"I swear if you were ever kidnapped, you'd be dead because of your ambition to ball-bust every person you come across. Either that or you'd make them cry...I can't decide which." ~ UnassumingFirecracker

"Excuse me, can you please 'slay the dragons' in the shallow end because I don't want to have to jump in after you..clearly you can't swim...Thanks kid."

No, but for real...

I can be extremely inappropriate, I have no filter when it comes to speaking; So if I happen to offend, don't take it so seriously. Jiu Jitsu = Love. My favorite is S mount or top mount. I have the smallest dog with a hilarious overbite and I named it Keigo. My roommate got me into Bleach and I'm obsessed; my favorite is the Arrancar, Hueco Mundo arc. My favorite pairings are...IchiRuki, IchiHime, AiHime, Gin/Rangiku. Want a one-shot? Ask nicely and I'll write you one :) My current job is teaching people how to swim, and I coach a swim team. My proudest moment was teaching my kids the "Cat Daddy" in the water. I am currently in College so I don't always update quickly...but I'll do my best. I go to a culinary school though so...if you need recipes, just ask, lol.

My goal in life is to open my own Wedding Cake and Dessert place and learn how to properly do Orihime's "leek spin."

And the fact that this is a complete disarray of random topics...that explains my personality.

Latest ridiculous conversation with UnassumingFirecracker ( another author on FF):

UF: "That man...was hot.

Me: "Mmmm...yeah, you gotta watch it though. That's the kinda guy that'll make you drop your morals."

UF: "At this point, I don't care

Me: "Anddd that's exactly what he'd want you to say. Control fail."

(UnassumingFirecracker dissing my dress and heels)

Me: Okay...so does this look alright?

UF: You kinda look like a stripper. No wait, I mean the expensive stripper that costs a lot of money, you know like an escort or something. Like, you wouldn't be expected to carry anything and you'd cost like 20 grand...Does that make sense?

Me: I'll go change.