Hello! Whether you're a left-sock-stealing troll or the son of that troll (rat eating munge bucket) or a Gronckle baby or Mildew, (actually, scratch that, nobody likes him) you are welcome!

-waves to nonexistent crowds and smells nonexistent roses thrown-

Warning, I am not the actual Hiccup Haddock III, but you can find him in my fics :)

Though my name here is 'HiccupHaddockIII'... which is a boy's name... I am a girl.

I have three projects for How To Train Your Dragon:

Walking It Off- Hiccstrid Modern AU. Excessive fluffliness all around.

Frostbite On Your Spleen- Where I dump all my oneshots. Crack fics, Modern AUs, crazy AUs, Hiccstrid stuff. Open for requests!

Savage Seas- Title straight from 'For The Dancing and the Dreaming'. Two important differences from the movie:

- Astrid is the daughter of the chief of another tribe.

- HTTYD 1 didn't happen. (Toothless was never shot down)

- Hiccup and Astrid were arranged in a marriage at the age of 19 for reasons that will be clarified by the second chapter.

I am open to all constructive crititism and tips/suggestions! There is always room for improvement, and I hope that I do just that.

Other Stuff:

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE TOO FAR IN TO GET OUT

I knew I was in love with How To Train Your Dragon when I looked up fanfiction for it.

I knew I was addicted to How To Train Your Dragon when I ran out of HTTYD fanfiction.

But wasn't until I started writing fanfiction that I knew I was crazy for it.

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NORMAL PEOPLE VS HTTYD FANS

NORMAL PEOPLE: insult people by calling them idiots or dorks.

HTTYD FANS: will insult people by calling them a son of a half troll rat eating mange bucket.

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
HTTYD FANS: will tell Thor to make a storm.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
HTTYD FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.
HTTYD FANS: won't go to one because they will take away your awesomeness of being yourself!

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
HTTYD FANS: say shut up or my dragon will roast you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that HTTYD fans are crazy.
HTTYD FANS: know that normal people aren't themselves.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased, yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
HTTYD FANS: when being chased, call their dragons for help.

NORMAL PEOPLE: hear a shriek and ignore it.
HTTYD FANS: yell "NIGHT FURY, GET DOWN!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
HTTYD FANS: would try and find Berk.

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile.
HTTYD FANS: MUST have this on their profile! ;)

NORMAL PEOPLE: on a bad day will say "today is just not my day."
HTTYD FANS: will say "THE GODS HATE ME!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: see a mini Toothless figurine and say "eh, it's just a piece of plastic."
HTTYD FANS: see a mini Toothless figurine and scream "Oh my gods! That is the cutest thing EVER! I must have it NOW!!!!!!!!!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: when asked what they need while fighting a dragon will say a weapon.
HTTYD FANS: "a doctor? Plus five speed? A shield!"

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't know the stats for their different dragons.
HTTYD FANS: Nadder: speed 8, armor 16. Zippleback: attack 11, stealth x2. Monstrous Nightmare: firepower 15. Terrible Terror: attack 8, venom 12. Gronckle: draw strength 8.

NORMAL PEOPLE: What in God's name?
HTTYD FANS: What in Thor's name?

NORMAL PEOPLE: when asked how to defeat a dragon without killing it will not know.
HTTYD FANS: will instantly show them an eel, scratch them behind their head, give them some dragon-nip, or reflect the light off of something so they can chase it.

NORMAL PEOPLE: will buy maybe the plushies from the HTTYD merchandise or nothing at all
HTTYD FANS: will search every store for every collectible, clear a whole shelf in their room for them, and make a saddle and tail-piece for every Toothless plushy and figurine they have.

NORMAL PEOPLE: saw the HTTYD movie once in the cinema and maybe once at home.
HTTYD FANS: watch the movie again and again until they can recite every line off by heart. (Example: *switches to Scottish accent* Excuse me, barmaid. I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fishbone!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: whistle a popular song while they work.
HTTYD FANS: whistle the HTTYD theme while they work.

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't really care when the sequel is released.
HTTYD FANS: will count down the days to the premier and check YouTube every day for the next trailer (cursed teaser trailers!!) :)

NORMAL PEOPLE: will give whatever they can to people as gifts.
HTTYD FANS: will never under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give a Gronckle's egg to someone.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when telling someone to change their ways, will be nice about it.
HTTYD FANS: will say "You've got to stop all...this."

NORMAL PEOPLE: when in danger "We're not gonna make it!"
HTTYD FANS: "Chances of survival are dwindling into single digits now."

NORMAL PEOPLE: will "keep calm and carry on."
HTTYD FANS: will "keep calm and wait for How To Train Your Dragon 3."

NORMAL PEOPLE: if they want to get themselves killed, will jump off a cliff or stab themselves or something.
HTTYD FANS: if they want to get themselves killed, go with the Gronckle.

NORMAL PEOPLE: wisest quote -- "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning." -Albert Einstein
HTTYD FANS: "If you get blasted, you're dead." -Gobber the Belch

NORMAL PEOPLE: stuck in traffic say -- "Get going!"
HTTYD FANS: Sweet Baby Thor in a Thunderstorm! GO!

NORMAL PEOPLE: will ignore this.
HTTYD FANS: will post this on their profile and add their name to the list before the Red Death gets them. ;)

Copied from user Omegaman17

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Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Now here’s the kicker.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Copied from user Omegaman17