Hello my readers. If you're here, I feel that I can safely assume that you are interested by my work. I am no social butterfly, but I do enjoy conversing with my readers.

If a story has interested you, if I am late in updating, or if you just want to talk to me, feel free to message me. I enjoy speaking to those who are genuinely interested, and if I have expressed interest in one of your stories know that I hold you in the highest regard. I always respect fellow authors and the worst you will get from me is constructive criticism.

I enjoy talking about my stories so if you have questions about a character or if you would like me to write something for you, please let me know. If I know the topic and it interests me, chances are good that I will write for you. I hope that my little explanation was at least mildly interesting and/or useful, as I put some effort into this. Farewell my lovely readers, I hope you enjoy my work.

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7.The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.

16. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."

21. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you never go back."

22. I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".

25. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

27. I am not a tribble Animagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. Sirius Black is not #24601.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. I am not being repressed.

35. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.

36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. I am not a Pinball Wizard.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

49. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'

Quick! Write down 12 random characters from the Fable Series!

1. Sabine

2. Katarina (My princess)

3. Major Swift

4. Kalin

5. Barry Hatch

6. Eliot

7. Jasper

8. Reaver

9. Ben Finn

10. Walter

11. Logan

12. Paige

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfiction before? (Eliot/Logan)

Romantically no, but I did read this fic where Logan harassed Eliot mercilessly when Eliot tried to be with the Princess. It was funny.

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? (Barry Hatch)

Not really no.

3) What would happen if twelve and eight started going out? (Paige/Reaver)

The world would end. It would just explode.

4) Do you recall any fics about nine? (Ben Finn)

Several.

5) Would two and six make a good couple? (Katarina/Eliot)

Sure I guess, but I killed him in the beginning.

6) Five/Nine or five/ten? (Barry/Ben or Barry/Walter)

Oh good god... that's a terrifying thought... Barry/Ben if I MUST choose

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and eight kissing? (Jasper walks in on Katarina and Reaver)

"Oh, oh my. I'll go now." Leaves quickly, unnoticed by Rina and Reaver.

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. (Major Swift/Walter)

Walter and Swift are old friends and seasoned veterans. The question is, which one is better when it comes to holding their liquor?

9) Is there any such thing as a one/eight fluff? (Sabine/Reaver)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic. (Jasper/Paige)

Losing Good to Bad

11) Does anyone on your friends list read three? (Major Swift)

Nope.

12) Does anyone on your friend's list draw or write eleven? (Logan)

Awwwwwww Yisssss.

13)Does anyone on your friend's list write two/four/five? (Katarina, Kalin, Barry)

Nope.

14) What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? (Walter)

"BALLS!"

15) If you wrote a songfic about eight, what song would you use? (Reaver)

Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin

16)If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? (Sabine/Eliot/Paige)

Warning: Rebellion, awesome side characters, and explosions lie within.

17) What would be a good pick up line for eight to use on two? (Reaver/Katarina)

"If you're feeling down, I can feel you up."

18) 1.Sabine and 3.Major Swift are in a happy relationship until 5.Barry Hatch runs off with 9.Ben Finn. After 3.Major Swift dumps 1.Sabine for 12.Paige, 6.Eliot gets upset and retaliates by dating 12.Paige. Alone and broken-hearted, 1.Sabine travels in search of friends. Finally, 1.Sabine meets 8.Reaver and 4.Kalin. The three loners meet who tells each of them to look for love. 4.Kalin finds 7.Jasper, 8.Reaver finds 2.Katarina, but now 1.Sabine is stuck in a never ending triangle with 11.Logan and 6.Eliot.

19) What would be a good title for this fic?

Back to Basics

20) What would the genra(s) be?

Parody, humor.