Warning: The following program may contain graphic of violent nature and disturbed minds.
Straight Jacket Caution Recomended

YOU'RE ACTUALLY READING THIS. YOU'RE GONNA DIE OF BOREDOM!
How did you die?
I read Sirius's Crazy Chick's Bio.
You're kidding, right?
Actually, I'm not.
I'm Sorry, we can't let you in to heaven.
Why?
You read SCC's bio. Are you insane?
I wasn't before I read it.
Its a horrible crime that leads to a horrible fate. Go to hell.
I'm sorry.
You'll be sorrier when you get there. Have a nice trip.
Falls into flaming dungeon

Do you want this to happen to you? Don't do it. Commit suicide another way (not that you should at all). Oh well, here it goes:

Favorite (read funny) Things People Have Said:

~"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the American Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colin'. Need I say more?" -Chris Rock

~"I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you." - Unknown

~"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." -Terry Venables

~"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." Charles de Gaulle, former French President

~"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born." -Ronald Reagan, former US President

~"If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight." -George Gobel

~"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." -Oscar Wilde

~"I love sleep. My ;ife has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake." -Ernest Hemingway

~"Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -Terry Pratchett

~"Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman; it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town." -Steve Martin

~"Sure, I'm incredibly good looking and date hot models..." -That Kia Sedona Commercials (you know the one)

Favorite Fanfiction Quotes: (some are funny and some are suppsoed to be...'meaningful')

~"Even the lovliest flowers have thorns.." -Flower of the Court

~"We were fighting a war that would ultimately be for nothing..."- 'Forsaken' The Immoratl Hunter

~"Nobody fully understands / The deaths of others at my hands / So I don’t see how they forgive / As I remember the life I lived" 'Death Eater' Witchmaster

~"Whoever said that being hated was the worst feeling in the world was obviously never ignored." 'Smirking Lips and Enchanted Eyes' January Rose

~"Bewildered, bemused, befuddled, and aware that they all basically meant the same thing..." 'Denial' January Rose

~"Because, you're a bad person," Sirius explained, patting him on the head. James frowned, ... "You are being punished for not giving your friend's good enough Christmas presents." 'Obsessive Lily Disorder' Procrastinator-starting2moro

~"Sirius yelped and jumped off the bed, transforming in mid-air. He fell on the floor with a loud "oomph" and stared wide-eyed at Remus, who was still looking rather incredulous." 'James's Dirty Little Secret' Giantitis

~"What good is being the perceptive one of the bunch going to do me if I can't see something right in front of my face?" 'The Reluctant Chaser' Mardia

~"Now see here, four against one? Not a very fair fight now is it? But then again, I shouldn't expect less from a group of cowardly weasels and the boy-who-lived-to-be-an-ass." 'After The End' Odi et Amo

~"Fred and George made frequent comments about how they felt disgusted to be a part of a group that was solely comprised of couples. They seriously considered dating each other, but decided they couldn’t cope with homosexuality and incest at the same time. It was too much, Fred said seriously, for even men of their calibre to handle." 'Dusk To Dawn' Padfoot-Lives

Favorite Sparrowisms:

1) "Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest...Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly...stupid."

2) "But...why is the rum gone!"

3) "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word, really...except for ELizabeth who is, in fact, a woman."

4)"If you were waiting for the opportune moment...that was it."

5)"Well! I’m actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually, ecumenically, gramatically? I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth …it would never have worked between us, darling. I’m sorry. Will...nice hat."

6)"Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because in fact, if you hadn't betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse same as you...Funny ol' world, innit?"

7)"'It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible.' Well, it bloody is now." . . . "There'll be no living with her after this."

And finally the best Sparrowism:

8) "But you forgot one thing mate...I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

Cheers to Jack!

And now for some Lost:

I can't believe that I was nervous about Kate and Sawyer getting togther. As soon as the season started, I was like, thay couple so works.

I also can't beleive that we have to wait 13 WEEKS till lost is on again. Bloody Taye Digs...

What's a profule without something a little CONTROVERSIAL:

Okay, what's the deal? Sure, I'm a good Lynyrd Skynyrd lovin' American, but what's with this anit-abortion thing? Come on! It's the 21st century. Women have the right to choose if they want to have a baby. And while I'm at it, why can't gay people get married? As Carlos Mencia said, "they deserve to suffer like the rest of us."

Radom Crap:

Did you know that Sirius B is the hotter of the two Sirius stars. It's a little bit ironic don't you think...Did J.K. know this?...Hmmm...

Okay you know what I just realized. I don't hate Snape as much as I used to gasp I think that it was because I found out that James was a tiny bit of a git. I've acctually grown quite fond of Snape, despite Jo's warnings. And now, after reading the sixth book, well shit

That's all folks!

Yours Truly,
Sirius's Crazy Chick
A Proud Supporter Of Bush

Thank You :)
Oh, and one more thing,

I AM NOT LIABLE FOR ANY INJURY OR INSANITY CAUSED FROM READING MY STORYS! DON'T SUE:)

One More Thing - I have officially forgiven Jo Rowling for the death of my favorite character. I was on her website the other day () and she said that she had cried when she killed of Sirius. At least she felt bad. And for all you other devestated fans out there, she said he will not be coming back alive. Magic cannot do that. Sorry.

One More One More Thing - Yay! I was right about Bill and Fleur. And then I told my friends Remus and Tonks would be together before I got to that part of the book. :) I'm sooo happy right now.