CHAPTER ONE: She was hiding the secret badass in the big jacket.

A/N: This could be the start of something new… like a rivalry! Don't read this chapter if you're a pacifist!

A/N: In advance I will say this once and only once: I do not own Naruto, or anything related to Naruto, its spin offs and other official merchandise. This is a non-profit endeavour. Don't sue me for not wasting screen space with this disclaimer in further chapters.

A/N: Thoughts – italicised and single quoted

Dialogue – double quoted

Emphasis in dialogue – single quotes or italics or both for extra flavour!

Inner Sakura – single quotes, italics and underlined.

A/N: The Shinobi Dictionary at the bottom of every chapter will explain original concepts, techniques and some semi-canon ones you might not be familiar with. (Like from the video games and movies and filler and stuff - that's what I'm referring to by semi-canon) Mostly though, I just spam the section with horrible jokes. Approach with caution.

A/N: For the most part I'll be following a regular schedule, updating weekly.

A/N: Please review and fill the review hole in my heart.

A/N: At the bottom of this chapter you will find a Conversation note – C/N. These will be popping up infrequently but you should check them out – They'll be clearing things up and explaining plot progression points sometimes… For example: shipping. If you're into romance and pairings you should read this one at least.

"Naruto-chan, over here?" Hinata asked.

"A little to the left... And lather it on a little thicker," Naruto instructed.

Iruka stood watching them clean the Hokage monument with a bemused expression. "Naruto, why is Hinata helping you scrub the Hokage monument?" he asked.

"Actually, we're not scrubbing, we're giving it a sponge bath!" Naruto explained.

"But... We have people for that. With a schedule. Why are you...?" Iruka trailed off. The other chuunin gathered behind Iruka looked at him nonplussed.

"So we heard Naruto was playing a prank..." one of them remarked.

"But she's just cleaning the Hokage monument. With bubble bath apparently." another one continued.

"Okay I'm confused. Naruto why are you cleaning the Hokage monument with bubble bath?" Iruka yelled up at her questioningly.

"Okay, Hinata-chan take over for me," Naruto ordered. Hinata nodded and returned to scrubbing the second Hokages' nose.

Naruto jumped down to greet the assembled chuunin and the Hokage who had come to gawk. "Hiii, Old man! Iruka-sensei!" she greeted.

Iruka sighed. "Naruto, show some respect."

"It's okay Iruka," the Hokage chuckled. "Hello Naruto. Why are you giving my venerated ancestors a bubble bath again?"

Naruto plopped down on the floor and put on a thoughtful expression. "Originally, I wanted to put makeup on the Hokage faces up here. Then I realised how much that would cost - to buy enough foundation and lipstick and eyeshadow... Yikes! So I was going to graffiti up the monument instead when I remembered what Hinata-chan told me!"

And here she trailed off apparently recalling whatever it was Hinata had told her.

"And that is...?" Iruka prompted.

Naruto's eyes snapped wide open. "Right! She told me to stop doing juvenile things and that I was going to graduate soon so I had to act like an adult! So I decided that instead I would give the Hokage faces all a nice good clean and impress everyone! Consider = My thoughtfulness is a sign of my new maturity! Maturity befitting of a Hokage!"

Iruka cracked a smile. So that was what she was doing. "Nice try," he said, ruffling her hair, "but have you ever heard of a twelve year old Hokage?"

The other assembled chuunins started to laugh. The Hokage too indulged in a good hearty chuckle. "I'll put you on my list of potential heirs," he promised Naruto. "And your friend too who is also diligently scrubbing away."

"What? Hinata-chan doesn't want to be a Hokage she wants to get married and have lots of babies," Naruto stared at the Hokage in confusion.

At this Iruka let out a snort. "Ah, I'll take that into consideration," The Hokage promised. "Then, since there appears to be no need to stop Naruto and Hinata from what they are doing, if everyone could..." he trailed off. The chuunin immediately dispersed, though some of them hung around a while back to watch the rare sight of Naruto and Hinata giving the Hokage monument a bubble bath.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop them?" Iruka asked, watching his blonde student rapidly ascend the cliff face and get back to work.

"Not at all. This will save us maintenance money," The Hokage smiled. "A prank like this is actually quite refreshing, don't you think, Iruka?"

And then Naruto found herself sneaking into the Hokage Tower in the middle of the night. How the hell had this happened anyway?

'If it wasn't for Mizuki-sensei my awesome ninja life would be over!' Naruto shivered in horror. Thank god Mizuki-sensei had come through for her.

Well… Somehow she managed to make her way to the scroll without encountering anyone until she ran straight into the Third Hokages' very surprised chest.

'Ah shit...' "Sexy Trauma Jutsu!" she half whispered, half shouted. The Hokage collapsed to the floor, eyes rolling back in his head and Naruto felt a little guilty. That was a jutsu she had never imagined using on another Leaf Shinobi... she just hoped the old man would shrug it off.

'Ehehehe... maybe this was a bad idea? But I do have to graduate after all...' she resolved to send the Hokage a letter of apology and some expensive chocolates.

"Sorry, old man," she hastily apologised as she fled the tower and headed to the clearing that Mizuki-sensei had told her about, the one he had assured her would be deserted. Setting the surprisingly large scroll on her lap she carefully unrolled it. "So, I just have to learn one of these..."

She decided to learn two instead. "Maybe if I learn two techniques, Iruka-sensei will be so impressed he'll pass me twice and I'll get two hitaites! Then I can wear one on my arm and one on my forehead!" Naruto shivered at the thought of how awesomely cool that sounded. Definitely befitting of a Hokage.

"So chakra pulse and shadow clone! I'll learn the pulse first then, it looks pretty easy. And the clones are... well, clones. Not easy." She decided to learn the first two techniques on the scroll instead of wasting time and reading the whole damn thing and then deciding. Iruka-sensei would have found her long before she ever got to the back of this hugeass scroll.

'She better give me a damn good apology and a whole carton of chocolates – and not just any chocolates but the good stuff,' the Hokage thought irritably. He loved Naruto, he really did, but that had been far from sporting.

He had sent out a whole team of chuunin to find her and was now watching events play out before him on his crystal ball. Iruka had already found her, luckily enough, but then so had that white haired upstart, Mizuki. Unfortunately he didn't have enough information to go there and punch Mizuki himself so he would have to rely on Iruka to do it for him. He had to sit here and see if any relevant information about Mizukis' possible motives for the theft came up from the chuunin he had sent investigating.

Iruka was more than a match for Mizuki anyway.

'Shit!' the Hokage thought, eyes widening in shock.

Unless Naruto was involved, apparently.

The Hokage kept his eyes trained on his crystal ball impatiently. That damn Mizuki - impaling his favourite academy teacher like that. He just hoped Naruto got in a good punch on Irukas behalf. Or an exploding tag. That would work too.

Meanwhile, at the scene that the Hokage was currently watching:

"Iruka-sensei?!" Naruto looked up in shock at the man who had just saved her life.

"Naruto. I got here in time," Iruka smiled. He was so relieved.

Naruto's form started to tremble under him. "W-why? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? Iruka-sensei!" In her panic she'd snapped and started yelling at him.

"Jeez, it's not like he's dead or anything," Mizuki rolled his eyes. "He's just got himself impaled on my Fuma Shuriken like a self-sacrificing idiot, that's all."

Privately, Iruka agreed. He probably could have handled the situation better but he had just been so worried... about Naruto. "Naruto. I'm sorry. I know what it's like, being by yourself all the time. I know how lonely it can be. Unlike you, I at least got some time with my family before I lost them but you... I should've been there for you!" Tears started dripping out of his eyes landing on Naruto's face who was beneath him. Tears started dripping out of Naruto's eyes too.

"I was just like you. Doing stupid things to get attention but Naruto, you're much stronger than I am. You've been improving lately, even without my help. I should've been there for you and I wasn't but all the same I'm proud of you Naruto!" Iruka choked out. It was true. He was proud of her.

"How... touching. Should I get out my eye drops?" Mizuki asked, rolling his eyes. "I can fake tears just as well as Iruka, you know? Should I cry for you, Naruto?" he asked.

Naruto gasped and the tears in her eyes gave way to a look of betrayal. "You're lying, Iruka-sensei? I thought you..." her voice cracked.

Iruka could feel his new hatred of Mizuki growing even more potent. "Of course I'm not, Naruto. I'm-"

"Yes, of course he's not. Why would he lie to the demon child? It's not like he hates her for being a demon or anything," Mizuki mocked.

"Demon child?" Naruto was gaping at Mizuki open mouthed. "You know why everyone calls me that!" She accused.

"What, did my tone give it away?" Mizuki asked dryly. "Of course I know you simpering twit, everyone knows! Only the current generation of students – you included - don't know!"

"Mizuki," Iruka warned, "you wouldn't want to go breaking any laws now, would you?" he asked, deceptively sweetly.

"Actually, I do. I don't know why - I'm just really in the mood tonight! I fact I've already broken a few!" Mizuki crowed. "Naruto, there was a law made on the day you were born. ''Don't mention the fact that Naruto is the Kyuubi' is the law. 'Don't tell Naruto' is the unspoken most important part of the law. As if not knowing about the stupid law could actually change your nature! From the moment the fourth Hokage sealed the Kyubi into you, there has only been a monster in that body. The Kyuubi consumed the child years ago." He explained to her slowly.

"Naruto learnt about sealing in the academy! She already knows that sealed objects don't change the container. A scroll is a scroll. A scroll holding a kunai is still a scroll!" Iruka pointed out.

"What?!" Mizukis eyes opened comically wide. "I thought all she did in the academy was sleep! Are you sure she learnt that?" He moved his eyes to focus on Naruto's and his voice darkened, "Are you sure you're not a monster?" he asked her. "Did you know you even killed Irukas' parents on your first birthday? No wonder he hates you..."

"That's not true! Naruto you've heard stories about the strong and powerful demon fox. Do you really think the Kyuubi would fail his graduation test three times? Do you really think the Kyuubi wouldn't even be able to completely read Kanji after all these years? Do you really think that the Kyuubi would burn its' tongue scarfing down ramen as soon as it arrives every time without learning its' lesson like an idiot?" Iruka asked.

"Are you calling me an idiot?" Naruto asked, feeling hurt and angry.

"Yes! You're my idiot! You're Naruto the orange wearing, Hinata corrupting, ramen guzzling, class failing, Neji chasing idiot! You're my student - No, you're more than my student. Naruto... even someone as dense as you has to realise... I care about you. I won't let you pass a test if you're not ready because I don't want you getting hurt. Naruto I-"

"Would you cut with the crappy lies already?" Mizuki asked. "This is just boring - Naruto just give me the damn scroll and I won't kill you," he ordered.

Naruto looked up at her teacher in confusion. She wanted to trust him. He'd bought her ramen so many times and he'd saved her from Mizuki and he said he was proud of her. No one had ever said that before. But against her wishes, doubt was rearing its ugly head and poisoning her thoughts. She couldn't think clearly.

'Please, I just need a sign,' she begged, hoping someone was listening.

The clearing was quiet as Mizuki waited for his answer save for Irukas heavy breathing and the rustle of trees in the wind. Blood from Irukas wound was slipping down and dripping off the sides of his chuunin vest.

'Please,' she asked again.

Without warning Irukas blood that should have hit the floor was hit by a sudden gust of wind and blew into Naruto's eyes. That wasn't possible...

"Naruto! Have you made up your mind or not?!" Mizuki asked.

"Yes," Naruto stood up, hesitantly rubbing the blood out of her eyes. "Yes," she blinked, "I can see clearly now."

The Hokage looked in disbelief at the sight of Mizukis battered and burnt body passed out on the ground in his globe. "What an... inventive technique," he remarked.

That was even better than a punch!

He decided that Naruto's little show was amusing enough to let her somewhat off the hook regarding the technique she'd ambushed him with earlier.

Iruka walked up to Mizuki, who was still giving off smoke and stuck another explosive tag on him.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"For luck," Iruka replied. "It won't kill him - unfortunately."

"Uh... Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Yes?" Iruka replied.

"That stuff you said earlier. Did you mean it?" Naruto asked.

Iruka looked at her in surprise. "You're still doubting what I said? Of course I meant it! Naruto, I love you! I tried not to admit to myself, but..." he admitted.

Naruto's cheeks turned pink. "I love you too, Iruka-sensei," she reciprocated shyly. 'He's just like what I imagine a strict aunt would be like...'

Iruka flushed. Somehow it felt so embarrassing to admit that he loved her, that he saw her like a little sister. Well, talking about your feelings wasn't supposed to be very manly so maybe that was why?

Iruka walked up to Naruto, "Naruto, close your eyes," he ordered. Naruto flashed him a trusting smile and promptly closed her eyes. Iruka had to force himself not to take a moment to feel touched, instead tying his hitaite around her head.

"Congratulations on graduating, Naruto," he said.

Naruto opened her eyes and reached her hands up to feel for the hitaite. 'Wow!' She smiled cheesily. Maybe she didn't need two Hitiates after all. Having Iruka-senseis' was more than enough.

"And that's what happened after we split for the day," Naruto told Hinata with a blush on her face.

"You're terrible at narrating, Naruto-chan," Hinata told her frankly.

"What? Why?! I thought it was all really touching!" Naruto protested.

"Yeah, just maybe a little bit too touching. I felt like someone was reading me a romance novel." Hinata explained.

Naruto's face turned completely red. "Did it really sound like that?" she asked, burying her face in her hands.

"Truthfully, yes." Hinata answered.

"This is so mortifying. Please just kill me and get it over with or I might just die of embarrassment!" Naruto begged.

Hinata giggled. "I'm just teasing you, Naruto-chan! But really, you couldn't tell that Iruka-sensei loved you? He was always buying you ramen and everything!"

Naruto flushed. "You're mean, Hinata-chan. And I couldn't tell. It had never crossed my mind that anyone might love me."

"Oh Naruto," Hinata smiled at her sadly, "I love you."

"But that's obvious!" Naruto grinned, "you say that all the time!"

"Well, the Hokage loves you. And Teuchi and Ayame at Ichiraku's sure do! They're always asking me how you're doing whenever I go there without you," Hinata said.

Naruto looked at her disbelievingly. "Nah, no way. They just think I'm funny, that's all," but contrary to her words a pleased and embarrassed flush was making its way up her neck.

Hinata smiled at her. "You know they do. And you love them too. There are plenty of people that love you, Naruto-chan."

"Not Neji!" Naruto countered with a mischievous smile.

"Not yet." Hinata smirked.

"Not yet!" Naruto agreed with another sneaky smile and an enthusiastic high five.

Naruto marched straight up to the trash can and pulled out the boy who was following her by his tufts of hair hanging over the top. She recognised him – he was the same boy who had tripped over his scarf in the Hokages' office while she was handing in her registration papers. "It's not a very good disguise when I can see your scarf trailing behind you and your hair pokes out the top," she told him.

The kid blinked at her in surprise. "Oh. ...I mean, Impressive! You found me!"

Naruto gave him an unimpressed look. "You can stop trying to look cool now. There's no one here for you to impress anyway," she said.

The kid pouted at her, trying to pretend he wasn't blushing. "There's you. You don't have much tact, do you?"

"What's a tact? Some kind of glue?" Naruto asked.

A small sweat drop materialised on the kids head. "Nevermind that. I wanted to ask you to teach me the technique you defeated gramps with. The tower officials told me about it."

Naruto snorted. "Kid, you couldn't pay me to teach that technique to you. I'd be paying for your therapy for years." She started to walk off.

The kid ran up behind her and grabbed the sleeve of her track suit top. "Then, teach me something else! I want to be strong like you!" He pleaded.

"I know! You want to be strong to get all the ninja girls, right?" Naruto concluded. "Ah, man," she sighed, "you're a typical guy."

"No!" The kid blushed. "You're a pervert!"

"I am not a pervert! I hate perverts! In certain circles I'm even known as 'Naruto the pervert buster'!" Naruto complained.

"Wooooow!" The kid stared up at her with stars in his eyes. "So will you teach me a technique?" The kid asked hopefully.

"Sure! Actually I was going to teach you anyway because you're cute and I like cute things," Naruto shrugged. "You know moe, right? I've actually got a bit of a weakness for it," she confessed.

"I'm not cute, I'm cool and handsome!" The kid protested.

Naruto giggled at his words. "No, you're totally cute. You've still got baby teeth, your scarf is too big for you and you're so tiny!" She exclaimed, holding together her thumb and index finger to show the kid how 'tiny' he was.

"Are you done making fun of me?" The kid asked, looking anything but flattered.

"Yep, let's go!" Naruto grabbed his hand and started dragging him away. The kid couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't too late to ask someone else for techniques, someone who maybe didn't wear an all-orange ensemble.

"Sooo... This technique I've just taught you may seem simple but don't be deceived! This technique is my foundation for my most powerful techniques! Remember to be inventive and don't just stick to making sexy girls all the time!" Naruto lectured.

The kid transformed out of the buxom brunette he had invented and stared at Naruto with stars in his eyes. "Really? Really, really?"

"Yes!" Naruto laughed.

"Show me one, show me one!" the kid pleaded.

"Okay then... Sexy Jutsu YOUR TYPE!" Naruto formed the ram seal and was enveloped in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, a diminutive girl with gleaming black hair and green eyes about Konohamarus age stood in front of him in a tasteful white and red kimono.

The kid blushed. "Wow, incredible boss! How did you know I liked traditional girls?" he asked.

"I was paying careful attention. I can discern the types of most people from the way they act - Well, you get embarrassed really easily and you're pretty innocent for a boy your age so I made an educated guess." Naruto explained. "The sexy jutsu YOUR TYPE is harder to pull off, but it's way more effective and it doesn't just rely on sex appeal in every case."

The kid quickly pulled out a notepad from his trouser pocket and furiously started writing down everything she was saying. "Can I try it out on you?" he asked after he'd finished writing everything down.

"Go ahead," Naruto smiled. 'Well, unless he transforms exactly into Neji it's not going to work.' She thought wryly.

"Sexy Jutsu YOUR TYPE!" The kid was enveloped with smoke and when it cleared away Naruto was greeted with the sight of a guy with dark hair in small braids all hanging down and orange pants. He was topless and he had a dragon tattoo winding around his torso. "Hey gorgeous," he winked.

Naruto burst into laughter. "Nice try, kid." She walked up to his transformation and scrutinised it, walking around to examine it from all angles. "Interesting choice though. Going for bad boy appeal with a gangster? That might be a good technique actually - bad boy sexy jutsu. Keep it in mind," she critiqued.

"Right," the kid nodded and proofed back into himself. "But why didn't it work? I was so sure you liked the confident type..."

"Rookie mistake," Naruto explained. "The 'all girls want bad boys' is a common assumption. I like quiet, dignified guys actually. Though good job on the long dark hair - I do tend to like guys with longer hair," she admitted. 'Well, actually, one quiet and dignified guy with long dark hair. But there's no point in telling the kid that,' she thought.

"So I was partially right!" the kid cheered.

"Yeah, pretty good for a new user actually," Naruto praised him.

"Show me another, boss!" the kid pleaded.

"Alright," Naruto laughed, "I'll show you the version you MUST use if any kids are nearby, no exceptions. Sexy Jutsu Kid Safe Version!"

"You're just wearing a one piece. That's not a very inventive technique," The kid pouted.

"This is an important one, though! If you don't want to be bashed up by nearby girls, when kids are around use this version," Naruto explained.

The kid whipped out his notepad and quickly added to his notes.

Then Naruto sat down cross-legged on the floor. She was getting hungry - It was just about time to take a break. 'So why are you trying to bash up your grandad anyway?' she asked, withdrawing a bento. There was no time for ramen so it would have to do.

"Right. Yeah I should have introduced myself earlier, but my name is Konohamaru," the kid - no, Konohamaru replied.

"Ah, right you're named after the village," Naruto observed. "Hello Konohamaru. Nice to meet you, I'm Naruto," she said, grabbing his hand and shaking it.

"Nice to meet you, Naruto," the kid replied. "So my grandfather is completely devoted to this village - you can even see that by the name he got to pick for me. And the village loves my Grandfather too so by proxy they also love me. Even though I haven't done anything - they just love me for the sake of it. I want to prove I've earned that treatment by defeating Gramps and becoming Hokage!" Konohamaru explained.

"That's not a bad goal but you're kinda going about it the wrong way. Defeating your grandfather isn't going to make you Hokage, you know," Naruto started explaining.

At that point a strange man in dark clothes and glasses appeared in the clearing taking them both by surprise.

Naruto looked at him in surprise. "You're that weird guy from the Hokage office!" she realised.

Ebisu ignored her, grabbed Konohamarus arm and started to walk off.

"Get off me! I'm going to stay here and learn how to become a strong Hokage!" Konohamaru protested.

"To be a Hokage you have to be an outstanding shinobi in all disciplines! You must master over 1000 jutsu!" Ebisu replied.

'Yeah, like since when?' Naruto snorted. 'That makes no sense at all.'

"Sexy Jutsu YOUR TYPE!" Konohamaru yelled.

Naruto looked at Ebisu with amusement. "You have a thing for gingers?" she asked.

Ebisu blushed and looked away from the slightly chubby ginger in BDSM gear.

"Nice job picking up on his masochistic tendencies," Naruto complemented Konohamaru.

The ginger haired woman puffed out her ample chest, covered only by the stripperific leather string thing she was wearing. "Thanks boss!"

"I don't find that attractive at all," Ebisu lied. "This is stupid and... and vulgar! This won't help you become the Hokage at all. If you stay here you will only become as stupid and vulgar as her!" he declared, sneering at Naruto.

"I am not vulgar, I am pure and clean!" yelled Naruto.

"Uh boss... you did just teach me how to transform into a hot naked chick," Konohamaru reminded her.

"Well," Naruto huffed, "at the very least I'm more pure and clean than him," she said, giving Ebisu a dirty look.

"And I can prove it! Sexy Me Oh My Jutsu!"

Now Ebisu was confronted with a woman whose large breasts were barely contained by her top - the exact same top Ebisu was wearing as a matter of fact. Her pants - the exact same pants Ebisu was wearing as a matter of fact, were slightly too large for her and had slipped down to her hips revealing the top of a pink G-string. Her eyes were hidden behind dark glasses but her soft pink lips glistened invitingly. And she was marching across the clearing towards Ebisu, standing so close to him - way too close for comfort.

The brunette Ebisu girl clone tugged at her collar. "Hey, wanna see if my underwear is a matching set?" she grinned, tugging her top further down.

The blush that had already been on Ebisus' face intensified, bypassing the colours red and purple entirely and taking on a sickly bluish-black colour. Naruto and Konohamaru could practically hear his heartbeat and steam was coming out of his ears. He tried to sneer at Naruto but the blood gushing out of his nose was ruining the effect. The blood flow was thickening; it was practically a torrent and then without warning blood spurted out so fiercely that Ebisu was sent flying across the clearing.

"Oh shit!" Naruto hurriedly ran over and checked him for a pulse. Turning around she gave Konohamaru a v sign for victory. "He's okay!" she yelled. "But he might need a blood transfusion!"

Konohamaru stared in disbelief. He couldn't believe the devastation that had been wreaked on his teachers' body and all with Naruto not even holding a kunai. Such a simple technique really was effective.

"Wow boss. Total overkill," he gasped.

Naruto flushed. "Yes... maybe I should have used a different technique. That one does seem to cause a few mental issues sometimes. Still, I beat him!"

"Yeah, you beat him! You're awesome, boss!" Konohamaru cheered.

"Right, so what I was saying before he interrupted us was that you need to focus on getting stronger and becoming a dependable ninja. There are many people who want to be the Hokage so you have to prove that you're better than them and beating an old man isn't going to do that. I mean look at me - I'm still just a graduate, y'know?" Naruto said.

"So then you're saying that I can't slack off, right?" Konohamaru asked.

"Exactly!" Naruto beamed at him. "Listen to the closet pervert over there, he might be a stupid pervert but he's honestly trying to help you become stronger. And even then you can't rest easy because my dream is to be the Hokage! You'll have to beat me first!" she teased, sticking her tongue out at him.

"I don't know if I can..." Konohamaru muttered, glancing at the pale body of his teacher. "But I'll get stronger and surpass you, I just know it! Now we're rivals!"

"Yeah, you got it!" Naruto grinned. "Now you go grab the closet pervs' legs, I'll get his arms and let's go drag him to the hospital before he dies of blood loss."

"It might be a good idea to send him a letter of apology and some chocolates - nice chocolates," Konohamaru advised.

"Yeah..." Naruto agreed with a sheepish smile on her face. 'I seem to be apologizing to a lot of people recently,' she thought feeling somewhat ashamed. 'I hope they like Belgian chocolate...'

"Are you serious?!"

Naruto shifted under the unusually harsh gaze of her friend. "Uh, yes? Have I ever lied to you?"

"You don't want me to answer that," Hinata sighed. "Naruto. I let the fact that you almost gave an old man a heart attack go because you were repentant but... you sent a guy to the hospital? For a blood transfusion? What is wrong with you?!"

"I was just trying to help out the kid," Naruto replied, nervously twiddling her thumbs.

"The kid that you taught how to be a sexual deviant? I thought you promised me you weren't going to use that technique anymore!" Hinata not quite but almost yelled.

"I didn't use it... I just taught him how to use it," Naruto objected. "And I made sure to teach him the kid-friendly version so he wouldn't get bashed by girls!"

"After you taught him the normal version... Naruto, he's a kid! If you had to teach him that technique you should have taught him the kid friendly version!" Hinata almost yelled at her again.

Naruto buried her head in her hands and whimpered. "You're scary, Hinata-chan," she whispered.

Hinata sighed in exasperation and then noticed to her mortification that there were several café-goers eavesdropping on them. Hunching into herself, she shrunk down in her seat and waited for them to stop staring.

When they finally stopped she looked at Naruto again who was still making piteous whimpering noises. "I'm not angry with you, Naruto-chan," she sighed. "Just a little disappointed and hurt."

To her horror Naruto looked at her with waterfalls pouring out of her eyes. "That's even worse!" She wailed.

Hinatas self-preservation instincts - the ones that made her shy away from tears - kicked in. "Naruto-chan, calm down!" she started thumping the crying girls back, trying to get her to quieten. "Just do better next time! You can do that, right?"

In an instant Naruto's tears dried up and a sunny smile materialised on her face. "Yeah! I won't let you down again, Hinata-chan!" she beamed.

Hinata felt a sweat drop materialise on her pale face. 'Somehow I doubt that, Naruto-chan.'

Somehow Naruto ended up sitting next to Sasuke instead of Hinata-chan. Just like how she'd somehow ended up sitting next to him every day. 'Not again!' Naruto groaned to herself. The back seats always went first and Naruto never arrived early enough. Even though she and Hinata-chan had arrived at the same time today, only Hinata-chan managed to snag a seat. 'This sucks...'

"Hey, can you let me through?" a somewhat high pitched voice interrupted her thoughts.

Naruto barely registered it, face screwed up in concentration, trying to figure out why she always ended up stuck in this seat. And then she would have to sit next to Ino or Sakura or some other fangirl as well... At least Sakura mostly stuck to staring at Sasuke after her initial fights with the other fangirls were over.

"Naruto, move your ass! I want to sit on the other side of you!", and then before Naruto could react she was pushed aside so the owner of the voice could sit where she wanted.

Naruto cracked open an eyelid in irritation. So today it was Sakura. Who had just slammed her into the desk with her skinny knees. 'Great way to greet your deskmate, Sakura-chan,' Naruto thought sarcastically. Normally she didn't have any problems with Sakura. A little loud and a little bossy. Audibly proud of getting the highest marks on the academy tests and rumoured to have something like a dietic memory. She didn't bother Naruto and that was the important thing, so Naruto ignored her for the most part.

Hinata on the other hand was not nearly as charitable. 'Pink haired ***...' she glared at Sakura. Discreetly of course, so she wouldn't catch any attention. Hinatas devotion to Naruto sometimes overruled the nicer and more merciful parts of her personality.

Naruto just stared at Sakura waiting to see if she would apologise but she appeared to be too preoccupied. With Sasuke.

'What do they see in him again?' Naruto thought wearily.

She hopped up onto the table to see if she could figure it out. 'His hair is stupid. And he's glaring at me... very charming I'm sure… if you like that kind of thing.' It's not like he was bad looking but the hair and the attitude kind of cancelled it all out in Naruto's opinion. "Oh!" Naruto realised. "It must be the stoic thing. The whole too cool to smile thing..." she muttered to herself. Sasuke would make a good sexy jutsu base she realised. "Sexy Silent Jutsu? Well he's a silent kinda guy so..."

Sasuke glared at Naruto who appeared to be glaring at him - in reality, she just had a habit of narrowing her eyes while thinking. He didn't know why she was glaring at him, but he wasn't just going to sit back and let her do it. So he glared back at her. But it was getting kind of boring... And... She had very bright hair actually. Very startling blonde hair and blue eyes. Sasuke's inner hair stylist perked up. 'Could it be possible that she knows any clan techniques?' He wondered. Good haircare was a bit of a status thing for certain clans - and Naruto had very peculiar hair for Konoha.

He had actually wondered about it before - she didn't exactly look like the Yamanakas did - Was she maybe from another country? Naruto was an orphan though so he couldn't be sure but it was possible that she was actually descended from an important clan. "Hey Naruto, about your hair-"

Sakura looked in horror at her two classmates. Why were they sitting so close together? Why were they staring soulfully into each other's eyes like that? Why were they both whispering to each other in hushed tones IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS? All these questions and more were never answered because... before she could drag Naruto away, an excited graduate elbowed her in the back of the head and she fell forward to meet the lips of a startled Uchiha heir.

Sakura froze.

'Bad timing to have both their mouths open,' Sakura thought in mute horror.

'Right. That is not the issue here.' Inner Sakura retorted.

'No really. There could have been tongue in that exchange,' Sakura numbly replied.

Inner Sakura finally caught on. 'SHA FUCKING NO! NO NO NO SASUKE NO!'

Naruto and Sasuke appeared much less affected by this event and merely nonchalantly pulled away from each other.

"Sorry Sasuke. I was just trying to scrutinise you, not steal a kiss from you," Naruto apologised.

"Don't worry about it, it was just an accident," Sasuke shrugged.

"No, really, I feel bad. Let me buy you a bowl of ramen?" Naruto asked.

'That sounds like a date!' Inner Sakura raged.

"Will it have tomatoes in it?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto awkwardly scratched the back of her head. "Not usually. Want a salad instead?"

"That will do," Sasuke agreed. "And... I have to know. Is your hair natural? Do you use any products or jutsu to make it look like that? The colour too - is that real?"

Naruto blinked at him in surprise. "Sasuke, It's hard enough pulling a brush through this and you think I'd try to waste hours trying to style it on my own?!" she asked, pointing to her hair.

Sasuke blinked owlishly back at her. "You need help. I must help you - that is just a waste of perfectly good hair." 'And my mother would disown me if she knew Naruto barely brushes her hair and I didn't teach her better.' he thought to himself.

'That harpy is seducing Sasuke-kun!' all the fangirls thought and simultaneously glared at Naruto.

'That harpy is seducing Naruto-chan!' Hinata thought, glaring daggers at Sasuke.

Naruto and Sasuke were pulled out of their conversation by the massive amounts of killing intent directed towards them. They both looked at each other.

"There is only one solution," proposed Sasuke.

Naruto nodded.

"Running away!" They both said and immediately tried to run away only to find the exits blocked by fuming fangirls... and a fuming Hinata.

Kiba shook his head in disgust. "Aren't you all over-reacting?" he asked.

"I know right. Seriously, stuff like this happens all the time," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just the 42nd kiss... at least it wasn't a civilian this time. "

"Um... Sasuke, I think that's just you," Naruto whispered. "You should probably get a chastity belt for your lips or something."

"Okay that's devastating and all-," she paused to cry about the fact that Sasuke had been kissed 42 times and then resumed speaking – "but uh… Naruto, Sasuke's one thing... but wasn't that your first kiss?" One of the fangirls reminded her.

Naruto's heart stopped. Her pupils dilated. Moisture mysteriously appeared on her cheeks. "NO, I'M RUINED FOR NEJI!" she shrieked. "I'M NO LONGER PURE!"

If anything, Hinatas glare intensified.

"So... You're not in love?" Ino asked dubiously.

"No." Sasuke said, feeling strangely scared for his life.

When Iruka entered the classroom he was shocked to see Naruto - who he would have expected to be ecstatic at graduating- with miniature waterfalls gushing out of her eyes. Could Naruto be being bullied?! Irukas' eyes narrowed as he scanned the classroom. Now that he wasn't distracted he noticed a large group of girls supplying Naruto with tissues and consoling her.

...He decided it was better not to ask.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Iruka greeted the class in his customary fashion, while employing his big-head jutsu to get them back in order. "Even though you have all graduated you are still only Genin. This is the first step of your journey. Today you will be meeting your future sensei and forming three man teams with your classmates. Naruto couldn't care less and started examining her fingernails instead. Hinata had already explained to her that seeing as Naruto's marks were way below hers they probably wouldn't be on the same team.

On the other hand... "SASUKE SASUKE SASUKE", Inner Sakura was so concentrated on her chant she was saying it out loud without realising and without regular Sakuras permission. Luckily for her Sasuke was trying to think of hair care products to recommend to Naruto and didn't notice.

Iruka looked at them and sweatdropped. "Well, this will be an interesting team", he thought to himself. "Next, team seven. Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha".

Sakura couldn't contain her happiness at this and punched the air. Sasuke and Naruto both glared at each other at the same time. And then they both turned their faces away from each other and smirked. This was going to be the best rivalry ever.

Then it was lunch. Hinata walked up to Naruto to give her some last minute advice before leaving with her own teammates. "Naruto," she said, grabbing her by the shoulders, "even though I now hate both your teammates you need to get along with them. Or you could die. I don't want you to die and you don't want to die and Neji does not want to become a necrophiliac. Please try and get along with them for my sake, okay?" Hinata asked.

Naruto blinked. "Uh, sure?" She replied unsurely. Satisfied with her answer, Hinata demurely shuffled out of the classroom, following her teammates.

Naruto thought about her teammates and how to approach them. "Well, Sasuke and I are rivals now - after the whole kiss thing. So we hate each other but we don't want to kill each other or anything... we should be fine. Sasuke is... uh well I think he mostly just ignores Sakura but he might be slightly scared of her. And Sakura needs to tone the scariness down. So I should talk to her and make her less scary!" Naruto decided.

With that decided Naruto walked right up to Sakura and smiled brightly at her.

Sakura had mostly gotten over the whole kissing debacle thing by then so she just smiled kindly at Naruto. "Do you need more tissues?" she asked, holding up a pack of tissues. "Or a mascara touch up? Crying can be hard on a girl."

Naruto stared at her blankly. "What's mascara?"

Sakura looked at her in horror. "You need help." Against her will, Naruto found herself dragged off to the bathroom with her eyelids pried open and a thick black gooey substance applied to her eyelashes. Naruto tried to shake her off but Sakura was determined to stick the goop on her face so in the end Naruto gave up and let her. When she was finally done, Sakura brought Naruto in front of the mirror to proudly show off her work. Naruto couldn't see any difference at all.

"Uh... I feel pretty. And... I feel pudgy."

Somehow Sakura managed to understand what she was trying to say. "You mean pigmented, don't you? Because the mascara is black?"

Naruto's eyes snapped wide open. "Wow, yeah! You're so smart, Sakura!" Naruto stared right in Sakura's eyes feeling totally confused. "Sakura I'm staring into your eyes because I am totally confused," she told Sakura who had been starting to nervously back away.

Sakura stopped nervously backing away. "Is it the mascara?" she asked.

"No, it's you," Naruto explained. "You slammed me into a desk today. I don't get why you're being nice to me now. Uh... I don't get it. Yeah, if you could... please explain," Naruto gestured vaguely.

Sakura flushed and looked away. "I just get excited when Sasuke-kuns' around. I didn't mean to do that... Um, did I hurt you at all?" she asked.

Naruto gaped at her. 'That wasn't on purpose?' " Uh... no, it didn't hurt," Then something occurred to Naruto. "Uh.. wait. I kissed your precious Sasuke-kun" - she had to pause and wipe a few tears out of her eyes at this - "so shouldn't you hate me?"

Sakuras eyebrows furrowed and she turned her face away in thought.

'Well, it was an accident.' Sakura reasoned.

'So we should forgive her?' Inner Sakura asked.

'Well, that was her first kiss. I feel sorry for her, I'll admit it,' Sakura thought.

'Okay then, we forgive her. Unless... there was tongue involved.' Inner Sakura stipulated.

'Fair enough,' Sakura agreed.

"Was there tongue involved?" she asked Naruto.

"Lord no," Naruto made a face.

"Okay, I forgive you," Sakura said.

"That's very generous of you." Naruto replied, surprised.

"Well, you did just lose your first kiss and I guess we are kind of teammates now. …Do you want to go outside and eat lunch together?" Sakura asked.

Naruto beamed at her. "Sure!" she chirped. 'I didn't even have to bribe her to get her to talk to me...' she realised.

As soon as they had reached a random bench outside and sat down to eat Sakura started asking Naruto for dating advice. This was what Naruto had been trying to lead up to in the first place so she was very pleased at this turn of events.

"So I was just wondering if you had any idea what kind of girl Sasuke-kun likes," Sakura asked. "Some of the other girls spread false information around to sabotage each other but I know you wouldn't do that, Naruto, since you like Neji. I've tried different approaches on him - acting cute, acting sultry, and playing hard to get... I'm fresh out of ideas." she admitted.

"I am so glad you came to me for help with this!" Naruto beamed.

'I'm actually kind of disappointed in myself,' Sakura thought. "Why is that?" she asked out loud.

"Because I am really good at telling peoples' types! I've learnt how to pick up on things like that as part of my research for my Sexy Jutsu techniques!" Naruto grinned proudly.

Against her better judgement Sakura began to feel hopeful. "So what's Sasuke-kuns' type?" She all but begged.

"He doesn't have one," Naruto shrugged.

"What?"

"He doesn't have one," Naruto repeated.

"Is that just a nice way of saying he's gay or something?" Sakura asked.

'Not that I would really mind that,' Inner Sakura purred.

'You shut up. This is important,' Sakura told her.

"Nope. I have no idea if he's gay or straight," Naruto admitted. "You'll have to wait a few years for his hormones to kick in - he's a bit of a late bloomer. Right now he's incapable of being attracted to anyone," she explained.

'That explains his reaction to the kiss earlier,' Sakura realised. "So then, what do I do?" She asked Naruto, feeling a little lost.

"You'll have to impress him in a way that doesn't rely on your sex appeal." Naruto replied.

Sakura thought about that. She hadn't ever really tried that before but the truth was... apart from her test marks she wasn't very impressive. And Sasuke-kun didn't care about her test marks anyway - if he did he would've showed interest in them some time.

"There's nothing very impressive about me, though," she admitted.

Naruto shook her head at her sadly. "Sakura, you have to have the right attitude for a start! Besides that's not even true - You get the highest test marks every time, you have a dietic memory - I think it's called, you learn Justu and other techniques right off the bat and you have pink hair!"

"Do you really think so?" Sakura asked shyly. "Oh and by the way, it's eidetic not dietic."

"Duh. And you hold back when I spar with you," Naruto nodded. "You start off at full strength and then you go easy on me. Every time! I'm not that weak..." she pouted, looking a bit hurt.

"Well, I'm not trying to go easy on you..." Sakura replied. "I'm just on a diet and it's been making me feel a little lethargic lately," she reluctantly admitted.

"Lethargic? Diet? Do you mean that your dietic memory makes things...? Okay no, you lost me," Naruto whimpered, clutching at her head.

"What I'm saying is I get tired easily when I spar or run fast or do things like that." Sakura explained.

"Why?"

"Because my diet is affecting my stamina probably." Sakura explained. 'Maybe dieting wasn't such a good idea after all...' she thought to herself.

"Diet? Dietic?" Naruto cocked her head to the side, still confused.

"You're stuck on that, aren't you?" Sakura sighed. "Not dietic, eidetic. Spelled e-i-d-e-t-i-c. It means that you remember everything you read perfectly. And you know what dieting is - changing what you eat to lose weight."

"Ah, right," Naruto nodded sagely, "having a dietic memory sure is awesome."

Sakura decided to give up on trying to fix Naruto's vocabulary. It was beyond help anyway.

"But don't diet, it's stupid. You're too skinny anyway, you have bony legs. Just eat what you want," Naruto said.

"But what if I get fat?" Sakura couldn't help but ask.

"If you get fat you aren't training enough," Naruto grinned. She boldly lifted up the hem of her track suit top. Her tanned stomach was completely flat. "Eat properly, train properly and then fight me without wimping out!" she advised.

"You want to fight me?" Sakura asked, surprised.

"Yes, duh. If you're that much stronger when you're not doing some stupid diet you should fight me. I bet even that bastard, Sasuke, would want to fight you." Naruto giggled at her little mental image of a strong Sakura punching Sasuke into a tree.

"But I don't want to hurt Sasuke-kun..." Sakura replied.

"Oh, come on. A friendly little spar never hurt anyone!" Naruto reassured her. "And Sasuke can take care of himself," Seeing the look on Sakura's face she hastily added, "Well, if you really don't want him to get hurt that badly you should become strong and protect him. And spar with him properly too, it'll help him protect himself. I bet he'll be so impressed he'll say, 'Ooooh, Sakura-chaaaan! Kiiiiiis meeee!" Naruto made a silly kissy face that Sakura couldn't help but giggle at.

"You know... Your advice sucks less than I thought it would," Sakura told Naruto.

Naruto made a thoughtful pose and screwed her face up thinking deeply. "Hmmm should I be flattered by that..?" she pondered aloud. Sakura couldn't help giggling again at how silly Naruto's' face looked like that.

"I think I'll try it. I'm in love with Sasuke-kun so it makes sense to protect him. I'd hate it if he was hurt - I think it would hurt me more than if I was the one being hurt!" Sakura declared.

Naruto smiled brightly at her. "That's wonderful, Sakura. I'm sure that even the stick up that bastard's ass could be removed by someone as pretty and smart as you," she praised. "Oooooh, Saaaakuraaaa! I'm falling in love with your forehead and the largish brain it contaiiiiins!" she exclaimed, swooning dramatically.

Sakura burst into laughter. "I hope he likes me for more than my forehead and brain at least!" she laughed.

"And yooooouur pink haaaair! How could I forgeeeet thhhhaaaat, Saaaakuraaa!" Naruto melodramatically unswooned and serenaded her, kneeling on one knee.

"That's so smooth! I only hope Sasuke could say something so sexy and romantic to me in real life!" Sakura gasped out, between huge bursts of laughter.

Naruto winked at her and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "For you baby, I would even say the word dietic. I'd even say it twice!" she declared very romantically in a very poor imitation of Sasuke's voice.

Sakura's laughter intensified so much she actually fell off the bench.

"My sides, my sides!" she gasped. Naruto immediately moved to help her.

'I hope I won't have to buy her Belgian chocolates too,' she thought worriedly.

"Sooooo... Why do you like Sasuke, again?" Naruto asked Sakura bluntly.

"Well, he's good looking and rich and he has status," Sakura answered.

Naruto rolled her eyes. "Sakura, I know we haven't really talked before today, but you don't talk about Sasuke like someone you just like for his looks and stuff. Why bother lying to me?"

Sakura flushed and looked away. "Because it's really embarrassing?" She asked rhetorically.

"Seriously, Sakura he has a major stick up his ass. Not prime dating material if you ask me," Naruto shrugged.

"Sasuke-kun does not have a stick up his ass!" Sakura yelled. Then she blushed and glanced around to see if anyone might have possibly heard her. "Sasuke-kun might push everyone away, but he's just misunderstood."

Naruto looked at her in horror.

"Don't look at me like that!" Sakura snapped. "I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. Sasuke-kun spends all his time alone, training. He needs to open up, to talk to someone. Maybe it's not my business but I worry about him. I... I know that I'm kind of nosy... I don't mean to pry but sometimes I annoy him. I just want to be there for him because... you can't help who you like and I know that he's not a bad person. If I could just make him laugh or smile... like he used to..." Her words died off into a whisper and she ducked her face, flaming red.

Naruto stared at her, eyes wide.

"Well, I'm not a moron," Sakura sighed. "I know he's not in love with me but I care about him so much... and I don't even know why. You see why I'm embarrassed, right?" Sakura suddenly flipped her tomato red face back up and squarely met Naruto's gaze.

Naruto solidly looked back at her though her face was also starting to redden. "Well, as much as I'd like to deny it I guess we do have some things in common. And yeah... I guess you can't really help who you fall in love with..." looking somewhat weary, Naruto disconsolately blew her bangs out of her face.

"Uh, Naruto-"

Before Sakura could say anything Naruto rudely interrupted her. "Can I call you Sakura-chan?" she asked, face somewhat red. There were no traces of tiredness or frustration in her face so Sakura chalked it up to a momentary lapse of vision.

Sakura smiled at her and was almost more surprised than Naruto when she heard herself say, "Yes, of course."

Naruto shyly grabbed her hand and shook it, looking somewhat unsure. 'She didn't expect me to say yes, did she?' Sakura realised. Come to think of it Naruto only really hung around Hinata. She probably wasn't used to making friends or hanging out with other people.

Naruto clone looked at Sasuke. "I told you she wasn't that bad," she pointed out.

"Yeah, all right," Sasuke acquiesced. "You weren't completely off about her. Or the working as a team thing," he admitted.

"Are you going to give her a chance?" Naruto clone asked. She was somewhat more invested in the answer to the question than she thought she would be.

"...Yes. But if she goes back to her fangirl tendencies, no promises," Sasuke replied.

"Okay. And... this should be obvious, but don't tell her. That we eavesdropped," The clone requested, looking slightly sheepish.

Sasuke scoffed. "You're not the boss of me."

Naruto flew to her feet in alarm as Sasuke approached the both of them.

"I was eavesdropping," Sasuke admitted.

Naruto gaped at him. Was he going to give her away just like that?

"How much did you hear?" Sakura asked, throat suddenly dry and voice croaking audibly.

Sasuke gave her a funny look. "The part about you being in love with me, of course."

Sakura nodded and hung her head waiting to be told about how foolish her interest in him was or that she didn't understand him or something similar.

Sasuke said no such thing. Instead he merely turned to Naruto and said, "I'd like that salad now," Naruto cautiously nodded, turning back to Sakura and sending her an apologetic smile.

Sakura looked down but she wasn't surprised. She hadn't exactly expected Sasuke-kun or Naruto to accept her as their teammate with open arms.

Ten paces away, Sasuke turned back looking irritated. "Sakura, aren't you coming?" he asked, the irritation in his voice making it clear that only one answer was acceptable.

Sakura's heart started beating double time. "Sasuke-kun, wha-?" She could barely get the words out past her dry throat.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked back and grabbed her wrist. "We're going to go eat lunch now. Narutos paying," He told her, tugging her along.

Naruto scowled at him but gave Sakura a cheery grin and thumbs up that clearly said, 'Sure, why not?'

"Sasuke-kun, you're not going to tell me to stop being in love with you?" she timidly asked him.

Sasuke's dark black eyes found her and for Sakura time seemed to stop. "What's the point in doing that? You have better taste than Naruto does – you should be proud. Now start walking, I'm not going to drag you the whole way," he told her nonchalantly.

Sakura stared at him dumbfounded. Though she finally started walking her pace was too slow for her dark-haired teammate who continued to impatiently drag her along.

Sakura was practically brain dead from the shock that Sasuke-kun was maintaining physical contact with her – willingly. Inner Sakura was elated.

'SHA FUCKING NARO BITCH! Sasuke-kun is holding my hand! Not Inos', Not Amis' not Sakuyas' but mine!'

Sakura snapped back into reality.

'YOU FUCKING RUINED THE MOMENT!'

SHINOBI DICTIONARY

Hinata: Oh, she's teaching Naruto to act more maturely. I doubt she'll have much luck. Hell, I almost feel sorry for the poor girl!

Naruto and Irukas' relationship: no comment. You sick ****s.

Hiding with camouflage technique: Using part of their surroundings, the user will blend in with their background. Not effective on higher level ninjas that can sense chakra or people with high observational skills. The success of the technique is dependent on the skill of the user – an example of this would be Konohamaru who is very very bad at it! Taught at the Ninja Academy.

Moe: A dangerous enemy to hardcore, brutal, otherwise tough ninjas. Equally prevalent in both men and women, no-one knows what exactly makes certain shinobi weak to moe and not others. A definite definition of moe does not exist, as ninjas have individual perceptions and ideas of moe. Tsume is one of the ninjas rumoured to be weak to moe.

Sexy Jutsu: The root of all truly great techniques in the world of Naruto.

Sexy Jutsu –Kid Safe Edition!: Looks more like internet ads for **** than actual ****. Uh… am I allowed to swear and stuff on here?

Sexy YOUR TYPE Jutsu: Using the skill of observation and analysis, a new jutsu is given life. Targeting your biggest dreams and secret desires, will you be able to resist?!

Ebisu: Isn't really into gingers. BDSM though… yes. He is.

Sexy Me Oh My Jutsu: An ingenious variation of the base Sexy Jutsu technique that simultaneously arouses, disgusts and mortifies the target of the technique. The user of this technique transforms into the target, gender reversed and with their sex appeal ramped up incredibly high. Suggestive attire/poses/clothing may be used.

Naruto and Hinatas' relationship: no comment.

Hair Care: An important aspect of shinobi life to many ninja, It has continued throughout time and become valued tradition in certain clans. Such as the Hatake clan, the Yamanaka clan, the Hyuuga clan and the Uchiha clan. One could argue that it is also part of the Akimichi clan, but due to their hair being grown for use in clan jutsu this is an ambiguous assumption at best. The Hyuuga clan and Uchiha clan took this aspect of shinobi life to new levels, ensuring that future generations of their clan would never be anywhere without looking catwalk ready. Even now the secret jutsus they developed to achieve follicle perfection are most revered and coveted.

Big Head Jutsu: A Konoha endemic jutsu used for Interrogation. Amplifies the size of the head, the volume of the voice and the throbbing temples of the user. As an effective technique, the use of it is highly monitored and practitioners of it keep secret their knowledge. Sakura Haruno and Umino Iruka are among the few that use it openly. Side Effects: May cause dizziness, irritation in the eyes, frequent headaches and nosebleeds.

Naruto and Sakuras' relationship: no comment.

Sexy Sasuke Jutsu: no comment on whether or not I have plans.

That Sakura: Is actually pretty nice. Damnit, now I can't bash her!

That Sasuke: But, I can still bash him! He wasn't that nice!

And Sakura and Sasukes' relationship: If they get together it's kind of a two for the price of one deal, isn't it? Since she seems to have a multiple personality disorder… yeah… no comment.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

C/N: Hey guys, so about this pairing thing. Naruto has a crush on Neji. Cannonically as most of you know, the original Naruto had a crush on Sakura. His reason for liking Sakura was because of her determination in chasing Sasuke, it reminds him of his determination to chase his own dreams. He also finds that she looks cutest when she's working hard to get Sasuke to notice in her.

So in my fic, Naruto who's friends with Hinata (who had the confidence to befriend her when they were kids since she didn't have a hugeass crush on her) gets a crush on Neji who she eventually meets through Hinata. For the same reasons Naruto in canon liked Sakura. Because despite being born a branch member, Neji tries his hardest to be an awesome ninja and master the gentle fist style, a goal he is well on his way to achieving.

Hinata seems to be rooting for them to end up together as well…

And Sakura likes Sasuke. Self-explanatory, really.

So these two crushes are the only established romance/pairing stuff for now but they can change and anyone can end up with anyone. If you have a favourite pairing, feel free to message me or leave a review and I'll give it serious consideration.

No promises, though.