Cristina sighed as she sat back on the bar stool after taking another shot of whiskey. She was quickly losing her edge as she continued to hammer down shot after shot, something about this night and this disastrous wedding was making her feel ill at ease, her brain was working on over drive and she hated that in light of Jackson's confession, she couldn't help but contemplate her past, her present and her future, she had absolutely no idea on how to distinguish the feeling at the pit of her stomach, it was so unsettling, so eerie, and unwelcoming, and it wouldn't budge. No matter how hard she tried to shake off the unwanted thoughts that plagued her mind or wish away the drowning sorrow the made it so damn hard to breathe, it just refused to retreat and let her be at peace.

She was ashamed of herself, of her juvenile behavior, she was not one for one night stands nor casual sexual escapades, and now she had two under her belt, Dr. Parker and Dr. Ross, and the irony of both these sex friends was that they didn't happen when she was young and experimenting, they happened when she was a grown women who was sulking over a man, in fact it was the same man, one man that had caused her to abandon her cognizance and drove her to act out on both occasions, would this man's ghost forever haunt her for the rest of her life? Was that the purpose he would now serve in her story? As somebody who she used to know, somebody that he had to go through to get to his happily ever after? She shivered at the thought as she signaled for another round of drinks for herself and her new friend.

She leaned her forearms on the counter of the bar and tilted her head slightly to listen to him as he coyly tried to test the waters between him and her, she could tell he was intrigued, and if it was not for the explosive non-wedding that had just occured and the feelings it conjured up then she might have entertained the idea to make her feel better about herself, make her feel wanted and loved, but tonight she just couldn't stop herself from being suffocated by her own internal turmoil.

The wedding didn't happen, and Cristina knew it wouldn't as soon as she saw Jackson stand up, and now here they were at the reception in the heart of Seattle in this beautiful ballroom at the Hilton as one of the would-be groomsmen tried very hard to peak Cristina's interest. She tried to listen to his attempts but they were falling on deaf ears, which was kind of depressing since this guy was incredibly good-looking and charming, but no matter how cute his dimples were and how smooth his pale skin seemed against his bright blue eyes, he just reminded her of a poor women's Owen, and she wanted the real thing, not a stand in. She tried to be as polite as possible and seem interested in what he was saying but holding a conversation was becoming extremely hard for her to do when she had a million other thoughts running through her mind, so she was relieved when he asked her to dance.

They made their way to the dance floor and she could immediately feel a pair of crystal blue orbs piercing away at her back, staring intently and unable to look away even when she caught his gaze and made eye-contact. He was standing close to the dance floor talking to some of their friends, she surveyed his surroundings but could't locate Emma anywhere, she must have left after the ceremony. She had to look away, she didn't want her guard to go down like it had when the priest was reiterating the importance of this day, the importance of a union, a promise made by two people, a promise that would never be broken. Owen and her had broken those vows and promises they made to each other, and in that moment she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret, of fear and most of all she couldn't escape the longing that just wouldn't deteriorate.

She turned her attention to her dance partner and tried to no avail to act like she was enjoying their embrace as his hands snaked around her waist and her hands lay attentively on each of his shoulders, when that didn't work, she tried to pay attention to the song that was being played. The words blared through the speakers and her breath caught in her throat as the words enveloped all around her, so clear and defiant, she could no longer hear the melody of the song, just the words that accompanied it.

I'm still livin' with your goodbye
And you're just goin' on with your life

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

She felt like the wind was knocked out of her, like she was completely helpless, she rested her head on his shoulder to try and stabilize her shaky legs and keep from falling apart, and then again, for the second time she caught him staring and she new instantly that they were both feeling the same exact emotions pulsing through their bodies. His eyes always gave him away, they looked tortured, helpless and angry. She wondered how he could of moved on so fast? Why was it so easy for him to accept her wishes and walk away and move on, and completely forget about her, about the love they shared, and why couldn't she move on? What was his secret? Did he just love Emma more then her? And is that why it was so easy for him to be happy again while she was still trying to recover. He told her that he would never love another woman like he loved her, that she was the love of his life, now that statement could just be added to another broken promise. Still though, she could see his lips part accompanied by a heavy sigh as her eyes met his and she knew instantly that the words were resonating with him just as much as her.

I hear you're doin' fine
Seems like you're doin' well
As far as I can tell

Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet

So tell me what your secret is
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did

She could tell that he was listening to the words just as much as he remained standing there watching her dance with another man. And for the first time she saw it flicker across his eyes, it was an emotion that she thought she would never see him feel, never witness him drown in, but there it was….regret, and in this moment in time, that feeling of loss was eating him alive. He had a hand in his trouser pocket and a hand nursing a shot of scotch, and even though the people around him were having an animated conversation, he seemed oblivious to it all.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

As the song ended her eyes met Owens again before she saw Jackson who was standing next to him, make his way towards Cristina and tugged her by the hand, apologizing to her dance partner for taking her away. He led her to the group that included most of their friends and gave her a quick peck on the cheek and slouched his arm around her shoulder.

"If it wasn't for Cristina, I probably would of never mustered up the courage to stop the wedding." He professed as he looked lovingly at April. Everyone gasped in surprise as Cristina flinched at his revelation. Damn him, why did he have to make it a point to tell everyone, she thought.

"Wha-, What?" April asked in confusion as she shook her head.

Meredith mirrored her look and added, "Cristina, you convinced him to stop the wedding?"

"I did not convince him to do anything, I didn't even know that he was contemplating stopping the wedding, he asked me a question and I just gave him an answer." She said exasperated and refusing to meet Owen's gaze.

Jackson grinned before he added more to his statement, "Well that's true, but if it wasn't for what you said, I don't think I would of found the gull to express my feelings in front of a whole wedding party and in the middle of a ceremony." He stated.

For the first time Owen spoke, "Well what did she say to you to convince you to stop the wedding?" He asked with intrigue in a somber tone. She met his eyes for a second before looking away, afraid that he would see right through her.

"Nothing, it was a stupid nothing that Jackson took to mean more then it actually did." Cristina stated while giving Jackson the look of death, suppressing his urge to continue with the conversation and let their friends know why her words had such an impact on him.

Jackson just shrugged, "Well it worked either way." He retreated his arm from Cristina's shoulder and made his way towards April and gave her a kiss. Cristina took this as an opportunity to leave before more questions were thrown her way, she even ignored Meredith and pretended that she didn't hear her call out her name while she walked past the group.

She made her way to the bar stool again and ordered another round of shots. She was adjusting her gown when she felt a body sit in the seat right next to her and thought it was the groomsmen with whom she was dancing with earlier.

"You know they probably won't be using that honeymoon suite, it would be a shame to let it go to waste." She stated suggestively as she finished adjusting her dress and looked up at him and gasped in shock.

"Oh…uh…no…I- mean" She took a deep breath, "I thought you were somebody else." She said in embarrassment and shamefulness.

He laughed, it wasn't a whole-hearted laugh, it was sarcastic and angry and cruel.

"So thats what your doing now?" He asked bitterly, "Whoring yourself out to make you feel better about yourself." He knew he was out of line, knew his words were uncalled for and that he would regret them later, but he had so much liquid courage in him and the jealousy was overcoming his whole body, he couldn't control his emotions anymore.

Her heart sank, and her eyes stilled, every emotion radiating through her body flickered across her orbs, God, that stung, did he know about her and Shane? Had Meredith told him or had he found out. She was already ashamed enough, and didn't need him to further deepen her melancholy.

"What I do with my body is none of your concern anymore Owen, and yes, if I feel like fucking ever single guy that walks past me, then I will, its none of your concern or your business, its not like I'm cheating on a husband, I don't have one remember?" Her tone was icy and her eyes were burning holes into his, he felt like her words slapped him across the face, there it was again, his infidelity brought up to the surface once more.

He sighed and silently pleaded with her to see the remorse in his eyes and find a common understanding.

"I still care about you Cristina, and I don't want anybody to take advantage of you, or for you to sell yourself short of what your worth."

"I'm not selling myself short, I'm trying to reconnect, I'm trying to move on, just like you did." She tuned her body to completely face him.

"You know, I was always so consumed in my studies, in school and research that I never got to experience going out and getting drunk and doing stupid things, I mean look at Meredith, she has slept with more guys in her day that she has probably lost count and forget about Alex, I think he's set a new world record." She exclaimed as she played with her shot glass.

"And then there's me, I lost my virginity at 19!, to my teaching assistant and then there was Colin, and Burke and then you." She sighed, "I NEVER had meaningless sex before, it wasn't who I was, but then you cheated on me and made me feel inadequate and unwanted so when I was in Minissotta I slept with a colleague there after I told you never to contact me again, and now I'm trying to move forward in my life, I'm trying to learn how to be with someone else."

Owen's heart sank at her revelation, he didn't know how to respond or console her, he shuddered at the thought of her having countless one-night-stands, he didn't want to think about her having sex with other men.

She took another shot and almost immediately felt someone come up and lean over her other shoulder against the bar stool. She was now fully inebriated and was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol flooding her veins and clouding her judgment.

"There you are, I was wondering if you sneaked out without me." He smirked at her while Owen could feel his anger rising with every second he had to watch this scene unfold.

"Lets get out of here." He suggested. 'I have a room booked if you wanna come up for a night cap or we could order room service?" He offered, oblivious to the daggers Owen was shooting his way.

"But I'm not hungry nor thirsty.' She replied hastily through hooded lids, what she really wanted to do was sleep, and it was obvious to her now that she was drunk.

"Well we could do other things too…."

Owen had, had enough, "She's not interested buddy, she's too drunk to consent anyway." He answered for her through gritted teeth.

"I'm not that drunk." She fired back as she tried unsuccessfully to stand with her own to feet but failed miserably as she fell into the groomsmen's arms.

She giggled, something Cristina never did, "oh my, my own knight in shinning armor," She cooed close to his ear, "Lets go upstairs, I'll be the damsel in distress and you can save me with your sword." She laughed at her drunken attempt at a pick-up line. He couldn't help but find her even sexier.

"Cristina," Owen tried to plead with her, "Your drunk, I can't let you do something you will regret tomorrow." He stated while standing up and grabbing her by the arm and removing her from this strange mans embrace. She stumbled until Owen put his arm around her waist, damn him, she thought, why did it have have to feel so right.

"Who are you?" He asked annoyed that Owen was getting in the way of him scoring with the hot bridesmaid. "And why are you trying to cock block me?" He asked clearly irritated.

"I'm her husband." He proclaimed in the same tone, "Who the hell are you?" Owen countered. The groomsmen looked shocked and confused at the same time before Cristina chirped in. "He's my EX- husband, who has a girlfriend and is clearly getting laid but doesn't seem to want his Ex-wife to do the same." She said mirroring both their tones and hoping that Owen wasn't scaring off the handsome man.

"Ok, well, I'm heading up to my room, do you care to join or do you wanna sit here next to your brooding ex-husband? He asked but before Cristina could get a word in, Owen chimed in, "I already told you she's too drunk to consent, and if you don't leave within the next five seconds my fist will make contact with your face and the results won't be pretty." Owen's tone was threatening but he refused to move for a second looking between Owen and Cristina, but he quickly retreated and left when Owen started counting from five to one.

"Was that really necessary?" Cristina asked.

"Yes it was necessary, you shouldn't be someones one night stand, you should be someones forever." He turned his head to face hers and suppressed the desire to kiss her, her lips were stained by the red wine she consumed earlier in the night and they were so plump and juicy, inviting and luring him to taste them.

"Just not your forever." Her eyes met his and she fought hard to keep her emotions at bay. She still wanted to leave with her dignity in tact. She took his arm and removed it from her waist and didn't give him a moment to respond, without looking back she made her way out the ballroom and into the lobby of the hotel.

Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
And did you ever miss me?
Ever long to kiss me?!
Oh baby

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all