Hey!

It's me. But I guess you already knew that. For the sake of me I sadly am not going to use my real name anywhere. But I didn't say I wouldn't reveal details of my life. If any of you feel the need to have more friends I'm down just tell me. I'm lonely. That kinda goes together with my sometimes super visible anxiety.

It all started when I was a small little girl who went to kindergarten and had complications in my life. Over the years my anxiety has had ups and downs depending on my relationships with other people. When the people I care about hurt me in any way it gets worse and when all is good then my anxiety doesn't get out so much. During school hours I feel attacked over every little small thing. That causes me to put on a fake smile and hold myself together until I get to a place where no-one could possibly see me cry. My anxiety also makes me act differently in situations that cause stress. That is the place where writing comes in. It calmes me down enough that I don't think about stressful things in my life. It's my release and that is why I don't tell anyone I know that I write in my free time. When someone asks I just tell I read or work out or watch TV.

In my best days I could be described as a fun and confident girl who doesn't care what others think of me. Those are usually the days when I have very little stress in my life and I don't fidget with anything for hours. If I fidget I'm nervous and very jumpy. Once in class one of my friends touched my neck with a pen without me realising she would do that and I couldn't get a word out for about 20 minutes. The feeling was awful and I couldn't do anything to make my heart pump slower and not so hardly.

When I say friend I mean more of an acquaintance that I talk to a lot. I don't have real friends because I don't feel the need to have them. I don't share a lot of personal things except facts that don't make sense. I can talk about my feelings and anxiety as a writing. I never say them out loud. And I express them only if I can stay unknown so this situation right here is the perfect place for that.

I am writing the story High School Celebrity. Some of the events in the story are based on my real life experiences. Except the cheating because my boyfriend is aware of the fact that I hate it and he would probably end up dead in an alley if he even thought of doing something like that. He gives me the most beautiful gifts and never underestimates me. He respects me in a way no-one has done before. He knows I am a woman and he knows that we have the same rights as men. He is super cool and mine so back off. Kidding, but he is still mine. I saw a post the other day that said that the sentence "I licked it so it's mine" should work with both food and significant others. Me and my boyfriend are the definition of that. He always licks my nose for some reason and I never get to do the same to him because he is like a lot taller than me. He was the one I sent the post to and he replied with "That's so us, don't you think"

That is everything sad and happy in my life put together in a small text. Lastly, leave a comment on my story. They truly make my day.

Love you