All rights and privileges belong to FOX and Hart Hanson. All characters except for originals belong to them. I'm just playing with them for a while no copyright infringement is intended.

You are all waiting so patiently for my sequels and I do appreciate it. Life has been hectic but I wanted to get something out there for you for the holidays. So, I skipped that whole sleeping thing. Like the last 12 Days of Christmas story this one is based on a song. I don't own Bob Rivers' Twelve Pains of Christmas but I've certainly laughed my butt off to it!

Chapter 1 - Finding a Christmas Tree

Brennan breathed a little heavily as they trudged up a hillside outside of Washington D.C. in Virginia.

"Booth, I do not understand why we could not just buy one from a tree salesman in the city," Brennan huffed as they headed up another hill. Her breath puffed out from her mouth with each exhalation.

"Because, Bones, this is all part of the Christmas experience," Booth replied, grinning cheerily at her. The crisp, clean, smell of the Virginia mountains and blue spruces surrounded them.

"What does walking up the side of a hill in Alexandria,Virginia have to do with the birth of Jesus?" She asked, trying to make the connections and not seeing them.

"Right now it's about the family bonding time not about Jesus' birth. However, the evergreen is traditionally used as a Christmas tree. The tree is green all through the winter and is used to remind us of everlasting life when things around us are dying," Booth huffed, his breath starting to become more difficult.

"Booth, shouldn't the evergreen stays green due to adaptation of the leaves to needle shapes that allow for continuous photosynthesis," Brennan explained.

Booth chuckled and kept on walking. Brennan watched as he scanned the area then started moving again. Pursing her lips, she started following him again.

"What about this one?" She asked, pointing to her left at a random tree. He paused, looked over his shoulder at the tree she was pointing to.

"Too sparse," he grunted and kept moving. Brennan squinted her eyes then started moving again. Booth stopped then let his gaze roam up a tree.

"Booth, that is the twentieth tree you've turned down," Brennan said with a sigh.

"I'm looking for the perfect tree and this is the one, Bones," Booth said, pointing to the tree.

"There is no such thing as a perfect tree and if this is a family bonding time shouldn't Parker be here?" She asked, breathing deeply as she stood next to him.

"I'd love for Parker to be here but Rebecca's being difficult as usual," Booth said, his face just a little sad. Brennan stepped forward and clasped his hand in hers.

"This tree seems to be full and straight. Let's tag this then we can go and wait for them to cut it down," she said, examining the tree with a more critical eye than the others.

Booth tagged the tree, turned, grabbed her hand and dragged her through the snow. Brennan laughed as he kicked the snow like a little kid. Suddenly, she found herself sliding down the side of the hill. She squealed until they came to a stop at the bottom of the hill. Booth dropped his head back in the snow and laughed.

"What just happened?" She asked, sitting up and looking around.

"My foot slid out from under me and I took you with me," Booth said, starting to laugh at the situation.

"It's not amusing, Booth," she muttered, playfully glaring at him as she struggled to sit up.

"Yes, it is," he said, sitting up.

He looked around and there were several people grinning at them and shaking their heads. Brennan struggled to her feet then reached to help Booth up. Before she could blink, he shot her a charming grin and pulled her back into the snow. People watching erupted into loud laughter.

"Booth," Brennan growled getting to her feet, "that was childish."

"Yes, but it was fun," he said, smiling brightly and climbing to his feet.

He brushed himself off and headed towards the building where he could pay. He paused when a snowball splatted into the back of his head, making snow fall down into his shirt. Yelping, he danced around as Brennan laughed as she walked over to the snack area and got them some coffee.

An hour, one flat tire, and multiple curse words later, Brennan helped Booth push the large tree up to his apartment.

"Booth," she huffed, "did you really have to get one this big?"

She pushed and he pulled with a grunt. The tree slid in through the doorway and knocked things off the walls and table as it slid past into the living room.

"Yes, it's Christmas. It's part of the fun," he said, moving the tree to the corner where they had already set up the stand. With the rustle of branches the tree was put it into the stand.

"Bones, hold the tree up so I can tighten the bolts," Booth said, dropping to his knees.

"Booth you're stronger you should be the one holding the tree up," Brennan pointed out.

"But I need to make sure the screws are tight," he argued.

"Fine," she grunted, pushing against the tree to hold it up.

Booth slid under the tree and turned the screws until they were tight in against the trunk.

"There," he said, sliding back out and sitting back.

He scrambled to his feet and moved back towards the couch to see the whole thing. Brennan stepped back and stood next to him with her hands on her hips.

"It's rather large," she said, pursing her lips as she eyed the branches that covered his television, his lamp on the table next to his recliner and pressed up into the ceiling.

"Yeah, I need to do some trimming so that we can put the lights on tomorrow," he said, rubbing the back of his hair then grimacing as he dragged sap into his hair.

"Dang it," he mumbled, looking at his hands, "I got sap in my hair." Brennan smiled at his borderline panicked voice.

"Come over here and sit down," she said, tugging him towards a chair in the kitchen. She pushed him down and he turned to watch her walk to his cabinets.

"What are you doing, Bones?" He asked, trying to see what she was pulling down.

"I am getting peanut butter to remove the sap from your hair," she said, pulling down the jar she'd seen earlier.

"Peanut butter?" He asked, turning this way and that trying to see what she was doing.

"Yes, it is a home remedy that actually works," she said, unscrewing the lid.

"You are not putting peanut butter in my hair," he said, trying to get up.

"Sit down, Booth," she said, pushing him down with one hand and rubbing a large smear of peanut butter on the back of his head.

"Awww, please tell me there is a scientific reason this works?" He pleaded glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Yes, both the sap and the peanut butter are hydrophobic and attracted to each other. The oils will come between the hair follicle and the sap making it easier to remove," she said, rubbing in the peanut butter.

"Are you sure?" He asked, not thinking about who he was speaking to.

"Yes, Booth. My father used it on my hair when Russ put gum in my hair when I was five," she said, rubbing some more, "now stay here."

He heard her move into his bathroom then come back to where he sat. He felt the comb run through his hair and it did not get stuck. She walked around in front of him when she was finished with the comb and picked up his hands. She rubbed his fingers and palms with her hands, making the sap roll up and turn an icky color on his hands.

"Now wash your hands and hair," she instructed.

"Thank you," he said, shooting her a soft smile.

"You're welcome," she returned.

"You could finish the job and come remove the peanut butter for me," he said, giving her his best charm smile.

"I believe that you can finish this by yourself," Brennan said, shooting him a wide smile.

"I have to go home because Angela and I are going shopping tomorrow," she said, winking at him.

"But, Bones, why are you going home again?" He asked, giving her a pitiful look that was emphasized by the peanut butter in his hair.

"We've already discussed this, Booth, if Angela comes here than she will only embarrass you with a bunch of questions you do not want to be asked. She will not do it at the lab as a professional courtesy," Brennan murmured.

"Bones," he whined as she walked away.

She stopped, turned back towards him and walked to where he sat. Perching on his knee, she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes and let his lips follow her lead. He felt her lips part and swept his tongue into her mouth. As the kiss grew deeper, it was abruptly ended. She stood up, dropped another quick kiss on his lips and headed to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow to help you put the lights on the tree," she said, smiling.

He watched as she walked out of his apartment and pouted at the thought of being alone for the first time in months. Since they had gotten together a year ago their nights had been spent together other than her occasional out of town trip for a book signing. Sighing, he got up and headed to the shower.

~X~M~A~S~

The First thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me is finding a Christmas tree.

A/N: Please leave a review. I think it will help my muse. Oh and keep an eye on these lyrics =) They change like they do in the song.