"Walking Back"

Rick/Daryl

Tags: Rick/Daryl, Major Character Death, except they get better, implied established relationship, Time-travel, Zombies, takes place after S4 E5,

Rick cursed as adjusted his grip on Daryl. They had gotten separated from everyone else. The other man was limping something fierce from a bullet he'd taken in the thigh. Carl had run back to up to the prison when bullets had begun to fly. Rick prayed that he had been able to collect his sister and anyone who had survived the epidemic and fled. Tyreese and the Army doctor—Bob?—had come out to help but both had been gunned down. Rick had yet to see Michonne, he wasn't sure if that was good thing or not as he stared the Governor in the face.

The man never flinched as bullets whizzed past his head and walkers lumbered up to him. Just efficiently dodged and eliminated threats with deadly intent. Daryl continued to lay cover fire as the pair tried to make their way up the prison yard to where there was more cover. Suddenly pain seared across his nerves and he choked at the intense fire now in his chest. He remembered this agony from when he'd been shot more than a year ago, before this apocalypse had started. The two men crumpled, the bullet having passed through Daryl's chest before fragmenting into Rick's. Morbidly, Rick thought that it might have even entered in the same place as that bullet from, what seemed to be, another life.

He turned his head to see Daryl struggling for his last breaths. The man had been loyal to him almost from the start and Rick's foolish inability to eliminate the Governor, to treat him as the threat he was, had gotten his partner killed. Daryl had been the one to take his burdens when Rick had crumpled under the weight of Lori's death. Daryl had been the one to help him heal, to help him be intimate with someone again. Looking at the man who had become like another part of him Rick regretted the decisions he'd made that brought them to this. As his vision faded around the edges and each breath became shallower and shallower his last thought was: "God, if only I had known then what I do now."

Disoriented. Rick concluded as he found himself staring at a white ceiling. That was probably what he was feeling right now. Looking to the left he thought he might be in a hospital.

"Hershel?" He croaked. No answer. He turned his head the other way and his eyes alighted on a familiarly hideous vase. Its gaudy blue faux-china print and withered flowers caused a feeling of dread to settle in the pit of his stomach. This room… it was the same one he'd woken up in when the world had first ended. Somehow he was back at the beginning of this entire apocalypse mess. Gingerly he levered himself out of bed and shuffled over to the en suite bathroom for some water. He opened the blinds and stared out at the ruined world.

Eventually he managed to bring himself to venture out of the quiet sanctuary of his hospital room. He stole the shoes off a nearby corpse and took the dark stairwell down but just before exiting the building he stopped. Except for the walkers barricaded down the hall from his room he hadn't seen any. If the walkers had only recently cleared out there might be some supplies to be scavenged out of the now abandoned hospital. Rick leaned against the wall and considered his situation. He was unarmed in a building that had been overrun at some point. Was the possibility of antibiotics worth the risk? He thought of all of the people in Cell Block A, and decided that yes, it was worth the risk.

He carefully picked his way over to the hospital's pharmacy without coming across any walkers. The pharmacy itself was a mess but it didn't look like it had been raided yet. The only problem was that he didn't have anything to carry the meds in. He ended up emptying a former nurse's overlarge purse and using that instead. Vaguely he recalled Hershel advising Daryl to grab anything with a "-cin" or "-cilin" at the end and found that some of the labels described what they were, like "anti-viral" and "steroid". In the end the purse was bulging with all he'd grabbed as he stepped into the sunlight and turned towards home.

It was depressing, Rick concluded, seeing his home so empty. He tried not to stare at the blank white walls as he methodically changed into some proper clothes and moved the medicine into a larger duffle bag. This had been his home; a symbol of his and Lori's commitment and love. He had confessed to Daryl once, late one night after the Governor had disappeared, how much it had hurt him to enter the camp at the quarry and see Shane and Lori's relationship. The pain of knowing that they had been fucking for a while with just a glance had been agonizing. He had moved on, allowed Lori to settle back at his side and ignored Shane's jealous looks with that pain churning in his stomach. He understood that she had thought him dead but for her to turn around and sleep with another man when he'd only been dead for a few weeks—it said so very much about her loyalty to him. Their marriage had essentially been over the night Shane had died. Even then it had taken six months for Rick to even feel tempted. And, while she probably hadn't cheated on him before the world went to hell, she hadn't seemed to care enough to mourn him for very long either. All of this moved through his mind as he diligently packed away any food that had been left in the pantry and what was left of their toiletries. With that done he tried to think of what else might be useful before he remembered his father's Bluejacket Manual—a sailor's handbook, full of survival tips and knots and other things a sailor might need to know—being in their office. Thinking that it might have some handy information he decided to try and find it before locating Morgan and Duane.

Hidden at the back of the bookshelf he found a sheaf of papers. Rick's knees buckled when he realized that he was holding divorce papers in his hands. His chest ached. Had Lori truly been so unhappy? If at this point she had already given up on their marriage he can understand now why she was so quick to jump into bed with Shane after his proclaimed death. Rick knew that when he met up with the group at the quarry that he could pretend to have never found these papers, that he could do as before and bury the betrayal he felt and try to keep his family together, but he wasn't sure that he was strong enough to carry the burden of knowing their future, leading them all and enduring the pain. His and Lori's separation would be hard on their family but they were strong and maybe Shane wouldn't become as unhinged without Rick as a romantic competitor. He only allowed himself a few moments to grieve the end of their marriage before getting up, gathering his supplies, and leaving his former home forever.

Duane still ended up hitting him over the head with his shovel; and Rick found himself more grateful for them taking him in this time than he had the first time he had lived this life. He now knows what it takes to trust someone in the new world, and the cost of each meal. This time, Rick insisted that the pair went with him to Atlanta. Morgan was reluctant to move on from where his wife's corpse wandered but Rick couldn't live with knowing their fate if he let them stay. Eventually he managed to convince them to join him.

They combined the gas from their cars and got a lot closer to Atlanta but still ran out before making it into the city. Morgan told Rick to go ahead and find the refugee camp. The road was empty and open so the pair would be fine until he could come back for them with another car or more people to help carry the supplies. Rick was leery about leaving them alone but he knew that there was no way all three of them would survive the masses of walkers in the city itself.

Despite his best effort to not repeat his mistakes he still found himself driving out of Atlanta without Merle Dixon. On one hand Rick had to admit that he was glad Merle wasn't with them. The Daryl of this time would never open up and realize his own strength with Merle around to constantly belittle him. On the other hand, he felt like he was betraying his Daryl by leaving his brother to fend for himself. At least the addict hadn't been left chained to the roof this time. There was no reason to return to Atlanta and Rick knew he had to do something to help Guillermo and the Vatos before a group came through and killed them. Maybe he could convince everyone to go back into Atlanta for some of the much needed melee weapons?

Rick had employed the same tactic as before to escape the city, telling Glenn about Morgan and allowing him to flash by in his hotrod red sports car. Morgan had the car alarm disengaged before Rick had pulled up in the box van. They transferred the gas from the sports car into Morgan's hatchback and grabbed the battery and anything else that might be useful before abandoning it across the open lane of the Highway with a sign warning travelers away from the city. Morales drove the van while Rick followed him. Glenn spent the first part of the drive watching the red car diminish into the distance while sighing despondently. Rick had forgotten how young and immature the former pizza boy had been at the start of all this and the dramatics earned him a chuckle. The camp was a raucous cheer of activity when they pulled up and everyone began to seek out their family members. He was happy to see them all healthy, whole, and together.

"DAD!" He heard his son cry and seeing Carl, still so young and innocent, took his breath away. Rick collapsed to his knees, clutched at his son and took comfort in the familiar feel of Lori's arms around him. The reunion was ruined when he caught the speaking glance between Lori and Shane. When he averted his gaze away it landed on someone he didn't expect to see. Daryl. Not only was he in camp when he should have been hunting, but there was recognition in his eyes. He knew Rick. The redneck chuckled at seeing his surprise.

"What'd ya do ta earn this fresh Hell?" He asked, familiar wry grin on his lips. Rick just laughed and clutched his son tighter. It was his Daryl, the same one who had had his back for two years, who had walked away from his brother for him, died with him. That's when Rick knew that it would all be alright. Rick knew they would survive this because he had Daryl at his side and the pair of them; they could do anything.