Miraclaus.

It was the night before Christmas and all was dark,

Save for one bright little spark,

Named Mirajane,

Having fun was her game,

And tonight of all nights,

She would have her delights.

Or at least she would if her legs weren't so cold. There were disadvantages to wearing a cute little Santa outfit, brilliant thought it had seemed when she planned this all out, and one of them was cold legs. Mira was just glad she hadn't gone for that really daring one that showed her midriff with a bottom half consisting of nothing more than a pair of panties and boots and the top little more than a bra, though it had come with a Santa hat, which was nice.

But as said she hadn't gone for that one, instead she had opted for a more conservative dress that left no midriff bare and wasn't too tight around her chest and even had sleeves down to the wrists, can you imagine it. Though admittedly it stopped a little too far up her thigh for this sort of freezing cold weather. Luckily it had come with some nice red boots, lined with warm fur, which rose to her knees so it was only her thighs that were cold. They were also the part complaining the most about the cold however, aside from her face that is her cheeks painted a rosy red from how cold it was.

On the plus side she was halfway through her 'delights', also known as delivering her presents. Why she couldn't give them to everyone in the morning was so obvious that it didn't even need saying… so it won't be said.

She had given Erza a nice set of incredibly naughty underwear, because Mira knew everything including the fact that though she seemed pure and stern she was in fact a very, very dirty girl with some very, very dirty tastes in literature. Tastes Mira happened to share, though of course she bought the books herself rather than asked for them from Levy once the blue haired girl was done with them.

Master had been given a wine that was even older than he was, and if he was drunk by the evening then he had thoroughly enjoyed his present. Cana had gotten much the same though with more bulk and less refinement that is to say a twelve pack of beer, eleven bottles of vodka, ten of whiskey, nine of a nice red wine Mira was fond off, when she actually drank, eight of a white she was also fond of, same rules applied, seven of some brown ale, six of a sparkling wine, five bottles of rum, four of brandy, three of sherry, two of port, and a pear cider. It had been a pain carrying that around, all those bottles were really heavy, and they clanked like… a really… clanky thing.

Elfman had received some cook book to fuel his appetite, for becoming as good as a professional chef that is. Macao had been bought some very expensive cigars and Wakaba a barrel of pipe weed, Romeo was given a book on fire magic, Gray had been given a 'teach yourself not to strip' self-help book, and you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find one of them, but not impossible though.

For Laki she had found a book on torture devices, because she knew what Laki did with her spare time. Levy a diary that would cause unimaginable pain for anyone who tried to read it other than her. Bisca got a new rifle, Alzack got flowers with instructions to give them to Bisca, and Mira had also set up some mistletoe over the exact point where they said 'hello' to each other every day, another present on her part. She had bought Laxus some earmuffs, pink and fluffy and incredibly cute. Freed and Bickslow and Evergreen she was less certain about buying for so bought some generic gifts, a comb, a toy to be used as a puppet for his magic, and some perfume.

Everyone else's gifts were still waiting to be given, including the pair she was going to right now.

Using the front door, which was undoubtedly still unlocked, seemed like a rather boring way of entering so Mirajane opted for the window, sliding it up, slowly and carefully and crawling into the nice and toasty house that Natsu and Happy shared, even if it was filled the sounds of snoring.

She sighed in contentment, congratulating herself on the wise move of placing Natsu's house near enough to the middle to be called the middle of her list, after all Natsu and cold went together like fire and ice, and Natsu and Grey proved on a daily basis just how badly they went together, and she felt life returning to her frozen limbs and warmth spreading throughout her body.

She sighed, in annoyance this time "Now I don't wanna leave" the thought of going back out there, into the freezing cold, was looking less and less appealing the warmer she got in her, but she had a job to do and would be damned if she didn't do it, and so she rummaged around in the large sack she was carrying, she had been mistaken for a burglar twice tonight but the misunderstanding had quickly been sorted out thankfully.

Finally she found it and placed by Happy's hammock a fresh fish, wrapped in a bright bow with a little tag bearing Happy's own face on the front to ensure that he knew it was his. Then there was another short rummage to find Natsu's, and she smiled as she pulled it out.

A dragon teddy bear, with red 'scales' and yellow eyes, it was probably a lot cuter than Igneel was, but Mira hoped he liked it all the same.

Giving the snoring pink haired boy a small pat on the head, Mira turned and made her way out, using the window again.

"Mirajane… what are you doing?"

She blinked, halfway through the window with only her bottom and her legs still in his house, to look at the sat up and awake dragon slayer "… I'm not Mira."

"Huh?"

"I'm… Miraclaus!" she declared dramatically, still halfway through the window.

Natsu blinked "… right… sure… so, Mirajane, what are you doing? And you do realise that I can see your panties right?"

Mira flushed darkly and quickly pulled herself back in, sitting down in a position that meant he couldn't see the black thong she was wearing. It was Christmas. She pouted at him after a moment, realising that it wasn't that embarrassing for him to see her panties, definitely not as embarrassing as finding him and Lisanna playing 'doctors', that had been traumatic, more for Natsu than her though given what she had done to him afterwards. The thought of her sister brought a sad smile to her face, but she pushed it away focusing instead on the here and now "I'm delivering presents… Don't look at yours until the morning, okay."

"Where is it?" Natsu asked.

Mira raised her eyebrow "Do you really think I'm gonna tell you that?"

"But if you don't I won't know where not to look!"

She blinked "Good point, it's just below you" to his credit Natsu didn't look, much as he wanted to, the anticipation was killing him, no really he felt like he was having a heart attack from the sheer effort it took not to look.

"Okay… I won't look" he solemnly promised.

"And could you also promise not to tell anyone about my panties?" she really didn't want that spread around the guild, it being highly embarrassing wasn't the issue, the fact that it was Natsu was the issue, he'd end up saying something that was unknowingly suggestive and they'd all think she was screwing him until finally she cleared it up, that wasn't highly embarrassing, that was SUPER embarrassing. Big difference.

"Sure, sure" Natsu didn't really care about panties, he wanted to know what his present was more, but he wouldn't look, he had promised, and he wasn't about to break his promise. Especially not to Mirajane, she was scary as hell when she wanted to be, actually even hell would probably find her terrifying "Though to be honest, at first I thought you weren't wearing any…" Natsu frowned, picturing them in his head "Aren't underwear supposed to cover your butt."

"Hehe, well… not that type of underwear."

"Oh… okay then… can I go back to sleep now?"

Mira positively beamed "Sure!"

And within a heartbeat his head dropped and he was snoring away like he had never woken up.

Mirajane waited a moment, then made her decision, she stood and moved slowly over, picking up the stuffed toy she had left beneath his hammock and gently placing it beneath his arm. She had to bite back giggles as he unconsciously hugged it closer, wrapping both arms around the toy dragon.

He was so cute while he was sleeping.

Mira began to make her way out again, but paused 'I said I'd left his present beneath his hammock, so what if he doesn't realise that the dragon's his present… I know I'll leave a note!' she nodded happily to herself, then grinned with her cheek burning red 'A note, and a little something extra as well… hihi.'

The next morning Natsu woke up to find a black thong beneath his hammock.

A cute little Christmas one-shot that came to me while writing a sick and twisted poem, which I shall now recite:

Deck the hall with blood and bodies
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to get your jollies
Fa la la la la, la la la la
So rape the stupid bitch
Flip the evil switch
Get your rocks off
Punch someone's socks off
And. Have. Fun!

And if that doesn't tell you a little something about me, then I'm afraid you're absolutely crazy... which is probably a good thing, insanity is much more interesting than sanity, not that I believe sanity exists as the most insane thing in the world, to me, is truly and deeply believing that you are sane.

Toodles.