Name: wouldn't you like to know

Likes: anime, video games, girls, sex, good fan fiction and Bananna and or chocolate pudding.(Um pudding)

dislikes: yaoi (slowly making it's way to the hate list), Bad fan fiction (Choppy grammer and random moments), Self inserts in a story, most OC's and mary sue's/gary stu's, most Oc's, and lisps (for some reason I can't stand it when poeple lisp on purpose, if it's a speech impediment I'm OK with it but it annoys it when it is on purpose)

hates (There is a difference to me): rapist, pedophiles, child abusers, among other things

parings i like: Naruto and most girls

pairings i dislike: narusaku (i see them as brother and sister at best, plus it aint gonna happen.)

naruino: she annoy's the crap out of me, but if it is a good enough story then i'll read it.

gay pairings Rant: What the hell is up with all the yaoi fics on this site. I'm not homaphobic but keep the characters strait. i mean seriously. Naruto looked like he was going to throw up when he kissed sasuke and so did sasuke. (Then again i haven't seen sasuke go for girls either so yeah.) It was meant to be funny.(Which it was=)) Plus the fact that sasuke and naruto hate each other. And in my one story im gonna make them hate each other at first even if it's a femsasu so no bitching. Plus I have seen Naruto express absolute NO interest in guys.

Mpreg rant: Ok this one really needs to stop. There are a LOT of things wrong with this. First and foremost. GUYS CAN"T GET PREGNANT! They don't even have the right equipment to get pregnant. You need a Uterus which a guy DOES NOT HAVE! I know that some poeple think that's possible in their own little fantasy land BUT IT'S NOT! And it annoys the crap out of me that theres so much of this going around. Where will the baby even come out? Are you poeple telling me that you expect a baby to come out their ass?! I'm sorry but that wouldn't work. And a dick is too small to do that.

Naruto vs Kakashi rant: I've read alot of stories where naruto is able to defeat kakashi in a one on one fight straight out of the academy, there's alot of stories where he has the sharringan covered but it is still unrealistic. You wanna know why? He doesn't have one thing that kakashi does have. Battle experience. He is strait out of the academy for petes sake and he can take out a jonin. Even if kakashi is holding back that is impossible. Let's face it even if he is stronger than Sarutobi kakashi would still kick his ass unless he is an undercover anbu. And if kakashi underestimates him he can just flip the switch and take him seriously and again kick his ass. He's been a ninja since he was six for crying out loud. He is a good ninja not just for his sharringan people. He is used to fighting chuunin to kage level ninja. There is no way a fresh outta the academy GENIN can defeat him. Even if it is a kakashi bashing.

team 7 rants

A fic with a nice sasuke: OK seriously. What is with all the fics where Sasuke's a complete douche from the get-go. I mean everybody acts like he was bad from the start. Most non-yaoi fics bash the crap outta him. Now don't get me wrong I despise him after timeskip. He is easily manipulated after timeskip, but before he isn't a borderline rapist, who is obsessed with power to the point where he would kill everyone. Shoot I think he's more crazy then anything after the timeskip.

Sakura rant: What is every-bodies problem with Sakura? When she isn't paired with Naruto poeple write her as a borderline sociopath to anyone not Sasuke. first of all Sakura I can compare to Hinata in a lot of ways. They both have no confidence in their abilities. Sakura just has a different way of showing it. That 'inner Sakura' as poeple is what she wants to say but is too afraid to. She is bossy to Naruto because he needs his own version of Tsunade. Naruto is headstrong and he charges into things without thinking. Sakura is basically the anchor for the team. That is her job to keep them grounded. Sometimes that requires tough love. And about the hitting thing. That is the equivalent in anime/manga to getting slapped. I'm pretty sure that she would have beat on sasuke if he did the stuff Naruto did on missions at first. The kunoichi in the Narutoverse act as anchors to the male characters. Ex: when Lee showed off his skill in the chuunin exam Tenten repremanded him. Sakura didn't have the confidense to repremand either Naruto or Sasuke. The only time Naruto ever gets hit is when he pisses her off.

Harry Potter Rants.

The harry potter/lord voldemort pairing rant: Who the hell came up with this pairing? There are a number of reasons why this would NEVER work. Reason one. Voldemort KILLED his parents and sentenced him to a life of living with relatives that hate him. Even if harry was gay he would never hook up with him! I mean seriously WTF! Trying to kill you constantly is no way to show affection. Plus here is the kicker VOLDEMORT CAN'T LOVE! He thrives on hate. It's his life blood. Even if he was gay and physically attracted to Harry he would capture him and rape the crap out of him until he's satisfied before killing him. Then probably rape his corpse.

My personal rules for crossovers

Rule 1: I will not make ridiculous crossovers (EX: Naruto with Harry Potter)

Rule 2: Never intermingle two worlds (EX: Making Wanted apart of the Naruto world)

Rule 3: When doing a naruto appears in different world Make it make sense. To be continued

Ways to kill a story.

1. Write your story is the shittiest grammer you can.

2. Have everything go perfectly for the hero right off the bat. Examples are the hero becoming powerful at a point that he surpasses his mentor within a few weeks.

Plots I'm tired of seeing in fanfiction

Harry Potter

Harry's a millionaire, the heir to at least three houses, rich charming, and all around good guy.

Harry is the most powerful wizard Ever, heir to the founders, Merlin, Morgana La fay Etc.

The Weasleys being money grubbing thieves who want Harry's money.

Dumbledore is a manipulative old codger whose plans fall apart when Harry finds out. At least make him able to adapt people!

People laughing at jokes that just aren't funny, that makes the characters seem haughty

Naruto

Team 7 bashing, Ok here's my deal with bashing. As far as I know Sasuke isn't proclaiming himself superior all the time, Sakura isn't a useless ninja that pees her pants at danger, Naruto isn't a victim and Kakashi loves all his students. So why all the crap.

repeat plots such as Naruto getting special training, godlike and/or having the most powerful contract

pointless bashing

Ranma 1/2

I don't mind the Ranma Akane pairing, but after reading so many fics of the canon couple I need more variety, and every fic just about is them falling in love AGAIN! I'm not saying I hate akane, I'm just tired of the pairing

Akane bashing, OK on the other side of the spectrum we have Akane bashing, I don't mind it, but it seems like a lazy excuse to hook Ranma up with someone else, forgetting the fact that every other woman in his harem are ten times worse. Ukyo uses their friendship for their benefit, Shampoo tries to drug and rape him, same with Kodachi, Nabiki sold him as a prostitute. I honestly hate just about every female in Ranma in fanfiction. I'd hate them in canon if it wasn't a comedy to be honest, and I still hate Nodoka to be honest.

While we're on Nodoka, why is she always portrayed as a saint in fanfiction I'll never know. She holds a contract over Ranma's head that he didn't even sign and she spent years practicing for the day she'd decapitate Ranma. I can honestly say that both of Ranma's parents are monsters. Except Genma has the excuse that he's a genuine idiot, Nodoka doesn't

Bloodlines for my future stories send me a message if you want to use them in a story. and the fic so i can read them.

chishiomyaku (blood pulse)

Description: When activated the user cries tears of blood and blood comes out of every facial hole. (Eyes ears etcetera)

Strengths: allows user to control his blood like the kaguya control bones. ( yo get an idea think about the white haired guy off speed grapher.)

the user of that bloodline can also stop their opponents blood flow if he or she drinks a single drop.

Techniques (off the top of my head): blood spike, blood sword, blood wings.

Weakness: The heart has to pump huge quantities of blood at superhuman speed making it more liable for a heart attack

other side effects of bloodline: When a set of twins are born the twins are connected on a spiritual level. So much so that they are ALMOST like lovers but not quite. If one twin is kidnapped then his/her twin is miserable. So miserable in fact that it slowly drives him/her into madness.(AN i'm using this idea in Naruto of the bloody blade)

Future story ideas

Maelstrom of the bloody blade

summary: Naruto had a mother and a sister at one point in time. (By the way i will never put naruto in the modern world. (Most of those stories suck.))Naruto's mother was murdered right in front of him and his sister was kidnapped and sold into prostitution. Naruto lives for revenge and to find his sister. (In this he despises konoha with his entire being.) He will NOT be evil but he will be very dark and this his personality will be based on the joker and gaara and Agito's personality from air gear. Evil!Sarutobi. Evil!Kakashi. Started

mother dearest

summary: Kushina replaced Obito's spot after he dies. A couple years later her sensei raped her leaving her pregnant. In a fit of panic of being a single parent after her sensei Minato sealed kyuubi in him she signed him up for adoption. Note evil living nuke nin Minato (Kushina is Kakashi's age in this.)

naruto's sister

Summary: Minato and Kushina had twins a boy and a girl. Naruto was used to seal the fox. his sister dissapeared. years later she was found in a root base. Can naruto gett his sisters emotions back without going insane? Read and find out. Future story

Kitsune slave of the Namikaze

Summary: Minato didn't seal the kyuubi. He enslaved him to the Namikaze clan. Now a servant trapped in human form how will he survive. especially now that he has to not only worry about protecting the village as well as Minato's heir. Note Duchebag Minato. Hellsing elements.

The thief of konoha

summary: Naruto was kicked out of the orphanage at 5 years old. With no way to support himself he turns to a life of crime, but wat happens when he is caught by a certain weasel masked anbu? Narux fem itachi. Future story

Naruto sensei

summary: Naruto made jonin at the age of 7 He's been a jonin an anbu. Now if only he could survive babysitting his genin team without them driving him crazy. Naruxhina future story

Naruto of the shadows

Summary: Naruto is the jinchuuriki of kyuubi no kitsune. He fight's in the shadows of konoha as it's weapon of war. He feels nothing. So why is he falling for a certain ramen chef? naruxayame

Naruto: The path of a missing nin

Summary: The uzumaki were a clan of skilled shinobi. Until they were slaughtered by Naruto leaving no one except his younger twin sister alive. How will he survive as a S class missing nin? Will his sister walk the same path as Sasuke? read and find out.

mother cat baby kit

Summary:When Naruto was five he ran away from the village. He was found by Yugito who decides to take him to kumo.

The cursed twins

Summary: Ranma had a sister that went with him to Jusenkyo. During their spar with Genma they both fall into an unoccupied spring and now share a body. How will they ever live?

The wind god

There was once a ninja that had godlike control of the wind. He was so powerful that his name is feared even after his legend is almost gone. After Naruto hears this he will strive to be the next kazekami

Naruto: Ninja High

Summary: Japan has five different schools. These schools are to train the arts of shinobi in secret. Naruto is the new student at Konoha academy. Watch as he goes through high school, love, betrayel and war.

Jinchuuriki mother

Summary: Minato was able to save Konoha and Kushina from having the fox extracted from her during childbirth. Dying in the process. Naruto never became a jinchuuriki. Now he has to worry about Akatsuki trying to take her from him. Dark naruto.

Son of Death

Summary: James Potter is more then he appears. Death took the human form of James potter to accomplish two tasks. The first was to retrieve his Hollows the next was to set up Voldemorts death. He accomplished one and the other is underway when Harry is born. Look out world, the son of death is among the living.

Ranma/Witchblade xover.

Summary: After the wedding attempt Ranma leaves Nerima winding up in Tokyo. Around when the quake happens. He somehow aquires Excalibur the male equivilant of the witchblade, which relieves him of his curse.

Ranma of Ryouzanpaku

Summary: After someone who Ranma loves dies, his family disowns him effectively making him a ronin. He travels and eventually winds up at Ryouzanpaku. Ten years later he is a master of the Dojo. How will he handle being a master of the most insane school in existence while helping to train Kenichi in the arts. RanmaxShigure

A Dhampir in Nerima

Summary: Ranma isn't the son of Genma. Nadoka was enslaved by and impregnated by a vampire. Now Ranma prowls the streets slaying the creatures that go bump in the night. Dhampir!Ranma Curseless!Ranma

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

NarutoxPokegirl challenge

Basically I would like a story like this. I would write it myself but I don't know enough about the pokegirl world complex or whatever it's called to write it. Well here it is. Naruto is born in the pokegirl world. His mother kushina is a kitsune pokewoman who is or was mistreated by her tamer his father Minato. He (Minato) one day kills her for disobeying a direct order. Naruto witnessing it runs away to wherever. He wants to bring down the current way things are done in the pokegirl world.

1.Any pokegirl he has followed him. He still tames them but it is completely voluntary.
2.Naruto knows how to fight on his own. He can use pokegirls occasionally but only if his friends volunteer.
3.He can't be too book smart. What he knows he learned by trial and error.
4.He wants to kill his father and avenge his mother.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.