Citygirl's FAQ: (Real live questions that come to my e-mail...)

1. Who are you?

Grown-up. Female. Urban.

2. Why are you so mean?

I'm not, you're taking yourself too seriously. Untwist your knickers. Seriously. You'll live longer and be a more interesting person for it.

3. Someone left a review saying I should see your stories. Were they implying my character is a Mary Sue?

Most likely.

4. Will you read my story and tell me if my character is a Mary Sue?

No.

5. Why not?

The following reasons: 1.) I have very little free time, 2.) I am not the Mary Sue police, and 3.) I agreed to this once, many years ago, spent a great deal of time reading an appalling story, and made some polite suggestions for improvement (privately, via e-mail, not in a public review), which were not well-received. In short, this led to a pissy, profanity-spewing 12-year-old having my e-mail address, which I found to be an unacceptable situation.

6. Writing fanfiction is hard, why don't you try it instead of being snotty?

I do. Thank you. Next.

7. For real? Where? Can I read it?

Well, I kept my "real" fanfic account separate from this nonsense to avoid wank, but since I haven't been anywhere near Harry Potter fandom for years, what the Hell? My more serious fic can be found under the screen name DeepDownSlytherin.

8. Are you Pottersues, from Livejournal?

Again and again, no. I enjoy Pottersues, but I am not Pottersues nor any of her previous incarnations.

9. Can I quote you?

Yes, if I am given credit. Stealing is uncool.

10. Are you ever going to update?

I'm going to be honest with you: No.

11. You bitch! You flamed my story!

No, I didn't flame your story. I don't flame. If I do review, which is rare, it's positive, because I thought your story was particularly funny or smart or unusual. If I leave a review, it will be signed by "Citygirl1116" or some variation thereof. Anonymous flaming is tacky and cheap. For an example of this, see below.

Featured "Flame of the Month"

From: "ur mom" (Unlikely, since my mother actually can spell "your" and doesn't type like a spastic monkey.)

Incidentally, the story she is referring to is a Mary Sue story that she thinks I left a review on. I didn't, but a friend of mine did with my knowledge, so I guess that does make me complicit in making people feel "lik crap."

The Flame: ur stupid shut up u wouldnt no a good story if it bit u in the butt real hard making u bleed so stfu that story is amazing my friends love it so u dont no crap maybe u should take ur own advice ur stories arnt all that good i mean where exactly do u grab my attention to make me want to read more? exactly u dont have one so shut up half these stories or the ones i love r relatable urs is stupid so b4 u go makin other feel lik crap make ur "stories" better.

This is cool, Lord Voldemort and the Internal Revenue Service has been translated into German! I don't speak a word of German, but if you do, check it out!

Also cool, now When Fanfic Characters Attack has been translated into Spanish by Daenerys_Pendgragon! I don't speak a word of Spanish either, but if you do, check it out as well!

And in further coolness, Lord Voldemort and the Internal Revenue Service has also been translated into Chinese by sweetcherry_girl! I also do not speak a word of Chinese, but if you do, check it out!

*It has come to my attention that someone out there on the interwebs is pretending to be me. That's fine, I don't have a copyright on the name "citygirl1116" or the title "Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices." BUT, I have never posted any of my stories on any other website, and plagiarism is profoundly uncool y'all. So if you see one elsewhere (except the translations mentioned above, of course), please let me know...I can always be PMed through this site.*