his eyes. "I was back in the arena." I ran my free hand through my hair, finally deciding to stare at our intertwined hands.

"It's always the same. I'm aiming my bow at someone. Rue, Prim, Gale..." You. I wanted to finish it with, but the word was trapped on the tip of my tongue. "...Always someone I need to protect."

"And?"

"And I shoot." My voice is dull with shock as I continue." I shoot, and I see the moment of fear in their eyes as soon as the arrow hits. Always dead on." My hands start shaking again, and I try to blink away tears. "Peeta, I kill them. I hear them screaming, and I wake up and scream just like them. I can't keep this up. I can't keep killing the people I love every time I try to sleep."

Peeta carefully cupped my face in his hand, gently turning my face to his so he could look me in the eyes. "Katniss, I'm sure this will pass as soon as the tour is over, and we can go back home and-"

It was then that I snapped. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks and my words were pained as I choked them out between the beginnings of sobs. "It was you this time! I woke up screaming your name because I thought you died!" I was practically screaming, and forced myself to lower my voice to a whisper. "I can't bear the thought of losing you. I can't."

He studied my face, and I could see through blurred tears the worry in his eyes, the words found frozen in his jaw. He clearly understood what this meant, that he was something more than a cover to save us from Snow. Before I could blink away a single tear, his lips were on mine, sweet and gentle, tentative and cautious. It was a moment of shock before I dared return the kiss, noting how horribly both our hands shook when we parted. "I'll stay with you every night if I have to. I can't bear the thought of losing you either." He placed a light kiss to my forehead before lying back, and I rested my head on his chest.

It was somewhere between districts 6 and 5 that I fell asleep to Peeta's heartbeat, and for the first time in months, dreamed without nightmares.