This is Chapter 4 of Dan VS the scientist.

WARNING: For people who are fans of the Twilight movie series (I highly doubt it) you should not read this fanfiction.

I do not own Dan VS, they belong to the Hub.

I also do not own the movie references in this chapter. Also the scientist will not be seen/mentioned in this chapter.

Chapter four: Death of a vampire.

As Dan was out on a mission of revenge with Chris, the females stayed behind. Tyra retrieved the remote from Elise and started flicking through channels. She stopped when she saw a movie that was on called Twilight. She wondered what it was about and decided to watch it. But after thirty minutes, she turned the TV off and screamed so loud, it caused the windows to break,

"TWILIGHT MOVIES!"

Elise was in the kitchen at the time and ran over to Tyra's aid.

"What happened, what's wrong?" Elise asked, examining her.

"This abomination!" Tyra turned the TV on to show the movie Twilight.

"Its just the movie Twili-" Elise was stopped in mid-sentence by Tyra cupping her hand over her mouth.

"This movie is an abomination and a disgrace to vampires everywhere!" Tyra shouted. "We need to get rid of this movie."

"How is it a disgrace?" Elise asked, as she pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. It was like she was dealing with a female version of Dan.

"Let me point out the reasons: 1. Instead of a vampire coming out at night, like they should! It shows a gay teen boy vampire during the daytime. 2. Instead of an actual vampire burning in the sun's rays, they show sparkly girly vampires. 3. The plot made no sense: why would a girl act that depressed?" Tyra said, stating her reasons for hating the movie.

"Ok, look even if you want to get rid of that movie, its already out in the world." Elise stated.

"What?! Have they seen the movie?! Its like watching something from a bad soap opera!" Tyra exclaimed.

"Look, some people, probably 65% of the female population of the world like that movie." Elise countered.

"Then we'll have to delete its source." Tyra proclaimed.

"We?" Elise asked, a bit nervous at the question.

"Yes we! We need to find out where this Edward teen resides." Tyra wrung her hands together with a deviant smile.

"One, how would that solve the 'problem'?" Elise air quoted.

"No Edward, no Twilight Movies." Tyra stated.

"They'll find someone else to play him." Elise responded.

"Please, if a guy was asked to do the part he'd break his arm and say he has to go to the hospital to fix his arm." Tyra stated.

"I'm not getting involved, you can go ahead and fume, because your not leaving this house." Elise stated.

"I'm stronger than you ya know." Tyra stated.

"Please, I've taken down people bigger and stronger than you." Elise smirked.

"I was just stating a fact, and you're going to help me destroy Edward." Tyra glared at Elise. Before Elise could counter, Tyra picked her up and slung her over her shoulder. "And you should drive."

"What, no way! Put me down!" Elise shouted, as she kicked and punched Tyra who was unfazed by the blows.

"Squirm all you want, my body can take it." Tyra stated. She walked over to Chris' destroyed car. "Can you call a taxi?"

"No way, I'm not going to help you kill a celebrity." Elise shouted.

"One, we're not going to kill him. We'll kidnap him and hypnotize him into believing he's a hillbilly." Tyra stated.

"That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard." Elise proclaimed.

"Look, do this one thing for me, and I won't throw you into a busy highway." Tyra threatened, only for Elise to flip the transformed dino on to the ground. Tyra growled and grabbed Elise by her arms and tossed her into the wrecked car. Elise growled and blew a hair that was out of place. "This is what happens when you don't go along with someone." Tyra proclaimed.

"I'm not helping you get rid of a celebrity!" Elise shouted.

"Fine, I guess I'll go alone. I don't need a negative Nancy!" Tyra shouted as she got into the wrecked car.

"I know you're not serious because there's no key in the ignitio-" Elise was cut off by the sound of the engine humming in the car.

"I didn't need one. I hot-wired it." Tyra proclaimed

"How did you learn how to do that?" Elise questioned.

"Gangster movies." Tyra answered. Elise sighed and got into the passenger side before Tyra drove off.

"Jealous that I was going to have fun?" Tyra questioned with a smirk on her face.

"No, I just want to make sure you don't try and kill anyone." Elise replied.

"All I hear is 'I'm Elise, and I have a boring marriage and need excitement'." Tyra mocked Elise's voice as she drove down the street in the car. "Now go on your smart phone and Google where Edward is."

Elise sighed. Now she knew what her husband must be going through right now with Dan. Elise reluctantly pulled out her phone and googled Edward from Twilight.

"It says here that Edward is doing an autograph signing at his summer home, in Van Nuys." Elise told the aggressive dino-girl.

"Good, now let's go there." Tyra floored the gas pedal, going at a dangerous speed.

"Wait, how do you know where to find him?" Elise asked.

"All I have to do is look for a mansion with a bunch of girls standing in front of it." Tyra stated as she drove in a straight direction. After a while they found the Edward Estate, which had a bunch of girls standing in front of it as Tyra predicted. "Told ya." Tyra grinned. They stepped out of the car and walked through the crowd of girls chanting 'Edward!' over and over. "We're in the sea of insanity." Tyra muttered.

"I'm not, but you are." Elise muttered quietly.

They soon made their way to the front, to see Edward signing autographs.

"Stay pretty, Love Edward." Edward wrote on a picture of himself and handed it to a fan-struck girl.

"I LOVE YOU EDWARD!" The fan-struck girl shouted. Tyra pushed the girl aside and stepped in front of Edward.

"Autograph?" Edward offered Tyra, only to get a punch in the face by Tyra.

"Fuckin' ass gay vampire, no!" Tyra proclaimed.

"Oh my god, she hurt our precious Edward!" A fan proclaimed.

"Kill her!" Another fan shouted. The crowd was soon in an uproar and started to chase after Tyra, leaving an annoyed Elise. After a while Elise and Tyra were driving home; Tyra had numerous bruises and a few plugs in her hair.

"We need another plan to get rid of Edward." Tyra proclaimed.

"I thought punching him was your plan to get rid of him?" Elise questioned.

"That was just to assess how difficult it would be to get at him." Tyra stated.

"Look, I got to get home and cook dinner for my husban-" Elise was interrupted by her phone ringing. She looked at it and saw a cute little puppy dog with the name 'Chris' underneath it. "Hey honey." Elise answered.

"Hey Elise, look I'm not going to be home until tomorrow, Dan's making us stay in the hotel for the revenge scheme." Chris stated over the other line.

"Get off the phone we are on an important mission!" Dan shouted over the phone.

"Dan, please, I'm trying to tell Elise that I can't come home yet." Chris replied to Dan.

"Dudes, we should probably go over the plans now." A voice stated that sounded a bit familiar to Elise, but she couldn't place it.

"Alright, just don't do anything illegal." Elise stated.

"I think I passed the line then," Chris muttered.

"What was that?" Elise's voice became strict when she heard that line.

"I said I love you! Goodbye." Chris hung up fast, which made Elise sigh.

"Now, what do you think we should do to get at Edward? I say we get a bunch of wet blankets and beat him senseless." Tyra suggested.

"Look, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll help you." Elise stated.

"Good, now we shou-" Tyra was interrupted by Elise.

"But first we should get reconnaissance on Edward, by going to his mansion at night." Elise suggested.

"Alright, and if we have time, we can beat the crap out of him!" Tyra growled as she pounded her fist into the palm of her hand.

"Now, let's go back to the house so we can get some equipment." Elise stated.

5 hours later...

Elise and Tyra were hiding under the cover of night, behind the Edward Estate. They were dressed in black cotton, ninja outfits, though there was a difference: Elise's outfit had a red scarf, while Tyra's outfit had a green scarf. They crept over to the side of the mansion and found an air vent. Tyra used her bare hands to rip off the air vent, which allowed them to crawl inside. Elise broke open another air vent into an empty room, which made them drop out of the vent.

"Now let's find his Emmy's or gold records and break them over his head." Tyra suggested.

"Recon, not ransack!" Elise gritted through her teeth.

"Whatever!" Tyra growled.

"Now, we should-" Elise stopped when she saw Tyra wasn't standing next to her anymore. Elise looked around and saw Tyra's shadow in Edward's room holding a baseball bat over Edward's heads shadow. Elsie ran into the room and turned the light on, only to see a fake Edward head and Tyra holding a bat.

"What the?! This thing's a fake!" Tyra smashed the fake head with the bat in anger.

"Why would he have a fake mannequin head?" Elise pondered.

"So he can make out with his fucking self!" Tyra shouted.

"What are you two doing here?!" A voice came from behind Elise and Tyra. They turned to see it was a man with a glowing head that looked like Edward's, though his skin was light blue and his eyes were pitch black.

"What the hell?" Tyra blurted out.

"Damn it! You broke my mask!" The man shouted.

"Wait that voice...Edward?" Elise questioned.

"Edward is the fake name I use to blend in with you humans. My name is Zhygon 5 of the Milky Way." Zhygon exclaimed.

"I knew it, you're an alien!" Tyra grinned.

"You see the reason I am here on your planet was to repopulate my species." Zhygon explained. "My people are a very sensitive race, we basically die if we go out in the sun."

"But we saw you in daylight." Elise questioned.

"That's because I had my fake skin on. I used what you people call 'Silly putty' to protect myself from your sun's deadly rays." Zhygon explained. "I started to wonder what should I do about my people dying. We died when a meteor crashed, destroying our planet on impact."

"Your planet can't take a space rock?" Tyra questioned.

"I told you our race was a gentle one, even our planet was weak. Anyway," Zhygon began to explain once more. "I started to wonder about my people's race dying, so I needed a way to keep our species from going extinct. I found out that women who are lonely read romance novels and I made the Twilight book series. Women went crazy over it so I used this to create the movie and voila, Edward was born."

"So, let me get this straight, you made the book series so you can repopulate your species?" Elise asked.

"Honestly, most of that stuff was about mating. People think it reflects their life." Zhygon stated.

"Wait, there's one thing I don't get, how'd you make your skin sparkle in the movie?" Tyra questioned.

"I just used a lighter silly putty." Zhygon stated. "Now that you know my secret, I must kill you."

Tyra growled and punched Zhygon in the face. "That's gonna be hard to do when your fucking nose is bleeding!" Tyra shouted. Zhygon held his face in pain, which allowed the two ninja garbed girls to get out of the room. Just as they were about to get to the door, they were stopped by a giant wolf.

"Do you like it?" Zhygon walked over to them holding a knife. "It's a genetically altered wolf I made for the second movie of Twilight. Jacob, sic em!"

Jacob growled and launched himself at Tyra, only to get a kick to the skull by Tyra. Jacob landed at the feet of his master, Edward.

"Ohh, I think I heard his skull crack." Tyra smirked.

"You think that was the only one? Meet Jacob's family!" Edward whistled, which caused five giant wolves to surround the two sneaky girls.

"Tyra, I got a plan but it involve-" Elise was cut off by Tyra punching the skull of one of the wolves in.

"No plans, time for action!" Tyra exclaimed, as she jumped onto the back of one and snapped its neck. Two wolves charged at Elise, which made her pull out her Ninjato and slice the two wolves down the middle. Tyra cracked the spine of the last Wolf.

"Do you know how hard it was to find a veterinarian for those things?!" Zhygon shouted.

"Time for you to join them." Tyra grinned, she stopped when he pulled a gun on her.

"Do you think you can kill me?!" Zhygon began to do a 'villain has won' ran. As he did so Elise noticed that he was standing under neath a sky light as the morning sun began to shine through. "I'm Edward fucking Bell!"

"Well you know what they say – let it burn." Elise joked.

"Let it burn, what does that mea-" Zhygon was cut off by his head bursting into flames, along with his body as well bursting into dust.

"You know what they say, if you can't take the heat stay out of the sun." Tyra joked, earning a small chuckle from Elise. They soon made their way out of the Estate and back to their own home.

"I have to admit that was exciting." Elise proclaimed, as they walked through the door.

"You don't need to apologize, just make me some breakfast." Tyra smiled. Just as Elise and Tyra were about to calm down from the ordeal. Dan, Chris, and a guy in his early twenties burst through the door and closed it, panting as if a demon was chasing them.

"Dan, Chris, and Ninja Dave?" Elise questioned.

Whaaaaat? Ninja Dave is involved now? I said I'd add him, Now I wanted to do an Elise and Tyra take a bit.

~Ghostdog 2.5