For whatever reason, I absolutely adored writing Axel to the point I'm leaving this open. Please read and review.

Doomed on Arrival

I will be the very first to admit I am a major fuckin' dork.

This is why I have never had a date and why I'm pounding on my best friend's door at three in the morning.

I shiver in the cold, trying to will Roxas into appearing in front of me while I knock and look around nervously. With my luck, Xion is right around the corner and trying to sleep and about to ask me what the hell I'm doing. Or a zombie. I'm not sure which one I'd prefer, the girl or the flesh eating monster at this point.

Maybe this is part of the reason I've never had a date. My attitude.

"Roxas, c'mon, I know you're not sleeping in there!" I mutter darkly to the unopening door, glancing around to check one last time that my lady love wasn't there.

Oh god. Don't let her hear me call her that. I'd get the stuffing beat out of me faster than I could say turkey or be laughed at so hard that the entire village would join in. Knowing Xion like I do, it'd be both. She's tenacious like that.

Maybe that's part of the reason I like her so much. That and her… Whoa, brain, don't go there. It's only the first date!

As I raise my hand to give it one last hard knock before admitting defeat and going to go cry in my house for twenty minutes, Roxas rips the door open and glares at me. It takes me about five seconds to realize that one, he's not wearing a shirt and two, there's the sleepy silhouette of a girl on the couch in here with him.

Aw, man, I knew I came to the right place! He's gotta know something about romance, right?

"Axel-" The blond starts to say, quietly warning me that I was about to get my ass beat.

"I have kinda have a date with Xion and I need your help." I blurt out, freezing the minute that I realize I just spilled out the entire problem. He blinks at me before this big teasing grin crosses his lips and he starts laughing.

I stand there in the doorway and wait for him to stop.

You see, there's a reason why he's laughing.

We grew up together and there's no other person on the planet (except Xion and his girlfriend, Naminé) that knows to the extent of my dorkihood. He was there when we went trick or treating and I went as a goblin from an old fantasy series that no one remembers. He was the barbarian in most of my Dungeon and Dragons games, actually. I am a damn good Game Master and we both ended up knowing a hell of a lot of strategy because of it.

We both claim that it's why we're still alive and the football captain got ripped apart at his high school.

Roxas was also there when I struck out with all the girls I've even talked to. He was there when I had a case of acne so bad that I ended up getting labeled as an alien. He was there when I had glasses and before my laser surgery. He knows all the bad TV shows I was a fan of and the fact that I've had a crush on Xion since before she was legal.

Zombie apocalypse, sure, but it was still illegal for me to ask her out before she turned eighteen.

With that big grin and uncontrollable laugh, Roxas lets me in and then promptly falls to the ground in hysterics the moment he closes the door. "Did… did you ask her by the power of Greyskull?" He asks finally before erupting back into giggles.

I glare at him, not wanting him to ever mention that again.

The day we met Xion, I'd had a sword stolen from one of our neighbors' houses. I don't know where she got it from but apparently, it was a really good sword. And yes, I will admit, the minute I killed a zombie with it, the line from He-Man might have slipped out of my mouth.

"No, Roxas," I spit out slowly, grinding my teeth as he keeps giggling. "I didn't ask her by the power of Greyskull."

It wasn't funny. Seriously, wasn't. She's one of the biggest and singlest babes in the village and I don't want her to end up with someone like Saïx just because of breeding purposes.

After a few minutes, he finally manages to stop laughing long enough to get off the floor and back to his girlfriend. "Nami?" I hear him whisper to her. A little sleepy moan and a quick glance into the living room makes me realize that not only was she also not wearing real clothes, she had Roxas' shirt on.

Geez, what had they been doing?

"Tiger, what's going on?" She mumbles back before glancing over at me. Blinking once, Naminé turns red before pulling up a blanket and covering herself. "Axel? Wh-what are you doing here?" She asks curiously.

"Tiger?" I ask before turning to Roxas with a frown. "Since when are you Spiderman?" I demand before shaking my head and sighing.

He was the farthest thing from a bad-looking dork that I had ever seen; Roxas was damn hot if you really thought about it. No homo.

Roxas flinches and turns red before turning back to his girlfriend. "Nami, Axel here is asking for dating advice," He says in a singsong voice. That little rat bastard! She turns back and openly gapes at me, her big blue eyes totally full of awe and surprise that I, Axel, had gotten a date.

"Nooo." She breathes out softly, no trace of sarcasm included.

And that's when it's my cue to leave. I turn around and go for the door, blushing like a five year old and feeling like an absolute idiot for asking for help.

"No, wait, come back, I'm sorry!" Naminé cries out before I hear her jump off of the couch and scurry to me.

She grabs my hand and I whip around to see the biggest pair of blue eyes and a huge smile beaming at me in pride. I turn redder and allow the girl to pull me toward the couch.

"I'm so happy! Is it Xion? I bet it's Xion," She muses cheerfully, suddenly now completely awake. Damn, whatever they give this girl in the mess hall, I need some of it. I take a seat on the floor, not willing to sit in whatever… er… mess that these two had made.

"Of course it's Xion, who else would be willing to talk to Axel?" Roxas jumps in, flashing me a grin when I turn to glare at him. He raises a finger and waggles it, mocking me before I have a chance to snark back. "Besides… Axel, what'd you have in mind for the date?"

That was a good question, I'll admit.

I run my fingers through my hair nervously, a bad habit left over from the days I'd had it short and not so… er, good looking I guess. "Um… I was gonna take her on a walk on the beac-" I start to say.

"NO!" Both of them snap in unison, making me flinch and stare at them. Geez! Now they were doing stuff in unison?

Naminé shakes her head and smiles. "That's a really nice idea, Axel," She starts to say, patting my hand like I was a child in need of her all powerful wisdom. Even so, I still glare at her condescending little self, purposely making it look like I was about to smack her. "But the beach is closed right now because of all the zombie attacks." She explains with a sudden uncomfortable smile.

Oh. Uh… zombie attacks would make it a really shitty date, huh.

"T… okay, thanks," I mutter, looking away and staring at a spot on the wall somewhere. Now what am I supposed to do? That was my only idea!

"Axel, you love this woman, right?" Roxas asks curiously.

"Yes," I grind out, already wincing at the quote. When this guy starts whipping out quotes, it's a serious thing or he's making fun of me. Probably both.

"You wanna hold her?" He demands again, grinning as I flinch and nod.

Turning red, I growl: "YES!"

"Please her?"

"YES, ALREADY, YOU LITTLE-!" I shout, getting up to strangle his little blond ass and prevent his stupidity from passing onto the next generation. But he just dodges my hand and finishes the quote with hysterical laughter.

"Then ya gotta, gotta try a little TENDERNESS! Chicks love that romantic crap!" Roxas practically sings out the line, making Naminé laugh and look at him like he's the coolest thing since sliced bread. I hate him so much. He's charming even when he's being a complete ass. Luckily for me, I'm much more mature than this.

I put my hands on my hips and pout. "Then what am I supposed to do?" I demand before falling back onto the floor and folding my arms over my chest. "I don't even have anything else we could do except for maybe walking around the village."

Roxas and Naminé stare at me like I was the biggest idiot in the entire world. "What about a picnic? Girls love picnics." Roxas says after a moment of thinking.

"You guys went on a picnic for your first date?" I ask with a chuckle.

Naminé blushes and shakes her head shyly. "Nope, we went on a walk on the beach," She clarifies with that same cute smile. Roxas slips his hand into hers and they start doing that weird couple cuddling thing where they completely forget that there's another person in the room with them.

Hey, wait a minute!

"And you guys were laughing at me for suggesting it?!" I snap, getting up to leave. Roxas and Naminé both grab me and haul my ass back onto the floor, making me nearly bust my head open on the edge of the couch when I slam into it.

"First off, when we had our first date, I was fifteen," Roxas declares haughtily. "Second off, you're in your twenties and should have a better idea of what women like."

"And you know I don't, which is why I came here to ask you for help!" I retort angrily, reluctantly taking my spot back and lying down. Adverting my eyes so I don't accidentally look up Naminé's skirt or something, I groan. "I really like her. I don't want to mess this stuff up." I admit softly.

She starts looking at me as if I'm a sweet adorable puppy covered in honey and she just wants to pick me up and cuddle me. "Awwwwww…" Naminé squeals before tackling me and giving me a big hug. "I'll help you."

Roxas raises an eyebrow and grins. "First off, wear that green shirt you hate so much," He commands. I glare at him, but the cuddling of his girlfriend is a little too weird for me to put much hate behind it. "It really brings out your eyes," Naminé agrees before getting off of me and going for her art bag.

"I am not one of your projects!" I jump in but the girl was already lost in thought and sketching out ideas for me to look over in – "And I don't think I can take her hang-gliding!" I protest as I see the beginning of said date start appearing under her pencil.

To her credit, Naminé only pauses a minute before carefully scratching out the idea.

Roxas smirks before patting my shoulder. "Don't worry about it," He declares with a big grin. "I know exactly where you guys should go! There's this old building in the business district, no zombies guaranteed…"

I was going to strangle Roxas. No zombies, my ass!

I glance back down at Xion, watching her for a moment before giving her a sheepish grin. "Uh, out the window?" I ask curiously, praying with everything I had that she hadn't heard that squeal.

A small, mischievous smile plays on her lips as she looks back at me, instantly melting my heart and making me fall that much more in love with her. Damn, she was cute.

"Out the window, Axella," Xion agrees before turning around and popping the window out of its frame. Wait, what?! Xion! Before I can snark back at her or at least protest a little because I had almost died when I did that noise, she was already climbing out the window and I get the very nice view of her…

Whoa. She… really was wearing a dress under the cloak. And it was a mini-dress! Score!

"Uh… Xi… on? You're… That's… uh… that is a very short dress." I tell her behind, struggling not to have a nosebleed and/or try to tackle her. And it was. Black and red, barely came up to her knees when she was standing up.

She doesn't even look back when she responds. "Not the time, Axel." Xion calls back before crawling out on the ledge of the building and making room for me to come out after her.

Oh, if this was a bad joke or karma for me just wanting one damn date with her, then someone upstairs was playing a really really fucked up game with me. I mean, me and Xion on a ledge, all alone… with zombies.

Crap, crap, that's right, there's monsters here! Dammit!

"R-right, I'll look away now." I breathe out as I avert my eyes. Even so, I start blushing that much harder, only to stop when there was a cracking noise behind me from the door. Turning around, I can see another one had managed to get through.

I jump onto the windowsill and slip out, following Xion onto the ledge of the building. We look down the side together, each one not quite willing to say that the four-story drop would probably kill us both if we tried jumping. Nope, would definitely kill us.

After a moment or two of looking down, I look up to the rooftop and curse like a motherfucker.

Xion blinks and looks at me in confusion, barely having enough time to look at me before I start ranting.

"Dammit! Now how the hell are we supposed to have our picnic?" I growl, looking up at the rooftop where Roxas and I had hidden the picnic basket. Xion stares at me like I was an idiot or maybe because she thought… aw hell no, I wasn't going to kill her with my cooking! I glare at her and shake my head. "First off, Naminé and Roxas helped me so don't you start saying that we would have gotten food poisoning." I protest, growling.

She glances at me for a second before covering her mouth and laughing hysterically as I keep cursing viciously at those motherfucking zombies for messing up everything. Even when she tries to cover it up, I can still see her shoulders shaking and her entire body trembling so hard that it's almost like she's about to fall off the ledge.

I soften, sighing softly under my breath. At least I can always make Xion laugh. At least no one can take that away from me.

I look up and notice that the sun is starting to set. What a way to end a crappy date.

She keeps smiling even as the giggles slowly fade away. A content look appears on her face, softening her normally solemn expression into one of pure bliss and serenity. Dammit. Why does she have to be so cute? I hear myself sigh again and before I know what I'm doing, I sit down next to her and wrap an arm around her shoulder.

Aw, crap, what am I doing? I look at her for a moment, fully expecting her to pull away and start teasing me for being a sap. But… she doesn't move away. All she does is briefly close her eyes, like she was enjoying me holding her.

Might as well go for broke.

Carefully, I pull her into me as we watch the sun set in the distance. Her head leans against my chest and I start praying that she can't hear my heartbeat do the mambo. The warmth of the sun and the warmth of Xion in my arms is enough to make me feel like I wasn't about to be eaten. I mean, c'mon. God's not going to take this from me, right?

I watch her secretly, watching as the sun bathes her face in golden light. There's this little smile on her face, one that makes me want to jump and start dancing cause I'm the one who put it there.

It feels good, sitting here with her… even if there's zombies right by us. Thank god they're stupid. They're not going to come out here. Lucky me… I get to enjoy this a little longer.

Her hand suddenly touches mine and all thoughts stop. Her index finger curls around mine, playing with it in a lazy way that makes me know Xion's not even thinking about it. Is she…? She's totally holding my hand! I close my eyes, hoping that she doesn't stop and that she doesn't notice I'm enjoying it so much. It feels good, feels right even. Like her hand was built to fit around mine like this. Damn, I want to hold her hand so bad.

I lean into her, putting my head against hers for a moment as we watch the sunset. Sitting here with the girl of my dreams, zombies on our backs and the sun in front of us, Roxas on his way, I can really only think one thing beyond how lucky I am to have Xion here by my side. Besides all the sappy stuff about how this is the first day of the rest of our lives and won't this be a great story to tell one day, I'm only thinking one thing.

The damn sun's a better wingman than Roxas will ever be.

That asshole.

As we sit there, I suddenly feel a vibration in my back pocket. Uh… okay, I know for a fact that wasn't me. Xion looks up at me, a dreamy expression in her eyes that immediately makes me want to go find a bed and tackle her onto it.

"Axe?" She murmurs softly, instantly making my heart beat jump up to a thousand. Xion nuzzles into me, chuckling as her free hand suddenly touches my ass. Holy-! Xion, I didn't know you were into that… I turn red before the touch stops and I feel the sudden loss of something. Xion holds up my phone and flips it open, checking the text message.

Oh. Uh… alright then. I was totally wrong. She was getting my phone.

'So uh, you know that building we sent you to? Turns out it's super infested.'

Oh thanks, Roxas. I had no idea.

Xion grins at me as I snatch the phone out of her hand and start cursing the little blond shit out via text.

'Hey! Cut that shit out! I'm already at the building!' Roxas snaps back, somehow managing to sound just as snarky via text as usual. 'What side are you guys on?'

"West, right?" Xion asks curiously and I text the message back.

I nod and slip the phone back into my pocket, taking a quick look under us. Alright, so there's a… one story equals ten feet… forty foot drop before us. I have one rope in my pocket that's maybe twenty feet. Human body can survive a fall of twenty feet but the same fall can rupture organs.

I turn to Xion and flash her a smile. She looks over at me, eyebrow already raising to show me that she was aware of my plotting. It's never good when I plot in fact.

I lean in anyway, putting my forehead against hers. Before I even realize how much of a sap I was, I'm already stroking her cheek. "Do you trust me?" I ask her curiously. She looks at me as if I was an idiot but smile.

Her hand wraps around mine again and I grin at her.

"Axel, you're being an ass. If you've got a plan, then let's go already," Xion declares before smacking my head with hers, damn near headbutting me off of the building. I turn red and then open my arms widely. As usual, she wraps her arms around my neck and presses her face against my chest.

Damn, this feels even more awesome than usual.

"Here we go then!" I tell her before dropping backwards off of the building.

As usual, Xion says nothing and just hangs onto me as we tumble down. The wind blows against our clothes and hair, damn near tearing her off of me as we fall. Alright, I've done this too many damn times. I throw out the rope and somehow manage to catch the edge of a window with the little hook attached to the end of the line.

Awesome!

I clamber up it, thanking God that I was no longer that little nerd that could barely do a push up. Man, I'm glad I work out. It helps out a lot in life or death situations.

"You could have tied the fucking thing to something!" Xion snarls into my chest but I'm too busy being awesome and saving her life to snark back yet. "You're so damn reckless!"

"Hey, that's one of my better qualities," I laugh as I pull us onto the ledge on this floor, carefully pulling her up next to me. Xion shivers violently, somehow managing to not throw up all over the ledge as she crawls onto it. "Besides… that's what you like about me." I tease playfully.

She doesn't answer me. Uh... Xion...?

After about five seconds, Xion turns bright red. Is... is she blushing? "Your smile," She admits after I openly gape at her in shock from seeing her look so cute. Wait, what? "I like when you smile," Xion clarifies shyly before dropping her gaze back to the ground below us.

Well, holy crap. She likes it when I smile.

With a very big grin on my face, I lean in and push my cheek against hers. "Like thiiiiiiis?" I sing out to her, making her flinch and start laughing. "God, do you have to do this now?!" Xion demands as I cuddle into her and then sneakily start to wrap my arm around her waist.

Xion blushes harder and whaps at my hand. "Stop trying to grab my ass, Axel!" She squeals before trying to get up and throw me off the building. I start laughing hysterically, dodging her slap and grabbing her wrist. Before I even know what I'm doing, I'm already pulling her into my lap.

Uh... I… didn't... mean to do that.

With her on my lap and my back on the building, it's the stupidest and most awkward position you can imagine two friends and not dating people can end up in. Like we were in a bad romance anime, Xion is pressed up against my chest and her legs are sprawled almost around my waist.

If there was a soundtrack to my life, this would be the point it would sing out: "ooooh, baaaaaby."

I don't even know how we ended up in this position, only that she should totally be facing to the side and damn, I really want to see where this goes. For a moment, Xion looks like she's going to do her normal freakout and slap me. Totally understandable, I kinda groped her and all.

But then she stops and just looks at me.

And my heart starts going nuts.

Ba-dump, ba-dump.

In unison, we both lean in. I really couldn't believe it. I'm about three seconds away from sharing a dorky chick flick kiss with Xion. And for once in my life, I'm the leading man! I brush her hair out of her eyes gently, putting my hand onto her cheek like I've been doing this all my life.

She blushes and leans up a little closer, just about to put her lips to mine. All I have to do is go in. Just a few inches and I get a kiss. Damn right, maybe this date hadn't been as bad as I thought. I bring her in, closing my eyes a split second before I -

"Axel! Are you having sex with Xion up there?!" A shocked voice shouts up, making us both freeze about a centimeter from actually kissing. I was going to murder Roxas!

When I look over Xion's shoulder and then down, I can see Roxas staring at us from the inside of his truck. He blinks at me for a moment before grinning and giving me a proud thumbs up. Oh, he better not. "Axel, you need to wear a condom!" Roxas shouts next. "Do you want one?"

Forget strangling him, I'll fucking kill him!

Xion stares at me for about two seconds before immediately jumping off of me and grabbing the rope we had used to fall down. Without even looking at me, she mumbles something. "I'll… go down first…" With that, she ties the hook end around the ledge and propels down.

Now my lap's cold. And I'm pissed off. I'll kill him. I'll freakin' kill him for this!

I scramble to the edge of the building, glaring down at Roxas as Xion climbs down slowly. He blinks at me once before a startled 'O' of sudden realization appears on his lips. He looks at Xion and then back at me and then slams his head on the steering wheel.

Yeah, mister wingman! Look what you did!

As I sit there, I can't help but think that I forgot something. The minute that the clammy, cold dead hand grips my shoulder, I suddenly remember what it was.

Oh f-!

As the zombie – a girl, a gray-skinned little girl that was screeching a triumphant scream for having caught me – yanks my throat toward her, her mouth opens, revealing a dozen filthy yellow teeth just the right size to tear into my flesh. Oh crap, I'm about to die!

The zombie flashes a savage grin at me before bending down to my neck, readying herself to bite me.

Then the knife sinks into her cheek.

In unison, we blink at each other before looking down at the truck again. Xion was standing in the bed of the truck, her hand already set to throw a second one. Uh… what?! "Axel, get down now!" She shouts before chucking the next one.

Luckily, my body is more than ready to listen to Xion.

I hurtle myself away from the zombie, rolling off the edge and snatching the rope in mid-air. Oh shit! Alright, reflect on the awesomeness later! I smack against the building once before letting myself fall, barely noticing how much rope burn I was getting as I slide.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

YES!

My feet slap onto the ground and for a moment, I'm tempted to start kissing it in relief. I would totally fall to this floor and have its dirty, flat babies right now from how happy I am to still be alive. Then I hear Xion's and Roxas' shouting.

"Axel, will you stop googly-eyeing the floor and get in the fucking truck?!"

I look up just in time to see that the other zombies are starting to follow my little admirer, though these guys were just falling to the ground. And… getting back up. Oh crap, the fall didn't hurt their brains.

"Shot-gun!" I shout back and rush to the truck as fast as my long ass legs could get me there.

As I watch Xion climbing out of the bed of the truck and openly ogle how nice her legs are, I purposely turn my back to Roxas. The jerk.

"I told you, I didn't know," He snaps for the third or fourth time but I still ignore him. Safely in the village, now I don't have to acknowledge him or yell at him to drive it faster or scream what the hell did he mean that he had the pedal all the way to the floor already. "Seriously, Axel, you can't give me the cold shoulder forever. I'm giving you a ride!" Roxas adds.

Yes I can. I'm the older one.

Xion glances over at us for a moment before turning away, slamming her hand into her forehead in obvious agony from how bad our date was.

I wilt, knowing that she was probably going to never talk to me again. Okay, I can stop ignoring Roxas now. "You had one fucking job, wingman," I pout, giving him a hurt look. Roxas winces and nods, slamming his head into the steering wheel again.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I thought you couldn't hear me," He mumbles softly, giving me just as bad of a puppy eye look. Like I was looking at a kicked and badly injured puppy, I can't stay mad at him. It's like beating up a puppy dog. I can't do it. I put my hand on his shoulder and sigh.

"It's okay… just know that I totally hate you though," I inform him. Roxas glares at me for a few seconds before blinking at something over my shoulder. Okay, I'm not an idiot. I'm not falling for it. "And next time I ask you for help on making a romantic date, just say no." I add, shaking my head angrily.

I really screwed up. Now I can't even have her as a friend, let alone a girlfriend. She must think I'm the biggest loser in the entire freakin'… who's hand was on my shoulder?

"Hey, Axel?" The sweetest voice in the entire freakin' world says into my ear, making me freeze and turn the brightest shade I can possibly turn without catching on fire. Xion chuckles softly before I feel a very light brush of her lips on the top of my ear. "Next time we go on a date, you just be yourself. … Good night." And then she walks away and into her house.

I hear the door close with a very quiet click.

I touch the tip of my ear before staring at Roxas, asking him what the hell happened. He nods once before his jaw drops in complete utter surprise over what he had just seen. The minute that my brain processes Xion's act, my entire body reacts by turning warm then cold and then just exploding with heat as I blush.

"Dude, she kissed me," I say in shock.

"On the ear!" Roxas protests.

"Still a damn kiss!"