A/N: Deeply sorry for not posting anything for a while. Rest assured, I have been working, it's just that I can't write anything from the main computer. I have a limited amount of time. In two weeks, I can continue writing and posting. Have an excellent day, everyone!
Superman Vs. Pokemon 2: Things Get Worse
by MiscellaneousSoup
The Justice League Watchtower, Moon
It is the afternoon. Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and various other members file into the meeting room. Superman sits at the head of the table.
Batman coughed. "We all know of the unfortunate events of last month. Rest assured, Superman has been enrolled in several anger management courses, as well as a beginner's guide to Pokemon games."
Superman raised his hand. "Don't worry, everyone. I feel much better. In fact, I think I'm ready to play another round-"
"NO!" Instantly, everyone leaped onto the table and clamored for the game. Hawkman and the Flash started smashing Superman's head into the table.
Batman snapped his fingers. "Wally, Carter. Stop. We agreed that spraying him with a water bottle would suffice. Wonder Woman? Lasso."
Grinning, Wonder Woman pulled out her magic lasso and tied Superman up. "Okay, Clark. How calm do you feel right now?"
Superman's eye twitched. "I feel very calm, Diana." He started to scratch his forehead.
Diana tugged on the rope. "I should rephrase my question. If you started playing the Pokemon game, how calm would you be?"
Superman's eye twitched again. Slowly, he breathed in and out, like a yoga teacher. "I would...I would go through the whole game and be happy, even if I'm losing. NO!" He grabbed the rope and threw it over to Diana. "NO! NO! I. Would. NOT! The game is hard, confusing, and the sidequests are impossible!"
The Flash sprayed him with a water bottle. Superman grabbed the bottle away and tore it open with his teeth. "DIE, MAGIKARP! You. Are. A. Useless. Starter! I WANT A BULBASAUUUUUUURRRRR!"
Veins bulged. Sweat puddled up like a burst of rain. One eye was permanently locked in a twitch. He started shooting eye beams across the room. Wonder Woman started toward him, ready to knock him out.
Trainer Superman runs around in the forest! He spots a wild Wonder Woman! Attack! Superman used up-to-eleven heat vision! Wonder Woman's head exploded! Superman wins! Da-da-da-da!
"NO!" Batman yelled. He scrambled around for some hidden Kryptonite, but Superman was too fast.
Trainer Superman spots a wild Batman! Superman used back break! Superman wins through comic trivia-related irony! Da-da-da-DA!
"YYESSSSSS!" The Man Of Steel bellowed. "I am finally beating the game! Take THAT, Gary!"
Superman spots a wild Flash! Superman uses freezing breath! Flash was paralyzed. He tries to use Recover. It is ineffectual. Superman uses "break the ice, shattering Flash's body." Flash fainted. Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
A wild Zatanna appears! Her magic cuts Superman's endurance. Superman uses neck snap. Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
Superman spots a wild Martian Manhunter! Superman uses heat vision! Martian Manhunter's head also explodes! Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
The gory rampage went on and on, with Superman showing no sign of stopping. To him, everything seemed like a Pokemon game, and everything must be destroyed!
Superman spotted a wild Daily Planet building! Superman uses Strength! The building is destroyed. Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
A wild Jimmy Olsen appears! Superman uses Karate Chop! Jimmy's body is sliced in two! Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
A wild Lois Lane appeared! Superman uses Pound! Lois Lane is now a pancake! Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
For hours upon hours, he rampaged throughout the planet, killing everything in his sight! Could anything stop the Murderer Of Tomorrow? Wait, a figure approached Superman!
"Hello." Mystery Trainer says. "I challenge you!"
Superman has been challenged by...1960s Batman! Superman uses heat vision! 1960s Batman calmly holds up a mirror! Superman uses Mega Punch! 1960s Batman does the Batusi! Superman grows angry! He uses Tackle! 1960s Batman uses Bat Shark Repellent! Superman grows annoyed and angry! He uses Fire Punch! 1960s Batman dodges and uses Superman-Eradicator Beam! 1960s Batman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
Happily, 1960s Batman started doing the Batusi! The corpses of those who died magically became alive again and danced with him! All hail the Batusi! All hail 1960s Batman! He is the winner!
Congratulations, 1960s Batman! You have become the ultimate champion of Pokemon: Metropolis Version! Roll credits!
Produced by John Smith
Written by the John Smith Corporation
…
Superman slammed the laptop down in disgust. "Really? You actually think that I'm going to do that?"
Dr. Spaceman nodded. "As the United State's surgeon general, I can confidently say that this homemade video is a loose interpretation of what you may do."
Veins pulsed in Superman's neck. "You lie! I will kill you!" His eyes glowed red.
Dr. Spaceman blinked nervously. "Oh, crud!"
Superman spotted a wild Dr. Spaceman! Superman used Heat Wave! Dr. Spaceman was roasted! Superman wins! Da-da-da-DA!
The End?