I've got to admit, when reading this chapter I was pulling my hair out. It felt so repetitive, with the same thing being said over, and over, and over again. I was truly losing my mind through it, with only the saving graces of Weiss' perspectives. I was honestly just begging for a break up because it was just 'I'll keep doing the same thing! Maybe something different will happen!' I almost stopped reading.

But goddamn when I reached towards the end I finally felt what all that meant. Blake had absolutely no fucking clue what to say to Yang and thus the same thing kept getting repeated from her. And the reason for Yang's state was because, as Blake had said, if couples get to close for a long time they start to over boil and kind of lose interest, sort of. And that was what was happening to Yang, but she didn't want Blake to know this so she just kept making pathetic excuses and keep herself guarded which kept Blake seem like a broken record and repeat the same thing in a fucking loop.

And Weiss was seeing this, making the same promises to each other but no goals or progress at all. All in all, this was actually a good chapter. The beginning I will say is super repetitive but once you reach the end it all becomes clear. It still sucked though, the repetitiveness, but it all made sense in the end. Just, seriously, turn down that repetitiveness, just move things forward sooner, I couldn't take it, I was losing my mind in that.

Anyways good job

-Gabe

OK, I feel a need to say this because this has been greatly bothering me. First off, I have been enjoying this fiction since the beginning. It's great, fantastic, and I just love the long chapters. But I really want to get on the stuff that I just did not like in these last few chapters. First off, the characters for the parents. When you first introduced them on the phone, they sounded like people, with emotions and feelings and that they were really worried and so happy to hear from Blake. Then when we finally meet them they're just drones with a few different modes. Then when we finally meet them it turns out they aren't upset only a little disappointed that she left them for over a decade. I can't even begin to say how happy I was in chapter 11 when they really weren't there. I enjoyed that more than the kiss scene and birthday scenes. But the mother gets to me the most of all. First off, she seems like this wise mother who thinks she knows whats best. First she's understanding why Blake had left, believing that Blake thought she was doing the "right thing" then the restaurant scene comes and suddenly she's an interrogator who gives no shits as to what other people are feeling. She just says stuff to get the results that she wants no matter who gets hurt. It was so clearly and painfully obvious that Blake was hurting and really didn't want to talk about what had happened, she warned her mother, and she pushed on the fact that Blake felt guilty for leaving and felt that they had the right to know. There's just no longer a regard for that and then it's, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." blah blah. And then she goes and does it again to Yang! Even after saying that she didn't need to talk about the painful parts that she didn't want to, the mother still pried and pushed her even after giving her word. She seemed like a person who could be respectable at first but then something like this happens and suddenly she feels bad for bringing up the bad memories that she didn't give a shit about when she was interrogating them. And during all this, the mom and dad are just sipping their coffee with a neutral expression and clearly not giving a shit. And what's worse, suddenly it's back to normal. Yang suddenly doesn't care about that and feels that she's to blame for her outburst but it was so clear that it was the mother's, and then no one cares about that any more. The only thing that's changed is the mother's not talking anymore. Feels like a slap in the face. But oh, wait, don't worry, there's more! She goes to Blake saying how she's sorry for doing all that. Then she sweet talks Blake, it feels like we're finally gonna get some more to her, then she just brings up the family legacy saying how it can't continue. This is were I was convinced she does not care about Blake at all. Just the stupid family name. I feel she only wants to keep in touch just to later try to convince her to date a guy or learn when she finally comes to her senses and chooses to do that on her own. Then she's suddenly, "I don't mind it anymore", yeah, no she's trying to just make it so that way Blake will just feel comfortable talking to her later. And moving backwards to where Blake joining the White Fan, there's practically no motivation here. She just wanted to join in on some protesting but it turned out be more than she bargained for? It seemed like a twisted version of an emo chick who's into this really hot band and is all like, "Uh, nobody gets meh, I'm so leaving..." That's what it feels like. But we learn that her mother and grandparents were discriminated. Her grandfather was basically disowned when her mother was born, her mother was rejected by almost everybody except the husband. But that doesn't affect Blake directly since that all happened before she was even born. And I don't understand how Blake somehow managed to break a trained guard's leg and break another one's nose. Did she secretly take karate? And you just used the fact that she was young to make it sound like she didn't know any better when organization whom she believed to be only protesting hands her a gun. "Oh don't worry, guns are used in peaceful protests all the time. And swords too. We'll teach you how to make those." And the father was just a male version of Yang and that's all I'm gonna say towards that. These chapters needed some roles to fill and that's what these characters succeeded in doing, filling those roles. But they were un-enjoyable characters to me. This honestly could have been better, you really are a great writer but you fumbled with this part. These characters truly felt so devoid of life itself. Well, I finally got that out of the way, I'm gonna go back to reading Valence. I'm honestly looking forward to reading your other fan fics as I have have been enjoying this one thus far. Peace

This is without a doubt the best thing I've ever read. There were several years of my life in which I didn't read anything. Valence was one of the stories that got me back in to literature. The way you wrote these characters that I fell in love with in RWBY was superb. It wasn't flawless, mind you, but it made me feel attached. I want to thank you for spending so much of your free time creating a story for me to love, and I'm sad to see it go. I hope to read more of your work in the future. Thank you.

A really long read. Liked it. Felt slightly repetive and a bit much, but that's just me.

So while I have been on this site for years, I haven't bother to log on to actually write a review in quite some time...but I feel like I should after reading this. Why? Because this is probably the single greatest fan fiction that I have read...and I've been on this site for the better part of a decade.

Truthfully, I'm not even sure where to start when talking about it. I feel like you nailed the characters personalities and though even you admit that your writing style can be divisive, I greatly enjoyed it. Yeah, it could be a little drawn out at times but the level of detail and clarity throughout the story more then made up for the few scenes that dragged on. I could perfectly picture in my head what was going on and the characters spoke clearly to me. That is the number 1 sign of success in my opinion when it comes to fan fiction.

What is more impressive is that you managed to make these characters seem like their show counterparts even though you added your own spin to them. Take Yang's emotional issues for example. We haven't really gotten much of that in the show but you took certain hints from the show that implied a deeper personality to Yang and turned those hints into something very real and believable. Seriously, after reading this story, I believe that this is who Yang is and it's only a matter of time before the actual show gets around to it. Even the whole blue eyes thing. We haven't seen in it the show but it fit so well with the character that, in my head, it's canon to be until proven otherwise.

The same goes for the other characters to, albeit to a lesser extent. I know this fic was started before Volume 2 aired so I found it very impressive that you characterized Blake as seeing herself as a coward long before the show version of Blake stated it outright in the back half of Volume 2 when talking around the campfire with Yang and Weiss. If that doesn't show how in tune you are with the characters, I don't know what does. Even if you did change her semblance from what it was in the show...that change fit fine. Though I have to ask, was this change intentional? I can see that maybe the first season of the show didn't really make it clear what her semblence was so what you wrote in the story was just a accidental misinterpretation of what Blake was doing in Volume 1.

The ending of the story was rewarding to. I loved chapter 19 and the epilogue of chapter 20 just made it all the more rewarding.

There were a couple things I wish would have happened. I wish we would have found out what the gift Ruby gave Yang was, especially since Yang kept bringing it up to Blake (though I have a good idea of what it is). A part of me also wishes that Yang had accepted Blake's book at the end but I also understand why she didn't.

If I had one complaint about the story it was this: much of the drama was contained in chapters 15-19. Sure, there was some angst-y drama before then but for the most part, the first 14 chapters were light hearted and fluffy in regards to Blake and Yang's relationship. Then chapter 15 hit and the relationship was sent into turmoil. Of course, without those previous 14 chapters to build the relationship, this angst would be worth little to the audience emotionally so I get why 80% of the fics drama was held back into the last 5 chapters. However, even though this was probably the correct thing to do, it also had the negative result of having similar conversation over and over again within a relatively short time span. Seriously, Blake and Yang apologized to each other so much in those 5 chapters and there were so many conversations on how they messed up that it all started blurring together to me. Part of me felt like I was having deja vu. Like...I'm pretty sure there was a part in chapter 16 that they literally apologized for the same thing 5 different times and those apologies spawned the same conversation, just worded a different way.

On one hand, that's actually kinda realistic. In real life, people feeling as guilty as they were probably would apologize over and over again like that...but from a readers perspective, it can get a little repetitive.

So was the story perfect? No, but then again, nothing is. But the above is literally the only criticism that I can give. The rest of the story was absolutely fantastic and this is a fic that I will definitely be re-reading over and over again in the future. I mean, as someone who doesn't buy that many books, I'd be willing to pay money for a hard copy of this. I truly think it's that good. So fantastic work, because I'll be honest, I think you fleshed out these characters within this one fic better than the actual show has done in three volumes. I think that's the best compliment I can give to a person writing fan-fiction because I know how difficult it can be to nail someone else's characters. But you did it!

So yeah, I loved it. It's the best fic I've read and really, I enjoyed it more than a lot of the 'professional' novels that I've read over the years.

Also, just FYI, I have some questions about the sequel so expect a PM from me within a day or so. Hopefully that won't take up your time or anything.

Thank you for the fantastic story!

I have a few notes. I'll preface these by admitting that I know many people are eager to cry 'thesaurus abuse' when they encounter an unfamiliar word. I am not among them. I enjoy reading, I enjoy playing with words, and I enjoy finding an excuse to use an unusual one. I think I understand your inclination to do the same, and that's why I'm leaving this review (instead of silently dropping the fic) in the hope that you'll find it useful. These aren't requests for corrections, but rather illustrations of flaws that are fairly persistent throughout the fic (as far as I've read, up to chapter 8).

ch7
"However, this was not considered too large a problem by the Faunus who had encountered congruent visions before."

The word you've chosen (congruent) is the right word's second cousin, or perhaps even further removed than that. I can believe that a dictionary might list 'similar' or 'identical' as synonyms for congruent, owing to its geometric usage, but you've used some part of the denotative meaning while ignoring other parts of the denotative meaning, and the connotations surrounding it. Congruent implies agreement, harmony, or a lack of conflict, and you've just completely ignored that, tossing it by the wayside in your eagerness to use the word.

"The reason why it is stated that Blake almost fell asleep is because a certain white-haired girl, in her uncharacteristic, placated daze, asked a question that caused Yang to quickly sit up in her seat and Ruby to become momentarily paralyzed."

First: you're referring back to a statement made the paragraph before last. Second: you're doing so incautiously; the referent phrase in the preceding paragraph has Yang as the object, being almost put to sleep by a 'low, content note'. So when you say 'it is stated that Blake almost fell asleep' it's straight up wrong. You never stated that. I'm not a stranger to the narrator having their own perspective, or lying, but if you're going to do that you have a duty to at least make it interesting. Third: this whole sentence is an extremely good example of the importance of syntax. It doesn't flow, it starts and stops in fits and jerks. Fourth: it doesn't end up actually resolving the previous set-up. I think it needs some emphasis on the /almost/, whether through formatting (such as italics), sentence structure, or something else to indicate that Weiss's action is not what caused her to almost fall asleep, but that it's what pulled her back from the brink of slumber. I can infer that's what happened from the overall context, but it's conveyed poorly.

All of these add up to a sentence that is intolerably ungainly in a purely aesthetic sense, and barely functional in terms of storytelling. Its jagged edges rub against every surrounding phrase. This is the thing that bothers me most about your writing: the pieces do not fit together well.

"While Blake could understand why such a question would otherwise be perceived as ill-mannered, Weiss' genuine curiosity came across expressly."

Another appearance of the right word's second cousin. This time it's closer to correct, and the word order and choice would be more ordinary if you replaced the adverb 'expressly' with 'clearly'. Both are the same part of speech, and they're near-synonyms, but if you're familiar with 'expressly' from actual use you should recognize that what you've done here is not correct.

"While Blake might have argued against it, Yang continued speaking with a cadence no longer indicative of distress."

You also have a tendency to tell me things in the blandest way. I'll give you the most sarcastic 'good job!' possible for your work in avoiding descriptions. Rather than describing Yang's actual voice, or Blake's experience of trying to work out Yang's emotions, you've just told us a thing that her voice doesn't indicate. Wow.

ch8
"The speed at which Weiss was able to change clothes was nothing short of a phenomenon for anyone, let alone for one who is as conscious of her external appearance as she is. However, the problem with phenomena is that they are seldom replicated successfully outside of their original instances."

No. You're almost leaning toward what I think could be some fun use of the etymological relationship between phenomenon and phenomenal (the modern use of the latter was decried by prescriptivists in the 19th century), but you don't quite get there, because you're actually just using it wrong. If you're going to draw attention to your use of a particular word like this, you should make sure that you're correct. The description of Weiss's clothes-changing-speed as "nothing short of a phenomenon" is not good, and the second sentence about the replicability of phenomena is flat out wrong. This is not "the problem with phenomena". It is not a trait of phenomena whatsoever. Phenomenon used in this way does indeed imply that the event, process, fact, or situation being observed might be wondrous, remarkable, or rare, but its essential nature is related to that observation, not to... whatever you were thinking here.

While it doesn't have a quote, I'd also like to point out that your pacing is quite glacial. That's not necessarily bad; I'm willing to read an uneconomical story for sheer pleasure if the language is a joy to read, but this story contains many passages where little of note happens /and/ the language is unpleasant. A greater economy of words would absolutely be to your writing's benefit.

I'd like to reiterate the most important thing I said in the middle of the review, because I think more focus on this would result in the greatest possible improvement to your writing. /The pieces do not fit together well./

Since this might seem very negative, I'd like to sign off by thanking you for your hard work in writing and completing this story, even if it's not to my taste. My hope is that this review might in some way assist your future efforts.

About 3/4 of the way through it hit me that this was still the first fucking day of summer break.

*starts applauding*

This is art - sometimes lengthy, sometimes excessively descriptive, but it's art, dammit. If Tolkein had deigned to write a romance novel, this would be fairly similar to what we would have gotten from him. In some ways, from some perspectives, that's a bad thing. But dammit, works of art are beautiful things, and so is this.

omg plz write moar this is so nice is it the ending oh no you cant finish it here ill be waiting for the rest so much suspense its killing me plz the ending is too soon

Words are not enough to express how much I have enjoyed this epic. Beautifully written with both pace and an engaging plot - I was hooked after the first chapter.

This is now amongst my favorite stories on this site, I'm surprised it handy received as much recognition as it truly warrants more reviews/favourites than it has.

I look forward to reading the sequel.

This story's somewhat old, and I haven't read the reviews yet, so perhaps what I'm about to say has already been said. This is my first experience with one of your works, and I don't really know how to describe it other than frustrating to read. Now, I wouldn't say that's immediately a bad thing, and there were some high points that made most of the story worth powering through, but this Blake was just a very frustrating character to read through. The endless self-deprecation and angst present in her thoughts made some parts feel dull and repetitive, especially when the source of said angst was purely speculative and seemed to stem from innocuous sources. Even though she changed, she also felt stagnant, and it felt like every step forward she took, she'd also take a step back. However, I can only imagine that was intentional and it didn't really detract from the story as much as it slowed down my enthusiasm for reading.
I think the thing that I really found fault with was Yang's climactic breakdown, resulting in her fleeing to the park. I understand the necessity for such an action- from a strictly Doylist perspective, there was a Chekhov's gun in Weiss's birthday present to Yang and a climax to the story had to be reached, yet the reasons behind Yang's breakdown and her leaving contradicted one another on the most fundamental level, and leaving for the reasons she did was a very un-Yang thing to do. Yang in this story had been established as someone who was both incredibly selfless at most times and willing to go to great lengths to help Ruby and Blake, even at her own expense. Yet what she did was beyond irrational- it was counterintuitive to all her goals and desires. Moreover, the reasons behind it seemed weak. From what I could gather, Yang's self-deprecation was triggered by Weiss's scolding of her in face of her fleeing from Blake after she was cut- something that, once again, runs counter to Yang's established character. Even then, there was no direct correlation to Weiss's scolding and Yang's stated self-loathing. None of what Yang said lined up or made sense in the context of the most recent incident, nor did it feel fitting to be brought to light when it had- it seemed, more than anything, that Yang's angst arose from a need for Yang's angst to rise and boil over- purely plot-driven and not circumstantial like most of the other character's reactions. Perhaps if Yang's reasoning had a more concrete grounding in the most recent incident, or if things had not been seemingly placated the night before, it wouldn't have felt so out-of-place.
That being said, to say that the story was not enjoyable would be incorrect. I wouldn't have read it to it's completion if that were the case. This story, the emotions in it, while rather stagnant and quick to grow stale from repetitive usage, were very much present. If only for the quick bursts of anger, laughter, and drama amidst the internal angst and self-loathing thoughts of a thoroughly troubled Faunus, this story was worth the read.

Of all the fics I've read on this site over the last few months this has to be my favourite by far! Amazing writing just drew me in from start to finish. Thank you so much for shareing your story. Just brilliant.

I cant believe what a ride this has been. And I can not thank you enough. It was a joy to read.

Aw, this was some thick water to tread through. And it hurt to watch them grow further apart as the scene continued to escalate. But is is to be expected. Arguments and misunderstandings are common place and likely to happen even in the most healthy of relationships. Its just nice to see that despite the argument, they make amends to move forward. I know full well that the argument is far from over yet, as the repercussions are still ever present, and will continue to be until they fall back into their usual and comfortable state. Regardless, I look forward to reading this to the end.

The events leading up to everything in this chapter came together rather nicely. The talk at breakfast that took place for a good amount of this chapter was full of many spiraling emotions, mostly of tension and apprehension of what was going to be said. I was not disappointed. Enlightened with information, however somber, of Blake and Yang's past. Blake's parents came to grow me as well. It was a bittersweet ride, this chapter, but all in good stance with everything else. As far the most emotional of chapters so far, this one is perhaps my favorite. I was on the edge of my seat watching all the cards come on the table.

I believed I laughed too hard at the dinner scene. But then again, it was surprisingly comical, despite the tension between everyone. I look forward to reading this to the last chapter, as I find myself enjoying the read all the more.