OMG!

I really enjoyed it! Is there a next book?

why would u end like that goddammit

Oh my... And that happened... I really love this story I'm too emotionally attached for my own good

Noooo I hate them fighting:*(

Please stop making this happen your killing me:(

Just make tris and tobias happy together pleaseeeee:))

No kiss!

Your writing3

Gooood! I love your writing;)

I NEED FOUR AND TRIS NOT JARED

I dunno why but I compare the Jared
character to look like Jace in TMI

What a beautiful way to end the story. *sarcasm*

Why I ended up reading your story? I'm a sucker for dystopias and utopias, and your writing grabbed my attention as early as the summary (yes summaries matter!). Also, the fact that there are no spelling errors and that the text is well polished.

Then, as I was reading, I thought you had perfectly captured the essence of the characters you're writing about. They're not exactly the same as in the book or the movie, but you've made them your own. And that's no small achievement: just compare to countless stories here which aren't badly written but inflict on us every painful detail about Tris and Four, from the china they'd pick to how many slices of toast they have for breakfast... boooring...and not credible for one second...so thanks for "sparing us" :)
Anyhow, when I reached your AN explaining you're 14, I was floored! And doubly so when you announce that this is the first ff you wrote!
My fav parts: the way you capture the banter and actions of the faction are incredibly good! Your sense of humor shows. Also like how you captured Four's dark side a LOT, and the conflicts between the characters If they were getting along just fine all the time, nobody would be interested...
Least fav part: the "who likes whom" discussions towards the end (not your fault, I'm just too old).

If there was a "Prose" faction, you'd fit right in. I hope you pursue creative writing in RL, cause you're really talented, and as you mature, so will your writing and the range of topics you're comfortable broaching.

A few thoughts for now: it'd be fun if you could write about other factions or about the "misunderstandings" between members of different factions (ex: Candor putting their foot in their mouth all the time). I'm sure you could make it work and be very funny, and also it's a great way to expand your "range" as a writer.

Believe in yourself! Joseph Conrad wrote his masterpiece when he was barely 20, and English wasn't even his native language. There are very few talents that can blossom at a young age. But writing is one of them, and you have it!

Also, don't censor yourself: if your characters want/need to curse, have sex, do drugs or anything else, then write about it. That's the greatness of fiction! Also, don't EVER feel guilty about what you read, regardless of the topic, or how good or bad the writing might be, bc that's how your writing'll improve.
I often cringe when YA fiction authors "self-censor" by not addressing sex or not cursing, yet have no problems having characters stab/shoot/maim one another. I was fortunate to have parents who never censored me because they knew I obviously was aware of the difference between fiction and reality.

Cheers,
PS: Your description of drunk characters makes me doubt your absence of knowledge about it, but if it' true, all the more power to you :) After all, good writing fortunately doesn't require the author to have experienced what he/she's writing about or Scifi wouldn't exist!

Your AN at the end reminded me how it sucked to be 14 sometimes :)

My advise (about this boy or any other): keep in mind that he's probably as insecure as you are about it, even if - of course - he doesn't show it. And, above all, be his friend! I know how lame it sounds, but trust me, guys are attracted to the "pretty spoiled bitch" bc teenage boys are attracted to anything that moves (it's hormonal). But it doesn't mean he doesn't like you. and the only way to have any meaningful relationship in life is to ground it in a solid trusting friendship. Also, trust your instincts: if you think a guy likes you, chances are he does! So if you're friends AND attracted to one another, trust me, you'll find out!
Good luck, and be safe!

That's it for my "Dear Abby" column :)