Hi there, I'm a person, you are too, at least, I hope you are.

My name is Matthew, but I prefer Matthew.

Age: Infinity years old.

I resent how people think that anything from a couple years ago (i.e. songs, cars) are known as "Sooooooooooooo old!"

I was abducted by aliens when I was three.

I've got 1 Oliver! one-chapter fic up right now, it's pretty intense. But I am planning a RuneScape fic about two guys named Ryan the Knight and Matt the sorcerer, Adventurers! It's gonna be epic.

3 ways to annoy your roommate

1) take a bottle of coke, open it, string a mento over the top, screw the lid back on, and cut the showing part of the string off, and wait.

2)Blast soothing music (i.e. Abba) in the middle of the night and when he wakes up, ask if he sees the irony in it.

3)purposely lock your self out of the apartment at least three times a week so he has to let you in.

I've got 1 Oliver! one-chapter fic up right now, it's pretty intense, and I've just started a a RuneScape fic about two guys named Ryan the Knight and Matt the sorcerer, Adventurers! It's gonna be epic.

Activities you should really do when waiting for a game to load

Call your mom a "bitch".

Kick yourself.

Smash the computer. Altogether, you don't get to play the game cause you just broke the computer.

Leave random flames on Fanfiction stories and when the authors ask you why, you call them bitches. (Not meaning to offend anyone here)

Punch your dad in the face twice.

Rip apart all your homework.

Throw a chair at the first person you see.

Ask your mom what the F word means.

Tell your mom that her ass is fat.

Swear at every author you know on Fanfiction via review under the name Bitch.

Do all the stuff above and then wonder why you're being so random.

Here're some things you could do in a wal-mart for a laugh:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things.

Here are some things you can do in an elevator for a laugh:

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Repost if you laughed...

or if you'll actually do any of these things.

Copy n' paste stuff

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf, danyan, Colt-Man, 24kt White Gold, fourfourfourfour, Recalled to Life, Hyperactive Lioness, Life.GetOne, alienphantom, Kisdota- The Freak Gamer, King0fn0obz, Mr.skitzo.

93 percent of American teens have an emotional breakdown if someone calls them a freak. copy onto pro if your one of the 7 percent that would say, "what was your first clue?"

92 percent of American teens thinks "life is unfair". Copy onto your profile if your one of the eight percent who thinks the other 92 percent are just trying to look cool.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Copy and paste this on your profile if you're addicted to RuneScape.

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you want money money money and more money.

Funny Replay/Tuskface's Name Machines First Name: Matthew

1. Your gangsta name (first 3 letters of name plus izzle): Matizzle (Oh yeah!)

2. Your detective name(favourite colour and animal): Red kitten (Oh no!)

3. Your soap opera name(middle name and current street name): James Kenmore (seems so... melodramatic, like, ...soap operas!)

4. Your Star Wars name(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Mermalak (Some sort of aquatic...thing...apparently.)

5. Your Superhero name(favourite colour and drink): Red Root beer (Root beer for vamps. If yo know what I mean...)

6. Your Arab name(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Aemyveh (Not worse than Zahkeav. ,I love CoD. And Halo. And RS. And Pure. Yeah.)

7. Your witness protection name(mother's middle name): Elizabeth (I feel sad inside now...)

8. Your 'goth' name(black, and the name of one your pets): Black Zigzag (I'm not really into goth...)

9. Your rock star name: (favourite fruit, and something that can go wrong): Pineapple IED (sounds cool, and if you're confused because you don't know what IED means, well... Improvised Explosive Device.)

10. Your pirate name(favourite colour, pirate accessory):Red hat (Not bad, not bad.)

Madmatt97's Surveys(directly snatched from KingOFn0obz (but with my own answers))

Survey 1

1. If you suddenly had a million dollars, what would you do?

Buy a glass mansion to throw rocks at.

2. What song are you listening to?

Adam's song by Blink-182

3. If the people that wrote the song came to your neighborhood what TV show would you like to be in with them?

Nitro Circus!

4. Grab the 1st book you see and turn to page 11, line 5, 6th word

His.

5. You find out that your teacher is a terrorist, what do you do?

Umm... Oh jeez...

6. Potato! Now think for a few minutes... What are you thinking about now?

Where the heck is that new mockingjay pin I got From pre-ordering Mockingjay, the Third Hunger Games book?

7. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

the few hours since they parted, and he was clearly

8. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

My dresser.

9. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Hawk's pregame show.

10. Without looking, guess what time it is.

9:15pm

11. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

9:20pm

12. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The Hawk's game on the TV.

13. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

About 3:30 getting home from school.

14. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

The computer, what else?

15. What are you wearing?

White t-shirt, Black loose shorts with green and white stripes down the sides, my glasses, and a Steelers Snuggie.

16. Did you dream last night?

Probably not.

17. When did you last laugh?

A bit ago reading some stuff on KingOFn0obz's bio.

18. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A Halo Legends poster, a stealth bomber poster, a Halo 3 poster, a Lambo poster, a Party animals 2010 calender, a homemade dream catcher, a mardi gras paper mask, and a bb gun resembling an mp5k.

19. Seen anything weird lately?

Yesterday I was playing MW2 online and a body froze in mid-air doing jazz hands.

20. What do you think of this survey?

Meh.

21. What is the last movie you saw?

How To Train Your Dragon. Awesome show. Seriously, those first two sentences I left unchanged from KingOFn0obz's profile because mine is the same answer and opinion.

22. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

One word. Stocks.

23. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

I'm not a transvestite.

24. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Free ice cream for every single person. It's really freakin' hard to be mean or commit a crime when you just got free ice cream.

25. George Bush.

I would like to change my answers to question 1 and 22, both to Guns. Lots. And lots. Of Guns.

26. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Harmony.

27. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Ryan or John.

28. Would you ever consider living abroad?

I'm sorry to admit I have no idea what that means.

Survey 2

1. Where are you?

My kingdom of my room!

2. Look up, then look back, what do you see?

A Halo Legends poster.

3. Last thing you ate?

Chocolate cake with Cool Whip.

4. Last thing you thought?

That was delicious cake.

5. You have a million dollars what do you do?

Already answered in survey 1.

6. What are you eating/drinking right now?

water.

7. Find a Globe. Spin it. Where does it land?

I don't have a globe. I need a globe.

8. Find a book, turn to page 56, line 18, word 3, what does it say and what book is it?

Heart. The Squire's Tale.

9. Turn on the TV. what show is on?

It's already on in the living room. Hawks postgame show.

10. Type your name w/ your elbow

azSXSX,AZyhy08u,

11. Now, type your name with your nose.

madmatt97

12. Type your name w/ out looking

mFMttou

13. Type your name with your cell phone, w/out looking

msgfjwtt000000000000000000000000oi

14. Stand up, close your eyes, spin around 3 times, open your eyes, what do you see?

My desk.

15. What do you think of when you hear the name George Bush?

Bush falling game on .

16. Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it?

A book called Dragon Flight.

That concludes my bio for now. See you for now!