To Ashley, Merry Christmas. Have some cute Wolfstar feels. This is what you requested. Features lots of swearing and wingman!Marlene.

Nothing belongs to me.

7:30

I think Moony is going to be the death of me. Isn't he a creature of the night?

7:33

Correction: Moony throwing random magical objects at my body is going to be the death of me. "Creature of the night" my arse.

7:38

*sounds of History of Magic book hitting my legs*

Me: Oi, Moons, I'm up. I'm awake. You've all be graced by my presence so stop throwing things at me!

Rem: Not my fault if you're late.

Me: Definitely your fault if my bruised black and blue.

Jamie: Can't argue with his aim, though.

7:39

*thump*

Jamie: Oi!

Me: You can't argue with mine, either.

7:42

Ugh it's so cold in the castle in December. I'm literally going to die. Rem is actually making me get out of bed.

7:45

And take a shower.

7:46

...the Heathen

7:52

Me: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

Jamie: Oh shut it, Siri. Some of us would like to keep our ear drums, thanks.

Me: Jamie, when I'm in the shower two things get to be free: my balls and my soul, so fuck off.

*awkward pause of awkwardness and the sound of the water running*

Rem: Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality

7:54

Not so much of a Heathen, I suppose.

7:55

At the very least a Heathen with a good taste in music.

8:00

Shit, fuck, Merlin dammit to hell it's cold~!

8:02

Bet Prongs charmed my bed, wanker.

8:07

Merlin, why is Moony's tie undone?

8:09

Since when does he bite his lip when he reads?

8:10

Maybe it isn't so cold in here aftera—BAD THOUGHTS, SIRIUS, GET IT TOGETHER.

8:15

Hair looking fabulous?

Check.

Scruff in tip top shape?

Check.

Shirt tucked in?

Nope. Check.

Beautiful bird on my arm?

Sadly not, James will have to do.

8:18

Ah, fuck James. Leaving us for the fairer sex. Well, if Evans even counts. Guess that leaves me Moons.

8:20

Could be worse off.

8:23

Definitely worse off. Bloody moving stair cases—Rem has gracefully dived right on top of me. I'm not complaining.

8:25

No bloke should have that nice of an arse.

8:28

What the hell is wrong with me today?

8:33

Finally found Pete. Already stuffing his face with food.

Me: "Where was Pete?"

Rem: "Met up with his girl this morning."

Me: "The spotty Hufflepuff? Cindy or something."

Rem: "Honestly Padfoot, she's pretty. And it's Lucy."

Me: "I was close."

The spotty girl from Hufflepuff? Likes blokes like Pete? Is that Rem's type?!

8:36

FOODFOODFOODFOOD

8:38

Evans: "Are you actually breathing between bites, Black?"

Me: "Sad I haven't dropped dead yet?"

Evans: "Wouldn't exactly be sad if you did."

Me: "Why does Jamie even like you, you little—"

Rem: "Sirius, Lily, please. It's too early and I haven't had my tea yet."

Me: "Sorry, Moons."

Evans: *ahem*

Me: "Go choke on a cock, Evans."

Marly: *snort*

8:45

Rem thinks I'm horrible.

8:46

He's giving me that look.

8:47

Fine, I'll just give him the eyes. The eyes always work.

8:48

Update: he hasn't pushed my chin off his shoulder yet.

8:49

Hah, the git is smiling. I'm forgiven.

8:50

How could I not be, I'm way too adorable.

8:53

GAH, bloody Moons. Don't leave, you're my pillow!

8:55

Ugh, transfiguration. Hmm. How will we ruffle up Minnie today?

9:00

Bloody Marly, did she just pinch my bum?

9:02

She did. What the hell is she mouth at me? I can't read lips. Minnie's in the way.

9:05

All I got was "Remus"

9:07

She thinks I like Remus.

9:10

She can go fuck herself.

9:14

Minnie: "Mr. Black—"

Me: "Minnie dearest."

Minnie: "can you tell me the proper steps to turn a peppermint into a wagon wheel?"

Me: "Alas, my dear, I cannot, but I'm sure Remus can and will."

Minnie: "I dislike taking points from my own house, Mr. Black, but ten points from Gryffindor."

9:20

Prongs is scowling at me.

9:22

Oh look now Prongsie has pink hair.

9:30

Do I have dog ears now?

9:34

Petty.

9:40

Marly keep your hands to your self. My ears are not for petting. Either set.

9:45

Thank you Rem for taking pity on me and not Jamie. I knew you loved me more.

9:50

Meeeerrlin ten more minutes.

...

I haven't taken one note.

9:55

Copying Rem's notes here I come.

10:00

FREEDOM

10:07

Rem: "See you after double Potions, Pads."

10:09

Fuck double Potions. Without Remmy.

10:15

Me: "Jamie you are pants at Potions."

Jamie: "Says the bloke who got a T on his last Potions essay."

Me: "You mean the one you turned in that ole Sluggie couldn't even grade because it was so horrid?"

Jamie: "Oi shut up before I accidentally spill this on you."

Me: "Pants, Jamie, pants."

10:18

Me: "What're you looking at, Snivelly?"

10:24

Does he know how to do anything other than sneer?

10:35

I'm going to bloody die.

10:37

I'll have to make sure Rem writes my eulogy. If Jamie writes it it'll be "Here likes Sirius Orion 'Padfoot' Black, talentless wanker who liked men and glitter."

10:43

I don't like glitter.

10:46

It's up in the air about men.

10:50

Not all men.

10:53

Just mostly Rem.

10:59

THE POTION IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT COLOR.

11:05

WHY THE HELL AM I TAKING THIS CLASS AGAIN?

11:13

Snivelly: "Fairing all right over there, Black?"

Me: "Just fine, thank you, but you should keep an eye out, you wouldn't want any grease contaminating your potion."

11:18

Arsehole threw a dung beetle at me.

11:23

Let's see how he likes flobberworms.

11:30

"BOOM" was not exactly the reaction I was going for.

11:35

Though it did get us out of class early, so I'm not complaining.

11:40

Jamie: "Brilliant move, back there, Mr. Padfoot."

Me: "Oh thank you, Mr. Prongs."

Marly: "Thanks for the early class, cousin, Siri!"

Me: "Welcome, Marlene dearest!"

Evans: "How can you praise them? They just sent Snape to the hospital wing!"

Marly: "And gave me time to finish my Arithmancy homework. Ciao!"

11:43

A whole 17 minutes to prank.

11:45

Apparently not. Jamie the bastard! Evans is not more important than pranking and certainly not more important than me!

11:53

BORED

11:56

I'VE BEEN REDUCED TO FLIRTING WITH FOURTH YEAR RAVENCLAWS.

12:00

MOONY

12:01

Ahem, I mean FOOD

12:10

Rem: "I can't believe you, blowing up Snape's potion."

Me: "Purely accidental."

Jamie: *with black eye forming, oh Evans* "Snivelly started it anyways."

Rem: "Of course he did."

Marly: "For once, they're right. Snape threw a dung beetle at Sirius' mane."

Rem: "Making pyrotechnics perfectly reasonable."

Me: "I didn't know it was going to happen! (Though I'm not complaining)"

12:15

Me: "How do you put up with me, Moons dear?"

Rem: "You're lucky you're pretty, that's all I'll say."

12:17

DID REMUS JOHN LUPIN JUST FLIRT WITH ME?!

12:20

?!

12:23

CHEEKY BASTARD ISNT EVEN BLUSHING.

12:27

YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING BACK, IDIOT.

12:30

Me: "You know that's why I keep you around."

Rem: "I boost your ego?"

Me: "No, silly Moonikins, you're easy on the eyes. Gives our group more appeal, you know. Birds like blokes like us, smart...attractive. Makes for good publicity."

Rem: *smiling, yes!* "Really, and what about James?"

Me: "Oh I let him in because I felt bad for him you know. I'm very generous."

Jamie: "Generous my arse, remember that time yoaskfhgjsnsjfn"

12:37

I knew I could count on Marly.

12:40

And Moony is laughing, perfect.

12:43

Rem: "Very kind of you, Siri."

12:47

Since when is it Siri? Sure, Pads but Siri?

12:52

I like where this is going.

1:00

Rem: "Shall we? To Arithmancy?"

Me: *hooks arms* "Definitely. I was getting tired of Jamie mooning over his Lily Flower."

Rem: *chuckle* "Poor James, though I suppose Lily is coming around."

Me: "How, he's still a git."

Rem: "Merlin if I know."

1:07

Nott: "SHIRT LIFTERS!"

Me: "What, jealous I've got a hot piece of arse on my arm!"

Rem: "LEAST WE'RE GETTING SOME."

1:10

Me: "Lovely comeback, Rem."

Rem: "Thank you, Siri."

1:14

Welp, there it is again.

1:17

At least I sit next to Moony in this class.

1:23

He smells like chocolate. Brownies? Not the fun kind though.

1:32

Merlin, these trains of though aren't good.

1:40

Get some

Love, Marly.

No.

1:46

Why is she trying to ruin my life.

1:48

I bet it's the Potter blood in her veins. Evil.

1:50

Ugh, twenty more minutes.

Are you even paying attention? -Moony

1:52

Haha, nope. But I have you, right? *puppy dog eyes* -Padfoot

1:55

Those eyes will cause the fall of Britain. -Moony

1:57

Again, the flirting. This is wonderful.

Flattery will get you everywhere, my dear Moonikins. -Padfoot

2:00

What counts as everywhere? ;) -Moony

2:05

He did not.

2:07

Oh he did.

2:10

He's so bloody adorable. Merlin, he's blushing.

2:14

Rem: "Where are you dragging me to, Siri, we're going to be late to Charms."

Me: "Bollocks, Charms, you can't just opening flirt with me and expect me not to notice!"

Rem: "Really? It hasn't made a difference the last few months."

Me: "You—what."

Rem: "Sirius Black, speechless? Well...ah...Marlene may have helped me. I gave her some tips with Dorcas and she um..."

Me: "Bloody McKinnon. Should've known."

2:16

Merlin's woolen mittens, how does he get his lips so soft?

2:17

He smells like chocolate. And tastes like it too.

2:18

His hair, gods.

2:23

Rem: *Panting* "Glad I finally got through that thick canine skull of yours."

Me: "Me too."

Rem: "Guess we're skipping Charms."

Me: "Definitely skipping Charms. I know a nice little broom closet, by the statue of the First Headmaster."

Rem: "Sounds brilliant."

2:25

HAHA FUCK JAMES IM GETTING LAID WOOHOO!

Well no porn for you. But anyways, Merry Christmas Ash. And for the rest of you thanks for reading and don't forget, reviews are love.