Hello! How goes it, ya'll? So yes, I used to write on Nick, and I still do have a fanfic there. I also just wanted one that could say the word BLOOD, and KILL, and KISS, and MURDER. Yeah so Nick limited my writing a bit...So here I am!

~More about me~

BTW, you can copy and paste this on to your profile because that is what I did

Name: Ashley, but you can call me Elphie.

Age: 12 but I will turn 13 sometime or another

Gender: Girl

Grade: 7th and Homeschooled

Sun Sign: Cancer (I wonder why tehy call it Cancer??)

Chinese Zodiac: Rat

My Birthday: July 8th!

Element: Fire! Flamio Hotman!

Email: Muggle321@ Email me whenever, I always reply!

~Other Random stuff~

Favorite TV shows:

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Favorite Movies:

Lord of the Rings! I love Aragon! He's awesome!

Harry Potter!

Pirates of the Carribean!

Chronicles of Narnia!

Twilight! Well...it will be as soon as I acually see it...

Me and My Interests:

Well, I love to act, sing, read, dance, spend hours on my compuer, write, and play sports. I read very fast and way too much. When I start to read a book I don't stop until I finish it, so I am glad I can read fast. My mother has to pry me away from books when she wants my attention and has threatend to take away all of my books. I want to be an actress, a singer, and a writer. I have also recently discovered that I can draw, which I have taken an interest in doing.

My Flaws:

I get way to emotionful. I don't even know if that is a word, but yeah. I also can't spell. I don't blow up at many people, but when I do, they definately know I am mad.

Random Favorites:

Season: Summer

Planet: Earth

Movie: Lord of the Rings

TV Show: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Color: Black, red, and gold

Animal: Sharks

Song: I stand byt Idina Menzel and Defying Gravity by Idina Menzel.

Food: Mexican

Desert: CHOCOLATE!

Number: 13

Character from a TV show:

Avatar--Zuko, Mai, Azula, Iroh, and Ty Lee in that order. I have also become a big fan of Jun recently.

Avatar Ship: Maiko, Kataang, and Sukka.

Books: Ok there are too many to name but here are my very favorites: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Wicked, and Twilight. If you want the rest just go to your local library and find every fiction bok you see ;-)

More About the Authoress:

--I have some friends, but I only hang with them every once and a while. I have a good amount of friends online, and to me, those are some of the best!

--I get obsessed over things. Like really obsessed. It's crazy ;-)

--I have insomnia

--I am like your personal advice columnist. I listen to anyones problems, no matter how annoying or pityful, and try to help them.

--I have never broken any of my bones, and I am very thankful for that, but I did break my brothers bone once. I used to have a freakishly high bed and it was so high if you just fell off you broke something. I accidently kicked my brother off...

--I am very blunt and extremily honest. I almost never lie and I will tell you the blunt truth.

--My blue eyes change color depending on what color jeans I am wearing.

--I want to learn to fight with a sword

--I have the craziest dreams that even other people say are crazy

--I LOVE TO READ

--I am awful with directions

--I spend WAY too much time on the internet

--I like facinating paterns

--I sing to myself all day and very loudly and people always stare at me like I am crazy.

--I am really creative, and I kinda live in my own fantasy world.

--I want to learn Latin and move to England

--My room is Pink and black, but I want to change it to read and black

--My mother is organic obsessed, ut a lot of the stuff taste SO much better.

--I have low blood sugar

--I once had a bear named Mr. Bear

--I went to regular school but was pulled for 5th grade.

--I hate my name

--I am so random!

--My mother loves to take pictures, and it is SO ANNOYING!

--I prefer a lot to hang out with adults more than kids

--My favorite Actress/singer is Idina Menzel, but I don't get obsessed with celebs

--I love to develop my characters in my mind. Like I will place tehm in certain situations adn see how they react.

--Little kids seem to get very attached to me. Being teh oldest of my sibs, I am very motherly.

--The thought of Death doesn't scare me, it is exciting.

--I often say metaphores

--I am going to buy my own personal library one day.

--I have more podcasts on my I-pod than songs

My Heroes: God and Jesus

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things (cough, cough Edward leaving in New Moon) or deciding that you'll give a friend all of the answers for the homework for the rest of your life if he'll find you and Edward. Crazy is when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters (I'm talking about Damon, but Edward applies here, too.) Crazy is when your mother has to pry Twilight and or New Moon from your fingertips and you start to sop. Crazy is when you are planning your revenge on people like Victoria and cough Jacob Black!cough. Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. Crazy is when you fantazize about murdering those that hurt any Cullen/Swan Characters. Crazy is when you walk into a house that your parents are considering moving into and you yell," THIS LOOKS LIKE THE CULLEN'S HOUSE!" If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something(s) crazy you've done to the list!

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM

if you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of edward anthony masen cullen, copy this into you're profile.

if you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the cullens, but you dont really care because even thought admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you dont want to heal, add this to you're profile.

if you ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice,Mrs.EdwardAMCullen,Isabell the Looser, -only-real-men-sparkle- , xxSizzlingBabexx, Blacksun4destiny

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. (All the time.)

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your

Two Wolves

One evening an old P.E. teacher told his students about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "Students, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is evil. It is self-doubt, inferiority, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is hope, humility, joy, peace, love, serenity, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The students thought about it for a minute and then asked their teacher: "Which wolf wins?"

The old P.E. teacher simply replied, "The one you feed."

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say"

"And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don’t count on it," answered the fellow in the cell, "I’m the groom."

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Alice, Isabell the Looser, -only-real-men-sparkle-, xXSizzlingBabeXx, Blacksun4destiny

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

-On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

-On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
-On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
-On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
-On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
-On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
-On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
-On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
-On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

'Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To Shop:

Things to do in a supermarket when your bored

1. Get boxes of condoms and put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and announce in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

4. Put some M&M's on lay-away.

5. Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

6. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

7. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'

8. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper 'PICK ME! PICK ME!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

(BOLD the ones you are.)I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken andkool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist

I'm a nerd so I MUST be a loser

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry

.BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

15 things to do in Walmart.1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

22 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature.
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and thats why I don't go there anymore

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

What Kisses mean!

kiss on the belly--"lets have sex"
Kiss on the Forehead --"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear --"I'm horny"
Kiss on the Cheek --"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand --"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck --"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder --"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips --"I love you" OR "I want you"
Holding Hands --"We can learn to love each other"
A wink --"Let's get it on"
Slap on the Butt --"That's mine"
Playing with the Ear --"I can't live without you"
Holding on tight --"Don't let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes --"Don't let go"
Playing with Hair on Head --"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist --"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing --"I am completley Comfortable with you"

--Advice--
If your kissing someone, close your eyes.
It's not nice to stare.
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

copy and paste this into your profile if you laughed until you peed...you know you did! or just repost it because you liked it

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

.If your mom has ever clamped down on your ear while curling your hair, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your skin is almost always cold...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread Twilight over sixty times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, Esme's Favorite Daughter, blacksun4destiny

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my pen name)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, Esme's Favorite Daughter, Blacksun4destiny

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste (smiles)

If you wish more people were like your friends on fanfiction, copy and paste

If you have ever gotten a paper cut on your lip from kissing Twilight, copy and paste

If you have ever spazzed out because you'v seen a silver Volvo S60, because it reminds you of Edward Cullen, copy and paste

If you look around and say: "Where?" because someone said Edward

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that when you hear thunder, you immediately think of the Cullen's playing baseball, copy and paste

If you are absolutely in love with Stephanie Meyers Fictional Character Jasper, Copy and Paste this into your Profile.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

And…if you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said gorgeous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

My goal in life is to have everyone I have ever come into contact with fall in love with Twilight series, and, more importantly, JASPER!

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Eclipse, but then I would have to kill you.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Paste this on your profile if: JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE!