Wow. Just wow. Bravo. Best story ever.

i really like it

Really good

Sweet story

Yeah..you need some work on your writing. For one thing, you seriously need to break up your paragraphs so it can be easier to read. It puts a strain on the eyes. Secondly, the dialogue also has to be separated as well. It doesn't work well if you have everything squeezed together. Makes it confusing as to who's speaking. Last thing is your punctuation. I noticed that you haven't used periods in a couple of your sentences. Your writing will be better if you fix these errors.

What an action I realy like it good one