Kim Jong-un, thank you for inspiring me.

Hey! Listen!

Want to write a None-Shot? Think you can change the reader's opinion of a character towards the end? Send your kids to Hell and put college over their heads!

Read the rules before entering.

Fake User Warning:

I can be your angle...or yuor devil

I'm actually going to break character here for a bit because even though my review and user profile aren't subtle at all, half of the users here are retarded, barely literate, and think I'm a real CU member or the actual Metal Navy. To be honest, I might not even bother to make a new account if this one gets shitcanned because if there is one thing CU and I can agree on, and it's that some people deserve to have their stories deleted because they're fucking stupid and their stories suck. Not because it violates some horseshit rules nobody cares about (except for CU members who need to feel validated and in authority), but because they are objectively bad and subjectively taste like orange juice on toothpaste.

Now we can get back to this nice Mad Libs profile parody.

Okay, with that out of the way, hello. I'm God, and I've been here now and have yet to make a good story (I have crippling insecurity). I do indeed have two other accounts here, and I no longer use them. They are SHIIIIIIZA and cs188.

I have an account over at FictionPress.com, Monsieur Navy

Resume:

I'm a member of Critics United, which is a group of people mainly trying to help the site admin with all the violations, but is also meant for a place for discussion of writing.

I'm the Forum Administrator of Writer's Club, which is a bit modeled after Critics United. This is basically a discussion forum for writing, or anything really.

I'm a moderator for Fandom Nation. This is basically a general forum that allows fans of any fandom to come and talk about their favorite fandoms.

And I got an account over at Archive of Our Own, though I much prefer the layout over here.

Please hire me, I must escape from mother's basement.

End of Resume

Please read all the rules for each forum before posting.

Fandoms I've seen/read (I'll note if there's any fandom I'm not 100% familiar with):

List will grow when I become more familiar with other Samurai.

I'm a firm );

Community Etiquette:

FanFiction does not filter content and is an open system that trusts the writer's judgement. However, there is an inherent responsibility that falls to writers as a result.

Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed:

1. Spell check all story and poetry. There is no excuse for not performing this duty. If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one.
2. Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. 'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability.
3. Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing.
4. Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street.
5. Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself.

FanFiction Content Guidelines:

Version: 11-20-2008

The chapter system is not to be used as placeholder for non-story content such as author notes. You can add short author notes to the beginning or at the end of stories but never as individual chapters.

FanFiction is not an archive for non-fanfiction literary works. Please visit FictionPress to publish your non-fanfiction literary works.

Do not upload chapters, series, or segments of a story as separate entries. In order to submit a 5 chapter story, for example, use the 'Create Story' page to submit chapter 1, and then use the 'Edit/Upload chapter' feature in the left menu, after login, to submit chapters 2 through 5.

Entries not allowed:

1. Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc.
2. One or two liners.
3. MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story.
4. Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc.
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.
6. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries.

Actions not allowed:

1. Multiple entries of the same material. There can only be one copy of any unique story on the entire site. No exceptions.
2. Rewriting names of characters/locations of one story in order to upload to multiple categories.
3. Copying from a previously published work (including musical lyrics) not in the public domain.

General rules:

1. Entry title and summary must be rated K for all audience. No exceptions.
2. Entry must be given the proper rating. No exceptions.
3. Entry must be placed in proper category. No exceptions.
4. Chapters of the same story are not allowed to be submitted as separate entries. All chapters/segments must be grouped together using the 'edit/upload chapter' feature in the left menu.

Content Ratings:

FanFiction adopts the rating system from .

Please note FanFiction does not accept explicit content, Fiction Rating: MA, and the rating is only presented for reference.

FanFiction respects the expressed wishes of the following authors/publishers and will not archive entries based on their work:

Failure to comply with site rules will result in the removal of stories and/or suspension of account.

Whenever I obsessively stalk a story in that makes me feel uncomfortable, I check back to see if that knock off Metal Navy is still bothering it. It gives me a sense of validation, and I also enjoy telling white people in real life to feel horrible about themselves.

If you are an author in violation and your fans are telling you to ignore and keep on violating, remember this!

1. What do they have to lose? Nothing.

2. What do you have to lose? Your dignity.

So, who's advice do you want to hear?

Just a quick note: if you're messaging me, and you have me blocked, you are a coward.

Coming Soon:

Me, I'm so close, just a little harder and faster

AN ENTIRE SECTION OF STRAWMAN ARGUMENTS I'VE PREPARED BECAUSE I'VE ACKNOWLEDGED EVERYONE HATES ME AND MY WORK HAS HONESTLY AMOUNTED TO NOTHING. ALSO I'VE DELIBERATELY MADE THESE IMAGINARY HATERS SOUND LIKE COMPLETE MORONIC VALLEY GIRLS BUT I'M OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY SO IT WAS THE BEST I CAN DO.

No seriously, this newly added section is the cringiest part of the real Metal Navy's already very long and cringy profile. They call him Metal Navy because his ego is the size of a warship. Holy shit, read it and get a load of this guy. This is Dio Brando level over the top speech, except he has no reason to be this condescending.

OK, so he goes "Even if they decide to message me and tell me what a terrible bully I am, most of them cannot type, and thus, will be thoroughly reprimanded and run away with their tails between their legs. Even with your collaborative efforts, you won't be able to do much, unfortunately. Call me a hall monitor or whatever you like, but at least I don't lead a gaggle whose intelligence added up is equal to a brain-dead caterpillar."

This guy thinks he's in a fucking anime. His life is so devoid of substance that like most Critics United members, in order to get off, he has to go bother people who actually create in order to feel important. This is pathetic.

And I thought stereotypical Rick and Morty fans were bad. This new section is the definition of "pretentious". This is the guy who calls salt "sodium-chloride" in public and throws out "buddy" or "pal" or "love" in an argument.