Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to.

Favorite anime: Bleach (Ukitake, Ulquiorra, Nnoritra, Byakuya, COYOTE STARK), Are you Alice? (Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat), Durarara (Shizou, Izaya), Hetalia - Axis Powers (America, Russia, Sweden, Prussia, Germany, England), Katekyo Hitman Reborn (DAISY!, Kikyo, Zakuro, Mukuro, Gokudera, Reborn, Fon, Verde, Colonello, Reborn, Squalo, Bel, Fran), Kuroshitsuji (Sebastion, Ciel, UNDERTAKER!), D. Gray Man (Kanda, Allen, Jasdero and Devit, Lavi but death to LENALEE!), Fruits Basket (Yuki, Kyo), Ouran High school Host Club (Kyoyo, Tamaki, The Twins(dun-dun-duh), Honey, and Mori), Beelzebub (Natsume, Himekawa, Oga, Furiichi), Blue Exorcist (Mephisto, Rin, Yukio, Shima), Soul Eater (Stein, Soul, Death the Kid, Chrona), Pandora Hearts (Gilbert, BREAK, Oz, Elliot, Leo), One Piece (Zoro, Shanks, Trafalgar Law, Penguin, Ace), Brave 10 (Saizo, YURI KAMANOSUKE, Kakei, Benmaru, ROKURO, Isanami must die, Sasuke), Shaman King (LYSERG DIETHEL, Horohoro, Toa Ren)

Seriously, watch Brave 10. Get off your asses and do it now.

I'm also a big fan of Urban Rivals!

Favorite Books: Kane Chronicles, Percy Jackson, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jane Eyre, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Harry Potter, Owls of Ga' Hoole, Mythology, Miss Peregine's Home for Peculiar Children, Going Bovine, American Gods, The Luck of Troy.

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! I am indeed alive but I can't upload anything to FF at this moment. I don't know why but the pop up page to add and submit things won't load. I have a great big stock of stories and chapters to add but I can't until I can use my mom's computer or I fix the problem. Sorry if you were waiting for new chapters but I don't see that happening for a couple weeks.

Things to know about Alice:

Alice bites her nails--badly. I've actually started to peel away my skin from my fingertips.

Alice once ran into an open cabnet and almost knocked herself out cold. I was seven. As you can see, I was a f*cking genius when I was a small child.

Alice has never broken a bone in her life. My short, short, short, life.

Alice has more nightmares than regular dreams. Even in my nightmares of being chased by zombies through my supermarket, I can still run by the check out area and notice an over-weight blonde guy in a Star Trek t-shirt three sizes too small buying two ply toliet paper and pre-mixed salad.

Alice rarely sticks to deadlines. I was suspose to write a story for my mom on Mother's day but it's almost Christmas and it's only about half done.

The last time Alice ever saw her father was three years ago.

Alice has an unnatural obession with the Ancient Egyptian god Anubis. I have no idea why.

Alice has had three cellphones but hates talking on the phone.

Alice cries if you talk to her in person for too long and won't leave her alone.

Alice is completely nocturnal. It's three a.m. as I write this.

Alice is afraid of thunderstorms, the dark and needles. I had to go have my swine flu shot in the school gym. When it came to be my turn, I was shaking like a leaf in the middle of a tornado. I staggered into the rickety metal chair as the guy prepped the needle. My mom covered the side of my face with paperwork but the bastard doing it jammed the needle into my shoulder and then couldn't push the plunger into my arm right. Picture a hammer trying to hammer a nail into a tree and you have a good mental picture of what happened.

Alice is a restless sleeper. I've woken up with the head of the bed pushed a foot away from the wall and all my pillows scattered around my bed.

Alice is lazy, anti-social and won't see the sun again for two weeks. I'm forced to leave the house every late August to go apple picking. I go because it's a family tradition but I usually just stand below the trees(and my mother) and try to catch the apples they drop down to me. I also have an allergy to the insectiside they use on the trees and get bad hives. I have to dodge gopherholes the entire time...damn dirty gophers.

Alice gets hiccups everyday and even got hiccups in the womb.

Alice is paranoid.

Alice highly recommends the website for all your draft writing purposes. It's very safe and all you need to do is give them your email and make up a password and they keep everything organized and safe.

Alice hates when people use text speak.

Alice's mother and sister think she's morbid.

Alice wants to be an author, mortician/funeral director or archeologist. Hehehe.

Alice is extremely claustrophobic.

Alice has two cats named Skittles(who sleeps under my legs while I'm on my laptop) and Coconut, a cocker spaniel named Benny and a rabbit name Noelle who eats meat (no joke), pancakes and once hopped up on the couch to get a whole piece of pizza. Two orange kittens have since been added named Alexander and Olympia.

Alice wouldn't talk to her sister if they didn't live in the same house.

Alice is a fan of heavy metal and hard rock, particularly Shinedown, Three Day's Grace and Breaking Benjamin.

Alice likes to read long profiles.

Alice needs to clean her glasses with dish soap or they won't get clean enough.

Alice is homeschooled. It's not for anything really, it's just that my mother loathes the USA school system and none of us like getting up at five a.m. to go to a crappy and dangerous school.

Alice get nauseous if she drinks room temptrature water.

Alice gets sick if she wakes up to quickly.

Alice has a huge phobia of school. I have a good reason for this, too.

Alice rambles.

Alice has a burning hatred for olives.

Alice's showers last at least two hours each. I'm not kidding.

Alice's mother has four siblings. My father also has four sibings.

Alice's mother and her brothers and sister are the first generation to be born in America, the rest of her family is from Scotland.

Alice loathes OCs. I believe they should only be used to help the story move on. If you hate OC's too, I suggest the HETALIA fanfiction world. There is very little --next to no-- room in the story of the anime or possible way for an OC and as such, are extremely rare. And either way, they would never survive Russia. Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol Kol...

Alice loves roses.

Alice wants to go to Greece, Eygpt, Russia, China, France, Germany, Norway, and England.

Alice thinks the poet Virgil was/is kinda cute.

Alice thinks Peter Pan is creepy.

Alice would rather carry nine times her own weight in food than make another trip to the car to get the rest of the grocercies.

Alice loves pepper.

Alice will be going to Scotland this August.

Alice feels lazy when she uses a spin toothbrush.

Alice is starting to dabble in Aztec mythology.

Alice firmly belives she was born in the wrong time period.

Alice has proven that she can't spell worth shit.

Alice loathes when people use there, their, and they're wrong.

FUN FACTS TO BLOW YOUR SKULL APART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. If you could see the Great Wall of China from space, you should also be able to the highways in every country. The Great Wall is simply to thin to be seen from space. But, you can see the Pyraminds of Giza, the Toyota Center, and Minutemaid Park from space.

2. During WW2 an English soldier came across an unarmed and wounded enemy Nazi soldier. The English soldier raised his gun and took aim but didn't shoot because he personally couldn't shoot someone unarmed and hurt. The enemy soldier thanked him and staggered away. It was later published in the newspaper and the English soldier got a special miliatry award for his kindness. Who was the enemy soldier? Adolf Hitler. Hitler saved the newspaper clipping and even sent his regards to the English Prime Minister, Winston Chruchill.

3. Colgate faced a big marketing issue in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command 'Go hang yourself.'

4. You can overdose and die from coffee.

5. The dye in Blue M&Ms might be able to treat spinal injuries. Sadly, the dye if only effective if you have an IV of Blue M&M dye within fifteen minutes after the injury occurs and fifteen minutes is at the latest. Oh, and a side effect is that your skin WILL turn blue. Not if, will.

6. In a study with lab rats and heavy metal music, the rats became homicidal when the music was play non-stop for 24 hours every day for a week and killed each other.

7. If you look at the sun right now you're technically looking back in time; it takes eight minutes for the sunlight to get to Earth.

8. Harry Potter auther J.K. Rowling admitted that Dumbledore is gay. He fell in love with a wizard named Grindelwald, who he later defeated in a duel.

9. A Cryovolcano is a volcano that shoots out ice instead of lava. I want to see badly but they only exist in outer space on icy moons.

10. Boys who have unusual first names are more likely to have mental problems than boys with more common names. Girls don't seem to have this problem. This being caused by taunting and bullying the boy with the odd name.

11. Seth McFarlane, the person who created Family Guy, was susposed to be on one of the planes on 9/11. He was hungover from drinking the night before and got to the airport late. He missed his plane by fifteen minutes.

12. In 1518, four hundred French citizens in Strasbourg danced uncontrollably for a month straight and by the end of the month, dozens of people died from heart attacks, strokes and exhaustion. To this day, no one knows why this happened or how but there are many theories; some say it was mass hysteria, that they were being punished by Saint Vitus, or that they had been consuming a chemical similiar to LSD.

13. A mosquito is more likely to bite a blonde than a brunette.

14. Einstein's final words died with him -- his bedside nurse didn't speak German. Don't worry though, it was probably just the formula to turn lead into gold or the meaning of life.

15. The most shoplifted book in the world is the Bible.

16. The moon is moving away from the Earth an inch every year.

17. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle, if it has one leg in the air, they died of battle wounds, if the horse has all his legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

18. Our sun will never explode. It's too small to generate enough energy to become a supernova (exploding star).

19. When you hear a whip snap, it's breaking the sound barrier. The sound is a sonic boom, that means by the time the tip of the whip snaps, it's traveling faster than sound.

20. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventer of the telephone, never could telephone his mother or wife; they were both deaf.

21. The population of the state of California is more than the country of Canada.

22. George Washington grew pot in his garden.

23. Odds are, any memory you have before age 6 is total bullcrap. You have either been told a false memory by someone else or you made them up yourself without realizing it.

24. The creators of Adidas and Puma were brothers... and Nazis. Look it up.

25. The color red doesn't make bulls go crazy because bulls are color blind. It's the movement that annoys them.

26. Swearing when you're hurt does indeed reduce pain.

27. The letter R is on the left side of the key board and the L is on the right side. If you didn't look at the keyboard to check before you finished reading this, there's an 87.6% chance you'll look after you finish reading this.

28. Alexander the Great was King of Macedonia and he had two different color eyes; one blue, the other brown. He was also extremely short and pale and most likely gay or bisexual.

29. If you brought the sun down to the size of a white blood cell, and then brought the rest of our universe down to the scale, the Milky Way would be the size of the U.S.A.

30. Rosalia Lombardo was a two year old who died of pneumonia in 1920 and was one of the last to be put to rest in the Palmero catacombs. She has been dead for almost a hundred years and still looks like she's sleeping. I suggest looking up a picture, she was a beautiful little girl.

31. The laughing tracks on T.V. and movies are made in 1950. That means most, if not all, of the people laughing are dead.

32. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually a gas bubble popping in the fluid surrounding your joints. It's also very helpful to your joints so long as you don't do it very often.

33. Touching your tongue during a yawn can prevent it.

34. September 16th is the most common birthday and Harvard says that December 25th is the least common.

35. A pineapple is neither an apple or a pine; it's a freaking berry.

36. Oprah isn't Oprah's real name, she was named Orpah by her aunt but changed it to Oprah for it to be pronounced easily. Still sounds awfully close to orca to me.

37. Most cats with blue eyes are more likely to be deaf and if a cat only has one blue eye, than it's more likely to be deaf in that ear.

38. Only certain animals can recoginze themselves in the mirror.

39. In 1945 the RAF accidentally sunk a ship full of Holocaust victims. The ship had been used in the Nazi propaganda film 'Titanic'. More people died on that ship than the actual Titanic.

40. In the original 'The Little Mermaid', Ariel commits suicide after witnessing the prince marry a princess.

41. A couple, buried together during the Roman-era, is still holding hands now 1,500 years later.

42. The Greek monster Medusa was, at one point, a virgin priestess of Athena and was said to be extremely beautiful. This beauty attracted the attention of Poseidon and he raped her at night while she was praying at the shrine. Athena was enraged at what had happened at her temple (back then, rape was said to be the woman's fault and not the man's) and cursed her to be an ugly Gorgon along with her sisters.

43. Certain Native American tribes considered homosexuals to be 'outside the world' and were made shamans, and that because of their high standing in the tribe, some men took male lovers as well in hopes of raising their own status.

44. Japan is forbidden to participating in wars by the 9th article which states, 'the Japanese people forever renounce war as a sovereign right of the nation and the threat or use of force as means of settling international disputes'.

45. Russia is drilling a hole through the Earths crust into the Mantle just to see what happens.

46. During WW2 Russia was responsible for 80% of Germany's military deaths.

47. Deaf babies exposed to sigh language babble with their hands.

48. In 1940, nearly 22,000 Poles, mostly military officers, were systematically slaughtered under order from Stalin and his regime. The Russians blamed the massacre on Nazi Germany right up until 1990.

49. Abraham Lincoln filed for bankruptcy in the 1830's.

50. Queen Elizabeth II qualified as a lorry driver in the Second World war. Kick. Ass.

51. A group of zebras is called a zeal.

52. The first ever person to be photographed is only visible because he happened to be holding still while get a shoeshine for the entire ten-minute exposure.

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HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL:

Step 1: Pick cat up and cradle it in your left arms as if it holding a baby. Position right fore finger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and apply pessure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand as cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Step 2: Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat and repeat process.

Step 3: Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Step 4: Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly in left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger, hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Step 5: Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.

Step 6: Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Step 7: Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get yet another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases froom hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

Step 8: Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Step 9: Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Step 10: Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Step 11: Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Step 12: Call fire department to retrieve the @%!#*$ cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Step 13: Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little %$#&*@ 's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece or fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Step 14: Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Step 15: Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:

Step 1: Wrap pill in bacon.

Step 2: Toss bacon/pill combo in air.

Step 3: Sit back and wonder what all the noise from next door was and if it had anything to do with the cat they had to get down from the top of your tree.

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Two Dead Boys:

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,

I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about,

The admission is free, so pay by the door,

Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One bright day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,

A mute man came to shout 'Horray!'

A deaf policeman heard the noise and

Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,

In a two story house on a vacant lot;

A man with no legs came walking by,

and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,

into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;

The long black hearse came to cart him away,

But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,

The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;

But if you doubt my lies are true,

Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Tyler Rager

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