Author's Notes: Yeah... so this is a thing...

Vex here and... goddamn, I have no idea how this came into being. What started as a quirky little story called ''Yang's Midnight Ritual'' quickly escalated into... whatever this is.

I'm honestly shocked at how quickly my mind turned Yang from 'slightly creepy fangirl' into 'totally obsessive psycho'. I... I don't even know where to begin honestly. I guess I'll just leave it to you guys to find out for yourselves. Please tell me what you think of this because hell if I know what to think about it.

On another note: chapter 4 of Pyrrha and The Idiot is half done! Coming with it will be the next installation of Penny For Your Thoughts which, if you didn't know, is a mini-series I'm doing in which Penny asks fan-submitted questions to the cast of RWBY. And yes, you are most definitely allowed to ask questions about what happens in this story!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have nightmere-filled dreams to be had.

Cookie for anyone who can name five references in this story.

- Vex out!

Yang... What The Hell?

''Blake… hey, Blake. Wake up, Blake!''

The young Faunus found herself being shaken out of her sleep by some unknown assailant – or one who would be unknown had she not been sharing a dorm with her for the past few months. 'If I pretend to be asleep, she'll leave me alone' Blake thought. It was some ungodly hour, though she didn't know which. She didn't want to find out either.

''Weiss, she's not getting up!'' Ruby whined.

''Then just leave her. She doesn't have to come along.''

''Wait, I have an idea!'' There was a sound of a metal tin being peeled open and a rather delicious smell wafting through the air. Blake's cattish sense of smell went into overdrive as it tried to discern the origin.

'Mackerel? No… sardines - no! Wait… it's definitely…' Her eyes cracked open a fraction to see Ruby waving a tin of tuna in front of her face, as though trying to lure a pet out of its hiding place. Torn between wanting sleep and wanting food, Blake released an involuntary growl.

''Hah! Got you!'' She sighed and sat up in bed, glaring at the girl. She snatched the tin from Ruby and started picking at its contents in an effort to cheer herself up from the defeat.

''Well, what is it?'' she asked, swallowing.

''We're going on a super-secret mission and thought you would want to come with us.''

Blake maintained the glare as she picked the last stragglers from the tin. Weiss was standing behind the girl wearing an equally irritated expression. She looked to the window and saw the full moon hanging in the sky, surrounded by a smattering of stars.

She sighed. There was no way she was getting back to sleep with a stomach full of fish and the amount of noise Ruby, Weiss and Ya-

''Wait a minute… where's Yang?''

''That's what we're going to find out!''

Blake pulled on a black sleeping gown over her pyjamas rather than get changed completely and followed the other two girls on their quest to find Yang. ''So, what are we looking for exactly?''

''Surely you've noticed the way Yang sneaks out occasionally in the middle of the night? She has to be going somewhere. That's what we're looking for,'' Weiss explained in a hushed whisper as the passed through the dark corridors.

''Maybe she's got a boyfriend?'' Ruby smirked at her suggestion, relishing the thought of all the teasing possibilities that would be open to her.

''If that is the case, we'll leave and not interfere. Understood, Ruby?'' Blake mentally thanked Weiss for her proper attitude, meaning she wouldn't have to be the mature one in this makeshift mission in the moonlight.

''I know, you don't have to tell me that!''

''Good,'' Weiss replied, content with their young leader's answer. What she failed to notice was Ruby's continued smirk as her eyes glazed over, obviously daydreaming about the fun she would have tomorrow, to which Blake simply shook her head.

They caught up to Yang in the central courtyard with a large statue of two hunters standing over a defeated Ursa. Hiding in the shadows of the building, the three saw the blonde party girl approach said statue. She seemed to be wearing some kind of yellow silk robe, shining in the luna illumination. She skipped to the statue and leaned forward, touching something, then hopping back. There was a quiet rumbling and the statue shifted, revealing some kind of passage. Yang entered, descending the stairs and disappeared from sight.

The three dashed forward but were blocked from continuing by the statue moving back into its original position.

''Great, what now?'' Weiss huffed.

''From the looks of it, the passage should open if we press... this!'' Blake pressed hard against the Ursa's nose. A second later the passage revealed itself once more.

''Open sesame...''

''Let's go.''

As they stepped forward resume their pursuit of Yang, Blake looked over her shoulder to see Ruby standing a ways back, as if frozen. There was a look of uncertainty in her eyes. ''Ruby, come on.''

''Huh? Oh, right...''

They made slow progress with each tentative step down into the darkness, or at least Weiss and Ruby did. Blake, more concerned with returning to the warmth of linen bed sheets and the comfort of a fluffy feather pillow, took point, her Faunus vision making easy work of the surroundings. The walls were made of a perfectly smooth stone, identical to that on which they walked, the sound of footsteps reverberating with perfect clarity. The stairway ended, leaving them in an empty square room. Blake could make out a door with some kind of extravagant framing. Blake told the two to wait there and she moved forward alone, observing the frame as best she could. Then, one by one, flame torches along the wall spontaneously combusted, making clear a room of smooth cloudy white stone, similar to that of pearls excavated from clams on the deepest sea floor.

Ruby gasped. ''We should leave.''

''What do you mean 'we should leave'?'' Weiss asked, approaching her partner. ''We're here now so we may as well press on.''

''No, seriously. Let's just turn back and go to bed. I know what's in there and you don't want to see it.''

''It's gold...''

''Gold?'' Weiss' attention had been redirected at Blake's summary from her protesting partner to the elaborate framework that Blake was touching. ''You're sure?''

''Positive.''

''Guys, can we just go, please?''

''Can you imagine how much this must have cost? And just for decoration?''

''Sounds like something your family might do.''

''Please, we have better aesthetic taste than this drab room.''

The two spoke back and forth like this until Ruby pressed herself between them. ''Listen to me! You don't want to see what's in there!''

''And what exactly is in there?'' Blake inquired.

''You really don't want to know.''

''Well, as a matter of fact, I do,'' she said, moving on deeper into the bowels of the underground structure.

''Curiosity killed the cat!'' Ruby called in one last futile attempt to persuade her teammate.

''And satisfaction brought it back,'' Weiss finished, following Blake's lead. Ruby reluctantly joined them, grumbling under her breath about how they wouldn't like what they saw. Her pessimistic grumbles were replaced with a mixture of fear and awe as they entered the next room: a large hall with a rows of glass display cases.

''She must have moved her whole collection here...''

''Collection? Of what?'' Blake asked.

Before she could reply, they heard Weiss' voice say, ''What in the name of Remnant is that?'' She was looking at a case holding what could only be described as some kind of broccoli monster. Green and abnormally proportioned, its limbs bore some vague reminiscence to a human.

''Is it a Grimm?'' Weiss wondered aloud, her mind unable to comprehend the monstrosity before her. Blake looked down and saw a display plate with some writing on it.

'''Player'?''

''Excuse you?''

''I think that's what it's called. That's what it says here at least. If these are exhibits then it only stands to reason that they'd have titles.''

''There's another one over there,'' Ruby pointed to another humanoid form in another display case a little further down. This one had was composed of some purple substance that would look better as some mysterious splatter on the ground. Again, this being sported an abnormal body: an upper arm so large it was fit to burst; a forearm as thin as a twig; abdominal muscles that shot out of its torso.

Ruby put on a yawn that reeked of bad acting. ''I don't know about you guys but I'm really tired. How about we all go and get some sleep now?''

''You're not going anywhere.'' Weiss grabbed the smaller her hood and dragged Ruby further down the aisle, much to her dismay. It seemed as though Weiss wasn't giving her a choice in the matter and so she begrudgingly accepted her fate.

Yang's collection didn't seem to be just creepy beings that shouldn't have existed though. There were some much smaller and tame items such as a rather standard bow with a quiver of arrows, a metal bucket with a red, molten liquid bubbling inside labeled 'the start of something beautiful' and much much more. As they strolled up and down the aisles, the same questions crossed the trio's minds. What were these things? What was the link between them all? The most important question though: why did Yang have all this stuff hidden under Beacon?

''For years now, Yang's been obsessed with this group called the Achieve Men.'' Ruby explained. ''She would buy all the merchandise she could get her hands on and store it in one of Signal's basements where no one ever went. It was her private collection.''

''And you're saying this is the result of years of collecting? What's it doing here, it's meant to at Signal from what you said.''

''Yeah, she must have moved it here at some point.'' Creepy, obsessive - call it what you want, if nothing else, Blake admired her partner's dedication and the tenacity of moving it all to Beacon without anyone noticing. It couldn't have been a simple task getting it here without anyone noticing.

''Regardless, this wasn't worth the difficulty it took bringing you in here. Why must you be so stubborn all the time?''

''Yeah, sorry about that,'' Ruby laughed, rubbing the back of her head. ''Guess I just overreacted. Now, let's-''

''What's in the back room?''

The laughter died. Ruby's already-pale complexion turned as white as a sheet.

''Wh-what back room?''

''Come on Weiss, there's more to see.''

''So it seems. Lead the way, Blake,'' Weiss grabbed Ruby's hood and began to drag her once more as they continued on their mission of discovery. The next room they entered was much smaller. A dais in the center of the room held a single cloth-covered cylinder shape. Even Ruby looked curious as they drew nearer to the unknown object. Clearly this was one of Yang's newest additions. Blake's clammy hand was the first to reach out and grab the sheet. She gave a quick glance to the girls beside her who nodded.

A deep breath and a quick tug revealed something quite shocking.

''Is... is that a...''

''No, it couldn't be... why would she have an... a...''

''It's a testicle.''

Inside a cylinder glass display, much smaller than the others they had seen thus far was, as Blake had correctly identified, a single testicle... a male reproductive organ, suspended in clear liquid.

''EWWW! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS!'' Ruby cried, scuttling away to a safe distance.

Weiss took a step back, a hand covering her mouth as she fought to keep her supper down. Blake was the only one not completely revolted at the sight, probably due to the things she had seen during her time in the White Fang. That wasn't to say she wasn't shocked by the sight. It had been carefully cleaned and kept in some kind of preserving liquid from the looks of it. A lot of effort had been put into this particular display; Blake glanced down at the title for this standout item. 'Ball'. 'Very creative,' she thought, rolling her eyes.

''Perhaps it's time we called this little venture a night...''

''Thank you! Come on, let's get going!''

Blake spotted another doorway out of the corner of her eye. ''We're not leaving,'' was all she said, pressing forward. They had woken her up and she'd be damned before letting them get away with stopping so near to the end.

And so, Blake, Weiss and Ruby entered the next room.

The final room.

It was a perfect circle with a tower in the mid-point, standing proud: a black obsidian base with a spire of gold held above it. At the top stood Yang, her back turned to the interlopers, who had withdrawn to peering around the corner. Her attention seemed focused on a large digital timer, counting down to something. 90... 89... 88...

When the countdown reached 60, a number of round holes opened up randomly across the floor and more glass containers rose, within which was a person, each with their hands tied behind their backs and mouths gagged. In the closest one, Blake saw a young man: light brown hair of medium height with a nose slightly too large for his face. And in the second... and the third. Her eyes widened as she realized that each and every person in the was exactly the same.

''One day, Uncle Qrow comes in and says he's managed to get her VIP tickets to one of their events for her birthday. Out of all the Achieve Men, there was always one that Yang liked more than the others... A few days after the show, I peeked inside her basement and saw him... and them another one... and another... I don't know how she did it, but...''

''Clones...?''

Ruby nodded. ''This is insane...'' Weiss muttered.

The countdown hit zero and a gong sound burst through the room. All the containers opened and the clones fell forward. Yang hopped down from her podium and walked amongst the struggling bodies. ''Now then, which of you lucky boys are going to be first?'' she asked. Her voice sounded strange, like a woman in a supermarket trying to decide what brand of beef to buy for dinner. ''Ah! You!'' She bent down and lifted up one of the clones, dragging him over to the tower and pushing his back up against it. Muffled cries of protest elicited the response of Yang stroking his cheek and whispering, ''Shhh, don't worry, you'll enjoy it. I promise.''

Then she threw off her robe, revealing a completely naked body.

Then she dropped to her knees.

She grabbed his jeans and tore them off, belt and all, leaving his lower parts exposed.

She leaned forward, opened her mouth and...

...

Blake lay in her bed, eyes wide open, staring at the bottom of the bed above her.

''That wasn't PG...'' Ruby said.

''Certainly not...'' Weiss muttered.

''We never speak of this again... understood?''

The two nodded...

That didn't keep them from the sleepless nights that followed their little adventure, one they would not be repeating any time soon.

Several months earlier...

''What exactly are you having built under my school?'' Ozpin asked, taking a sip from his mug.

''Trust me pal, you don't wanna know...'' Qrow replied.