*NOW COMPLETE* Severus overhears a VERY fascinating conversation between two of his students, which starts the ball rolling on an afternoon of carnal delight and the start of a long-term relationship that he had only ever dreamed of coming to pass. Not for fanatic Harry or Ron fans. A story inspired by 'Size Matters' by Laurielove. Severus/Hermione with a bit of Ginny.

After several failed attempts to find a Mr. Right Now at this point, Hermione decides to try a very popular product that the Weasley twins are selling. What she doesn't know is that her particular request has some very unexpected side effects.

Severus Snape never meant to live, and he certainly never meant to be saddled with a bride half his age, but when the past rears its inconvenient head, both he and Hermione Granger must deal with the consequences. A foul mouthed, pureblood!Hermione, marriage-law-wannabe, EWE, romance.

Severus Snape wasn't aware of how dirty Miss Granger could really get, it took him about three years to find out that she wasn't the prude he always assumed, and it only took him one day to find out that Miss Granger loved to talk about pretty genitals and other inappropriate things. Totally random and totally out of character, just for fun! Adult readers only! (SS/HG).

Severus Snape is hit by a nasty curse by Bellatrix which has a very specific counter. Can Hermione help him while they try to end the war? Post-Hogwarts, AU, alternative story from 7th year onwards including a few details from the Trio's 6th year. Unexpected complications and unexpected allies appear along the way. Complete - epilogue up!

Ron was distraught. They agreed to the stupid vow. How could it possibly matter anyway. It made Ron happy and kept him calm. It was a silly vow anyway