Spaztic Arwen
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Joined 07-15-03, id: 419795
Author has written 11 stories for Van Helsing, Shrek, CSI, Once on This Island, and Misc. Plays/Musicals.

My moto: "All that is gold does not glitter"- JRR Tolkein

Name: Melissa

Country: USA

I'm just you're average teen with your average dreams.

Nicknames: Spazzy, Arwen, Isis, Sarcazmoo, Moochie, and MoMo

Kate and Leopold is living proof that i was born in the wrong century!

I'm hopeing that my junior year is half-decent and that i can stay ungrounded for longer than it takes for a reportcard to come out.

If i was going to list my favorite books, it would take forever, so i'll just say that I love Lord of the Rings, Sword of Truth, and if it's writen by Tamora Peirce, ya know i'll buy it the day it comes out.

I stand firm in the beleif that Austin Powers; spy who shagged me, Young Frankenstein, and Shrek are the funnyist movies on the planet, and that Rocky Horror Picture show is the weirdist thing ever created!

I also beleive that you are never ever to old to watch a Disney movie. I will be ninty and in my nursing home and still get the urge to pop in Lion King or Beuty and the Beast

I hope the world is a place where the ogre marries the princess, the beauty loves the beast, and the duinadan and the elf can live happily ever after.

I love just about any book, movie, tv show, cartoon, or fic that has an ISR (Inter-Species Relationship)(Yay for Goliath/Elisa. Aragorn/Arwen Frankenstein/oc and Remmy/Tonks!)

RCIs (Revenge-Crazed Idiots) rock my socks (Sirius Black, Inigo Montoya, Jason Canmore, ect...)

Quasimodo, Sidney Carton, Sam Gamgee & Remus Lupin are oficialy the most glompable guys in literature

The Princess Bride, Dragonheart, & Van Helsing oficialy kick arse!

I have the ambition and anitiative of Sidney Carton (which is like...nil) in everything but my writing

My advice to you:
~ Read the clasics. They're being published hundreds of years after they were writen for a reason.

~ If your looking to write a vampire novel, go back to the souce and read Dracula.

~ Shakespeare must be read with your mind open and partialy in the gutter.

I'm aspiring to be either the next Mel Brooks or the Next J.R.R. Tolkien, something i know will never happen, but oh well. There are worst asperations to have.

DRAMA FEST! (better than a festival of fools!

Fandom's i write/plan to write for:
Van Helsing
Lord of the Rings
Gargoyles/TGS
The Princess Bride
Shrek
A Knight's Tale
Tamora Pierce's Tortal series
Chronicals of Narnia
StarTrek:TNG
Left Behind
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Book)
Frankenstein (Book)
Disney (any movie i can think of a fic for)
Tale Of Two Cities (though it would probubly be just a parody, as much as i love that book)
Pirates of the Carabian
Gilmore Girls
Lost

Random things people i know say:

"I think E.T. is Jesus. Think about it. He desended from the sky, healed people, died, came back to life, then went back up in his 'space ship'"- Owen in a dramma club conversation

"Hey, Jesus conversation!"- Mrs. Landino, my dramma coach when we were trying to convince Owen that E.T. was not, in fact, the messiah

"This play is so booring that we have to think perverted when we're practicing."-Brenden during Our Town practice

"They will not be selling Orlando Bloom at the Topsfield Fair. Bloomin onions, yes, but no Orlando Bloom."- My friend Danielle when talking about the topsfield fair.

"It's not very comforting when you see a sign for "Make Your own Fudge" at a rest stop"- My dad

Qutes:

"I mearly chewed in self defence... but i never swalowed"- Draco, Dragonheart

"You are becoming what you have hunted so passionitly. May others be as passionet in the hunting of you"- Frankenstien, Van Helsing

"It's Alive! ALIVE!" Victor, Fredric, Henry,and David (if you know who David is, 10 extra points)

"Slow down boys, it's a long way to Damascus" Frank Hopkins, Hidalgo

"Are you a woman or a blacksmith!"
"Sometimes I'm both"- Roland & Kate, a Knight's Tale

"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!"- random Orc, Two Towers

"He's only mostly dead, mostly dead, is slightly alive."- Miricol Max, The Princess Bride

"INCONCEVABLE!"- Vecini, princess bride

"Yes! Yes! Say it! He Vos MY BOYFRIEND!"- Frow Blucher, Young Frankenstien

"You woman's slave!"- Creon, Antigony 1865

"Mawedge, Mawedge is wut bwrings us togeba to day."- the impressive clergyman, The princess bride

"Ah, Suhail, you will one day come to realize that their is no such thing as overkill" Nickolea Carpethia, Left Behind

"If I were a clone, would I know?" Tohru, JCA

"One... two... three..."
"TWELVE!"- 1 and 4, multiplicity

"Morons! I'm surounded by morons!" Carface, All dogs go to heaven

"The purpose of man's existance is...12!"
"TWELVE!"- Dr. Zubritski & Leon, fools

"But why is all the rum gone!"- Captian Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribian

"Hello, my name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die"- Inigo Montoya, Princess Bride. "That still only counts as one!" Gimli, Return of the King

"It's the beards"- Aragon, TT

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Terms of Endearment by Random-Battlecry reviews
Doomed to immortality and fed-up with his lot, Erik loses his temper and offs a group of his more annoying phangirls. He finds himself forced to take refuge in the cellar of an unlovely, unworthy Gerry-phanatic. Absolutely no E/OC, for the record.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 28,882 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 2/20/2005
Eternal by Timeless Rose reviews
The only thing Dracula believed separated him from Marishka's hand was her love for a handsome peasant boy. But she would be his, and she and Igor would suffer because of their mortal love for eternity.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,174 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/14/2010 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Marishka, Igor
Kingdom Come by Serengeti Dawn reviews
Chapter 15 up...A night that will forever alter the course of Animasia steadily ticks away as Elisa, Belle and Ella unknowingly hold its fate in their hands.
Disney - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,958 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 4/8/2003
Female Intuition by angel-death-dealer reviews
Sue's missing female company, especially given the situation. But with no girls around, will Johnny, Reed and Ben substitute for the girly talk she so desperately needs? SueReed romance, lots of humour. Rated for one use of language
Fantastic 4 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,872 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 10/19/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Complete
Long Walks and Coffee by Raven Morning reviews
Just a short two chapter fanfic based on Ben and Alicia when they go out for a day on the town. Some fluffiness. BenAlicia Read and Review please!
Fantastic 4 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,722 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/8/2007 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Ben G. - Complete
Seeing the Inside by IndigoNightandRayneStorm reviews
Alicia always sees the good in Ben. Short oneshot. Alicia's point of view.
Fantastic 4 - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Complete
A Splice Of Life by Nikoru Sanzo reviews
[Third Slice served and dedicated to Kydasam] Each Chapter or Slice is a ministory of the NonAdventures of Van Helsing and Carl. Rife with monks who need to get out more, a Monster in need of a hug, and a Mysterious Chicken in need of attitude adjustment.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,990 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/29/2007 - Published: 12/2/2004
Father by H.J. Bender reviews
Dracula visits the Valerious family the night their son Velkan is born, & claims him as his own. Throughout the years the vampire manipulates & torments the gypsy prince, destroying the Valerious family... DISCONTINUED
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 48,422 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/15/2006 - Published: 4/30/2006 - Complete
Bind by Margolo Blu reviews
Hudson learns about the difficulties of being a book, and celebrates Banned Book Week in his own special way. Mistakes fixed!
Gargoyles - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,181 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Published: 10/2/2006 - Hudson, Jeffery R. - Complete
He's Back by GreySide58 reviews
Oklahoma What happens when Curly has to rely on his enemy for help? Jud's back and very much alive and he's changed.
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 890 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/1/2006
Through the Veil by Christine Marquez reviews
Trouble is brewing in Transylvania and Van Helsing is once again called back, along with Carl, to take care of this evil plot. Can they manage to save the people of Transylvania with some help from unusual new guests? Old enemies, old friends
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 77,262 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/6/2006 - Published: 2/14/2005
Storm Born by MastersofNight reviews
Another sharp snap, the actinic glare paints my eyes with blue light even though they are closed. I hear her voice. My wife of the lightning has been born. Rated for violence and mild profanity. Reviews Please
Frankenstein - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,529 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/12/2006 - Published: 8/22/2005 - Complete
Connection by Ariyana reviews
Mina Harker and Dr. Henry Jekyll two sides of one coin? A collection of short stories based on Livejournal Community Stages of Love challenge. [Complete]
LXG - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,376 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Published: 3/8/2006 - Mina, Jekyll/Hyde - Complete
The Hawaiian and the Hunchback by Guille van Cartier reviews
Complete! Lilo visits the bell tower for a final time in an attempt to reassure a depressed Quasimodo...R and R...LiloStitch and HoND crossover
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 113,530 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/14/2006 - Published: 2/25/2004 - Complete
The Pitch! by Draco's Daughter reviews
The REAL reason we have Gargoyles.
Gargoyles - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/18/2005 - Complete
Getting Down to Business by Red Witch reviews
Just another average night of humor with a dab of angst at the Baxter Building as the Fantastic Four try to figure out what to have for dinner.
Fantastic 4 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,521 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/6/2005 - Complete
Lachrymae by lembas7 reviews
Tears of sorrow heralded their departure from the icy fortress. This is the story of the last journey of Anna Valerious, and the path to healing taken by those left behind. [Prequel to LAEVA DEI.]
Van Helsing - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,918 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/13/2005 - Complete
Humble Pie by Alex Archer by Howlcastle reviews
Ever wondered what Hagrid and Hermione talk about? Hagrid has a baking accident and Hermione find that there is more to slug vomiting than meets the eye...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,708 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/26/2005 - Hermione G., Rubeus H.
Choices by Maleficent Angel reviews
Without giving too much away, one key character from Hunchback acts selflessly, changing the outcome for Phoebus, Esmeralda, Frollo and Quasimodo, amongst others. COMPLETE! At last!
Disney - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,389 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/4/2005 - Published: 11/20/2004 - Complete
Creatures of the Night and Afternoon In Lit Class by Mizamour reviews
Various Frankenstein creatures from many different versions are all together in one place... angstness and parodying ensues.
Frankenstein - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,605 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/4/2005 - Published: 6/26/2005
You Are Cordially Invited by thoughts without purpose reviews
The Annual Ministry Auror Ball is coming up and Tonks needs to find a date, a dress, and the ability to dance. [COMPLeTE]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,845 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/11/2005 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks - Complete
Dear Frankie by Dragima reviews
Has anyone ever noticed the similarities between Phantom of the Opera and Frankenstein? :::cricket cricket::: guess not, but here it goes anyways!
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,195 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/10/2005 - Published: 7/8/2005
A Man of Stature by TrudiRose reviews
This is a sequel to my story "Just Rewards." But you don't have to read that story to read this one. It's the story of what happens to Gaston under the Enchantress' curse. COMPLETE!
Beauty and the Beast - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 50,558 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/18/2005 - Published: 9/23/2004 - Gaston - Complete
There and Back Again:Or so I Hope by Culumacilinte reviews
Girl falls into ME, joins the Fellowship, becomes best buds with Merry and Pippin, etc. I know it's an overused theme, but hey! Pleez read- I hand out Lembas to reviewers. This is a rewrite of There and Back Again (perhaps): A Humans Tale- it's better too
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,179 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/7/2005 - Published: 8/24/2004
Where I End And You Begin by Miss Kristin of the Shire reviews
After Sam experiences one of the most painful losses of his life, he is beckoned by the call of the sea...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,353 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 9/4/2004 - Published: 8/24/2004 - Samwise G.
Just Rewards by TrudiRose reviews
Belle doesn't get out of the cellar in time, and Gaston concocts a new plan involving the Beast.
Beauty and the Beast - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,209 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 26 - Published: 6/1/2004 - Complete
Van Helsing: the Microwaveable Pop Tart Version by Yrch Monger reviews
A “slightly” abridged version of the film Van Helsing. In which Gabriel has the intelligence of a swallow, Anna turns into Mufasa, and Carl is unable to distinguish which movie he’s actually starring in.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/11/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Vatican Clan reviews
Van Helsing's latest assignment to destroy a clan of gargoyles ends in massacre because of his new partner's vendetta. Now, he must redeem himself by protecting the child whose clan he helped destroy, and an old friend marked for the kill by the Order.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,061 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 8/12/2004 - Van Helsing, Frankenstein
Transylvanian Sketchpad reviews
My entries for the WordPrompt contest. In the first one-shot, Van Helsing, Carl, and Frankenstein prepare for Anna’s funeral. The second is lighter: a friendly rivalry turns hostile on Christmas Eve.
Van Helsing - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,720 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/2/2007 - Published: 7/7/2007
The Squirrel Chronicles reviews
Carl wants to be a squirrel, Frankenstein wants to be a Broadway star and Gabe & Anna want each other. Insanity that could have only been concocted by the twisted minds of Spazzy A. and the Almighty Mimbi.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,642 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/12/2007 - Published: 11/7/2006
A True Woman reviews
Jud looks back on what he once beleived love to be. 100 word drabble Set a few weeks after the box social. [Oklahoma!]
Misc. Plays/Musicals - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Come Around Me reviews
Summary: Why should death be feared? When Papa Ge visits her tree, Ti Moune decides that there is no reason, so long as death is kind.
Once on This Island - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,613 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Ti Moune, Papa Ge - Complete
Fleeting Encounter reviews
A conversation between Frankenstein and a young woman changes the course of gothic horror, literature, and pop culture for centuries to come.
Van Helsing - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,108 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/10/2005 - Complete
Coach and Chains reviews
We all saw what happened to Van Helping on his half of the journey to Rome, but what was going on in the other Coach? Anna and Carl must deal with their prisoner, and Frankenstein must cope with being a captive.
Van Helsing - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,938 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/24/2005
Any Body for Tea reviews
Grissom, Nick, Warrick, and Greg become the motive for murder when six old spinster ladies begin killing each other off for their attention. The four sexy CSIs must catch the murderer, or be doomed to sit though tea with the spinsters for the rest of the
CSI - Rated: K - English - Parody/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 994 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/12/2005
Better Late than Never reviews
Shrek was captured before he could break up Fiona and Farquaad's wedding. Can he and the princess still escape the diminutive king's clutches? AU (Obviously)
Shrek - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,074 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11/2/2004
Missing the sky reviews
Bella has begun to miss the sky. Van Helsing decides to surprise her, and is surprised in return when the little gargoyle asks him for a story. (Part of my Vatican Clan fics)
Van Helsing - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,096 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/14/2004
The Valley of the Shadow of Death reviews
Frankenstein's creation asks himself the question that has been plaguing him since his creation. Is he a monster?
Van Helsing - Rated: K - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/16/2004
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