So glad I finally finished! Love it, love our otp, wow v good

I like the 500 words style (but seriously, it doesn't matter if you're using 26 words more. That short, sweet, condensed storytelling style just fits here.), I like the characters, I like your pacing, I like the similar but slightly changed dialogue from the games.

Nicely written. One of the few stories I can't even criticize constructively..
Keep it up!

Oh! Wow, how in the world did I miss that there was a new chapter of this!?

I'm not sure what your prompt was, but I think you did a really awesome job of demonstrating Mara's state of mind as Kaiden assaulted her with his distrust. His lack of trust for her during 2 and the beginning of 3 is the major reason why I just can't quite fathom why there are so many Shenko fans. He's handsome, sure. But he's kind of an ass, and I think you did a great job of illustrating that here!

Ahhhh...here we are at Mars,like how you are setting the tone with Kaiden,for some reason never cared for that character. Cant wait for the confrontation with TIM at the archives. And away we go.

I was hoping you'd go more off script for this part, maybe expanding on how Shepard felt in the heat of the moment being accused by one of her close friends of colluding with Cerberus, but this was mainly a transitional part of the main story just to setup the Crucible and Kaiden's injury, so I understand why you'd stick to canon for it.

That said, I think "Accusation" or "Trust" would've been better for the prompt. Trust is a huge issue in ME 3 with everybody being indoctrinated and people being out for their own survival ahead, especially concerning the Salarians, and this scene is indicative of that sense of growing distrust. If Shepard's close allies don't trust her, how can the world leaders she's attempting to persuade trust her?

I like the idea of Joker sending her text messages, it fits with the tech they should have in the future. He's her one bright spot right now and he probably knows it.

Kaidan can be taken two ways, as the whiner and mistrustful person who only sees the worst, or as someone who grieved for two years for someone he loved then saw her brought back as who knows what. How would you feel if your love (a friend or even just someone you know) was reincarnated by an organisation you couldn't trust? I understand he's not popular with everyone but I think his story arc completely matches his character. In saying that I get why Mara would be angry at him and not want him there if he can't trust her and she can't trust him. I am curious to see how you write this part of the story.

I'm glad you picked up on the smugness of Liara, I always felt that right through ME3. It's as if being the Shadow Broker has made her self importance more important than anything else. Nothing she says in 3 ever felt genuine to me.

And James, he's the strength in Mara's life at this point, the dutiful soldier who sees hope even if she doesn't. It slightly depressing that she needs convincing already and it's only going to get worse from here.

This chapter was a little dark, it picks up well on the mood and emotions they must all be feeling at this point. The destruction of Earth, the deaths on Mars, the mistrust and doubt and the possibility of hope. I actually thought it was very fitting.

Maybe not the best chapter, sure, but it's certainly not a bad one. Joker sending a winky face (and I'm so glad Mara didn't refer to it as a "winky face" XD) across the feed was a nice little touch and fitting to his character. And I liked the way you called out the different Mars.

No errors I could really find, and I didn't think you had to explain the prompt. Kaidan's a real asshat to Mara and this just reinforces it. Boy, do I hope that she rejects his offer to rejoin the Normandy later on. I wonder if she'll even bother visiting him more than once? Maybe to check up on Thane, she'll see him. At least I believe she and Thane were friendly.

I don't know if you've decided yet, but I think the scene with Dr. Eva, where Jacob crashes into her and then she attacks Kaidan, would do well nicely if shown from Joker's POV through Mara's headcam.

Huh... o.o

Gotta love Joker, making the most of every opportunity. But they're back together and that's all that matters really.

I love how Shepard thinks of Kaidan and James, not wanting either of them there. Unfortunately for her they're all she's got right now and she will need to rely on them. Both the ship and the people are different but there's no doubt she'll pull them into line and make them hers.

The warmth between Joker and Shepard was nice, the tension was gone, the doubt and guilt, but I do wonder if there will be a discussion about what happened while they were on Earth.

And upping the word count - fantastic. I love the idea of limiting yourself, you've given us some great pieces, but sometimes it's too limited. Letting the story blossom and grow is always the aim of a writer and if that means dropping your limits so be it. Bring it on.

Well, this was seriously heartwarming :)

Nice to see Joker never changes. I'm glad that we'll be able to read more in each than before, but I'm hesitant about celebrating the loss of the strict word count. I'm always up for more of your work, but there were countless incidents where culling the excess words from each chapter obviously helped strengthen the main points or emphasize certain elements. But as long as you don't lose that attention to detail, I'm all for more content with each update. Can't wait for more.

Im glad you got rid of word counts in your chapters, I know why you did it, but the story is so good I cant stop at 500. And thanx for throwing it out there. Waiting impatiently for next chap!

pfft. XD Joker.

Hey! I know I'm only up to chapter 2 so I can't really critique as much but at this point of time in the ME Era (I'm guessing it's the first game since Joker had gone off about his condition) Kaiden isn't a Major yet. He's actually a Lieutenant.
Sorry, just thought that you may've appreciated this sort of stuff.

- still reading!

Yay! Reunions! Yay! No more word count! The Shoker pairing has managed to push Shega out of its place as my second-favorite ME pairing, and it's all your fault. Ok not just yours but you're one of the authors who is majorly responsible lol. ️