a/n: i love writing romance but sometimes it's just too much fun to write bromance. implied/obvious outlaw queen/captain swan.

so the joke goes: captain hook, robin hood, and prince charming all walk into a ballroom…..

"The best exit is on the second floor, out the window of the eastern bedchamber."

Hook turns slowly, lowering his gaze from the ballroom balcony and flicking them towards the source of the voice. Robin Hood stands to his left, humming to himself, eyes trained on the very banister Hook had been gauging for climbing.

The two men had met once or twice before—back when Hook and the rest of Storybrooke had returned to the Enchanted Forest the first time, Robin Hood and his band of thieves had been some of the first people they'd come across.

They'd found them after camping a little too closely to the wild Griffin the Merry Men had been tracking. The beast had cornered one of the dwarves, but Regina deposed of the creature with a quick spell at the same time Robin had fired an arrow at it. The result was instead a near-death experience for the queen, who'd managed to freeze the arrow a foot away from her head.

The archer had apologized profusely, but that only seemed to enrage Regina more, which in turn set off Robin, arguing he'd only been trying to save her. To which Regina had replied the last she checked, the cost of chivalry hadn't been her own life, to which Robin snapped at least the price of chivalry was not as expensive as magic—and it all went downhill from there.

At least for a while. Hook isn't sure exactly when it happened, because when he escaped the second curse to find Emma in her Manhattan, Robin and Regina still weren't on the best of terms. (Though that had had to do with Regina seeming rather spooked about something she wouldn't talk to anyone about except Tinkerbell.)

But by the time everyone returned to the Enchanted Forest for good, things had shifted.

They arrived at the ball together, Robin's son in tow. They even appear to be living with Regina at the summer palace, though they both remain persistently evasive on the subject, no matter how much Snow White asks.

Hook still doesn't know Robin particularly well, but he's certainly never disliked his company. In fact, there's something familiar about him, to the extreme that Hook has started wondering if they've shared a cell block at some point, or if he's the same bandit from the wanted posters he saw before the curse hit.

"Pardon, mate?" Hook asks, raising an eyebrow.

Robin raises his right back. "You're scanning the room for exits. I know a thief when I see one."

Hook smirks, turning to give the other man his full attention. "I can't say I know what you're talking about. I'm only here for the refreshments," he says, eyes snapping over to where Emma stands, leaning against a pillar, chatting amiably with her mother. Both women are dressed for the ball; Snow in a strapless lavender number, Emma in a dark, capsleeved, simple red gown with a deep neck.

Simple, but effective, Hook thinks, hand twitching. She'd worn it to match his vest. (Something that certainly hadn't been Emma's idea, one she'd claimed to hate. But when she descended the marble staircase in it, her only comment had been that she'd tried to match his vest, not his face.)

(He already knows he'll never hear the end of it.)

A small, disbelieving murmur sounds from the back of Robin's throat, popping one of the round appetizers into his mouth. (Hook thinks he heard Emma call it a meatball.)

"But if I were to be," Hook adds after a moment, blowing out his breath and tearing his eyes away from Emma, "scanning the room, that is—you'd be wrong."

Robin scoffs, but offers him a good-natured grin. "And where would you make your leave, pirate?"

"There's a pleasantly overgrown patch of ivy scaling the western tower," Hook says confidently, crossing his arms. "Easy in, easy out."

The archer considers this briefly, before a somewhat withering expression passes over his face. "Good sir, I do believe that room houses the princess," Robin laughs, to which Hook's smirk grows. "And, if I'm not mistaken, overlooks the bay where your ship has been docked more nights than most."

Hook opens his mouth, something coy already laced on his tongue, but before he can get a word out, a hand comes down on his shoulder from behind. David stands behind him, grinning in his dress clothes, a white suit with silver brocade. "Robin," He greets amiably. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all, Highness," he returns, dipping into a dubious bow. "We were just marveling at the architecture."

(Hook snorts quietly and tries to play it off into a sneeze.)

"Yeah," Hook chimes in, grinning brightly under David's narrowed look. "We're both, ah, fans of the classic style."

"Excellent craftsmanship," Robin supplies. "I mean, look at those pillars."

"Mmm, don't forget the buttresses," Hook adds, exchanging a cheeky grin with the archer.

"Oh, who could?" Robin replies, biting the inside of his cheek.

David is silent for a few moments, his arms crossed and eyes flicking between the two men suspiciously. "Right," he says finally. "Well…thanks."

"Don't mention it," Robin says, before lowering his voice. "Seriously, don't mention it. Anyway, my good fellows, I spy Regina with a very sleepy bandit in her arms who needs my attending, so I'm off. I'll see you both around, I'm sure." Robin throws them a wry salute before disappearing off to where Regina stands, Roland in her arms as she chats with Tinkerbell.

"What was that all about?" David asks after a minute, as they both watch him go.

"Oh, Dave. Don't be jealous," Hook smirks, patting him on the shoulder. "You're still my best mate."

"Don't flatter yourself," David scowls, though he's still glaring at Robin.

"Well if I didn't, who would?" Hook asks, raising his eyebrows innocently.

"I just know he's a former thief, is all."

Hook's grin widens. "Worried he'll be a bad influence on me?"

"As long as you're with my daughter, I'm allowed to wonder," David snaps, glancing back at the pirate.

"Well mate, you'll be wondering a while then," Hook says, both their eyes wandering over to Emma, now by the banquet table.

David watches him watch Emma for a moment, a small smile growing on his face. "I know," he says softly. "I know, mate. Just…do me a favor and don't invite Robin on the fishing trip next week."

hehe. r & r?