Humorous short letters to Bleach fanfiction authors: what the characters would say in response to common fanfic clichés. Canon universe, mostly. No non-canon pairings. Drabble series. Plus, how to improve your writing in ten easy lessons from the Shinigami Women's and Men's Associations.

Ichigo is a warm, kind-hearted kindergarten teacher. Grimmjow is a carpenter with an odd disorder. When their paths cross, interest is sparked and each tries to figure the other out. AU, yaoi, swearing, violence.

Sexting is harder then it looks. Grimmjow and Ichigo have learned this the hard way.

"A grown man with a pink milk moustache wasn't one of the most arousing sights I'd ever seen, but I had to give him points for making me laugh." AU GrimIchi! Grimmjow's repeated attempts at wooing the ginger, all somehow revolving around their shared love for strawberry milk.

Ichigo is staying with his uncle, who operates a store along a rarely-travelled road. It's a peaceful, relaxing place, until a mysterious stranger shows up at their doorstep, injured and unconscious.

Deep down inside, in the heart of every human being, lives a dark, dirty secret. Fantasies that they dare to indulge only in the privacy of their minds. Yes, everyone, even Kurosaki Ichigo: staight-A senior, star athlete of Karakura University, future doctor, also known as Most Eligible Bachelor in his year. Except, his fantasy came true. Warning: Non-con.

'Grimmjow was livid; some punk had the nerve to moon him, and think they could get away with it' –AU! GrimIchi. Officer Jaegerjaquez has the perfect punishment for the ginger delinquent. Fast cars, YAOI, handcuffs, spanking, cursing, and did I mention handcuffs? ;)

Grimmjow has a pretty un-idealistic job. But his customer will hopefully keep coming back, he has it pretty easy with this one. (Future for fic - Grimm's job is becoming overwhelming, and now he has to try and evade his boss of an A-Rate prick. - will Ichigo save what's left?) Will be a full grimmichi fic later, but for now a oneshot -not grimmichi- m/m, lemon, prostitute, drugs.

Grimmjow doesn't speak. Ichigo never asked him to. Love is only one of many invisible monsters. AU Yaoi.

I live in a pretty shitty apartment complex. One of the downsides is the fact that, apparently, two people can't take a shower at the same time. Every time the guy upstairs showers, it fucks with the pipes and I end up nearly getting cooked by boiling water. And this asshole just loves to take a shower right when I'm taking mine. Warnings posted inside.

"Don't thank me just yet. If ya change yer mind, don't drop the soap." Jail sex. Simple, right? GrimmIchi AU Yaoi

I can't get mad. He can't control his medications. He can't control his hormones, but I can control my temper. No one told me being in love would make me feel this insane.

Creative vent. I just needed to get this out of me. I don't care if you review or not.

"Hey Maka," he started once again. "For you and me, today is all we have; tomorrow is a mirage that may never become a reality." - SxM

"Just once every year on this exact day, you are allowed to think about me. Every other day, live freely as if I never existed. You have to promise me, okay?" - SxMxK

Ichigo is a premed student with an interesting night job: Stripper at a gay bar. Grimmjow sees something he wants and will do whatever he has to to have it. A lewd proposition he can't refuse, but just how far will it go? AU, Yaoi, slight OOC.