I don't really like to talk about myself, so I'll keep it brief: I like to draw, and I like to write. And I like comics.

I've been writing fanfic for a while now. Previously it used to be for the heck of it, but nowadays I do it for my primary goal of improving my writing.

As a writer I believe in attention to detail and research research research. Characterization is King, and an author should know why they put in what they put into their story, and how it adds to their overall goal for the story. Which, of course, they should have had some idea of by the time they started writing.

I enjoy writing AUs. I also enjoy making use of OC Stand-Ins, that is, developing out-of-focus characters from the source material. For this reason, my fics are usually rife with minor characters.

Most of my fics are what you would call "Genfics", which focus more on plot and story. I'm not a very "pairings" person, though not anti-romance. I just don't like reading stories where the romance is the focus. If it happens as a natural consequence of events and doesn't swallow up the whole story, AND if the characters stay in character, I'm fine with it.

Please note I do not warn for pairings in my fics. I understand this may be a convention in modern fanfic circles, but I'd rather not pander to it. In any case, my fics are not primarily about shipping and it goes against my storytelling principles of not spoiling my own stories.

I will warn for any content that may be considered excessive or offensive, but keep in mind there may be things that I might miss out because what constitutes as "offensive" varies from person to person and place to place. The whole world isn't a homogenised mass, so unless I warn for every single thing that happens in my fics, I won't be able to cover everything. I will try my best to cover for what can be considered reasonable, though.

Oh, and I should probably mention that I write primarily in British English (with occasional lapses into American, due to cultural osmosis), so there are probably certain slang words and spelling conventions that might seem odd to non BritEng readers. I should also mention that I have an addiction to the use of parentheses. (Yeah it's bad I know, but every writer needs a vice. Parentheses are mine.)

My Current Active Stories:

Note: I'm including progress percentages on the state of the next chapters now, just to give you all a better idea on when to expect the next update. Do refrain from nagging me to update, please? It stresses me out, my writing suffers when that happens. Just know that I AM working on it. Cheers.

ONE PIECE

Though a Bird Can't Fly, That Doesn't Mean It Never Will - [In Progress] My first OP fic, ongoing. Zoro-centric, in this AU Kuina survives. Self-challenge in the form where the first line of each chapter has to be echoed by the last line of the same chapter. The first few chapters are shaky, but it gradually improves after a while as I started getting used to writing again. Type: "For The Want Of A Nail AU.

Note: I just found out someone actually created an entire page for TABCF on TV Tropes! ( tvtropes. org/ pmwiki/pmwiki.php /Fanfic/ThoughABirdCantFly) I wish I could explain why this makes me feel so pleased, but all I can say is: Thanks, Andyroid!

Next Chapter Progress: 33%

The Supernova Eleven [In Progress] / In Five Pieces [Completed] - "In Five Pieces" is a short series of 100, 200 and 300 word drabbles based on an alternate universe where the Strawhats comprised of members of the 11 Supernovas. Written as a response to a prompt challenge... then it really, really got out of hand. A more detailed fic version is in the works and known as The Supernova Eleven.

Indonesian translation "15 Pieces" by the wonderful ReadR!

French translation by 6Lisa9

I've had people asking permission to translate it to Mandarin and Vietnamese as well. Since FFnet blocks external links in PMs, I have no idea where some of those translations are posted, to be honest, but many thanks to the people who have managed to send me the links! Type: "For the Want Of a Whole Toolbox Of Nails" AU

Next Chapter Progress: 39% (No I haven't given up on it, just... hitting another block)

Marie D. Suesse and the Mystery New Pirate Age! - [Completed] A semi-intellectual deconstruction/reconstruction of the Mary Sue/OCs wanted! genre. Not really an all-out bash fic as it focuses more on exploring the impact of the events depicted in those self-insert fics if they weren't glossed over. It is also a self-challenge on whether it is possible to write an entertaining and readable story despite incorporating as many Mary Sue cliches as possible, thus proving my theory that Mary Sues are mostly hated not just because they are perfect, but generally because the writers of those fics just plain don't know how to tell a story. Type: Deconstructive Parody, with some reconstruction, horror, and mystery elements.

Note: The Mystery New Pirate Age now has its own page on TV Tropes, courtesy of Pezt! Cheers! (/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/MarieDSuesseAndTheMysteryNewPirateAge)

Next Chapter Progress: Complete. Mirrored on AO3.

An Italian translation of MDSatMNPA! is also currently in the works by John Spangler:

Marie D. Suesse e la misteriosa Nuova Era della Pirateria!
/viewstory.php?sid=2789787&i=1

XCOM/Diablo

The Excommunication Project: Enemy Unknown - [In Progress] My first crossover story ever. Basically XCOM set in Diablo-verse.

XCOM: From the Ashes of Temples a.k.a The Ones Left Behind- [In Progress] I totally blame a certain person for giving me XCOM: Enemy Within as a present for my birthday and getting me so addicted to this game that I had to make a story out of the epic battles of my Impossible campaign troops.

pingteo's DeviantArt - / (My DA page, contains illustrations for my fanfics, OP art and other stuff.)

Notable Fanfic-related Art Pieces

Though A Bird Can't Fly, That Doesn't Mean It Never Will

Speedpainting - Kuina and Piers, Season 2 designs - /art/TABCF-Season-2-262489949

Illustration - Death Note Luffy - /gallery/#/d3fc5z1

Illustration - Captain Barkskin - /gallery/#/d3efox4

Illustration - Smoker's Crew - /gallery/#/d2xuo8g

Sketches - Piers and Briggs - /gallery/#/d2xfnod

Sketches - Misc Characters - /gallery/26379050#/d2mmnyt

Illustration - Kimono Kuina/gallery/26379050#/d2ehrnm

Season 2 Cover - /art/TABCF-Season-2-Cover-Version-1-348099248

Fanart from Readers:

All Fanfic Fanarts

Though A Bird Can't Fly, That Doesn't Mean It Never Will

Zoro VS Kuina by Override7400 - /art/Zoro-and-Kuina-201291325

The Supernova Eleven / Drabble, Drouble, Toil and Trebble!

Sketch - Bellemere and Momonga Drinking Buddies - /gallery/#/d36rh6d

Illustration - Nico Robin and X Drake - /#/d4cevgq

Fanart from Readers:

Supernova Eleven by Mauriko - /#/d5lzyf8 *NEW!

Marie D Suesse and the Mystery New Pirate Age!

All Marie D. Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age Art @ /gallery/44224232

Sketch - Mar and the Logic-Logic Fruit - /art/Mar-and-the-Logic-Logic-fruit-in-hat-284746035

Sketch - "Demon" Walker - /art/quot-Demon-Walker-284744588

Sketch - "Sand-Dragon" Gurnarde - /art/quot-Sand-Dragon-quot-Gurnarde-284744181

Illustration - 'Sand-Dragon' Gurnarde, A Mermaid in Colour - /#/d4ume1e

Illustration - Mr. Garreth Suesse - /#/d4uoyqe

Illustration- The Disinfector and Mar - /art/The-Disinfector-and-Mar-298362625

Sketch - "Red" - /art/Red-322413134

Comic - "The Mystery New Pirate Age! #32 (Outtakes) /#/d5oi9to

Sketch - The Mer-Siblings - /#/d5olhvb

Doodle - Full Cast Picture - /art/The-Mystery-New-Pirate-Age-Main-Cast-SPOILERS-375029539

Fanart from Readers:

Marie D Suesse Fanart by LittleMissUnknown - /#/d5omvll

New Crew Member by Colors-of-Iris - /#/d5ow0vp

I swear it, Mar by sasuhina0324 - /art/I-swear-it-Mar-374125557

Some Drawings of Mar by ghostfiish - /post/70647858775/ghostfiish-some-drawings-of-mar-full-name#tumblr_notes

Mar and Law by colitas - /aXsKTpW

Phalanx's Fanfic Jargon Decryption and Taboo List:

Sturgeon's Law says 90 percent of everything fanfic is crap. Maybe by learning to decipher what the story summaries (and related) REALLY mean, I can bypass the 90 and get to the good 10 percent. At least, I hope.

1. "Don't Like Don't Read" = Author is insecure about own work and scared of being flamed. If an author is that scared of criticism, chances are they're unlikely to improve in their writing, making the chances of what they've already written highly unlikely to be something worth reading anyway. Just stick with the "Don't Read" portion.

2. CharacterxOC, Character2xOC, Character3xOC = OC romances can be done well. Multiples of those in one fic and advertised in the summary? Priority of writer is shown that way. No. Just no.

3. "Will Only Update If I Get Enough Reviews" = Author lacks confidence in own ability and needs to emotionally blackmail readers into leaving reviews. If the the story is worth reading, people would leave reviews. If the story is really bad, people leave flames. If the story is mediocre, people ignore it. (Deal with it!) Not worth reading as the chances of the story being left hanging is extremely high.

4. "My Summary Sucks!" = Skip. If one cannot write a good summary of a hundred words or so, can really I hope for a better effort in a few thousand words? I think not.

5. "Don't Send Me PMs, Reply in Reviews" = Author wants to artificially inflate number of reviews to hide the fact quality of writing does not match up. Ignore.

6. "Character is now called OCname and is Totally Different Person" = OC story with a paper-thin disguise as fanfic. (Seriously, what's the point? Is the story that damn bad they have to try and trick people into reading it?)

7. "OCs Needed!" = MMORPG Self-Inserts Needed. I wouldn't dislike this type of fic so much if it wasn't for the fact most of them seem to extremely bland and relying on a readership of people who want to see their characters in the story propping it up. Worst of all, they seem to be copying the same ideas from each other, with hardly any new twists or original input at all. Where art thou, imagination and creativity? Also, they have inflated review counts from misusing the reviews section as a forum, making my job of finding genuinely well-reviewed stories so much harder.

8. "No Flames!" = See entry #1.

9. "Mysterious" followed by the word "Girl" followed by attractive canon character's names mentioned in ANY story summary = See entry #2

10. A (Colour) haired girl/guy with (colour) eyes wearing (clothing description) was (Activity) = Every character's introduction is done in this same pattern. And then every subsequent reference to them is 99% of the time referencing the colour of their hair or eyes. Because there is absolutely no other defining feature about them other than their freaking eyes and hair. Nice to know their priorities, and thanks for making it easy on me to identify a bad writer. Hit the back button for this one. Don't click if any appear in the summary.

11. It's Better Than It Sounds = Highly Doubtful if the author is the one saying this...

12. Anything with the words " his/her lover" in the title or summary = See (#2)

13. This is a story about X, an OC who joins the [main cast name here] = See (#9)

14. The first sentence of the summary starts with the OC's name, and the rest of the summary is all about describing the OC = See (#9) again.

15. If You Have Nothing Nice To Say, Don't Say Anything At All = A well-meaning, if extremely BAD piece of advice oft repeated by people who didn't know better, and probably has been responsible for more damage and heartbreak than outright sabotage has ever managed. Sure, one's ego is preserved that way, but that's a very steep price to pay for keeping yourself in denial and not hearing things you NEED to hear. Good friends tell the hard truth to the people they care about, because they want to help their friends get better. False friends will insincerely tell you how great you are in your face and ditch you when you get overconfident as a result of it and make a prat of yourself. Good friends, they tell you the things you don't want to hear, but they also stick with you unless you drive them away. Don't drive them away.

Phalanx's Good Fanfic Glossary:

1. OC = Only-Created-Out-Of-Necessity Character. If there are no secondary background characters or cameos you can use to fulfill whatever it is you have planned, THEN you create an OC to serve that purpose. Not the other way around.

2. Romance = Something you only end up writing into a story as a side effect of the plot because two characters ended up having too much chemistry you couldn't just ignore it because that would have been unrealistic.

3. Research = Something you should always do before even thinking about writing about a topic you know nothing about. At the very least read the Wikipedia article on the subject, will you?

4. Concrit = Solid gold. Hug and thank the reviewer and then hug and thank them some more.

5. Paragraph-Break = Requirement to keep any kind of writing readable.

6. Line-Break = Something FFnet eats for dessert but you can and have to reinstate manually.

7. Succinctness = The key to good writing. If you can't write a good summary, you can't write a good anything with a word limit. If you can't write a good word-limited fic, you definitely can't write a good epic saga spanning several chapters because it's going to wander all over the place. What you're going to end up with is a handful of meandering chapters that never get to the point before you give up. And this is something I learned the hard way.

Sturgeon's Law says 10 percent of everything fanfic is to die for. If this is true this means that 10% of stories in genres you hate and dismiss out of hand are potentially better than the stuff you yourself come up with in your own preferred genres.

In short, for every 9 OC-centric fics plagued with Mary Sues, there is one that is actually so good that you will wish the characters were canon. This also means that for every 9 ham-handed shipping/slash stories, there is one that will win you over with their fantastic handling of the relationship and make you wish it really would happen.

Scary thought. But if I accept the 90% part of Strugeon's Law as true, I must also accept this 10% exists. And so I must remember to judge a story for its story qualities, and not the genre it belongs to.

Although inwardly I am convinced that Sturgeon's ratio is a bit off. 95 : 5 sounds about right.

There is one rule I follow above all else when it comes to writing. No it's not "Thou shalt spell-check", "Thou shalt not use purple prose or Said Bookisms" or even "Thou shalt not murder the English language".

No, the one cardinal rule of story writing for me is:

"Thou Shalt Not Be Boring".

Because no one reads a story for the beautiful language. All the writing technical skills in the world will do you no good if your story is boring. But if you're a skilled enough storyteller, readers will forgive you for bad grammar, typos and even crappy sentence structure. What they won't forgive you for however, is writing a dull story that they need to force themselves to read.

In the end of the day, we call ourselves authors, but for all the glory of that title, try and remember at the very core of this craft, that we are humble storytellers, and a writer who does not master the craft of the storyteller is but a scribe with no audience.

There are two online offenses I have no tolerance for. One is plagiarism. The other is spam.