I gave a cold look over to the director, who looked over at me anxiously. I didn't really want to be a part of this reality show, having cameras follow me around during my day to day life. But Stephanie McMahon personally asked me to join the show. How could I turn her down?

It was a new concept for wrestling: an all-female reality show called Total Divas to air on the E! Network. For the next several months, a crew would be following me and several of the other divas in the WWE around, filming our private lives.

I sat in a chair as the director explained what he wanted: to film an intro for the first episode. I sighed, brushing back my dark brown hair and sighed.

"Whenever you're ready." He told me.

I gave him a half smile before nodding. The green light lit up on the camera, filming had started.

"Hi, I'm Jessie. But you know me better in the WWE as Juliet." I introduced myself. "I've been a WWE diva for about six years now. I've been wrestling for a little over ten years. That makes me a veteran in the locker room."

"Tell us some more personal information." The director encouraged.

"I have two beautiful girls with another wrestler, whom you know as CM Punk. Shannon is six and Amy is four."

"And what is your relationship like with Punk?" I was asked.

"Phil and I have been on and off for about ten years. It's...it's a bit of an odd situation right now. We broke up after Wrestlemania this year and he started seeing another diva and one of my good friends, AJ Lee. We still live in Chicago and he does spend as much time with the girls as he can, which is never easy."

"Awesome. Thanks, Jessie." The director said, excusing me.

I had a feeling that I would regret signing up for this stupid show.

I tried my best to ignore the camera guy that followed me out of the room. Shannon and Amy were sitting in the family viewing area backstage with one of my best friends, Seth Rollins.

"Momma!" Shannon rushed over to me, jumping up in my arms.

"Thanks for watching them for me at the last second." I told Seth as Amy wrapped her arms around my leg.

"Punk bailed on you again, eh?" He raised an eyebrow.

I gave him a reproachful look. One thing that I always strive to do was never talk bad about my girl's father in front of them. Seth nodded, clearly understanding when I ignored his comment.

"Girls, it's getting late. Come on, let's get you to the bus and then it's time for bed." I said.

"Ah, Momma." Amy whined.

"We're not sleepy." Shannon protested in the middle of a yawn.

"Yes you are. No arguments." I said, sliding Shannon onto one hip and scooping up Amy.

Thankfully, Seth offered to help me with my bags. Sure enough, Amy snuggled up in my neck and fell asleep before we got to the bus.

"They had already brushed their teeth." Seth told me as I laid Amy down in her bunk.

"Thanks." I whispered as I lowered Shannon onto her bunk.

"You really should think about a nanny." Seth said with a grin.

"Phil and I always said that we wanted to raise our girls." I shook my head. "I don't want hired help."

"Yet Phil hasn't been around much, as he?" Seth asked.

"Stop." I warned.

"Jessie, you know I love you. And you're strong for your girls, but you don't need to put up a front with me." Seth urged, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked at him thoughtfully before nodding. "Want a ride to Birmingham?"

Seth flashed a grin that would normally make a woman's heart melt. We've been best friends for going on ten years now. The ship had sailed many years ago on anything romantic. I didn't see Seth that way.

"Thought you would never ask."

The cough from the camera man made me jump, having forgotten that he was there. I glared towards the camera, to which the guy shrugged.

Seth reappeared a few minutes later, rolling his bag in. I signaled to the driver that we were ready. I looked out the window as the building we wrestled in tonight in Montgomery, Alabama began to grow smaller in the distance.

"So what's going on with you and Punk?" Seth asked, popping open a beer and handing me one.

"I wish I knew." I sighed. "He moved out last month and then I get a text that he's dating AJ. A text." I reiterated.

"Ouch." Seth wrinkled up his nose. "Are you okay?"

"I guess." I shrugged. "I guess I'm just tired of the whole situation. We break up, he starts sleeping around while I sit and wait for him. He comes back to me, things are great for a while, then the cycle starts over."

"Why do you do this to yourself? You're far too good of a woman to sit on the sidelines."

"When things are great, it's really great." I take a sip from my beer.

"And that's the problem, isn't it?" Seth asked.

I nodded. I've known for years that Phil wasn't the marrying guy. Last time we broke up was almost five years ago. I got pregnant with Amy right after we got back together. I told Seth that things were going too good for us lately. When Shannon asked him why we hadn't gotten married, I knew that spelled trouble. Sure enough, I was right.

"Do you still love him?" Seth finally asked the question that I had asked myself many times over the last two months.

"You know what?" I took another gulp from my beer. "I'll get back to you on that."

Seth studied my face, looking like he was deciding to say something.

"I know that look. Out with it." I encouraged.

"Mox has been asking about you."

I tried to suppress my smile. "Has he?"

Jon Good. Aka Jon Moxley, or Mox. Aka Dean Ambrose on TV. I've known Mox for several years. We dated when Phil and I broke up the last time.

Seth knew the story. I was with Mox when Phil came crawling back to me. I felt like there was something special between me and Mox, but after everything I had been through with Phil, I was scared. Mox actually encouraged me to go back to Phil, telling me that Shannon deserved her mom and dad to be together.

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't taken Phil back that summer. I wish I had told Phil that our time had passed and to move on, like I had wanted to. But Mox's words struck a cord with me. A few months later, I found out that Amy was coming.

"He would never come out and admit it to me, but I think he regrets breaking up with you." Seth told me.

I emptied my beer can, tossing it into the trash without getting up from my seat.

"Three points." I muttered.

"Jessie." Seth evenly said, bringing my attention back to him.

"I don't." I shook my head. "Saying that I do means saying that I regret Amy, which I don't in the slightest."

"Okay, so let me ask you another question then."

"Do I wish I was with him now?" I asked.

Seth chuckled. "Yeah."

"I'll get back to you on that as well."