Chapter 4 – Star Wars Part 2

A/N: Hi again! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! Especially to tmntfan4ever. I know it's so long but please refrain from saying the wrong stuff. I do not plan to abandon this as far as I know. School just got in the way. And it's not at all easy to update, it's hard to write humor without sounding so forced. And I can't do the requests of every reviewer in here so I'm really sorry about that. But I must warn you now, updating will be very hard for me this month because my schoolwork is all piled up! Projects, extracurriculars, exams, quizzes, everything that's everything in school is now being piled on us this month so I'm really busy. I only updated now because it's a holiday in here. (See? instead of resting I updated. That's an incredible thing for me already) So now that that's out of the way, this is Star Wars, the prequels. Just read on... I'm just gonna go back to my bed and collapse.

Movie: Star Wars I – The Phantom Menace

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"Hey hey! Let's watch it now! NOW!" Mikey practically screeched and all people, turtles and rats alike in the vicinity, have to cover their ears from the blast.

"Shut up Mikey, we know." Leo smiled as they all watched Don insert the cd, Mikey practically screaming in his ears to hurry up. Mike hasn't been able to sleep from excitement and Splinter has to do everything in his power to stop him from turning on the TV during practice.

"I knew this was a bad idea from the start Leo." Raph whispered to him harshly. "Don nearly has to lock all our money in his top secret vault full of those camera and sensor thingamabobs to stop Mikey from buying Darth Vader action figures."

"I know and I'm starting to regret it." Leo muttered back.

"You talkin' bout me dudes?" Mikey eyed them both.

"You're damn right we are."

"Thanks!"

Leo raised an eyebrow and Raph shrugged. They watched as Don crashed on the couch beside Mikey, who was giggling as he pushed some buttons on the remote.

"By the way, this is my first time watching the prequels so be as silent as you can guys." Leo told them.

"Like that could stop Mikey from blabbering his mouth off."

"HEY!"

"Stop it now! It's playing!"

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

Raph eyed Don suspiciously. "No more wacky ideas?"

Don nodded with a huge grin. "No more wacky ideas."

Leo lowered the volume and sure enough, Don didn't do anything this time. The trumpets and horns boomed silently in the background if that even makes sense and the boys lived happily ever after. (A/N: Yeah right :P)

"Who's the dude with the long hair?"

"He's Obi Wan's master, Qui Gon."

"You noticed they both have two names? Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Qui Gon-"

"Okay!"

"Enough!"

"SHADDAP!"

"Yeesh. Don't get your panties in a twist- OOWW!"

"Look at all those robots! And the highly advanced machinery! Oh man, I can't wait for techs to evolve like that! Wait, maybe if I stole some from the Kraang I can develop those and I'll be sooo rich it's gonna hurt!"

"Don, remember the genre of the movie? Sci fi AND fantasy!"

"Well, I can make it real if I want to. Remember that aliens are supposed to be sci fi and fantasy as well and look at our good ole buddies, the Kraang and Triceratons now."

"Hey, if you don't mind. We're trying to watch here. So if you would just SHUT YOUR TRAPS others here can watch how the Queen of Naboo escapes those armies!"

…

"Good."

"Hear that? Queen of Naboo." Mikey snickered.

"I think he got over Princess Leia already."

"Raphie the playboy- YEEOOOWW! Jeez, quit hitting my precious head!"

"Annoying little critter."

"Who?"

"That piece of s-"

"He meant JarJar Binks."

"Oh… that guy.."

"He's like.. the more annoying and stupid version of 3PO!"

"I bet you they're both the ancestors of our very own Mikey here."

"Leo… that was actually a good comeback! I didn't know you had it in you."

"Was that an insult or compliment?"

"Uh… insult."

"I thought so."

"That boy just told the Queen's handmaiden that she's an angel! How adorable was that? But wait.. where is Anakin? Isn't he supposed to show up now because he's like, the main character here?"

"Uh.. Mikey? That is Anakin."

"What are you talking about? He's just a kid!"

"Dammit, are ya really that dense? This is the story of how he became Vader. So naturally, we get to see his freakin childhood."

"So that means there won't be much action here. I mean, how could he fight if he's just a kid? No epic lightsaber duels?"

"You're forgetting that there's still Obi Wan and Qui Gon. You know, the guys who like, escaped a chamber full of poisonous gas earlier?"

"Like what we did with the Kraang when we discovered April Derp!"

"MIKEY!"

"Oohh crap. Uh.. sorry Don."

"Now you're in for it."

"Good luck pal. It's been nice wiping the floor with you for fifteen years."

"What?! No! Don't leave me alone. GUYS!"

"Now Mikey, what were you saying again? Something about a derp?"

"GAAAHHH!?"

"And just as I thought that we will never see 3PO again, they had to bring him in."

"Why do you hate him so much Raph?"

"He's just so annoying and talkative and… and DUMB. And add that fool JarJar Binks and we'll all be done for."

"I don't know, he seems pretty cool to me."

…

"Only you would think that Mikey. Only you."

"God, WHY WON'T THE KID'S RACING POD START?! The race is freakin halfway through already!"

"Didn't you see? Another alien did something to it."

"That alien removed something from the engine part. I didn't see because it's just too fast."

"Dude, that's freakin CHEATING!"

"Oh wait, it's starting up now.."

"Anakin's a dang good racer! And his pod is frickin fast! You would think it wouldn't work properly because of that $$#0[{ earlier. You know what? I guess I'm gonna like it on Tatooine."

"You wanna be a slave Raph? Cause that'll be just fine with me. I wanna settle on Naboo. Or maybe Alderaan. It's pretty peaceful in there."

"Dude, Coruscant is the BEST. Why? Because that's the planet where ALL the freakin Jedi are training! And I bet Leo and I would be like, the best Jedis in there and Master Splinter'll be like Yoda, the supreme Jedi of all Jedishness!"

"You know what, I think I will like it in Coruscant."

"Wait, shut up. The kid's gonna blow up Sebulba into alien cubes."

...

"Did he really just say that?"

"Dudes, Raph's CHANGED."

"Don't think I can't hear you when you're just a few inches from me Mikey."

"WHAT?! Queen Amidala was that handmaiden Padme the whole time?!"

"You're over-reacting."

"Why won't I? I mean, DUDE! Then that means the Queen was fake all along! So many revelations! Oh shoot, I think I'm hyper ventilating."

"Okay, calm down Mikey. Just breathe and everything will be alright."

*Rolls eyes* "That's enough Mike. Quit pissing Raph off and we can all live happily ever after."

Long pause.

"Leo, you watch fairytales?"

"You know. I just noticed.. the robots here are easier to beat than the Stormtroopers. Why not just shoot 'em all down like frickin Rambo and get this war over with?"

"Because there's another factor you forgot. And that's their numbers."

"Yep, cause it won't do you much good when you just kept shooting and shooting and the robots just kept coming and coming. You'll just waste energy and time."

"That's why they're gonna shoot the satellite that's kinda like mission control dude. Psshhh. I'll drop the science on you later."

*Glares*

"Or not."

End of movie 1….

"Waaaiiittt…. It's over already? Dude, what happened?"

"There's not much action. All I heard are lasers, 3PO, JarJar, Political freakishness, blah blah blah. I thought this was a lot better?"

"Well… some did say that they hated the prequels. I just thought we should check it out."

"Yeah. Who knows, maybe movie two's better."

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Movie: Star Wars II – Attack of the Clones

"Does Anakin become Darth Vader now?"

"No, not yet Mike."

"But here, he gets all lovey-dovey with Padme."

"You mean they -? EWW!"

"No! Not that kind of lovey dovey! Sheesh. I figured you would think like that."

"Oh. Then what kind?"

"Don, don't spoil it. Let the kid find out for himself."

"I am not a kid!"

"Yeah, and Leo dances ballet."

…

"Really? Of all the sarcastic comebacks and you pick that?"

*shrugs*

"HOLY-!"

"What happened?!"

"The spaceship of the Queen exploded!"

"WHAT?! Is she dead? HOW WILL THEY GO LOVEY-DOVEY IF SHE'S DEAD?!"

Long pause.

"Oh.. it's a decoy again."

"But why would they kill the Queen?"

"Same reason they tried to kill her in the first movie."

"Oh man, they really like to use explosions and kill stuff huh?"

"BUT WHERE'S ANAKIN—OW!" *glares at Raph* "You don't have to keep hitting me!"

"Oh! There he is! There's Anakin! And I admit, he looks good-looking! Is this already the part where they go lovey-dovey?"

"No, not yet."

"Ya really want to see that part, don't you?"

"Oh, there it is! Epic chase scene! No movie's complete without that."

"I don't want chase scenes. I want lightsaber duels!"

"Patience Michelangelo."

"Dude, stop imitating Splinter. It's not that effective if you do it."

"There it goes again! Why do they love to cut each other's hands off? And no blood!? I WANT BLOOD!"

"Raph, if you want blood, go watch The Cabin in the Woods or something. But right now, shut up."

"Yeah dude, I still wanna see the part where they go lovey-dovey!"

"LOOK! Anakin and Padme's going on a trip! ALONE! The lovey-dovey part!"

"Ugh, I'd hate to see Mikey's face when they finally have ***."

…

"Did you really have to say that word Raph?"

"Dude, I'd hate to see your face when there is a scene like that. I'll go mental!"

"Try to catch him every night and you'll know what I feel every time."

"Oh, so Fearless is spying on me?"

"No. You're just so goddamn loud!"

"Hey guys, QUIET ALREADY OR THE RATING WILL MOST LIKELY GO UP TO 'M'!"

…

"Dude, did you just break the fourth freaking wall?"

"AWW! They're so sweet! With the rolling in the grass thingy and the dinner scene. It's just so romantic."

"Who knew Vader is even capable of loving someone?"

"Logical answer: Because he's still a teen here."

"He got you good Raph."

"I know that! It's just a figure of speech!"

"Wow, who knew Raph spouts figures of speeches?"

"Did you even know what you said Mikey?"

"Uhh no."

"AARRGHH! The white walls are blinding me!"

"Where and why is Obi-Wan in the middle of freakin nowhere?"

"I think he's in a mission there."

"Thanks for that piece of VERY useful advice Fearless. Why else would he go to a mushroom-shaped building in the middle of a raging storm and sea?"

"Oh! Because he has a date with that pretty tall alien lady!"

"You are so hopeless Mike."

"Now there's the fight I've been waiting for! The whole movie's pretty peaceful until now."

"Who's fighting Obi-Wan again?"

"Supposedly, a guy in a rocket suit called Jango Fett who also has a clone son named Boba Fett."

"Pfft. What kind of father names his son Boba?"

"Apparently, a father named Jango."

"Good one Don."

"Why is Anakin having visions about women?"

"Mikey, that's his mother. In pain."

"Oh. So that's why he's so worried…"

"And now he just found out his mother's been kidnapped by a whole tribe of bloody aliens again. Poor kid. No wonder he became evil."

"Dude he's coming after them! I have a feeling there's going to be fighting soon."

Long pause…..

"Oh my god! The mother's state!"

"What did the bloody aliens do? Torture her?"

"Obviously. And now he's slaughtering them! I don't know if I should support him or not now…"

"Well I frickin support him! The freaks deserve all that **** coming at them! AND it's getting bloody!"

"Oh Raph..."

"Okay, for a Jedi Master, Obi-Wan's kinda dumb. Why did he let himself get captured?"

"It's a surprise attack Raph! Naturally, he's unprepared!"

"I still think it's stupid."

…

"And now the lovers go to rescue him. I'll bet you five bucks they get captured too."

"You're on."

A verrryyyy long pause…

"HA! You lose Raph. GIMME THE MONEY!"

"Shut your trap Mike, I'm trying to count here!"

*snicker* "Count?"

"You said something Leo?"

"Queen Amidala's WAY cooler than Princess Leia, I can give her that."

"She's not just some kind of damsel in distress. I can see why Anakin took a liking to her."

"Dude, of course they'll escape the animals. They're the protagonists. They couldn't die."

"Yeah but it's still pretty epic."

…

"LOOK! It's Mace Windu!"

"So that means…."

"The cavalry has arrived!"

"I will finally get to see Yoda fight."

"Let's see if he's like Splinter."

Long pause….

"Definitely like Splinter."

"Dudes! IT'S WAR IN THERE!"

"This is the climax isn't it? It's so awesome! I didn't know there're plenty of Jedi!"

… "Wow, I now know why the Jedi became extinct. They're cornered by the robots again."

"And look, the idiot 3PO's in trouble again. Just kill him now George Lucas!"

"Count Dooku's escaping! Go after him Obi-Wan!"

"Padme fell! PADME FELL!"

"We know!"

"Oh poor Anakin! Just typical to have him experience these kind of things. No person's gonna stay good after all this stuff."

"And… his arm's sliced off again. Seriously guys, this is getting too old."

"Just ignore that. Look at the bright side, Yoda's battling him now. And he's freaking GOOD."

…

"YODA! Why did you let Dooku escape?! You could've prevented it! Argh!"

"And you just said he's good."

"Whatever."

End of movie 2…

"Okay, so I admit that it's slightly more action-packed than movie 1, but it's still a bit dull. I mean, clones? Really?"

"I know right? Let's just hope movie 3, the LAST movie, will satisfy us."

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Movie: Star Wars III – Revenge Of The Sith

"Here it is… The thing we've all been waiting for…. The part where Anakin Skywalker finally turns to the Dark Side!"

"I must admit I'm kinda curious as well…"

"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

*click*

"Wow! What an opening scene! Action in its fullest!"

"And the elevator scene, hilarious!"

"I liked the crash landing with the gigantic spaceship better if you ask me. It proves that Anakin's still a great pilot. Though with the speed and the velocity of the ship, combined by the wrong way it entered the atmosphere, I still could tell that the landing's impossible in real life."

"What if I told you no one cares Don?"

"Ouch Raph."

"Wait a minute, Padme is PREGNANT?! When did they do 'it'?!"

"Honestly Raph, if I don't know any better, I would say that you only watch this to get a hold of those scenes."

"Well what can I say? I'm a growing boy after all."

"My computer will probably overload if I scan your testosterone levels Raph."

"Ha-ha Don, very funny."

"Anakin's having visions about women again? What is it with this guy?"

"He's having visions about his wife Mikey. He's not really cheating on her or anything."

"Hmmph. Could've fooled me."

"Who's the guy Anakin's friends with?"

"He's called Chancellor Palpatine. He's apparently pretty powerful in the political world."

"Great, it's politics again. The only thing I know about politics is that the Presidents are the stuck-up corrupted people."

"Not necessarily. Some have only the people's best interests at heart."

"Whatever. All I know is that this Chancellor guy cannot be trusted. You can just see his evil mask beneath."

"Wow. Who else knows Raph is an observant guy?"

"I certainly don't."

"Ha! I knew that Chancellor's bad news! And now Windu's gonna finish him off!"

"Windu's gonna put an end of this quickly."

Long pause…

"NOOO! WINDU! DAMN YOU ANAKIN! HOW COULD YOU!"

"I sure didn't see that one coming!"

"That double-crossing git! He's the bloody reason Windu, the Nick Fury in Avengers, is DEAD!"

"And now he became Darth bloody Vader. I hate him already!"

"And the war's now starting officially."

"Darth Vader and Sidious (previously Palpatine) is killing the Jedi children! OH NO!"

"So that's how they really became extinct!"

"I'm starting to like this movie. It's killing time!"

"Raph, stop. You're not helping at all."

"Oh, Yoda and Obi-Wan survived? And now they're going after Anakin and Sidious? What the hell would happen? As I recall, they're all still alive in the sequels."

"Who knows? Why don't you shut up so we can find out?"

*mumbles something incoherently*

"Typical that Yoda would go after the Emperor. But having Obi-Wan confront his previous apprentice and friend is just so sad."

"Well, somebody's gotta do the job."

…

"Wait a minute, Padme has no idea what's going on?! She didn't know her husband just became a Sith lord? What the hell?"

"That's why Obi-Wan's informing her idiot."

…

"Oh that's clever of him. Having Padme lead him to where Anakin is, that is."

"I could guess that this confrontation's not gonna end good at all."

"Wow, Yoda's truly skilled for his age!"

"And the way he redirected the Force Lightning is just pure awesomeness!"

"But Darth Sidious is more in his prime than Yoda. So… I still don't know the outcome of the battle."

…

"YODA! Don't freakin fall! DON'T!"

"The two masters battling for their lives. God, the epicness."

"Raph, that's not even a word."

"Stupid grammar Nazi…"

*thunk!*

"OWW! Goddammit Don! That's pure wood!"

"Serves you right idiot."

"SHHH! Something's happening guys!"

Long pause…

"What?! Why didn't Yoda finish the battle?"

"Because he knew he's gonna lose. Look, he's all weak right now."

"The last hope of the Jedi, defeated. God, I can't handle it."

"Wait, there's still Obi-Wan!"

"Seriously? You think he can defeat Anakin? In case you didn't notice, Darth Vader's all powerful in the sequels."

"Yeah but ever wonder why he wears the black armor?"

…

"Ohhhh…."

"Yeah…"

"Maybe he got seriously injured in the fight!"

"Good idea."

"Wow, there's such a thing as a volcano planet? Cool."

"Dude, Anakin's seen Obi-Wan! Padme's in deep trouble…"

…

"OH NO! PADME! Stop force-choking her Anakin you evil piece of ****!"

"Wow, I didn't know you cared Raph."

"Shut up!"

"Obi-Wan! Stop him! He's gonna kill her and the baby!"

"Leo, who knew you're so protective of families?"

"Mikey, be quiet!"

…

"Oh shoot, this fight is certainly better than Sidious and Yoda's. Here they're not 'Forcing' (geddit?) each other. It's physical."

"Now that's our forte."

…

"No idiot! You're doing it all wrong! Lean slightly to the left and lock swords with him and-!"

"Be quiet Leo, you're like, ruining the whole thing!"

"Wait, I'm ruining it now? As I recall, you and Mikey are the ones blabbering in front of the TV the whole time!"

"Guys, stop. Okay? Just shut it."

"GUYS! OBI-WAN JUST SLICED OFF ANAKIN'S ARM AND BOTH HIS LEGS! GAAAAAHH!"

"What?!"

"It's all your fault! I didn't see it properly. Rewind it Don!"

"No, it's your fault you missed it. I want to see what's going to happen alright?!

"To leave your enemy to perish without his arm and legs in molten lava is the worst death ever."

"I feel very bad for Anakin now… no wonder he likes to wear that armor."

"Wait! Look! It's Sidious!"

"What's that old canker doing now?"

"He's reviving him, duh."

...

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt."

"And the way they fixed that armor in his body is just UGH!"

"No way, you're squeamish Raph?"

"AM NOT!"

"Sheesh! Don't be such a sour puss."

"Look, Padme's giving birth."

"Oww.. is childbirth really that bad? Oh! So this is what Anakin's vision is about!"

"Correct Mike."

"Oh yeah! So Padme's not really going to die if Anakin didn't go to the Dark Side right?"

"So Anakin's really the one who caused her death and he's not saving her at all. That does make sense."

"What a tragic love story."

"Guys! Luke and Leia finally pushed through and out of Padme!"

"Mikey, that just sounds so wrong."

"So how did they became separated?"

"Because Yoda and Obi-Wan decided to hide them so that Anakin would not use them for his own Dark deeds."

"Clever."

"But it's still sad, no?"

"So Luke ended up in Jabba the Hutt's place right?"

"Tatooine."

"Yeah, that. And Leia went to?"

"Alderaan. She became a princess there."

"And Luke became a slave. Nice choices Obi-Wan. Note the sarcasm."

"Sooo… I guess that ends movie 3 huh."

"I have to say, this totally makes up for movies 1 and 2. I love it!"

"I guess I have to return this to Casey now huh?"

"Don't be sad Raph! You can borrow them anytime you like from your best bud."

"I AM NOT SAD IDIOT!"

"Okay okay…"

"Well then... Goodbye Star Wars. Raph, tell Casey that I love his choice of movies already."

"Tell him yourself. We're all going there."

"Wait, RAPH!"

...

"That jerk, leaving without us..."

"Dude, race you to Casey's place?"

"You. Are. ON."