If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile

If you love to copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

"Life is empty and so is the fridge."

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to Google or YouTube just after you've thought of it, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think fanfiction contributes to society and people ought to get placed in Guiness books for it, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have tests all week long but are looking around people's profiles and laughing at random things, copy and paste this to your profile

Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

I didn't get accepted to Hogwarts so I moved to Great Falls, Montana

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up

Good Friend VS Best Friend

A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them. A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa. A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"

A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

A good friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A good friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A good friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL 8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 ) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)

You know it's 2015 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave!

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years!

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name on my space!

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the T.V!

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job!

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling!

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends!

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5!

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5!

11.) Now you're laughing at your self stupidly!

way to Annoy the Heck Outta Folks At the Movie Theater... Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!" Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!" Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

11 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is! Why the heck would you keep looking for it after you found it? Do people acually do this? WHo and where are they? I'm gonna kick their butts! 5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No loser. I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there did ya sunshine? 7. When something is new and improved. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "Life's too short." What the heck!? Life is longest thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you're waiting for the bus and someone asks "Did the bus com yet?" If the bus had come would i be standing her dumbie? 10. When people ask "Can I borrow a piece of paper?" Come on! How do you borrow a piece of paper!? What, write on it, then erase everything and give it back? 11. When a cop pulls you over and asks "Do you know how fast you were going?" You should know! You're the gay wad that pulled me over in the first place!

Girls are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

my favorit castle quote

There is a universal truth that we all have to face,

Whether we want to or not:

Everything eventually ends.

As much as I’ve looked forward to this day,

I’ve always disliked endings.

The last day of summer,

The final chapter in a great book,

Parting ways with a close friend.

But endings are inevitable.

Leaves fall,

We close the book,

You say good-bye.

Today is one of those days for us.

Today we say good-bye

to everything that was familiar,

Everything that was comfortable.

We’re moving on.

But just because we’re leaving,

And that hurts,

There are some people

Who are so much a part of us,

They’ll be with us no matter what.

They are our solid ground,

Our North Star,

And the small clear voices in our hearts

That will be with us.

Always.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie.

Opening Credits: letter to me- Brad Paisley

Waking Up: something to be proud of-Montgomery Gentry

First Day At School: just a cup of coffee –Trisha Yearwood

Falling In Love: Your gonna miss this- Trace Adkins

Fight Song: Over you-Miranda Lambert

Breaking Up: I’ll always remember you- Hannah Montana

Prom night: Today was a fairytale-Taylor swift

Life: Haunted- Taylor Swift

Mental Breakdown: close-Rascal Flatts

Driving: I’m only me when I’m with you-Taylor Swift

Flashback: Should’ve said no-Taylor Swift

Getting back together: white horse-Taylor Swift

Wedding: she wouldn’t be gone-Blake Shelton

Birth of First Child: then I did- Rascal Flatts

Final Battle: need you now-Lady Antebellum

Funeral Song: just a dream-Carrie Underwood

Final Credits: changes in latitude, changes in attitude- jimmy Buffett

Copy this into your profile and try it for yourself!

You say Twilight. I say Harry Potter.

You say Vampires. I say Wizards.

You say Renesmee, the Half-Blood vampire. I say Professor Severus Snape, the Half-Blood Prince.

You say Jacob Black. I say Sirius Black.

You say Team Edward. I say Team Weasley.

You say Edward Cullen. I say Cedric Diggory.

You say Bella & Edward. I say Ron & Hermione.

You say Bella. I say Bellatrix.

You say the Volturis. I say the Malfoys.

You say Stephanie Meyer, the joker. I say J. K. Rowling, the Queen.

You say shape shifters who change when they're pissed. I say werewolves who contort in the moonlight.

You say "romance". I say adventure.

You say emo girl who can't fight her own battles. I say feisty ginger who packs a mean punch.

You say Washington. I say Scotland.

You say American. I say British.

You say divorce. I say death by evil leader.

You say Victoria. I say Voldemort.

You say Charlie. I say James.

You say 'Oh my gosh they're making the final part into 2 movies'. I say 'Yeah, they're copying a series they can never live up to'.

You say 7 amazing years worth of emo girls and I-had-spicy-tuna vampires. I say 14 PHENOMENAL years worth of suspense, adventure, drama AND humor.

You're in a phase that will blow over in a year or two. I'm in an era that will never not see the light(:

Because Twilight is just a phase...Harry Potter is a way of life

Dear Twilight,

Our Charlie works with dragons - yours is a bad parent.

Our Bella was a psychotic fighter - yours couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag.

Our James was a Marauder - yours was a creepy guy.

Our Alice still loves her son even though she lost her mind - yours is an irritating, overly preppy child.

Our Blacks are a complicated ancient family warring between them over the rights of good and evil - yours are two idiots who think they know everything.

Our Robert Pattinson is good, loyal man who died fighting Voldemort - yours sparkled in the sun.

Our werewolf died trying to create a better world for his son to live in - yours fought over a girl who was already taken and then fell in love with her daughter.

Sincerely,

Harry was here first.

I write with the freedom I cannot speak- Simone Robinson.

I look down on misguided, self-righteous people. It's amusing- Simone Robinson.

If life's a bowl of cereal (and I'm quite certain it is) Then I'm a yellow fruity loop. Not being racist or anything, because I'm sure some pink trix is gonna come complaining- Simone Robinson

Nothing is sweeter than writing a sentient mind into the slow, decaying decent to insanity- Simone Robinson

One day you'll look back and ask: What have I done? But no one will be there to answer- Simone Robinson

If I throw away your computer and tell you that you must now write on scraps of paper and serviettes that you find lying around. That you have to type everything out using only your phone and then sit for hours and hours to send anything through, would you still write? If you say yes, then you have the soul of a true writer, if not, go home- Simone Robinson

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing- i-am-turk-fear-me

Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.- i-am-turk-fear-me

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon- i-am-turk-fear-me

'I love you' is eight letters. And so is 'bullshit'- i-am-turk-fear-me

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it- i-am-turk-fear-me

I shall update as the plot bunnies bite me!- Muse2488 (Musey)

I'm afraid that it will be consigned to writer's-block hell for all eternity.- IronAmerica

Whatever you aspire to write, write it. If you quit something halfway, you don't have the makings of a true writer.- Boasamishipper

You only live once? Prove it.- Boasamishipper

Love is like water… You can fall in it, you can drown in it, but we can’t live without it :)- Boasamishipper

Writing is my way of releasing pent-up emotions. You have a bad day? A good one? A semi-interesting one? Let the description flow out through your fingers and onto your screen. -Boasamishipper

It's nice to see everyone hooking up. (Well, mostly everyone, but you know what I mean.) -Boasamishipper

There are four stages in life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.

-Boasamishipper

That was not skiing. That was walking a mile with twenty pounds strapped to your feet. -Boasamishipper

Just love life and it will love you back. -Boasamishipper

"For me, starting out so young, fanfic became my English teacher, my sex-ed class, my favorite hobby, and the source of some of my dearest friends. It also provided me with a crash course in social justice and how to respect and celebrate diversity, both of characters and fic writers." -- Kelli Joyce.

"Sarcasm is just wisdom for the hyper-aware." -- David Collison.

"Writing is the soul's escape door. Don't be afraid to walk through it :)." -- Becky Oakey.

"I like this character. I wonder what they'd look like beat up and crying." -- Tumblr post

The 21 Fanfiction Commandments

1. Thou shalt not intentionally write crappy fanfiction.

2. Thou shalt not publish fanfiction unless thy or thine beta knows the difference between their, they’re, there, and the air.

3. Thou shalt not review thine own fanfiction, whether thou dost so anonymously or logged in to thine account. If thou wish to speak to a reviewer, send thine reviewer a PM.

4. Thou shalt not behave like a brat if thine fanfic receives constructive criticism, even if it be harsh.

5. Thou shalt not write a self-insert character who becomes the love interest of the main character in the series for which thou art writing.

6. Thou shalt learn to be humble while receiving both praise and critique

7. Thou shalt not create false profiles to review thine own stories for the sake of raising the review count.

8. Thou shalt not place thy fanfiction up for public viewing whilst demanding that only positive reviews be left.

9. Thou shalt not plagiarize any author’s work.

10. Thy lemons shall be properly grown, being both anatomically accurate and physically possible.

11. Thou shalt not withhold a chapter from thy story because thy story is not getting reviews.

12. Thou shalt not try to start a flame war with people who leave constructive criticism.

13. Thou shalt take flames with a grain of salt.

14. Thou shalt know the difference between a flame and a review full of constructive criticism.

15. Thou shalt permanently remove any plagiarized stories the first time after thou hast been caught posting them.

16. Thou shall spell the names of canon characters correctly. If thou dost not know how to spell the name of a canon character, thou shalt consult Google, Wikipedia, or the character selection bar in the filter tab for thy fandom’s fanfiction.

17. Thou shalt not change the names of canon characters if thou country’s dub did not change them.

18. If thou must write a story involving pregnancy that is not a parody, thou must depict pregnancy accurately.

19. Thou must understand the meaning of parody and satire.

20. If writing a fanfiction that is not in thine native language, thou shalt get help from a beta who is fluent in that language.

21. If thou shalt break any of these commandments, may thine payoff be worth it, for there art no rules in art but that thou art be good.