Fresh Start at Life

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 1 (Burning Bridges and Building Hope)

"Come on." Trina stammered breathlessly in her darkened bedroom, her face lit only by the luminescence radiating from the laptop. The sound of her fingers moving fervently over the keys filled the air around her. "Come on, please." She tapped the side of the computer and waited with baited breath as the screen refreshed to show the community college webadvisor page.

Final Transcript received by University.

"Yes!" She slapped her hand over her mouth, gasping softly as her eyes flew to the door. She'd received her Associates Degree and was well on her way to getting to her University of choice. Satisfied, she moved her fingers back to the keyboard and typed her university in the address bar.

Midwestern State University

She could hardly contain her excitement, she was all set to start her classes in the fall semester. When she logged in to the Midwestern Portal, she prided herself over her choice of major. History with a minor in Criminal Justice. All of her courses were set and paid for, so there was nothing to worry about.

Her family was expecting that she'd be going to a different college-somewhere up in New York or New Jersey. Midwestern was in Wichita Falls, Texas. Her parents didn't care where she went, and her dad simply put the money in a bank account designated for her college expenses. He didn't bother to ask about it-only asking how much it was going to cost and put it in. The only interest he ever took in her college was to tell her she should go into medicine like her mother.

She hated nursing. There was absolutely no sense in her going into the field just because it 'earns money'. To think, that was his least offense. The greater source of conflict was with her sister, though. She found it ironic how quickly things changed the minute that girl hit Hollywood Arts-but those days were history now.

All that mattered to her, all she could see was Midwestern and the goals she had ahead for her life. No more abuse, whether verbal or physical, no more being controlled or told what to do or how to act. She was a grown woman for Christ's sake! She deserved to live her fucking life without being pushed around and told how wrong her every thought was!

She was done now, all she had to do was gather her things together and get ready to move into her apartment on the campus. For the first year she'd have to pay out of state fees, but that was perfectly fine. She could find a suitable job somewhere and deal with any extra expenses if she had to.

In this case, it was necessary to plan for the possibility that her mother would figure out eventually that she wasn't going to college to be a nurse and would cut her off financially-as she so threatened to do-so she had already applied for scholarships, grants, and was fully prepared to take out student loans in the future if need be. Hell, if she could be granted a full ride, it would be amazing.

It was necessary to expect the worst and plan for the worst.

To the naked eye, the uninvolved, it looked like another case of jealousy. Maybe that's what it was, but everyone only saw the surface. They saw her feeling shunted by her sister's rise and popularity, they saw her insulted by her sister's friends, but that was such a small issue that if it were the only issue, Trina wouldn't have to make her escape in such a way.

No, the situation was more dreadful than anyone saw. Even the counselor at the community college told her that she needed to find an environment healthier for her-to get away from her family. Now. Family did not just apply to immediate relatives. It was her rich, high-and-might aunts and uncles, her perfectly happy and successful cousins. It was her abrasive and violent grandfather and her grandmother that allowed the crotchety old man to 'speak his opinion' Of course, opinion meant his opinion was 100% right and nobody else should have a solid thought in their mind because they wouldn't know what the fuck they were talking about.

It was her absentee father who didn't give a rats ass about her over his goddamn judgmental wife that had to stick her nose in everything or his greatest pride and joy-Victoria.

Tori didn't even belong to him. No, Trina was his biological daughter, his only daughter. Her mother, her real mother passed away a long time ago. He remarried to the ex-wife of his best friend, who just so happened, to still be fucking her every other weekend! It was only fair, wasn't it? Tori was her step-sister, after all, and David seemed to prefer his step family as opposed to his blood-so Trina was going to let him have them.

She'd still be in communication-though her guidance counselor warned her against it, especially considering what she was willing to do.

"Just be sure it's what you want," the raven haired woman stated softly while clutching her clipboard in between her fingers. Trina pressed her lips together and moved a tissue to her eyes.

"Things got to a point I tried to stay with my grandparents. Grandpa ended up shouting at me over something so trivial-"

"What was it?"

"I don't know, some food." Trina took a deep breath and tossed her tissue into the nearest wastebasket. Her chest grew tense and her eyes heavy. "Tried to talk to my aunt about it but all she wanted to say was 'maybe you should listen to your grandpa more.'" She let out a loud scoffing chuckle and threw her hands into the air. "Right! Listen to the old buzzard that used to shove me around when I was younger and push me into counters because I didn't agree with him." Trina pat her hand on her knee and glared into the woman's eyes. "Do I want to leave my family behind? Yes, I do."

"If you burn bridges away, they may never be repaired."

"I want a goddamn life!" Trina moved her hands to her chest, screaming at the top of her lungs, unaware the woman was only trying to help. She understood what she was saying, but she honestly didn't care. "I want to be happy for once. I'm sick of being pushed around, sick of not being able to talk to my own family about how I feel without being told I'm stupid or ungrateful for feeling the way I do…I don't give a shit if I talk to these people again. I want a life for myself."

"Okay." The woman smiled gently and wrote something down on the clipboard. Trina's gaze fell onto the moving pen and her lip trembled nervously. "Just keep in mind, it's going to be hard for you to just leave them. You may find yourself missing them, and if you plan to keep in contact like you say you are…"

"Well it's not like I have choice. Once I'm out of college, once I've got a career set for myself, I'll be ready one hundred percent to cut them off."

"I can't advise you to burn that bridge and I can't advise you against it. Only you can do what you feel is right-what I can do is tell you what I think. I think you need to be in an environment where emotionally, physically and mentally you are in a better position health wise. You need to be where you feel you're safe, with people you feel you can trust, and away from an abusive environment."

"Mom-or should I say Holly-tells me I should just suck it up and take what's dealt to me."

The therapist wagged her pen in the air, moving it in a circle and pointing to Trina. "You don't have to accept abuse, Trina. You don't have to accept any situation that makes you feel unsafe. Do what's best for yourself, but also do it with a grain of salt. Don't do something spontaneous, give it thought."

"I've given it plenty of thought. I've already been accepted to Midwestern, I just have to send them the final transcript and move in to the Sunwatcher Apartments on campus."

"Then that's what you need to do. It's away from the unhealthy environment, it's likely safer. Will you be able to find a counselor on campus?"

"I should be able to."

"All right, I hope you will pursue counseling." Trina smiled back at her and nodded rather abruptly. She was going to do her best to look for a counselor, because at the very least, she would still need some guidance.

"I'll look around. I think there's plenty of counselors there-including some psychologists. Though I don't think I'm that screwed up…"

It was never her intention to burn bridges-it was her whole intention to give herself a fresh, clean start in life, and Midwestern State University was going to be that bit of solid ground she could gain her footing in. Wherever she went after this, she didn't know, but she was willing to go wherever the world was willing to take her.

"Trina?" Trina instantly closed her laptop and flew under the covers as her bedroom door opened up. Tori's voice drifted through the air, falling onto her like soft silk. "Are you still awake? I thought I heard something. I was hoping you'd give me your opinion about something."

She wanted to answer, but was skeptical of the girl's intentions. Tori almost never came to her unless she needed something. Anytime she tried to start a conversation with her, she was ignored.

After a few minutes of silence, Tori took a deep breath and moved her hand to her hip. "I guess you're asleep then, I'll ask Jade tomorrow. It wasn't all that important, just something about a song I wanted to sing. By the way, I'm going to take a shower first thing, the water heater's on the fritz, so we won't have a lot of water tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes and pulled the covers up further, burying her face into the blanket. Knowing Tori usually took thirty minute showers, she didn't have to guess she would be showering in cold water if she wanted a shower. It was pretty rare for anyone in this family, immediate or extended, to think of anything but their own luxuries. It disgusted her.

"Goodnight, Trina. Talk to you tomorrow." The hallway light disappeared as the bedroom door clicked shut. Trina sat up with a start, folding her hands over the blanket and turning her narrow eyes onto the door. Her features sank and her shoulders sloped downwards.

"Yeah, talk to you tomorrow." She sneered and closed her eyes, feeling the stab of pain in her heart. "I won't need to explain myself, it isn't like anyone in this family would understand where I'm coming from."

Within the week, she was packed and ready to go. Her father was the only one to see her off to the airport, but he drove in a strong silence. Every so often, she'd catch him glancing over at her, only to see him look away.

They stopped before the terminal and gave her a brisk hug. "I don't know why they're making you board another plane in Texas, but I suppose you'll be fine."

"Yeah." She smiled one last time at him and took a step back when the stewardess announced the fight beginning to take off. "You uh, have fun with Tori and Holly."

"She's your mom too," David stated softly.

"Step-mom, Dad. And besides, if she were that much of a mother-she'd be here to see her daughter off."

"Trina, now that's not fair." David lifted his hand up and Trina shrugged. His eyes closed and a heavy sigh fell from his lips. "Let's not argue now, okay?"

"Nobody's arguing except you. Goodbye, Dad."

"Trina."

She turned away and hurried onto the plane where she was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people on board. Her nerves poked her like millions of tiny needles. All sorts of sounds surrounded her as she walked to her seat, whether it was a baby crying out or an old couple laughing over some stupid piece of technology.

Once at her seat, she gazed out the window to see her father watching the plane. His brow was furrowed and frown lines had formed at the corners of his mouth. She moved her hand to the window and leaned forward, feeling a heaviness descending upon her eyes.

For a split second she almost contemplated running off the plane and into his arms. Her heart began to race as she studied his forlorn expression. His eyes locked with hers and his eyebrows rose, but before anything could happen, he looked down to where his phone had been on his hip.

Perplexed, she leaned back and moved her eyebrows together. He promised her he was going to keep the phone off so he wouldn't answer if Holly or Tori called about something. When he walked away, the phone glued to his ear, she remembered her mission.

This was about her, her legacy and betterment of her life. Trina crossed her arms as the stewardess announced take-off. Reclining back in her chair, the words of her relatives haunted her-poisoning her mind.

"Of course I know better than you!" Her grandfather, George taunted, "I'm eighty years old! You're just a young girl that doesn't understand the world."

"Just cut your granddad some slack," Aunt Dina rolled her eyes and waved her hand through the air. "Your grandparents have done a lot for you. Remember when you had that karate tournament and your parents couldn't make it? Who was there for you? Your grandpa."

"Don't be ungrateful," Grandma Rose wagged her finger at her, "He's been good to you too. You should also be thankful you have a mother and father to go home to, a roof over your head. When I was young, I didn't have that luxury."

"Just do as I say," Holly spoke sternly, "I know what's best. So does your father. Do you know he does everything for you? All you do is complain that he's never there for you, so quit acting like an undeserving brat for once. You know, you're the one causing all the problems in this family."

"I'm busy," David muttered as Trina attempted to present something she'd found that reminded her of her time with him when she was just a young child. "I don't have time to go over this. Maybe another time…I'm sorry, Trina."

"You could spend less time complaining about mom and dad," Tori said while applying some makeup to her face before some big audition she was going to. "It's a two way street."

"So I should just ignore the fact that they never have any time for me and keep doing what I'm doing, which is trying to be a part of their lives?"

"Look Trina, just…I don't know what to tell you. The more you complain, I guess the less they want to be involved in your life."

"Oh, thanks." Tori snapped her head up and looked over her shoulder, calling out as Trina proceeded to leave the room.

"I didn't mean it like that!"

Riding the taxicab down Midwestern Parkway, Trina's eyes widened in awe as they came upon Louis J. Rodriquez Drive. Her heartbeat pounded in her chest and her sweaty fingers embraced the door handle as eagerness and excitement swelled her heart.

"Finally." They turned onto Louis J. Rodriquez Drive, and soon, the emblem of hope and opportunity was within reach. Her breath fell from her lips as the driver stopped before the housing entrance for the Sunwatcher Apartments on the corner of the street.

Peering across the street, she was enamored with all the large, brown buildings. In the distance, there was a dorm-the McCullogh-Trgg dormitory that faced her from the left as well as facing a large parking lot. She knew the Killingsworth Dormitory was on the other side of that-and it was where all the freshmen and sophomores stayed.

In her case, because she had an Associates and considered to be of the Junior level, she was able to snag the apartments. Also across the street from her was a curvy and red paved walkway that led to patch of grass and another building ahead from her.

The Clark Student Center.

She would have more time to explore the campus later, however. Her attention was quickly snapped away when the taxi driver honked his horn and waved at her. "Ma'am, would you like help with your bags?"

"No thanks, I'm fine." She couldn't carry them all herself, but she was told by the people at Sunwatcher that the RAs there would be more than willing to help her move in. There were other people around her who had their families helping them to move, for a moment it made her sad to think that she was alone-despite it being for the best.

Trina turned to the doors and moved her hand up to the back of her head, scratching gently as she studied the large white doors. "This is it," she remarked under her breath. "The start of the rest of my life."

There is a bit of a personal reason as to why Holly and Tori are Trina's step family. It is not some random decision I decided to do. Enjoy!