name used to be dizzysunlovingspaz.

Let's just say that Ziva will never beat Kate. Kate is the bomb. Tony loved her first and they were the best partners ever because their personalities were just so opposite each others. I hate that Tony seems to forget about her and how fast the show replaced her with Ziva. Kate and Tony went through way too much together. Ziva SUCKS!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

WARNING: MAY NEED TISSUES FOR THIS:

Near to the door

he paused to stand

as he took his class ring

off her hand

all who were watching

did not speak

as a silent tear

ran down his cheek

and through his mind

the memories ran

of the moments they walked

and ran in the sand (hand in hand)

but now her eyes were so terribly cold

for he would never again

have her to hold

they watched in silence

as he bent near

and whispered the words

"I love you" in her ear

as he put on his ring and wanted to die

and just then the wind began to blow

as they lowered her casket

into the snow...

this is what happens

to man alive...

when friends let friends

drink and drive.

Two Wolves

One evening an old P.E. teacher told his students about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “Students, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is evil. It is self-doubt, inferiority, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is hope, humility, joy, peace, love, serenity, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The students thought about it for a minute and then asked their teacher: “Which wolf wins?”

The old P.E. teacher simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Too Much Speeding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, officer, I just wanted to say--”

“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell, “I’m the groom.”

Random Sarcastic Junk.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Racism should be stopped

A black man walks into A bar, a white man walks in and says
"No coloured people in here"
The black man says,
"When im born, im black
when i grow up, im black,
when im ill, im black
when im in the sun, im black
when im cold, im black
when im dead, im black
When your born, your pink,
when youre growing up, youre white
when youre ill, youre green
when youre in the sun, youre red
when youre cold, youre blue
when youre dead, youre purple,
now tell me youre not coloured!"

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”

- shing xiong

“Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.”

-Randall G Leighton

“When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.”

- Unknown

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

- Dr. Seuss

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry."

- Unknown

“Live with no excuses and love with no regrets.”

- Montel

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

- Erica Jong

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.”

- Unknown

“Somewhere, someone, dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worth while, so remember that when you are lonely someone somewhere is thinking of you.”

- Unknown..

“As you grow up,
you learn the difference
between falling in love
and holding hands.
kissing doesn't always
mean something,
promises can be broken
as quickly as they were made,
and sometimes,
goodbyes really are forever...”

- Unknown

“Believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

- marylin monroe

“Pain is good...it just doesn't feel that way at first.”

“Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.”

~Erich Fromm

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
- Elbert Hubard

“Love doesn't make the world go 'round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
~ Franklin P. Jones

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
- Ashleigh Brilliant

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

“It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.”

“Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.”

“Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked too but if you press the wrong button, you'll be disconnected!”

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Thank you

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

I wrote your name

in the sand

but the waves

washed it away,

then i wrote it

in the sky

but the wind,

blew it away,

So I wrote it

in my heart

and that's where

it will stay.

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret
anything that made you smile

-~NeVeR rEgReT aNyThInG tHaT mAdE yOu sMiLe!~-

This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.