Great story, but really wordy and too descriptive/repetive. I agree that there was a lot of unnecessary parts and some speeches were too long and there was not much for the reader to assume. I did end up skipping some text through the series. Other than that great going.

Very lovely story, there is few of these in this fandom where Link is a slave at all. But it made it very interesting.

What is the name for your other story? And your story is great and very detailed so thanks for writing it

I like the title of the chapter (the sentence above "chapter one'). It sent a bunch of goosebumps all over my skin because it sounds epic! Like a fantasy epic. Plus it has a deeper meaning. That usually gets the bumps going, lol.

Your descriptions and imagery is gruesome, but it does justice in conveying the life of a slave. He's meaningless in other people's lives, just a shadow to serve and obey. It's so sad to see this, especially since this slave is a mere boy who suffers abuse and obedience on a daily basis. That shouldn't be a way to live out childhood, and it is probably the worst possible way for someone to grow into a person if all they hear is words that demean them to worthlessness and if all they get is aggression and violence instead of a mother's tender caress and words of affection. It's horrible that there once was a slave trade in this world, and I think you demonstrated most of its horrors in daily life in this universe. So great job!

Love the imagery! It is dark and quiet, yet loud and terrifying. I'll be following this! :)

So, I'm not sure whether or not you're interested in concrit. But seeing the amount you've already written, you're clearly an experienced author. I am too, by the way, and I know for sure I'd be interested in the unexpurgated thoughts of my readers. (I have stopped reviewing with my real username, because then I get criticism too. Not as a nice gesture, but as 'payback'.)

Positive aspects:

1. Very good, vivid descriptions.

2. Slow, (psychologically) plausible character development, especially regarding this traumatised version of Link.

3. Inventive ideas, OMG what happens next! moments.

Negative aspects:

1. I've found further 'French' and 'German' atrocities within the chapters, but I won't correct them this time, since I have no idea whether you'd like to go back and edit. Also I think it would be far better if you'd take the German and French stuff out of the text altogether, and replace them with Hylian, or Sheikan. I know for sure the former is an actual language, albeit an artificial one, like Klingon, but a language nevertheless, with grammar rules, and vocabulary. The Sheikah language - I admit ignorance in this case.

Please, for the love of the Three, don't let these inaccurate translations ruin your entire story. I don't know whether you speak other languages or not. But imagine reading a story in another language, and finding ridiculous, fake English sentences within it. Wouldn't you laugh and turn away?

2. There were very, VERY wordy passages. I skimmed entire walls of text from time to time. I understand you probably wish to tie up lose ends, but from now and then, you should just... leave it to your readers? Explaining everything to death can bore your readers away.

3. Link became a Gary Stu in later chapters. I'm so sorry to say this. Too many powers and abilities. Also, I liked him far better when he didn't talk yet in the story, but let his gestures speak for themselves (that was so in character for him anyway). But afterwards... a person who didn't talk for more than a decade should take it slooowly, be less eloquent, and talk less in the first place.

4. The King of Hyrule be like: 'You've been abused for the better part of your life, and you didn't get to make any decision of your own, but now, since I discovered you're my daughter's missing fiancée, you get to be king, and marry her. No, you don't get to decide this one, either. Also, I expect children within 9 months after the wedding. Say what? Who cares you've been sexually abused by both men and women, and you probably can't even perform, or be touched by Zelda without going into full blown panic mode!'

5. I didn't perceive any ZeLink vibes. At. All. And that's saying something, since I'm not exactly a ZeLink fan, so I usually wouldn’t care. But that rubbed me the wrong way. Zelda has a bit of romantic feelings for Link, who only seems to regard her as a friend, and has only just stopped seeing her as his mistress. There will be an arranged wedding, Link has nothing against it, it's not like he ever got to live his own life. There wasn't even a kiss (forgive me if I'm wrong, I skipped some text, but I hope I didn't just miss it?). There also wasn't Zelda trying to help Link coping with touches, perhaps embraces, showing him that intimacy does not equal pain, and humiliation.

6. I'm not sure, but I think bringing a gift in form of a very, very dirty, and clearly heavily abused slave would have been perceived as insult by the royal family, even more so in a country in which such treatment is illegal. I'm not sure whether the (really unlikable, good job on them) father and son pair would be so foolish as to not have Link clean up, dress nicely, and not hurt him quite a time before gifting him to Zelda. Also, Ceylon is a REAL country. In our world. I'm not sure whether you intentioned this...?

The negative aspects took far more place, but that's just because I felt I needed to explain why I brought them on. The positive ones speak for themselves, I think.

I hope my review was helpful. I certainly tried to be (and I'd certainly be happy if someone took their time to pick apart my stories, I don't get genuine concrit at all). I liked your story, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered.

Good luck!

-HaveSomeConcrit (aka ReluctantHero) (not my real username, either)

Rules on how to appear cultured, instead of ridiculous:

1. You shall NOT use languages you do not speak in your stories.

2. You shall NOT use Google translator.

3. You shall not have your Zelda characters speak German or French, because they are NOT German or French, since they 'exist' in a parallel universe.

I speak both German and French. 'Kleine eins' and 'la vie de mon artérielle' made me cringe, and cry. I can only assume that you intentioned the former to be 'little one'. In German, it's 'meine Kleine' (female gender, because it's Impa, the male one is 'mein Kleiner'). There is NO word for word translation from English.

'la vie de mon artérielle' is just gibberish (direct translation: 'the life of my arterial'; 'artérielle' is an adjective, by the way), and for the life of me, I have no idea what you wanted to convey. Perhaps 'the survival of my bloodline'? As in, Link saved the king's only child? Then it should be 'la survie de ma lignée'.

I want to help you, so take it, or leave it, it's your decision. But I think it's a pity having THIS stuck out of an otherwise great story, like a sore thumb.

This was one of the best stories I have ever read. I like how Link is always thinking of others and how he helped all those poor people. I like how kind and wise Impa is in this story. And now Link has the happy future he has always deserved. Good job!

I am going to give my honest review. I deeply enjoyed the story til a bit more than half way through, I started to lose interest. I wish I could tell you why. You should continue writing and your ability to keep the readers interest will grow. I feel like you got tired of the story, and in a sense got lazy. That might be why your readers lost interest. Just a suggestion. Either way I read it all the way through and appreciate your tale. Thank you.

I also liked this fic!

I'm a sucker for slave!Link regardless of the circumstance. I have problems, yes. You at least had him develop really well.

The Tierneys were such great villains with absolutely nothing sympathetic about them. Sometimes you have to have villains that you can only face and you made it clear that not even their mother could love them.

I do like the politics you added in terms of how their world works and what not. I also found it an interesting touch to give the Sheikah a German touch.

I like how human Zelda felt in this. She didn't start out wise or even the nicest. She had a good development too and it was clear that though she could be foolish, she wasn't malicious.

We need more stories like this.

Wow. So Link was engaged to Zelda? Nice. But, one question. Is Link fourteen or seventeen? You said that when Zelda turned three Link's home was set on fire and then we have the fourteen year skip. So did you mean three years or three months?

The Black Butler Manga is Better than Black Butler Anime.

Though they made a Anime out of the circus Arc.

i love this story there is only one problem maybe two if you look at it that way.

1) when your characters are speaking please use more paragraphs because it makes me really want to skip what they are saying.

2) the grammar and spelling really need to be looked at.

This is perhaps my favorite fic on the entire site.

I think it was the Hero of Twilight talking to Link as a Shade much like the Hero of Time talked to him. Black Butler is an anime. A lot of people like it. It's about a kid who sells his soul to a demon who then serves the kid until the kid has what he signed the contract with the demon for. In his case, it is avenging his parents. It's pretty cool :)