Hello! Hi! Wow! This was a roller coaster of a read! I had so many emotions that I didn't think I would end up finishing this gargantuan story of yours, but here I am!

To start off, I honestly didn't read all the chapters. Although your writing is good and storytelling is one of the best I've seen, there are some chapters and parts that I thought just wasn't in relation to the story that you set up in the early chapters—and also that I was so into Jasper I didn't want to waste time reading about others stories.
I also wanted to read all of the Q/A but was too tired after reading the epilogue; here's my honest view about the overall fanfic.

When it comes to, in my honest opinion, storytelling, you should always first guide the reader to the p.o.v's of the character that you plan to leave alive in the end. If wanted to kill Jasper in his descent into madness in your orig plot than you should have made Arya your main character with Jasper being the second. If you had done that then there will be no problem with Jasper dying because the readers will still be with Arya then follow to ur orig plot with Aegon becoming king. I loved your battles scenes and the like, it's one of the best i've read in this site but I think your one flaw is character development. Truly, the characters are very one dimensional, and if that hurts i'm sorry but for me, it's true.

Aside from Jasper who, of course, was ur main lead—that's why he had the most development, the other characters were not so. Now it doesn't mean that's bad, consistency is the key for war time stories, like Aegon and Daenerys for example. But let's take Arya-the girl who's ur second lead, whilst I love her so, she didn't develop mentally as much as I would have wanted her to. Yes, she was young and married young but I would have imagined that with her rebellious attitude, she would have liked to at least sit in with the council when war started or at least when it was known that she was queen, with the excuse that Cersei did it during her reign as queen mother to joffrey and to spite Cersei. She saw men did it-and now that she had power to do so, why can't she? I honestly felt that Arya would have liked to have at least equal power in authority as her husband in the name of her husband the King. But what I saw in the end really disappointed me so as she became more 'queenly' in what she imagined Sansa to be. The only development I really just saw in her was that she had more of a libido than her husband and wasn't afraid to proclaim it. I only saw her as a child with a protective motherly streak with her pup that's it. I urge you to explore ur characters more than just give them more a sense of resposibilities while the days pass by. i think that's ur one weakness. Hopefully you'll do better in ur other works.

Before this, I actually read a GoT fanfic called Trials and Tribulations of an OathKeeper which is another massive fanfic like urs. It was about an OC trueborn baratheon crown prince and joffrey the second born. So, I couldn't help but compare this to that and found it fascinating how vastly different the crown and the second born prince world's are. If Jasper was the crown prince then we wouldn't have as much difficulty as he had in this story of urs. And in comparison, whilst you had the better war time storytelling, oathkeeper had better character development. Take the queen of that story, Sansa. She had a saying that though she was a slow learner she learned nonetheless, and I thought it was great because it emphasised every action she did afterwords and slowly but surely grew and became a "Wolf Queen" in her own right. Arya would have became her own version if you have let her grown more.

Phew, my rantings almost done... Let's talk about ur dialougue. Character development are also shown by how they speak, whilst some were divine-I love how Jasper talked Daenerys down in the supposed "peace talk"-some were lacking. Jasper's inspirational speeches were, for me, weak. He should've had more to say to his men at the "Glory" "Honour" "Victory" speech. Arya begging for her husband's mercy was a show, yes, but to ooc for me. Robb could have said more to Jasper bearing in mind that he has her sister as his wife during that massacre of red robes and that talk with Cersei that had her eyes pulled, I think, wasn't enough of a trigger to spark Jasper's anger, considering his anger was already dulled when he sparred with his kingsguard before he went to see her (but it wasn't a bad response from him).

Overall, I think that despite how good ur storytelling is, the focus of what we're suppose to see and what we're suppose to feel is too messy. Keep focus. U emphasise to much on war development that u forget characters that are suppose to be ur base if not the main focus of the story. If you start on a character then u best stick with that character until the end. Always remember where the readers eyes are looking out from, who you want it on and who best you want them to understand with because as the story progresses, the readers will always sympathize from who they are first introduced to and the others will be second.

Phew, okay, rant over. I just want to say, despite the flaws, this is one of the two of the BEST OC GoT fanfics i've ever read. I don't that will change no matter what other fics I'll come across to. I imagine if u pursuit in story telling that you'll improve and be one of the best damn authers out there. I very much enjoyed reading this and no doubt come back to it just to relive some chapters. other than that I have nothing more to say. I loved it. Ur awesome. BYEE~~~

Holy shit this story is garbage. Jasper is a Gary sue garbage character. In the original unedited chapter Jasper discovers that Cersei cheated on Robert and committed incest so he tortured and rapes her committing incest himself. Lmaoo this author and his fans are literal Incels.

He is alive. He is alive. He is alive. *insert joyful laughter here*

fuck you i can't because of you

What a sissy. Christ

Arya has got to be the stupidest fuck of all stupidest fucks.

Wow. He really is incompetent. Thank god he isn't king. And fuck Arya.

The last part of this chapter made me drop lol he knows the white walkers are around and that the other Targaryen has three dragons and that he still has Aegons army to worry about so he just decides to kill it? The dumbest thing I’ve ever read

This dude Jasper's masterplan
"Yeah you have a claim on the iron throne, but this ain't the iron throne BIIIITCH"

what a fantastic story. This really gives me hope for this whole site that I can still find great works like these. spelling errors were rare and few, a story that kept the reader engaged, and finally a story with a satisfying ending something that is rare in this site. overall thank you for finishing this astounding tale.

I tried, I really did, but all the damn red priests and now this witch hunt. I'm just gonna skip to the end. it's well written at least, but at this point I hope a comet hits the planet causing an extinction level event.

the best part about the show was there was no young griff bs. asoiaf feels like grrm was brainstorming for his main plot, couldn't pick one so just decided to scrabble them all together.

okay, this is the best ending ever for the Lannister siblings. I only wish it would have come sooner.

why does no one point out that it wasn't his family name that made Aegon king, it was due to conquering the individual kingdoms . and the hypocrisy of it being okay for him to be crowned this way, but anyone who does it after is a usurper?

why not have Jasper send the Iron Throne to Danaerys and suggest she name herself Queen of Essos?