Reviews for Alchema: Child of Fate |
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![]() ![]() Me before reading the next chapter info: Ooh, this is going to be goood. Me after reading said info: ...this can't possibly end well. |
![]() ![]() I can't wait for more Lady. She's awesome. |
![]() ![]() ![]() What an interesting story line. I know you're combining this one and Child of Strength into one, but other than the beginning, I can't see why? Then again you've used parts or definitely characters from this one in 'Very Bad Boys' I like all of them. They all have slight differences and ideas, but a common thread. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awwww...so sad, the games they were all forced to play. |
![]() ![]() ![]() you destroy me. WHY SO MANY WALL BREAKS NOW I WANT TO READ THE REST OF EACH ONE! T_T |
![]() ![]() ![]() so interesting. Liked it |
![]() ![]() ist an interesting Story, would be nice to see where this goes, will he be with draco and is draco a veela? how is voldemort...and why did dumbledor bind Lady to himself when he is with Grindelwald...who i think should be set free to teach dumbledore a lesson will there be a treesome with lucius Lady and narcissa one day... how will it all Change the future... i hope you come back one day to finish this Story one day |
![]() ![]() ![]() It's alright if I tear up, right? Entirely understandable? God, we haven't even hit the worst of it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey pal, maybe get your syntax into something resembling order, and then stop randomly popping into the first person. Harry isn't me, he's he or him. You have an intriguing concept, but your writing is incredibly stilted and bounces between decent and absolutely shit-tastic. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awsome fic! Hoping to See more of Lucius and Lady and maybe the Lestrange twins in the next fic! Also looking forwards to seeing Prince and his friends and Harry and his friends, That is going to be really interesting! |
![]() ![]() ![]() The July 31st dream is from your other story Can You Hear Me Now? right? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I usually don't like OCs in the HP fandom, but this story is interesting. So! Here's some con-crit3 You mixed first and third person a lot in this chapter. In the same phrase. Also, "of d'Arc" is redundant; d' and of have the same meaning. Like saying "the las noches" or something like that. I think your word processor is buggy. Summery is the wheather outside; summary is a brief description of the story. For some reason, I pictured Lady (as in, Mary) from DmC with Dante's coat. Was your character a shout out? |
![]() ![]() ![]() This chapter would have been better with half the descriptions there were and with more explanation. Also, the point of view sometimes changes from third to first person - it's quite jarring. |
![]() ![]() {Dream July 18th}oh my god I died laughing R.I.P. Allen_Heart |
![]() ![]() I got has far as chapter 11 before I had enough of this story ! It makes no senses what so ever ! The Crimson Mage. P.S: Did you eat bad mushroom when you did this ? |