My Archive of our own pen name (Someonetookthisname was Ironically taken) Allthegoodnamesweretaken

Stories.

You just might get it Series Naruto(only Naruto fic still going) Class Flat out lemon fic.

An idea for a Naruto story that never got written that I had. Someone reborn into the Uchiha clan before the slaughter. Meets Itachi and the story then focuses on the preparations and moral dilemmas the main character faces deciding if s/he will try to stop the massacre, if they can stop even themselves from dyeing, and if they survive how they deal with it.

Small rant on how most writers handle romance subplots here.

Attention writers stop making conflict free romance arcs reliant entirely on prior investment in the pairing. There are three ways to write a romance into a story.

The first and most common is to go for a last second hook up and actually have something legitimately, not a nonentity that is completely ignored and posses no actual threat, stand in the way. EX. having a character be oblivious to the feelings of the other, a romantic rival that actually has a chance and is not an evil villain, one members family saying no and that part of the pairing actually listen until either a slow series of events leads to a change of heart by either the family or the romantic interest.

The second is to have them together without conflict but limited to the background and not something the people actually writing pairings want to use. EX. Goku and Chichi from Dragon Ball Z are married but it rarely appears during the meat of the story.

The third is to have the two together immediately but only happening after the honeymoon phase, the idealized phase that usually takes front and center in these stories, is over and the cracks in the relationship start popping up.

Perfect happy sickeningly sweethearts are boring to read about. So please for the love of bacon stop it and write something that those of use who aren't shippers can enjoy.

You know I've seen alot of arguments over who would win in a fight superman or batman. This is stupid. The correct answer is obviously Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel(I'm sorry Shazam), Green Lantern, or Martian Manhunter. Depending on who was closest obviously.

GUIDE TO AN EPIC NARUTO STORY (Heavy Sarcasm)

Step One: Naruto is being chased by an angry mob even though he's only three years old (barly old enough to wipe his own ass) and living alone for some reason.

Step Two: He trips and/or reaches a dead end (oh noooo's) and they procede to inflict grevous, crippling, and all around over exaggerated unsurvivable wounds.

Step Three: After ten minutes of stabbing and beating (Which miraculously avoided his vitals) someone comes in to inflict the the final blows at the crowds jeering.

Step Four: In a 'thrilling' and 'suspenseful' moment a giant war-hammer is swung down on Naruto, only to be stopped an inch from his head by token superhero #25.

Step Five: Token superhero #25 yells at crowd. "WHAT ARE DO DOING TO TO THIS POOR BOY?!," crowd replies. "KILLING THE DEMON!" or the like. Slaughter ensues.

Step Six: Sarutobi and an Anbu squad show up. (perfect timing) Hokage confronts token superhero #25. "WHO ARE YOU?!" hero responds. "I'm super awesome-man! (Relation to Naruto's parents optional) Now why are your villagers attacking this poor boy?"

Step Seven: The Hokage proceeds to break his own law and tells to complete strangers Narutos life story, much to their outrage.

Step Eight: Token superhero #25 says he's taking the boy away to train him. Sarutobi agrees immediately without arguement, but pleads for them to return for the Genins exams. #25 agrees. (The fact that he agreed to bring the kid back to a place that delivered a massive beating to a three year old didn't seem to bother him.)

Step Nine: Naruto wakes up after the ten minute conversation completely healed, energetic, and with enough brain damage to forgive the entire ordeal. (Apparently he's Jesus, filled with infinate forgiveness for the unforgivable)

Step Ten: They fill Naruto in on the details and he begs to be able to come back to be Hokage, (a three year old can comprehend that... how?) and the duo is off.

Step Eleven: Time skip. Naruto returns, covered in trench coats and pictures of foxes (throwing all stigmas to the wind).

Step Twelve: Meets Hokage and dishes out all his skills in painful detail (Throwing all ninja sense to the wind). Assigned to go to the academy, which happens to be having its exam that day.

Step Thirteen: Shows off dramatically for the test and remainder of story, pwning everyone but Orochimaru in the Forest of death.

Step Foreteen: Falls in love with Hinata?!

Props to Silent Master for his well thought out and reasoned rant (claps)