Name: "None of your business". No, seriously. That's my name.

(Not really)

Age: (e(i*pi) - 27 *40 5 * 106)/12 - 5

Sex: 95% Male. Or 100%. It's sometimes hard to tell.

Ethnicity: Neptune-born Martian.

My name is Ekusukallybaa, except that it really isn't. You are currently reading my ridiculously long profile (Though at least it's my profile. As in a profile filled with stuff that I wrote. On my own. Not stuff taken from other profiles.)

I write, or wrote, until my muse decided to stop cooperating with me. Now that it's started cooperating again, just a little bit, I'm back. Hopefully.

Because that's how I roll.

I also know a guy called Serendipity, also known as Ser Serendipity. I once told him that his fic's version of Itachi was an irredeemable monster and that I wouldn't be satisfied if he wasn't dead by the end of his story. He responded by offering me a position as his beta reader for that same story, an offer I accepted ten minutes later.

You should totally check out his story, Not Sick, by the way. It actually made me like Itachi again, despite what a bastard he was acting like in the first chapter, and what Serendipity has planned for the story? It will blow your mind.

Projects:

1) Itachi is a Massive Troll

Comments: Itachi trolls Sasuke. Nothing more needs to be said.

2) Genius and Insanity

Comments: Pure, bite-sized chunks of crack. Read it, snort it, enjoy it. Also, a thanks to my beta Ser Serendipity, without who's encouragement this story would never have existed.

3) Actions and Words

Comments: Sasuke is Good All Along, and only left the village because he thought it was the best way to protect his friends. Features Awesome!Sasuke, Awesome!Naruto, and massive amounts of the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!!! Warning: This is probably the most shounen thing I ever have or ever will write.

Update: No longer nearly as shounen as it was before.

4) Sasuke Uchiha OR How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mangekyo Sharingan

Summary: The Mangekyo Sharingan reveals things to its users. Many, many things. Like the fact that the entire world is an illusion, and the only way to escape is to die. Sasuke just decides to speed this process along. Also, the Uchiha have amazing hair, and fuck you if you disagree. Collab fic with Ser Serendipity.

Planned Stuff/Plot Bunnies:

Note: I still reserve the right to not write some of these if I don't feel like it.

Narutoverse

1) Obito-Sensei

Summary: During the fateful mission to the Kannabi Bridge, Obito is too slow, and Kakashi ends up paying the price with his life. Fourteen years later, Legendary Elite Jounin Mangekyou no Obito is placed in charge of a very familiar genin team.

Note: The above probably won't ever be written due to recent developments in the manga. If anyone out there wants to try out the prompt, then be my guest. Just PM me so I can check out what you've written.

Note 2: Ser Serendipity's currently writing it. Check it out if interested. It's really quite good.

2) Stuck at Level One

Summary: Naruto wakes up one day to find out his entire life is a video game. Unfortunately, his propensity for befriending his enemies rather than kill them makes leveling up rather difficult...

Explanations:

Well, I promised I would put my explanation for the Great Snake Escape on my profile at some point. Here it is:

There are three possible explanations.

All of them, of course, start out with Sasuke hypnotizing Manda before the fight with Deidara even began. This makes sense, since a) it explains why Suigetsu randomly has a scroll to summon Manda on him, and b) because it would make sense for Sasuke to neutralize him before he took on Orochimaru, to stop the latter from summoning him. Since we've already seen from Tobi that it is possible to place long-term genjutsu on people, which keep them in a sedated state for extended period of time, this pretty much matches up with everything we know.

Then, there's exactly how Sasuke summoned Manda to him at the end of the fight.

The first explanation is the simplest. Just like how Suigetsu had a scroll to summon Manda, Sasuke could have had one too and just whipped that out at the last second to escape.

The next two explanations is a bit more complex, and is based off of a simple observation: when Sasuke was out of chakra during the Deidara fight, nothing happened to him. However, when he was out of chakra during his fight against Itachi, Orochimaru tried to eat him from the inside out.

The second explanation is thus that Sasuke wasn't actually out of chakra during the Deidara fight. In other words, he turned off his sharingan as a bluff. This is supported by two points.

First, there was the fact that Sasuke didn't actually use too many chakra-intensive jutsu during the fight. He threw around a few chidoris and entered his cursed seal form a few times, but nothing major, considering how he throws chidoris around like candy post-timeskip.

Second is that Sasuke's internal monologue never states that he's out of chakra. That's an observation that Deidara makes after seeing him deactivate the sharingan. Thus, it's quite possible that Sasuke, while tired, wasn't quite as exhausted as he seemed.

The third explanation, and the one that is most likely the canon explanation, is that Sasuke used some of Orochimaru's power to fuel that last summoning, and possibly the genjutsu as well.

This probably would have weakened Sasuke's restraints on Orochimaru, which accounts for how he managed to break free at the end of the Itachi fight in canon, and also explains why the only times Sasuke seriously draws on jutsu that Orochimaru uses (AKA The Power of the White Snake that he uses to heal incredibly quickly after the Deidara fight, and the Orochimaru-style Body Replacement Technique during the Itachi fight) are AFTER the GSE.

So yeah. Hope that's satisfactory.