Hello there! I think I've heard of you.

Kudos to a fellow Armand-lover. I hope there will be more.

I love it! This is very, very brilliant, and I like how Armand stands up despite all that pressure. *pats poor Armand* Not too many people like him, but I do. And I like the way you portray him and Chauvelin. And excellent choices of words.

This was REALLY REALLY REALLY good! I LOVED it! Keep up the good work, and PLEASE update!

This was REALLY REALLY REALLY good! I LOVED it! Keep up the good work, and PLEASE update!

That was GREAT! I loved it! Please post another chapter!
Lizzie

Oh, wow, this is a great piece. I loved it. Scarlet Pimpernel is my favorite musical, but I never read the books. However, I think that this was a great, great piece. Keep up the good work!

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

I loved it! It’s the best interrogation scene I can remember reading for a long time. (Maybe even the best one I’ve read so far). Here, I think, is WHY I liked it:

VOCABULARY: I like your choice of words. It’s refreshing to read a fic that doesn’t use the words "really" or "very" in every sentence. There are many times in this fic when you could use common words and phrases to communicate an action, but you don’t. "Nullified", "abandoned his solitary stance", "sickening impact", etc.-very nice.

SENTENCE STRUCTURE: You have so many different types of sentences in this fic! Long, short, plain, inverted...it's a treat to read! I especially like the way you sometimes connect phrases/clauses just with commas. (For example, "He could see Armand’s desperation, could see him breaking down visibly now before him" ). It’s very dramatic; I like the feel it gives the story.

DETAIL: I think this is the main reason I liked your story. You go into so much depth when you describe what is happening! You put in little motions and details that many authors don’t bother with—you emphasize things such as Chauvelin standing silently against the wall, Armand collapsing to the floor after the dagger is removed, the way Chauvelin approaches Armand, the way the characters look at one another, the way in which Armand shakes his head... Things like that those bring the characters to life. The impression that you create with your choice of words is excellent. You always seem to choose just the right comments, facial expressions, and movements for your characters.

CHAUVELIN: I especially liked how you portrayed Chauvelin. You did an excellent job showing how his manner towards Armand changes. How he’s at first threatening, but then cunning, playing with Armand’s mind. Chauvelin’s motions, words, and tone all work flawlessly to create this impression. (Like how, in the first half, Chauvelin doesn’t use Armand’s name when he talks to him (or at least only once). But, in the second part, he addresses him personally quite often.)

PACE: I think you did a great job with pacing. You put in a lot of description in some places, slowing the movement down, but when things get intense (like he last lines) you drop the speech tags. Your level of descriptiveness is almost always perfectly proportionate with the level of intensity in the scene.

"I AM!": The last few lines (from "Tell me, Armand." to "I am!") were excellent. I actually thought that Armand might betray Percy-you did a great job showing how close he was to breaking.

OK. Now…no story is ever absolutely perfect (though this one came close). There are always some things might be improved upon, even in the best stories.

Let me repeat: I loved your story! It’s one of the best fics I’ve read! It’s an inspiration! I liked it so much I printed it off!

HOWEVER, I want to be totally honest in this review—and there WERE a few minor things that struck me, as a reader, as a little "off". PLEASE don’t be offended by this. I just want to give this story a balanced review. (And I could be wrong about a lot of this stuff.)

Some stuff I thought didn’t quite work:

1. "thrash"-you thrash with a whip (or similar implement). You didn’t mention anywhere else in the fic that the guards had anything like that.

2. "an obviously painful thing to do" -this phrase breaks the flow and pace of the paragraph. By putting this phrase in. you change from describing what’s happening to commenting on what has happened. (More technically, you change from something like an "unintrusive omniscient third person" viewpoint to an "intrusive omniscient" viewpoint). Dickens and Hawthorne do this quite often, but it doesn’t quite work here. It distracts the reader (or at least it distracted me). The reader should be able to figure out that it’s painful-you don’t need to tell them outright. If you still want to emphasize it, make it less direct (i.e., show how Armand struggles to raise himself as Chauvelin lifts the dagger).

3. "silver sheen'-this just sounded very close to a cliché phrase (a VERY minor point)

4. "weeping"-Usually, one associates weeping with wailing women. It just doesn’t quite feel right connected with Armand. "Whimpering" is a rather distracting word, too. (Or maybe it’s just that I don’t ike "sobbing" “pathetic” protagonists. I’ve only read the book, and its portrayal of Armand may be slightly different than that of the musical).

5. "growled"—is doesn’t quite seem to fit Chauvelin in this scene.

6. The paragraph beginning with "Armand nearly collapsed..." interrupted the flow of the story a little. It slowed the pace down abruptly, just when it was beginning to gain momentum. However, I really don’t know how to make it flow better. WARNING: Whatever you do, don’t change the last half of the paragraph (the part beginning with "The torment would never stop, he knew..."). It was excellent—the way you portrayed Armand’s thoughts and emotions was gripping.

These were about the only things I thought might possibly be improved—and those things are pretty minor. I don’t think anyone would really notice them unless they read this fic ten times like I did.

FINAL WORDS

I loved it! I just wish it had another chapter! I had at least 4 "post more!" phrases scattered throughout this review-but then I realized that this story was probably one of your infamous cliffhangers. NOOOO! Oh well.

Very nice! Hope to see another chapter!

Ok, I'm hooked. I've been a fan of the Pimpernel since '99. Very interested to see what happens next. Good writing!

- Squeal! - Yay! I love your story, please get the second chapter out soon! Finally, some new pimpernel fics out! I love your work, it's pure genius. Please don't keep us in suspense!

- Margot

Whoa! That was amazing. Me likes :)

*write more* Excellent so far! *write more* Poor Armand. :-( *write more* Keep up the good work! *write more* There's a secret message hidden somewhere in this review, can you see it? *wink*