WHEN SHE LEARNS

When we leave the stone steps, Aro leads me to an elevator situated near the one I'd ridden earlier; I hadn't noticed it before. I'm nervous, although I shouldn't be. I requested this after all. He's taking me to meet the rest of the Volturi. They're not meeting me. They already know me. I'm meeting them.

This elevator moves much more quickly than the other one. We ascend two floors and exit the lift in a plain but brightly lit corridor. Aro drops his hood but doesn't remove the black cloak. We round a sharp corner and find ourselves in a classy reception area. I'm barefoot; I can feel the thick emerald green carpet beneath my toes. There are no windows here, but large paintings of the countryside line the paneled walls and take their place. Small clusters of pale leather couches border square wooden tables with vases of flowers that envelop the room in their sweet, clinging perfume. In the middle of the room, there's a high mahogany desk. There's a set of wooden doors set into the far right hand wall. We move towards those and stop when we're outside.

"Are you sure that this is what you want, Leah?" Aro asks carefully. He looks contented though, like my request has pleased him.

I nod but say nothing. After all, there's nothing I'm sure about in the world. Aro pushes open the door and leads me inside.

I freeze. The door has swung shut behind me and I press my back up against it. My eyes scan the room and I tally the vampires in front of me. Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven pairs of crimson eyes that watch me. I suck in a breath. Their collective scent burns not just my throat but my stomach and my lungs too. They're frozen, like me, but theirs is a comfortable suspense, like they're waiting patiently for me to make the first move.

They're my family, Aro said. They're my family. I want to accept that. But I'm not strong enough for this.

I feel the pressure building inside me. The wolf labors to break free. It fills me, straining to release its ferocity on the leeches before me. And despite Aro's calming influence beside me, in this moment, I can't help but want it to break free. I try to let it escape me. I make myself as small as I can. I press my humanity to the very edges of my existence and let the wolf fill me further. It doesn't break out though and I don't know how to let it.

A snort breaks the silence and my eyes flash to the large leech standing in the far left corner. Felix. "Nice hair," he snickers.

A feral snarl rips through my teeth and I lunge towards him. Human limitations or not, I'm going to kill him.

But his hand grabs mine before I reach Felix. I swing around and look into Demetri's blood-stained eyes.

"Tell me again how I'm the most handsome guy you've ever met!" He's holding my hands in his and spinning me around.

"You're certainly the most modest," I laugh, pulling my hands away and wrapping my arms around his neck. I try to kiss him but he leans away. "Fine," I grumble. "You're the most handsome guy I've ever met."

He grins and presses his hot lips to mine.

Demetri's touching me. I can feel his cold, hard hand wrapped around my own. There's nothing romantic in his touch. It's not restraining either. It's something else. Protective maybe? I don't know. I'm not sure if he's trying to protect me from myself or from the other vampires.

With Demetri so close, with his skin touching mine, it's harder for me to keep the wolf prominent in my being. It's still there – I can feel it – but other things begin to draw my attention from its bloodlust. My racing heart; my quick, shallow breaths; the twisting and churning in my stomach…

"Felix," he says. "Jane, Caius, Marcus, Chelsea, Afton, Alec, Heidi, Renata…" He lists the names of the vampires without looking at them. I stare at them, but I don't see them. Not really. Not when all I can feel is Demetri.

When he's finished, I look back up at him. "Why can't I phase?" I ask desperately. I'm not calm. His touch has distracted me, but it hasn't calmed me.

His jaw tightens and he lifts his head to look around the room at the others. "Please leave us," he says. His voice is low and threatening. No one argues. Aro is the last to leave and I don't miss the satisfied glance he throws Demetri's way before walking out the door. Once we're alone, Demetri turns back to me. He's still holding my hand. "You can't phase," he tells me.

"I know that!" I hiss angrily. "Why can't I phase? What am I doing wrong?"

"No, Leah," he says slowly. "You can't phase. You have a gene-silencing pump implanted in your lower abdomen."

I feel like I've been slapped. "What are you talking about?" I manage to ask, but I know what he's talking about. His words bring back wisps of my past. That's when I realise why Demetri took my hand. He's not protecting me after all. He's trying to keep me from breaking apart.

"Can I show you something, Leah?"

I nod numbly. He leads me back into the reception area and through the brightly lit corridor. We take the slow lift back to the carpeted hallway, but Demetri walks past my bedroom and opens the only door to our left. It's cream-coloured, with a silver door-knob just like all the other doors on this floor. Still holding my hand, Demetri leads me inside.

I look around. We're in a sort of study. There's an oak desk set in the corner of the room and a bookshelf filled with science textbooks and magazines. They're mine, I realise. I don't wait for Demetri to show me. I drop his hand and walk to the desk, picking up the sheets of paper lying on its surface. I recognise my handwriting. There are chemical formulas written on the pages and untidy hand-drawn diagrams of triangular pumps and immune cells and molecular receptors that look like television antennas. I turn to the bookshelf and pull out a thick black folder. There are pages and pages of notes inside. My notes.

My hand hovers over my abdomen, where the pump sits inside me. I don't remember having an operation to implant the device. I do remember these notes though. I remember spending hours and hours at my desk, poring over the latest genetic research journals. I remember long nights spent in the college research labs. I remember the hope that surged inside me each time I developed a new variant of the gene silencer. I remember injecting prototype after prototype of the drug into my thigh. And I remember my despair each time the drug failed. I couldn't implant the pump, not until I created a drug that successfully stopped my phase.

"I… succeeded?" I breathe.

"You came close. I perfected your formula," Demetri says. He's standing, looking at the notes over my shoulder. I flick to the back of the folder and see a handful of pages written in a hand other than my own. I turn around and stare at him. He shrugs and says simply, "I have four science degrees."

I don't let his words throw me. "Why?" I ask in a low voice. "Why did I want to prevent myself from phasing?" This I don't remember.

Demetri cocks his head to the side. "I suppose you just wanted to have a say in what you are."

"And I chose this," I murmur to myself, looking back at the folder. I chose to deny the wolf. I chose to be human.

Demetri shifts beside me. He pulls a textbook from the bookshelf – called simply Human Genetics – and flicks absently through the pages. He's not really looking at them. I watch him warily; he seems frustrated. After a few minutes, he slams the book shut and places it on the desk. "If you decide that this isn't what you want anymore, Leah," he says, staring at me, "I'll take the pump out myself."

I lift my eyebrows. "How many medical degrees do you have?" I ask wryly. It's not really funny, I know that.

A tight smile forms on Demetri's lips, but his answer is serious. "Three," he tells me.

"Go figure," I mutter. Then I ask something else. "We met while I was in college?"

Demetri nods, but his eyes blaze with something like anger. "Aro sent me to Washington to recruit you. You were using all of your spare time to develop the gene-silencer and I became something of a test subject. Towards the end, we worked on the drug together."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "A test subject?"

"It's very difficult for you to remain in your human form around vampires," Demetri replies. "What better way to test the drug than to use me?"

It makes sense. I nod. And then I say something I don't mean to. The words just leave me, like they've been waiting on my lips for a chance to escape. "Do you love me?" I ask Demetri. The words are so quiet; I can barely hear them myself.

He sighs. "Does it make any difference, Leah?"

"To what?"

"To anything."

"I remember loving you," I tell him. "And that doesn't make any difference."

Demetri nods and his features are masked again like they were this morning. "You don't love me now. That's fine. I'm not asking you to."

"Good," I say. I remember Aro saying that this was difficult for Demetri too, and I almost apologize. Almost.

Demetri picks up the Human Genetics textbook again and places it back on the bookshelf. I watch him. We're interrupted by a knock on the door. Demetri glances at me and then moves forward to open it. Felix stands outside in the hallway with a smaller figure. At first I think it's Alec, but then I notice the lighter hair and the fuller lips. She's an angel, like just like Alec, and she's tiny – especially next to Felix.

"Thought I'd give your girlfriend a tour of the castle," Felix says, grinning at me over Demetri's shoulder.

Demetri stiffens. "And Jane?" he asks.

The angel-faced girl smiles sweetly. "I decided to come too. The more the merrier, and all that."

Demetri looks back at me but I avoid his gaze. "Thanks," he says, "but we'll pass. I can show Leah around myself."

Felix shrugs. "Suit yourselves," he says.

I think of the pump inside me providing my body with a constant supply of gene-silencing drugs. I think of how I wanted this, of how I chose this. I can feel the wolf inside me – it's as violent and as present as ever – but I'm able to separate myself from it now. I am not it, and it is not me. I developed the technology to silence it. I am its master.

"No," I growl. "I'm fine. I'd like Felix and Jane to show me around." I say it because the castle is the only place I have, and because I might as well get used to the leeches around here.

Demetri shrugs and we follow Felix and Jane back to the elevator. He says nothing as Felix tells me that we are in the North tower, and that this, the fifth floor, belongs to Demetri. Jane frowns at this – her puckered brow is as beautiful as her smile – but she says nothing either.

We begin the tour in the lobby I'd discovered earlier. Felix calls it the face of the Volturi's business façade and tells Demetri to lighten up when he doesn't laugh along with what Felix apparently finds highly amusing. Jane smiles, but her eyes flicker between Demetri and I. From the lobby, we take the lift to the second floor and move slowly through a maze of corridors and hallways and rooms that each belong to a different member of the Volturi. Apparently, Demetri is the only vampire with his own floor.

I'm still slow, although my legs are supporting my weight easily now, and I can tell that this irritates Jane. She doesn't say anything though and I half wish that she would so that the insults hanging off my tongue would be justified.

I mostly keep quiet. The questions I do ask are clipped and cautious, but what I'm really doing is fighting the wolf in me enough to concentrate of the familiar strangeness of the castle. It's as if I dreamed of this place in my sleep once and I'm only now finding out that it actually exists.

We tour all of the towers except for the East. "It's where the wives live," Demetri tells me.

"The wives?"

"Sulpicia and Athenodora. Aro and Caius's mates. Mostly, they keep to themselves."

"Oh," I say. I don't remember the wives from the meeting this afternoon. The thought of Aro having a mate strikes me as odd for some reason.

We end the tour in the North tower, four floors beneath the lobby. It's where I woke up, in a bed with white sheets and an I.V. drip beside me. We don't go into the hospital, though, and I'm relieved when Felix takes us instead to the training room with the silver poles that reach from the floor to the ceiling. We toured a number of other training rooms, but this is the only one with the strange poles.

I look around me again and notice a large sheet of paper tacked to the back of the door. It's a list of names, each with one or more numbers written next to it. Most of the numbers have been crossed out and corrected in a thick black marker. I notice just two names though. The first, written halfway down the sheet, is 'Santiago'. It has a solid black line through it. The second, the very last name on the list, is 'Leah'. The numbers 100, 85, 115 and 130 are written next to my name, but 130 is the only figure that hasn't been crossed out.

"It's our points tally," Jane says, appearing beside me.

I look at her – she's regarding the list proudly – and turn back to the sheet of paper. The other names come into focus now. It's a list of the Volturi members. Only Aro, Marcus and the wives have a single 100 next to their names. The rest of the members have at least two or three crossed out figures next to theirs, and one final uncrossed number.

"We each start out with 100 points," Jane continues. "Some of us never bet, though, so our points don't ever change." Her eyes skim Aro's and Marcus's names.

"I have 130 points?" I ask curiously.

"Yes," Jane smirks. "And I have 680."

"What are they for?"

Felix answers me. "Bribes mostly," he says. "It's our currency in the castle. Aro has the final say when it comes to anything important, of course, but for the most part he lets us have our fun."

I turn around and my eyes narrow. "What kind of bribes?"

Felix points his thumb at Demetri and laughs. "How do you think he managed to get a whole floor to himself?"

Demetri doesn't smile though.

I frown and stare at them. "You bribe each other for castle space?"

Jane rolls her eyes. "Demetri bribes for castle space. The rest of us actually make use of our points."

"Some of us don't need to use our points for tasks," Demetri counters and Jane hisses angrily.

I want to ask what he means by 'tasks', but Felix speaks up before I get a chance. "How about a 10 pointer?" he asks Demetri, punching him lightly on the arm. "You know," he says nodding in my direction, "show your girlfriend you're more than just a pretty face."

For the first time, I see Demetri smile. Truly smile, I mean. Not just a tight-lipped imitation of the expression. "You're on," he grins.

And then Felix and Demetri begin to circle one another.

Jane nudges me and I look down to see her small outstretched hand. "Ten points Demetri's on his back within the minute."

I study Demetri. He moves carefully, assessing his opponent with cautious eyes. Felix looks strong, but Demetri is smarter, I think. "You're on," I say, echoing Demetri's words to Felix, and shake Jane's hand. We let go quickly.

The fight begins to unfold before us. Felix seems to be working on instinct alone, whilst it's clear that Demetri plans his moves in advance. Brains vs. brawn, I think to myself and I'm more invested in the fight than I care to admit. The wolf in me is even more captivated than I am. It growls inside me at the sight of its enemies' skill.

I learn what the silver poles are for. Demetri and Felix use them as a sort of propulsion device. They take a running leap, grab a pole and swing around it like they're flying. Then they let go. And their bodies hurtle across the room in whatever direction they choose. They use the clutter around the room too, mostly to throw at one another. It doesn't do any damage, of course, but sometimes it catches an opponent unawares and distracts them for a moment or two.

They haven't physically touched one another yet, though. Felix tries, but Demetri's quick and it soon becomes a game of cat and mouse. With each evasion, Felix gets a little more irritated and I guess at Demetri's strategy. He's provoking Felix until he becomes frustrated enough to make a mistake.

It happens suddenly then. One minute Demetri's swinging from a silver pole and the next his body contorts in mid-air. He lands hard on his back. And then he's standing again and eyeing Jane. I look at her. She's smiling innocently, but her eyes are dangerous.

"You should be more specific with your bets, Leah," she says to me, like she's giving me a compliment, and then she turns to the list on the door. She pulls a marker from her pocket and crosses out the 130 next to my name. She amends my points to 120 and then changes hers to 690.

Pain illusion. That's Jane's gift. I'm momentarily stunned by this, but Felix's shout of frustration makes me spin around before I can respond. I gasp at the ferocity of the wolf in me; it's livid that I wasn't watching Demetri and studying his moves. He has Felix pinned against a wall, his teeth at Felix's throat. It seems Jane's stunt distracted Felix more than it did Demetri, and she's not happy about it. She glares at them and then stalks from the room.

Demetri backs down and slaps Felix on the back, grinning again. "Nice try, brother."

Felix laughs then. His temper is apparently short-lived. "I had to let you win for the lady's sake," he chuckles.

He, too, draws a marker from his pocket and amends the points on the door, adding 10 to Demetri's name and subtracting 10 from his. Demetri has 645 points next to his name, second only to Jane. Felix has just 60.

"Thought you'd be a better fighter than that," I say to Felix, nodding to his dismal standing on the list and trying to focus on something other than the raging animal inside me.

"I go through 50 points in a day," he retorts. "If I saved my points like Demetri and Jane, I'd be crushing you all."

"Of course you would," Demetri agrees, but he mouths an exaggerated 'no' at me over Felix's shoulder. I suppress a tight smile and Demetri's expression clears. "We should go," he says flatly. "Thanks for the tour, brother."

The three of us walk back out into the stone hallway, and turn towards the elevator. Once we're inside, Demetri stiffens. Felix eyes him questioningly.

"Heidi," Demetri mutters quietly. His features harden, but Felix's expression suddenly brightens. He presses number 3, while Demetri presses 5.

"What about Heidi?" I ask, but nobody answers me.

When we reach the third floor, Felix hurries out, but Demetri hangs back. I make a decision then and follow Felix before the doors can slide closed. He's gone though, and I'm not quick enough to catch him.

"Leah," Demetri warns, his voice suddenly beside me. "We should go back to your bedroom. This isn't something you'd wish to see."

"What isn't something I'd wish to see?" I snap. I'm still walking in the direction Felix took, towards the reception area, and Demetri is walking beside me.

He pauses and I automatically stop too. I'm not expecting him to answer me, but he does. "The Volturi are feeding," he says carefully.

I breathe out slowly. I feel the colour drain from my face, and then I'm hobbling away from Demetri as fast as I can. I can't run, not yet, but I move as quickly as I can. I arrive in the reception area just seconds after they do. There's a whole group of them. I can hear their hearts beating; it's loud and strange after the silence in the vampires' chests. I stare at them, but they don't stare back. They're too busy watching the suggestively dressed female vampire in front of them.

Heidi.