LOVE LOVE LOVE! You made me cry! That last lines were beautiful!

This was beautiful.

OKay, so I went on a reading spree last night and read most of your stories but then I ran out of time and I needed sleep so I printed this one out. So I took it to school and I was reading it in English I (I love saying the three) anyway, I read it and by the end was completely choking in tears, sobbing uncontrollably and everyone was looking at me like I'm a weirdo, which I am, but you know, us weirdos keep it on the downlow. Great Great Great story, you should write more stories like this, I really loved it even though the ending was very sad. But then again the ending was the best part.

I don't know why I read it. You said it was sad, and it was. I hate sad fics. You did a really good job wiht it, though. I love the last part... That's my girl...

GOOd story, anyways. I'll go read the other Psychopath's Annoyomys stories...Ta ta,

-Jess

A few things... if Clarice was so antisocial right now why would she have a guy with her in her bedroom? Talk about bad signals...

Also, where on earth did the second agent come from like the angel of mercy?

Thirdly, please start a new line for each new person's dialogue, it's really nauseous to read with the formatting the way it is...

I thought the idea was a good one, but you need to spend more time with the lead-up to them getting together. It should take months, not minutes. It would be much more believable than 'oh I didn't have anything else to do.'

Seriously, this story has some potential, flesh it out some more, look at the formatting. Maybe Ardelia would've been the one to come in and shoot him? It is her house after all and she is more likely to be there than some random agent.

And btw they don't throw black tarps over corpses. They have black body-bags, but they use sheets or clear plastic in a morgue.

I don't like that ending! make one that lets them live all happy and stuff! I am a sop for happy endings!

Hi!

The story idea is very interesting, but it should have been longer...more details and building the idea slowly spread out over a few chapters would have made it better isntead of writing it all in one chapter...but it's a good storyline!

SL

It was OK.I think you need to work on the ending was a bit there were some good ideas here. You just need to work on fleshing things out a bit more thoroughly.