A/N: So its been a while, a great while. But after the Christmas special I am renewed with Chelsie thoughts. Perhaps the ship has not left port quiet yet but thank God it's at least in the harbor! As always, I don't own them, and reviews are greatly appreciated.

Mrs. Hughes wasn't sure how long they had stood in the water holding hands, starring serenely out at the ocean, it had seemed to her that the world was standing still. It was Mr. Carson who let go first, having subtly noticed that they were now the main entertainment on the beach. After Mrs. Patmore had spotted them in the waves the rest of the staff had taken notice and were quietly whispering between themselves.
"I think I shall head back to dry land Mrs. Hughes, we should begin packing up if we plan to catch our train." He said with the slightest sadness in his voice as he let go of her hand.

"Of course Mr. Carson." She said still looking out at the waves. "Though if you don't mind I'll remain a minute."

He nodded politely and waded back to the shore. He turned once more to look at her, the sun radiating around her, more like a goddess upon the water then a mortal. His breath caught for a minute at the possibility, the idea of 'another way' they had so often discussed. But alas, it was not to be. They had chosen their lives carefully, and now as he drudged back to the others, the sand pulling him harshly back to reality, he knew 'another way' was simply a fantasy.

Mrs. Hughes had remained in the water a few more moments, but the calm she had been enjoying seemed to dissipate when he had dropped her hand. Though she had meant it was a steadying gesture for him, it was clear to her now he had had a great effect on her as well. As she looked at the waves she felt unbalanced somehow, something had changed, had altered and she briefly wondered if she would ever get her balance back.

Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore found themselves side by side on the train on the way back. Daisy and Ivy having fallen asleep across from them, they had begun to chat about the day.

"So Mrs. Hughes, do you care to tell me what was happening out in the water?" Mrs. Patmore asked, testing the waters herself.

"No, I don't care to." Mrs. Hughes said, disliking the way this conversation was now turning.

"Really, it seemed rather a sweet moment, I was hoping you could dispel that with the truth." Mrs. Patmore said, smiling to herself.

"If you must know, Mr. Carson was concerned about his balance and I offered him my hand. No great flirtation there." Mrs. Hughes said, pausing to gauge the cooks reaction. "Besides" she added "we are both getting on in years, a steadying hand can be a great comfort."

"Yes it can." Mrs. Patmore said. "I wonder if he'll have any trouble with his balance at home." She said with a giggle.

At that Mrs. Hughes caught the cooks eye and began to giggle herself at the absurdity of it all.

"I doubt that Mrs. Patmore, I'm sure Mr. Carson will be overly aware of his balance after that. He wouldn't be the perfect butler if he didn't."

"It seems he's always a butler first and a man second, if at all." Mrs. Patmore said, her giggles dying down and a sadness coming over her.

"I suppose we all feel that way really, I cant remember the last time I was consciously aware that I was a woman. Somehow I always feel the housekeeper, even at the sea I kept looking over to make sure everyone was alright, that Daisy and Ivy weren't fighting and Mr. Bates wasn't over tired. What I want to know is," she said leaning in close to the cook, "what silly thing will he pick a fight about when we return."

"Why would he ruin a perfect day by picking a fight?" Mrs. Patmore asked confused.

"Well it'll be the only way to show the staff we aren't a pair of love birds. I imagine he will say something very rude, get me very cross and we wont be speaking for several days." She paused, letting it sink in with the cook. "Besides, if we don't fall out everyone will be convinced we're mad for each other and Lady Mary will be planning a wedding before we know it." She said, trying hard to giggle, wishing to hide the hurt in her voice. She hadn't expected that speaking the reality would hurt so bitterly.

"And would it be the worst thing in the world to be married to him?" Mrs. Patmore asked.

"It would be, at least to be married to the butler. I think being married to a man might be nice, but alas he wont be simply a man until the day he dies. And for that matter I probably wont be a woman until I drop dead balancing my ledgers."

"Well isn't that a pleasant thought." Mrs. Patmore said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"I think I'll close my eyes for a bit Mrs. Patmore. It will likely be the only rest I'll get for a few days." And with that Mrs. Hughes closed her eyes, not really tired just simply tired of speaking and tired of thinking of things that made her sad.

Mr. Carson had managed to overhear the whole conversation, having switched seats with James just after the train had departed. As he glanced out the window at the passing country side he began to mull over Mrs. Hughes words. Was he really just a butler and nothing more? Could he be something more? Never in his life had he felt the great pull to marry and have children but he had felt the pull to be a great man in a great house, and since he could not be lord of the manor he could at least be captain of the crew. But now…he wondered, had it all been for naught? Could the warm arms of a woman be sweeter then the sweat of the brow at the end of a long day. As he sat on the train sipping his tea he wondered what his life was for, what was all the hard work and money and security for in the end? Without a hand to help him balance was he lost? He didn't know, but he intended to find out.