Jacquleine Schaeffer
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Joined 12-04-01, id: 134926
Author has written 2 stories for Fairy Tales.

Hi! I really like to write, and usually I fall into these writing funks where I hide in my room like a recluse for days on end and just write and write and write. So you should expect a big long story every once in a while. I like to write and read. I like good romances, I am a sucker for Romances...sigh. (But not kind that you buy at the checkout counter at the supermarket with the guy on the cover with his shirt off. You know, those stupid novels with dumbass names like, "Her rugged man" or some crap like that? I hate those.) I am a movie freak. I like too many movies to name, but some are: Moulin Rouge, Pride and Prejudice (COLIN FIRTH!), Amelie, Chocolat, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, That Thing You Do!, Bridget Jones's Diary (Again, how I love Colin), Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, and Much Ado About Nothing. Ok, with ome of these movies we're not talking cinematic landmark genius, but that doesn't mean they're good. My favorite food is nachos. Mmmm...nacho cheese. I like lots of books too. Some of my favorite books are Pride and Prejudice, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Emma, Sense and Sensibility, Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, The Gospel According to Larry, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Anne of Green Gables Series (Anne of the Island is the best one), and these books by Lloyd Alexander with this girl named Vesper Holly who is really cool. I am in love with Sean Biggerstaff! Go Sean! (In case anyone didn't know, Sean Biggerstaff plays Oliver Wood in Harry Potter. I LOVE SEAN!!!) But they SO did not show enough of him in Chamber of Secrets. I am Sean-deprived! Favorite Quotes: "Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it." -Gandhi "Whenever you go into someone's house, and they leave you alone in a room, do you look in the drawers? I do. I'm not trying to steal anything; I just like to know where everything is." "Griddle Cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: Why are there four words for grilled batter and only one word for love?" -Last two quotes taken from funny times, a newspaper. Anyway, so these are my annoyingly long stories...read and please REVIEW!!!

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Never Better by The Brilliant Fool reviews
New preface, please read! An updated P&P story, set in modern Boston. Lizzy drinks vodka, Darcy... hasn't change
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 96,788 - Reviews: 1056 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 10/26/2006 - Published: 6/27/2002 - Complete
Below the Tower by OutlawEris reviews
A mix of fairy tales. The prince wants a bride. Cinderella wants him; the Piper wants a place in his orchestra; The rats want out;Rapunzel and Aurora want in. Oh, and the witch wants them all dead. And then comes the ball.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 24,475 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/29/2005 - Published: 3/27/2003
A Tale of Twelve Princesses by Auburgine reviews
Wonder of wonders! I updated twice in a week! And I'm pretty sure I just figured out where this story is going...so please read on about the trials and tribulations of twelve princesses who though ruthelessly oppressed remain ever resourceful.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,611 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/26/2004 - Published: 3/17/2003
Hot Air by Pyrus Japonica reviews
Evil villians, secret agents, a dark threat, adventure, true love, sword fights, miracles...wait that's the Princess Bride. But this is pretty good too. Rated PG for suspense. ::COMPLETE!:: See Ice Water for Part 2!
Hey Arnold - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 72,681 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/16/2003 - Published: 6/11/2002 - Gerald, Helga - Complete
How to Rent an Evil Castle out of Fairytale Season by Trisyl reviews
A feeble attempt at humor, on my part, redoing the old Sleeping Beauty tale, from the so called "evil witch's" point of view. Please read and review. I promise it to be spelling mistake-free.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 760 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/14/2002
Fairytale: The Next Generation by Baloo reviews
ON HOLD - The couples from the original fairytales are fed up with their children, who are not living up to their fairytale heritage.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,721 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/30/2002 - Published: 10/7/2001
The Princess and the Cliche by Jetso reviews
~Bored with originality: a fairy tale cliches... Recipe: Take one paranoid princess, add a talking pig, a snippy seamstress, a melodramatic prince. Seive in some fairies. Serve sided with general chaos
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,328 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/20/2002 - Published: 5/23/2002
Furball: Story of a Princess by Dryad13 reviews
Clarisse was a beautiful princess... this, you see, was the source of all her problems. Furball details her fall from princess to servant, then her rise through the kitchen ranks. Completed.
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 35,356 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/26/2002 - Published: 1/12/2002 - Complete
Rapunzel by The Dark Enchantress reviews
A little twist on Rapunzel. And guess what. I'm in it! Gee. I wonder who my charactor is? Or should I say charactors. With an S. Fin.
Fairy Tales - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,934 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/9/2002 - Published: 12/28/2001
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Princess CatSkin reviews
*Finished, finally*! Princess Mary Isabelle Elise runs away from her father to become cat-skin, a simple kitchen-girl. She meets Prince William, stubborn and boyish, and things change from there...
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,760 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/6/2003 - Published: 3/30/2002
King Lack-Beard reviews
A version of the Grimm tale King Thrushbeard, only instead of the King having a beard he doesn't have one. (Beards bug me.) After a haughty Princess mocks her suitors to humiliation she is forced to marry a beggar. What will become of her? *COMPLETED*!!!!
Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,278 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/29/2002 - Published: 12/23/2001 - Complete