Here's the first part of my fic based on the song Wasting All These Tears by Cassadee Pope. It is EO pairing in THIS chapter, however the conclusion (Chapter 2) will be Livid. This is just insanely smutty, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read.

And you left me
Standing on the corner crying
Feeling like a fool for trying
I don't even remember why
I'm wasting all these tears on you
I wish I could erase our memory
'Cause you didn't give a damn about me
And finally I'm through
Wasting all these tears on you

It had been three months since Elliot shot and killed Jenna in the squadroom. Three months since Jenna killed Sister Peg.

I remember the feeling of horror that ran through my veins when I felt for Sister Peg's pulse only to feel nothing. I looked up at Elliot, the tears stinging my eyes. "She's gone," I whispered.

I could tell that something inside of him snapped the moment his bullet hit Jenna. Once statements were taken and Elliot was officially put on suspension, I walked out with him, climbing into the drivers side of the car, looking over at him. "Where to?"

"Your place," he said, his voice gritty and raw.

I nodded. "You want to grab anything on the way over?" I asked gently, starting the car and heading on my way to my apartment.

"You got bourbon?"

"Fresh bottle."

"Just drive."

When we arrived to my apartment building we walked into my apartment. I went into the kitchen and pulled the full bottle of bourbon out of the cabinet. I grabbed two glasses, pouring some of the rich amber liquid into each, handing him one. We both drank the liquid down quickly.

I looked at him. "You want to sit?"

He shook his head, pouring himself more bourbon then he looked at me. "I killed a kid, Liv. A child is dead because of me."

"El, she opened fire in a squadroom full of cops. She killed a suspect and an innocent bystander. If it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. You did what you had to."

"It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "Liv, I need to forget. How do you forget?"

"El I-"

"Please. How?"

I could tell he was desperate. He was begging, tears in his eyes. "I usually find someone in a bar. Bring them home. A mourning fuck."

He looked into my eyes. I could feel my heart beating hard against my chest. He stepped towards me, pulling me close and attacking my lips with his. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes again. "Please, Liv. Please, help me forget." His face was nuzzled into my neck, biting softly on my skin.

I let out a soft moan and nodded. I pulled him off my neck and looked into his eyes. "Let's forget together," I whispered. I pulled him in for another kiss, our lips meshing together. He tasted of bourbon and something I could only describe as purely Elliot.

He picked me up and carried me to my couch, laying me down and climbing on top of me, never breaking the kiss. I felt his hands start to explore my body over my clothes. I moaned. I couldn't control myself. I wanted him. I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs. His kiss was unrelenting. I broke the kiss when I needed air, gasping for my next breath.

He kissed my neck and pulled my shirt down, sucking on the tops of my breasts. I arched my back and moaned, my hands clawing at his shirt. I felt him hard against my thigh, my hips bucked up to meet his, grinding against him. He responded with a grunt. I pulled him back down to me and bit on his neck. "Fuck me, El," I whispered in his ear, already breathless.

I took his tie off of him and ripped his shirt open, sending the buttons flying across my living room. My hands wandered over his muscular chest, my nails gently scraping his skin.

He seethed. "Shit, Liv." He say me up, whipping my shirt over my head before pushing me back. He kissed my chest, my whole torso, before slipping one of his strong hands under my back to unhook my bra clasps. He threw my bra to the side once the offending material was off my body. He quickly took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking gently, holding it with his teeth, and flicking his tongue over it. I arched my back and rested my hand on his head.

"Jesus, fuck me, baby."

He looked up at me and smirked. He released my nipple with a 'pop'. "Yeah, you like that?" He asked, his classic Stabler shit eating grin on his face.

I moaned and let out a whiney "Mhmm."

He kissed me again, swallowing my moan as he started to rub me through my pants. My hips moved with his hand. I was desperate for a release. "Easy, baby. Just feel it," he whispered to me.

I pulled his hips to mine by his belt. I unbuckled it and made quick work of getting his pants off. He smirked and did the same with me. We were left, him in his boxers, and I in my lacy thong, grinding against each other. I felt him push my panties to the side, slipping a thick finger inside of me, working me good.

He seethed again, feeling how wet and aroused I truly was. He could feel it, and we could both hear it, every time he pumped his finger in and out of me. "Ooh, your pussy is so wet, baby."

His dirty talk made my eyes roll into the back of my head. Elliot Stabler, good Catholic little choir boy, just told me my pussy was wet, which made me even wetter. "El, baby, please fuck me!" I shouted, needing to feel him inside of me.

He pushed another finger inside of me and towered over me as his fingers pistoned in and out of me, his rough palm rubbing against my clit. "You're going to come for me just like this baby. Let me make you squirt, lick you clean when you're done."

I wasn't a squirter, but I had a feeling this man would make me one. His fingers were relentless, teasing my g-spot and my clit at the same time, filling me so completely with his fingers. I could feel it. He started to move his fingers up and down inside of me, and that was it, the next thing I knew I felt fluids gushing from my core, and he smirked. "Yeah, baby. That's it. Ride it baby, ride it good," he whispered.

I was screaming loudly from the sensations that I was experiencing, many of them for the first time. "Fuck! Elliot, oh fuck yes! Aah, uh huh." My hips were grinding hard and fast into his hand as my earth shattering orgasm took over my body. I pulled him in and kissed him passionately as I came down from my high. He pulled his fingers from me and I let out a groan. He licked them clean then proceeded to kiss down my body, licking my ejaculate from my inner thighs and my mound. I gasped and tried to pull him up. "Shit baby, please."

He shook his head, his tongue moving with his head, sending shock waves through my body. My head fell back and I let out a low, guttural moan. My back arched and my hand shot to his head, keeping him in place as he quickly brought on my second orgasm of the night. "Fuuuuuuck!"

He smiled and kissed back up to my lips, letting me taste myself on him. "Fuck, you taste incredible."

I smirked and pushed him up and got him sitting, I pulled my now sopping wet thong off, tossing it somewhere and got down in front of him on my knees. I pulled his boxers off and started stroking his long, thick dick with my hand. "So hard, baby. I can't wait to feel it in my pussy, getting deep inside of me, filling my tight, soaking wet pussy so good."

He let his head fall back and groaned. "Shit." I put my lips around the head of his dick and looked up at him, only to have him moan again. "Ah, fuck, Liv. Baby, don't look at me that way."

I released him and licked up his shaft as if he were a lollipop or ice cream cone. "You want me to suck your dick or you want me to ride it? You want my lips or my pussy wrapped around it, right now?"

"Suck me, baby. Suck me dry."

I smirked and went back to my former ministrations, my head bobbing up and down as my lips ran over his dick. I felt his hands tangle in my hair, holding it so he could watch me. I looked up at him and started to play with his balls. He gasped and bucked his hips into mine. I took him all in, the tip of his dick at the back of my throat. I felt his dick tighten and twitch, and I knew he was close. I kept playing with his balls, swirling my tongue around him until I tasted his cum in my mouth. I moaned and swallowed every drop he have me. I kissed back up to his lips, straddling him and kissing him hard. We tasted each other on our lips, we tasted what we tasted like together. And it was damn near heavenly.

I started grinding my hips into his, feeling him getting hard again. I smirked. "I want your hard, long, thick dick in my soaking wet pussy baby. I want to ride you hard, fast, get my breasts bouncing for you," I whispered, biting his neck.

He groaned and put his hands on my hips. "Ride me like you're at Coney Island baby. Fuck!"

I smirked and took him in my hand, guiding myself over him, moaning as he sunk deeper and deeper inside of me. I waited a moment, needed just a second to adjust to his impressive length. I started to bounce my body up and down, riding him hard and fast, my hands resting on his knees, my breasts and pussy in full view for him.

I wasn't ashamed to admit I knew what men liked. I knew they liked to watch their dick pistoning in and out of a pussy. I knew they liked to see as much of a woman's body as possible. I made sure to always deliver.

His hands rested on my hips, aiding me as I rode him hard. He slapped my ass, gripped my hair, and gently tugged. His fingers found my clit and vigorously started to rub it. I let out another scream of pleasure as I fell forward, into him, my lips meeting his. "Fuck yeah. Oh shit. Fuck that pussy good."

He groaned and maneuvered us so I was back on my back, and he had one knee on the couch, kneeling. His other foot rested on the floor. He lifted my hips, pulling my legs over his shoulders as he continued to pound inside of me, still running my clit. "Come on Liv. Come for me again. I'm right here."

I let my head push further into the pillow and let out a silent scream as my third, and final, orgasm for the night, tore through my hot, sweaty body. "Oh, Elliot!" I managed, feeling his cum inside of me, my body still shaking from one of the most intense fucks I'd ever had in my life.

He collapsed on top of me, groaning in ecstasy. He brushed a lock of hair from my eyes and smiled. He kissed me softly, stroked my face. "Thank you."

I looked up at him and let out a moan. "No, thank you." I smiled and lay by head back, closing my eyes. I felt his weight push off of me and heard rummaging about. "What are you doing, El?" I asked, thoroughly fucked and exhausted.

"I uh... I just remembered that Eli has a soccer game in a couple hours. You... You want to come?"

My heart sank. How could I have been stupid enough to think he'd fuck me, bring me to new heights, and actually stay and fall asleep with me? "Er- no. No, you should be with Kathy and the kids right now."

He nodded and walked back over to me, leaning in for a kiss, but I turned my head, his lips landing on my cheek.

"I'll text you later, see how you're doing," I said gently, feeling embarrassed of my nakedness, but too tired to do anything about it.

I didn't hear his response, if he gave one. The next thing I heard was my door close. Once I was sure he was gone, I rolled onto my side, curled up in a ball and bawled my eyes out. I cried for what had just happened. I cried for Sister Peg. I cried for Jenna. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I just wanted to rewind the day and start over, change it, somehow, so I didn't have to feel like this now. Empty. Broken. Hurt.

That was the last time I saw him. The last time I heard from him. That, was three months ago.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista! I'll be finishing this soon.