Wild horses could...

...and have dragged me off on many adventures, which is why you'll find so many horses in my tales. They've tried to teach this block headed human about "the elvish way with all good beasts" with a little success. A few have been legitimate wild mustangs, particularly the wise black mare with the star like Earendil's: Olori Eldalie, and I still can't find the funny little dotty thing that goes over the e...

I have trained a 3 1/4 dog mushing team (which mostly runs on wheels)... ask me about Max the Hobbit Husky.

I've carved The Gourd of the Rings underwater, jumped off a perfectly good floatin' boat in the middle of the ocean to look at a sunken one, kayaked mosquito infested salt marshes, backpacked the edge of the world (a barrier island called Assateague), thrown up a tent in a sandstorm (Assateague beach in a bit of wind... fun), spent one Halloween and an earthquake on pirate ships (Pride of Baltimore II and Kalmar Nyckel, they do public sails), slept rolled in a wool cloak by campfires and under a faering boat (the Vikings' version of a pickup truck), discovered tipis are the Ultimate Tent, spent Thanksgiving with the Indians and one Halloween working with a lovely young man with a great Dracula accent... because he was, in fact, from Transylvania.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

As a wildlife rehab volunteer I have wrangled emus (designed to shed lariats, and they kick), otters (they can bite through 6 mil dive gloves), various raptors (little feathery ones, I am not as cool as Chris Pratt), driven in a van with a vomiting vulture (ugh!), been "handcuffed" to a perch by Iris the One Eyed Owl, discovered that you (gently) herd porcupines with a shovel, learned that Bambi is armed with four sets of kung-fu blades (hooves, sharp, fast, ow), learned to love vultures, especially Khan the Black Vulture who liked earrings and untying shoelaces, and wrestled one (very small) tiger.

I could not make this stuff up.

Adventure is out there. And it's not expensive. Go have one.

Then write more stuff.

I have named several trucks, vans, horses, dogs, cats, kayaks and their paddles in Elvish. I live with Legolas (pointy ears, runs on snow) and Nightcrawler (dark, fuzzy, pointy eared and definitely bamfs). Also named a pygmy goat Gimli.

Anything else you want to know (bwa ha ha!) is on my website: just google swordwhale, I am Swordwhale Walking: Illustration and Swordwhale: Earth Life Fandom (wordpress). This (ifit shows up OK): http:///

My Life in Fandom (and other stuff you should skip to read the actual stories)

Step into the tardis... we're going to 1977:

Star Wars had just hit the silver screen, and I was hooked. A fellow fan dumped a pile of verbiage in my hands and said, "read this, it's good."

I stared at the immense stack and thought "Lo! In my copious free time... somewhere in the 21st century." The Immensity was of course, Lord of the Rings.

Somewhat later, I borrowed a tent from a second cousin twice removed, so I could spend a week on a desert island called Assateague. He told me about this game they played: D&D. I showed up, rolled up a character, waved the paper at the DM and said, "What do I make of this?"

"Play an Elf."

"What?" You mean like Herbie, in Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?

"It's Hermey. Read Lord of the Rings."

I did, in 1978. Many years, many fantasy illustrations, several fanfics, essays and re-readings later, I'm still a fan of the original fantasy epic that spawned the rest (LOTR was born the same year I was). The Professor has inspired me to go on a few adventures of my own, and find my own world and characters and write about them.

I grew up on westerns (TV was full of them), Star Trek (TOS), spy and cop shows. The old Superman series introduced me to superheroes. I read fairy tales, horse stories, and the odd wilderness adventure. I loved the Jungle Book... the BOOK (also liked the Disney film, though why they made Kaa a villain is beyond me!). Disney was a huge influence: we watched The Wonderful World of Color on a black and white TV. Then Star Wars, the re-emergence of Star Trek, some Asimov and Clark, that dragonlady Anne McCaffery, Nancy Springer, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park and some other great stuff. I did conventions back in the 80s and cosplayed before they invented the word. In those days, you could walk down the convention halls in full armour with real swords... and then go to the mall in the same costume. In our present paranoid world... not so much.

I had heard of Doctor Who all along, but was unable to watch it regularly until 2014. I love it. I envision binge-watching 50 years of it soon.

Sherlock is brilliant. I had read the books back in high school, and the BBC version is a wonderful adaptation.

Of course I have seen the Princess Bride a gazillion times.

And Marvel Comics! Avengers! X-Men!

Pixar! Hiyao Miyazaki! Dreamworks!

I am aware of some of the more recent fandoms but don't have time to watch all of them, because I want to keep writing my own stories.

Find me on Inkitt (updated fanfic and original stories) under Teanna or link from my website. This (if it shows up): http:///teanna